Killer Cosplay, Prehistoric Penitentiary, Redder ’n Deader

ILoverCoser is a re-seller on Amazon™, hawking unlicensed cosplay masks (from China) as The Hulk, Captain America, Cat Woman, Maleficent, and even a Demogorgon. But it’s their Deadpool knitted over-the-head mask that really nails it. Only thing missing is the rest of the costume, guns, knives and a backpack loaded with guns and knives. 

The product description: “Our mask is high quality knitted fabric and made by our artisan exquisite craftsmanship. This mask is perfect for masquerade, party and cosplay occasions. And, it’s a great addition to your wardrobe for a theater production or school play.” School play? Have they seen a Deadpool movie? They might wanna edit that last sentence.

So while we hop on over to Amazon™ and buy this $45.99 mask to use on Halloween, hanging out at 7-Eleven™ or a school play (click this), here are a few out now/upcoming horror/sci-fi movies that may or may not be loaded with guns and knives…

DINOSAUR PRISON / Out now (YouTube™)

“A detention facility houses caged prehistoric creatures.”

And those punk ass Jurassic lawbreakers should be locked up. But I wanna know what happened to the law enforcement officers who read ’em their rights. 

ARTIFACTS OF FEAR / Out now (Tubi™)

“Enter a world of witches, murder and mayhem as two teens bite off more than they can chew, meddling in an infamous local antiques store where things are not what they seem. Experience a roller coaster of fun and fright in this Hammer™-inspired anthology.”

I liked this better when it was called Needful Things (1993).

YOU’RE NOT ME / Out now (Spain), Release pending US 2023 (VOD)

“After an absence of three years, Aitana makes a surprise return home at Christmas to find that her parents have replaced her with an unknown woman who is being treated like their daughter.”

Can’t tell you how many times my parents did that to me, usually when I stepped out to go to the store.

REDHEAD / October 30, 2023 (VOD)

“Cannibalism and depravity drive Autumn Blacksmith, now widowed, to engage in a relentless revenge binge. Will she kill every man around her?”

Better walk…gingerly…around her then. Heh.

Monopolizing Halloween, Bald Ghosts, Loch Ness Sewer

Scaring the solids out of you every Halloween season isn’t just fun, it’s big business. According to Statista.com consumers (you, me, that guy on the bus.) spent $3.3 billion dollars in 2005 on Halloween stuff/delicious candy. And they’re forecasting $12.2 billion spending dollars this 2023 Halloween season. That’s up $2 billion over last year. Don’t you people ever save your money? Geez.

But arguably no one is better positioned to take advantage of our disposable All Hallow’s Eve income than Spirit Halloween™, what with their Gorilla Glue™ grip on everything Halloween via their pop-up and online grocery store. And in a genius move, Spirit Halloween™ is selling a board game…of themselves. Through a licensing deal, Spirit Halloween™ is offering Spirit Monopoly™, their branded Halloween theme of Monopoly™, the biggest selling board game of all time.

Historical fun fact: Monopoly™ — originally called The Landlord’s Game, was created back 1903 by Lizzie Magie, patented in 1904 and went into production in 1906. As of 2023, Monopoly™ games and their licenses have raked in nearly 1.5 billion in sales. That’ll put a few hotels on Boardwalk.

So while we all click this to get Spirit Monopoly™ for a pittance of $39.99, here are a few out now/upcoming horror/sci-fi movies that may or may not pass go (you got that reference, right?)…

PARTY BUS / Out now (Tubi™)

“Austin’s friends have gone above and beyond to make his bachelor party one to remember. Unaware, he and his friends board the Party Bus with his ex-girlfriend and some shady people from his past for the ride of their lives.”

I liked this better when it was called Party Bus To Hell (2017).

KISAH TANAH JAWA POCONG GUNDUL / Out now (Indonesia), Release pending US (2023/2024)

“Hao saves Sari from the wrath of Pocong Gundul, a malevolent sorcerer who appears in the form of a bald-headed ghost, risking his life to stop his evil plans.”

The ghost isn’t bald — his hair is merely invisible. And the title translates to The Story of the Land of Java Pocong Gundul. Now it makes more sense.

HOUSE OF ROOMS / Out now (Germany), Release pending US (2023/2024)

“A desperate TV director creates a chilling reality show in which contestants are trapped in a haunted location. Unbeknownst to them, a deadly mole and killer lurk among the group, leading to a fight for survival and a shocking twist that defies expectations.”

“Unbeknownst” is not a real word. The need to change it to “unbeknown” before the Dictionary Police show up on their door step. And telling us up front there’s a deadly mole and a killer among the group? They just gave us two more reasons to not watch it. (The first is the second-hand store of a plot.)

THE LOCH NESS HORROR / November 7, 2023 (VOD/DVD)

“A submarine vanishing prompts a rescue operation that comes face to face with the cause — the Loch Ness Monster. Having escaped the Loch, it is now unleashing decades of pent-up aggression on all those it encounters. In a fight for survival, a team of rescue operatives must overcome the terrors both beneath them and within their ranks.”

Nessie escaped the Loch when she grew too big and Scotland flushed her down the toilet into the sewer.

Vampire Thespians, Drug Sharks, Camping Ghosts

You already know spooky-mouthed Bela Lugosi starred as the iconic vampire in the 1931 Universal™ classic, Dracula. But what you may not know is that Lugosi played a vampire before that on a Broadway stage in 1927, which was his first English-speaking role. (Stage props to him — it’s hard to enunciate with a neck in your mouth.)

Since then, the story of Dracula has been performed on stage a bunch of times, including a 1977 production starring Frank Langella, who went on to star in the 1979 Dracula remake. And because it’s Broadway, they have to ruin everything by turning another version of Bram Stoker’s 1897 story into a musical, which they did…to ill-fated box office results. That ought to keep Broadway from ever doing musicals again.

Now Drac is back on the boards with the New World Stages production of Dracula! A Comedy of Terrors. And its playing six days a week with early and late shows on weekends in New York, now until January 7, 2024. And at $89 a ticket (before applicable service fees and taxes that’ll feel like a stake in your wallet), you probably shouldn’t miss the play critics are calling, “Over-the-top and bloody hilarious — a must-see!” — DC Theatre Arts and “Dracula has jokes and wordplay by the truckload!” — The Daily Beast.

So while we click this to score tickets, here are a few upcoming horror/sci-fi movies that may or may not be adaptable into a musical…

FACELESS AFTER DARK / Out now (VOD)

“Following her breakout success in a killer clown horror flick, Bowie finds herself held hostage by an unhinged fan determined to recreate the film’s fatal plot.”

Cool — they should turn this movie into a book and title it Misery.

NIGHT OF THE HUNTED / October 20, 2023 (Shudder™)

“When an unsuspecting woman stops at a remote gas station in the dead of night, she’s made the plaything of a sociopath sniper with a secret vendetta. To survive she must not only dodge his bullets and fight for her life, but also figure out who wants her dead and why.”

They might wanna change gas station to EV Charging Station. You know, to keep up with the times.

DEEP FEAR / November 3, 2023 (VOD)

“On a journey across the Caribbean to meet her fiancé, an accomplished round the world yachtswoman goes to aid a sinking vessel. She finds three survivors who, it transpires, are narcos and force her to dive down into the wreck to retrieve 850 kilos of cocaine. The plan is thwarted by frenzied man-eating sharks that’ve been attracted to the wreck by the dead bodies.”

There was a movie with the same title that came out in 2022, with this plot: “Paris, the early ’90s. Three students decide to celebrate their graduation with a visit of the Paris catacombs. There they discover the legendary 717 Bunker. Little do they know it’s not the only thing Nazi soldiers have left behind them.” I’m guessing the Nazis left behind a sewer shark.

CAMPFIRE / Release pending 2023 (VOD)

“A horror anthology, in which campers tell six ghost stories around a campfire.”

I liked this better when it was called Campfire Tales (1997) and Campfire Stories (2001) and Creepy Campfire Stories (2015) and Story Game (2022).

Zombie Trilogy, Dying To Date, Horror Rubbish

Platinum-selling heavy metal ghoul Rob Zombie is a singer, songwriter, record producer, video director, filmmaker and actor. His latest flick (as of this power blogging) is 2022’s The Munsters, which was a big hit on Netflix™, the streaming movie service that now charges you to not have commercials f’ing up your TV binging life.

Of the eight movies Sir Zombie has done, it’s the Firefly horror trilogy that sticks in your through like half-swallowed, freshness-expired meat: Rob Zombie’s House of 1000 Corpses (2003), The Devil’s Rejects (2005), and 3 from Hell (2019). And now there’s a book about ’em called House of Rejects: The Making of Rob Zombie’s Firefly Trilogy is available now in hardcover, paperback, and e-book via Harker Press™. 

From the sales pitch: “The 342-page book is written by Dustin McNeill (Slash of the Titans: The Road to Freddy vs Jason, Taking Shape: Developing Halloween from Script to Scream). House of Rejects features exclusive cast and crew interviews, rare behind-the-scenes photos, extensive rundowns of early script drafts, insights on deleted scenes, and more.” FYI: You’ll need to to have prior reading skills to get the full experience. If so, click this obtain a copy.

So while we all purchase the book and read it without moving our lips, here are a few upcoming horror/sci-fi/fantasy movies/TV series that may or may not be better than freshness-expired meat…

LOKI (SEASON 2) / October 6, 2023 (Disney+™)

“The second season of the television series Loki, based on Marvel Comics™ featuring the character of the same name, sees Loki working with Mobius M. Mobius, Hunter B-15, and other members of the Time Variance Authority (TVA) to navigate the multiverse in order to find Sylvie, Ravonna Renslayer, and Miss Minutes.”

As cool as Loki is (more so than his surfer model brother, Thor), Miss Minutes is the breakout star. And she’s a cartoon!

SOUL MATES / October 20, 2023 (Limited Theaters)

“Jason and Allison — two unsuspecting strangers — find themselves participants in a twisted new dating service, led by the Matchmaker, who forces the two singles inside a nightmarish maze designed to help them find their soul mate — or die trying.

Date, mate, lacerate.

BLACK NOISE / November 3, 2023 (VOD)

“An elite team of security contractors are hired to rescue a VIP from an isolated island estate, only to arrive and find a mostly empty island, save for opposing masked gunmen and a mysterious siren sound that drives them all to the brink of insanity.”

And that mysterious siren sound is EDM. That annoying repetitive crap will drive anyone normal to the brink of insanity.

WHEN THE TRASH MAN KNOCKS / November 10, 2023 (VOD)

“The idyllic Thanksgiving celebration of a small Southern town takes a harrowing turn when the deranged killer known as the Trash Man resurfaces. He’s on a mission to craft his own macabre family by using the body parts of his unfortunate victims, forcing a mother and her son to confront their deepest and darkest fears.”

I hope Trash Man isn’t a…waste…of time Heh.

Documenting Ghosts, Italian Gorefest, Human Food

Here’s a click-bait headline for you: “The Enfield Poltergeist Docuseries Tackles One Of The Most Infamous Hauntings Of All Time,” and the kicker: The Hodgson family’s ordeal was based on a real-life haunting in Enfield, London and considered one of the most well-documented — and terrifying — of all time.” I’ve seen bits and pieces of this story on YouTube™ and the evidence is overwhelming in favor of REAL ghosts working their trade and doing what they do: scaring the “you” out of your “tube.” 

From the press release: “In 1977, the terrifying haunting of an everyday family in Enfield, London, dominated headlines across the United Kingdom and had a tremendous impact on an entire generation of children. The mysterious case forever changed ideas about the supernatural and that it wasn’t just restricted to castles and stately homes but could be experienced by anyone, anywhere. The chilling story has inspired fictionalized versions of the case, including the film The Conjuring 2, a television series, and two stage plays.”

The Enfield Poltergeist premiers in its entirety on October 27, 2023 on Apple TV+™. So while we debate piecing together the story on YouTube™ for free or paying Apple TV+’s™ frightful streaming subscription fee of $6.99 (plus applicable fees ’n tax), here are a few upcoming horror/sci-fi movies that may or may not scare anyone in the UK… 

ADAM CHAPLIN (EXTENDED CUT) / Release pending 2023 (Screambox™)

“Following the suspicious death of his wife, he investigates her murder and discovers mafia boss Denny is involved. Unable to trust the corrupt police, Adam summons a demon who offers him superhuman strength and dark powers, and promises to lead him to the murderer if he does everything the demon asks.”

Couple ’o things: This is an Italian horror movie that came out in 2011. Now it’s being re-released with additional footage. Here’s the sales pitch: Adam Chaplin is described as “One of the goriest movies you’ve never seen; the extended cut is even more batsh*t insane” and “You are not ready for and truly aren’t prepared for Adam Chaplin” and “This Italian must-see-to-be-believed-madness.” They had me at Italian. 

THE BELL KEEPER / October 13, 2023 (VOD) December 5, 2023 (DVD)

“A group of friends travel to a haunted campsite with a mysterious bell. According to legend, if you ring the bell at midnight, a murderer will appear. This group’s plan to debunk the myth goes awry as they discover that the truth is stranger — and far more frightening — than fiction.”

Or you could just look in the mirror and say the murderer’s name five times.

TAETER BURGER / October 25, 2023 (VOD)

“In the year 2161, the dictatorship of Taeter City, a newly-formed small American state, has lowered the crime rate and solved the hunger crisis by turning criminals into the latest fast food craze served exclusively at Taeter Burger restaurants. Robotic traps, crazed cops, the restaurant’s malignant manager, and an army of murderous mutants, are just a part of the atrocities they must face before they discover the truth behind the terrorist attack, in this prequel of Taeter City (2012).”

Crime Burgers — do fries come with that?

THE COFFEE TABLE / release pending 2023 (VOD)

“A middle-aged couple, blessed with a newborn baby, buys a gaudy coffee table, a decision that will dramatically change their lives.”

This came out in Spain in 2022. Glad they’re finally getting a US release as coffee tables are absolutely terrifying, which means this movie is gonna be super scary. 

Godzilla Holiday, Artificial Exorcisms, Trouser Monster

Stop what you’re doing right now (i.e., put down your refreshing adult beverage) and mark this on your calendar: November 3, 2023 — National Godzilla Day. It’s also the day Godzilla Minus One comes out in Japan. A fortunate coincidence. Then the movie comes out in the U.S. on December 1, 2023, which happens to land on the real birthday of Jesus Christ of pay-per-religion fame. Another coincidence. (They moved JC’s birthday to December 25th to put more shopping days distance between Christmas and that other pagan holiday, Thanksgiving.) 

I posted the above movie U.S. art on July 11, 2023. The seas were calm that day and I ate a peanut butter sandwich as I was all out of caviar. But this poster is the Japanese variant. For G-nerds not unlike myself, this is a BIG DEAL. And now they released a full body photo of Godzilla as he appears in the movie. A lot smaller than his MonsterVerse counterparts, but still devastating in his devastation.

So while we go online to find Godzilla flags to wave around on National Godzilla Day and stake out our spot for the inevitable parade, here are a few out now/upcoming horror/sci-fi moves that may or may not be as tasty as peanut butter OR caviar… 

SIAM CURSE / Out now (VOD)

“A love triangle of best friends who fell in love with the same person finally caused black magic to be involved. This became a tragedy leading to a scary and never-ending revenge passing to the next generation.”

Black magic and revenge goes well with love gone wrong. Just look at any Hallmark™ movie.

DOCTOR CHEON AND THE LOST TALISMAN / Out now (South Korea), Release pending US 2023/2024 (VOD)

“Doctor Cheon runs a YouTube™ exorcism channel. Believing that he is dealing with people’s minds rather than ghosts, he performs fake exorcisms on people. One day, he meets a new client named Yoo-Kyung, who asks Doctor Cheon to save her possessed younger sibling.”

Fake exorcism is akin to throwing up on non-alcoholic beer.

HOUSE OF DOLLS / October 3, 2023 (VOD)

“Three estranged sisters return home to collect an inheritance only to confront each other and trigger a downward spiral of murder inside of a giant doll house.”

How giant of a doll house are we talking here — life-sized Chucky doll big or inflatable love doll big?

ERECTING A MONSTER 2: BRIDE OF THE MONSTER / Release pending 2023 (VOD)

“The film picks up after the events of the first film where Victor has to stop his possessed penis before more people die thanks to his prick.”

I should probably not say anything at this time.

Cryptic Cryptids, People Under The Stares, Freshly-Scrubbed Serial Killer

Everybody not living under a rock has heard of Bigfoot, The Loch Ness Monster, Mothman, Abominable Snowman, The Jersey Devil and El Chupacabra. But how many of you have heard of lesser known mythical creatures, like Wampus Cat or Jackalope or The Malawi Terror Beast, The Pope Lick Monster or The Lizard Man of Scape Ore Swamp? If more people knew about these guys, these B-list beasts could cash in on merch sales the way Bigfoot and Nessie have been doing for decades. (I would very much like a Mongolian Death Worm coffee cup, please.)

There are one billion and a half books on cryptids and their lineage, but my go-to read has been Cryptozoology A To Z: The Encyclopedia of Loch Monsters, Sasquatch, Chupacabras, and Other Authentic Mysteries of Nature by famed folklore authors Loren Coleman and Jerome Clark. This book came out in 1999 and remains a near-definitive assessment of all things cryptid. If it allegedly exists, you’ll find it here.

I myself have even published a rundown of some of the world’s most notable cryptids and more in The Best of ManSplat (68 pages, newspaper tabloid). The article, titled Mysterious Mysteries Solved! covers everything from Bigfoot, The Loch Ness Monster, crop circles, UFOs, ghosts, hippies and more in beer-soaked detail. Get a shamelessly self-promoted copy here.

So while you ALL order The Best of ManSplat (for adult eyes only as there’s LOTS of nudity/salty language/alcohol references up the wazoo/whazoo), here are a few upcoming horror/sci-fi movies that may or may not exist…

15 CAMERAS / October 13, 2023 (VOD)

When Cam and Sky bought their duplex, it seemed like the perfect investment opportunity for the young couple; a starter home, a mortgage offset by renters, and even a guest room for Sky’s sister, Carolyn. However, as Sky and Cam slowly uncover hidden cameras and secrets of the duplex’s previous owner, obsession consumes their marriage and they both fall into destructive forms of voyeurism. When new tenants move in downstairs, their fixation with observing others has deadly consequences and they are forced to confront the very things they have been consumed by.”

The movie is a sequel to 13 Cameras (2015) and 14 Cameras (2018). regardless, I’m ready for my closeup.

BARRY CLEANSKINS / Release pending 2023/2024 (VOD)

“Something evil has awoken from centuries of slumber. In the sleepy suburb of Northvale where all is not well. Police are investigating the growing number of missing persons cases, which seem to repeat a pattern the same are over 20 years ago.”

Barry Cleanskins. With a name like that, he should be a spokesperson for Irish Spring Deodorant Soap™.

TIGER STRIPES / Release pending 2023 (VOD)

“An 11-year-old girl who is carefree until she starts to experience horrifying physical changes to her body.”

Uh yeah, it’s called puberty.

GOLDILOCKS AND THE THREE BEARS: DEATH AND PORRIDGE / Release pending 2024 (VOD)

“Never enter into someone’s house without permission.”

YET ANOTHER entry into the recent gold rush to turn children stories/nursery rhymes into horror movies. When you think about it, Goldilocks and the Three Bears, published in 1922, was the first home invasion story.

Christmas For Halloween, Reptile Roadhouse, Black Magic Metal

The Halloween season is once again upon us and is a veritable Christmas for horror fans. (I probably said that before.) This means a plethora of horror movies of all shapes and budgets flooding the airwaves, with literal thousands of titles streaming free on Tubi™, Dark Matter TV™, Freevee™ and more. But this year, you might wanna boot scoot on over to Shout! TV™ as they’ve once again teamed up with Scream Factory TV™ for 31 Nights of Horror, now in its fifth year of doing just that.

From Shout! TV’s™ promotional shouting: “Shout! TV™ and Scream Factory TV™ proudly present the 5th annual 31 Nights of Horror, a streaming event to celebrate this upcoming Halloween season. 31 Nights of Horror programming will stream every night of October on both Shout! TV™ (broadcast edited versions) and Scream Factory TV™ (uncensored) with fan-favorite horror films of all genres including thrillers, slashers, ghost stories, zombies, cult classics, creature features, and more!”

Their curated program features some rather impressive movies from all eras of horror and science fiction, including familiar and obscure titles as Santo and the Treasure of Dracula (1968), Lisa and the Devil (1974), Bloodsucking Bastards (2015), Nosferatu the Vampyre (1979), Dog Soldiers (2002), Lady Frankenstein (1971), Night of the Demons (1988), and more — 62 in all. Click here to view the viewables.

So while we warm up the couch for a marathon month of horror, here are a few out now/upcoming horror/sci-fi movies that may or may not qualify as viewable…

SNAKE HOTEL / Out now (YouTube™)

“A British monster movie involving a game show, female prisoners, bizarre human experiments and slithering giant snakes.”

Pffft! We call this Saturday night at the Tug Tavern.

PROJECT Z / NOVEMBER 3, 2023 (VOD)

“A group of film students bring along three unemployed actors to make a zombie movie at a closed motel in the Norwegian mountainside. Suddenly their fiction is turned into reality, when an unknown creature starts terrorizing the film set.”

This plot’s been around for a long time — cast and crew show up to make a (insert unknown creature of preference here) movie, and then that unknown creature shows up. What are the odds?

PAMALI: THE TIED CORPSE / Release pending 2023 (VOD)

“A gravedigger and students who break a taboo by whistling at night face a horde of pocong apparitions.”

I can deal with one pocong apparition, but a horde? How about hell no!

DEATHGASM II: GOREMAGEDDON / Release pending crowdfunding 2024 (VOD)

“After thwarting a demon apocalypse (which he helped to create), Brodie is mourning the death of his best friend — the charmingly psychopathic Zakk. Brodie decides to reform his heavy metal band Dethgasm in order to win the upcoming ‘Metal Quest,’ a battle of the bands which will be attended by record company executives. Brodie hesitantly decides to once again use black magic, and with the help of the now one-armed drummer Giles, they attempt to raise their dead band members from the grave. But Undead Zakk is unpredictable and reckless, and able to detach body parts at will. Brodie also struggles to keep Zakk and Dion focused as their hunger for eating the intestines of live humans grows.”

This sequel is a long time coming as Deathgasm came out in 2015. If you crave heavy metal — AND YOU SHOULD — watch that one and then this one if/when it comes out.

Kaiju Characters, Copy Cat Exorcist, Cloud Monster

Godzilla: King of the Monsters came out in 2019 (you may have heard of it), and had 27 character posters to help pump up the anticipation volume. (Fun fact: I previously posted almost all of ’em. You’re welcome.) This exhilarating posters were designed by B O N D, a design house in Los Angeles, whose done movie posters for The Flash, Blue Beetle, Meg 2: The Trench, Guardians of the Galaxy, The Nun II, The Batman, Godzilla vs. Kong and eight million more.

B O N D’s Godzilla, King of the Monsters character posters — Godzilla, King Ghidorah, Mothra, Rodan — featured a distinct design style, with each monster’s name running vertically down the art. And this style has been emulated using all of the Godzilla (and more) monster universe by various artists, with a fair amount of ’em coming out of Taiwan and South Korea.

So yeah, here are clever renditions using Japanese monster guys like Gamera (turtle monster), Biollante (plant monster), Hedorah (pollution monster), Ebirah (seafood monster), Space Godzilla (space monster), Mecha-King Ghidorah (half robot space monster) and lots more. Go on Pinterest™ to see all of ’em.

So while we all wish these kaiju character posters were available for purchasing/showing off, here are a few upcoming horror/sci-fi movies that may or may not be suitable for framing… 

THE EXORCISTS / SEPTEMBER 29, 2023 (VOD)

“When his child is possessed by an unrelenting evil, a father hires three expert exorcists to purge the demon and save his family. But this demon is merely the gatekeeper to a true hellion that will be unleashed on Earth if the trio of exorcists fail.”

Of course, YET ANOTHER Asylum Studios™ RIPOFF, this time RIPPING OFF The Exorcist: Believer, which at this time and space has not even been released yet. The ONLY saving grace — Doug Bradley, Hellraiser’s Pinhead, is starring. He should tear Asylum Studios™ souls apart — if they had one.

PIG KILLER / November 17, 2023 (Theaters), November 21, 2023 (VOD)

“Pig Killer spins a tale of true-crime terror, sheathed in sadism, splattered in gore and transcending all manner of good taste for an honest portrait of a reclusive, pig-farming serial killer who only got caught because he, in his own words, ‘got sloppy.’”

Sheathed in sadism, splattered in gore. That should be the movie’s kicker line.

SCALPER / Release pending 2023 (VOD)

“Everyone around psychic Clementine Carter is being brutally murdered by a masked killer dubbed ‘The Scalper.’ Is it dead psycho Andrew Lubitz back from the grave, a copycat killer or a horror beyond imagination? Clementine must use her second sight to stay one step ahead of the psycho’s blade to solve the mystery.”

I liked this better when it was called Maniac (1980).

SKY MONSTER / Release pending 2023 (VOD)

“A magnetic force that pulls a small plane into the Bermuda Triangle. Now a group of friends find themselves stalked by a beast…in the clouds.”

I liked this better when it was called Altitude (2010).

Halloween’s Insides, Pennsylvania Werewolves, Dead Done Walking

Good news: Titan Books™ is releasing Halloween: The Official Making of Halloween, Halloween Kills & Halloween Ends on October 17, 2023. Great news: It’s written by Abbie Bernstein who did The Art of Godzilla: King of the Monsters and The Art of Mad Max: Fury Road. Even greater news: The book is loaded with photos for those among us who have yet to learn how to read. 

From Titan Books’™ press release: “The 240-page hardcover book serves as an official companion to the recent Halloween trilogy, featuring interviews with cast and crew accompanied by behind-the-scenes photography from the sets. The making of this much-anticipated movie trilogy is covered in fascinating detail in this official companion book. The creative processes behind the stunts, costumes, production design and make-up effects are revealed through interviews with the cast and crew, while captivating on-set photography captures the shooting of the key scenes and action set-pieces.”

Even Michael Myers would give this book a five-knife rating. So while we click here to pre-order the $46.50 comparatively-priced publication, here are a few upcoming horror/sci-fi movies that may or may not have sub-titles for those among us who have yet to learn how to read…

SPOOKTACULAR! / September 23, 2023 (VOD)

“A gripping documentary that unravels the secrets behind SpookyWorld, America’s iconic Halloween extravaganza, which set the template for the multi-billion-dollar industry of terror. Presented by executive producer Tom Savini, Spooktacular! will bow in Austin at the largest genre film festival in the US, specializing in horror, fantasy, sci-fi, and action movies from all around the world.”

A documentary that features soundbites by Alice Cooper and The Exorcist’s Linda Blair. They also have ukulele overlord Tiny Tim, though not sure how that works since he died in 1996. Maybe that’s where the “spooktacular” part comes in.

WEREWOLVES UNEARTHED / October 1, 2023 (VOD)

“A recent rash of werewolf sightings in western Pennsylvania have grabbed the attention of documentarian Ward Hiney. In order to get to the truth behind these ongoing encounters, he enlisted journalist and ardent skeptic Chad Christy in an effort to film their investigation, hoping to unravel the mysterious events unfolding in the Shenango Valley. As they spoke with witnesses and experts, a pattern emerged that might help establish what is behind ongoing sightings of werewolves in America’s Heartland.”

Another Small Town Monsters production, this coming on the heels of their The Dogman Triangle: Werewolves in the Lone Star State (June, 2023). Talk about milking the lycanthrope. (Try getting THAT visual out of your head.)

AWARENESS / October 11, 2023 (Amazon Prime™)

“Ian, a rebellious teenager living on the outskirts of society, can manipulate minds with his ability to generate visual illusions. He uses this power to survive running small, indiscreet, scams. When one of his cons goes awry, his abilities publicly spiral out of control and Ian becomes the target of two rival organizations, each seeking to exploit his powers.”

Reminds me of Dreamscape (1984). In that one, Dennis Quaid uses his manipulative abilities at the track. Glad he didn’t waste his gift.

FEAR OF THE WALKING DEAD: THE FINAL EPISODES / October 22, 2023 (AMC+™)

“AMC Networks™ announces the final six episodes of Fear the Walking Dead, beginning Sunday, October 22 at 9pm ET/8c on AMC™ and AMC+™ and concluding on Sunday, November 19 with two back-to-back episodes. In Season 8 Morgan, Madison and the others they brought to the island are living under Padre’s cynical rule. With our characters demoralized and dejected, the task of reigniting belief in a better world rests with the person Morgan and Madison set out to rescue in the first place — Morgan’s daughter, Mo.”

Cheers for them for making it this long. The Walking Dead: World Beyond (2020/2021) only made it two seasons. If you saw the first episode, cheers to you for making it through the entire excruciating 45 minutes. Why? High schoolers. They failed because zombies ate their homework. And everything else.