Archive for gore

Free-Range Zombies

Posted in Classic Horror, Nature Gone Wild, Science Fiction, Zombies with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on February 23, 2018 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Survival of the Dead

Plum Island, off the coast of Delaware, is so named due to its plentiful plums, as well as having sweeping ocean views, beautiful Autumn foliage and free-range zombies.

Survival of the Dead

Feuding immigrants have turned P.I. into a refuge from the zombie takeover, and are actually doing pretty good, as long as those thievin’ O’Flynns stay off the half of the island marked by those sweater-wearin’ Muldoons. Both sides are p*ssed off at each other for some reason or another relating to pride, but that’s not what you paid to see. You want the undead peeling the skin off human necks, like they were eating a blood orange.

Survival of the Dead

Patrick O’Flynn, a cantankerous old fart, was ousted from the island, where Seamus Muldoon now holds dictatorship. With a name like that, you can bet he’s a well-respected Irishman.

Survival of the Dead

Some rag tag military guys and a teen make it to the island with the help of Patrick, who chews up his lines like a zombie eating some Irish neck stew. The plan is to overthrow Seamus, re-establish the island as a sanctuary for everyone left living (something Seamus didn’t cotton to), and live like hell ass damn kings.

Survival of the Dead

Due to the zombie encroachment and the eating of Irish throats, a tentative truce is established so that everyone left standing can eradicate the zombie infestation. Yeah, a truce between Irish clans — that’ll hold. Survival of the Dead

O’Flynn’s hottie daughter gets bitten and zombifies, and spends her days riding around the island on a horse. She looks kinda zombie-cool, but for the most part, no new ground-breaking undead face rot. In fact, the dead look a little on the amateurish side.

Survival of the Dead

The flesh-feast gore in Survival of the Dead (2010) is explicit, but nothing we haven’t tasted before. Most of the story revolves around the human conflict, with zombies thrown in for zest.

Survival of the Dead

There is something new this time, however. An experiment to teach zombies to eat animals is working. (You know that horse I mentioned?) So maybe a truce between the O’Flynns and Muldoons and zombies is possible after all. Between those left not shot in the face, eaten by zombies, or made into plum fertilizer, that is.

Melting Faces On The Rocks

Posted in Misc. Horror, Science Fiction with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on February 18, 2018 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Street Trash

What’s worse — drinking wine and watching your flesh literally turn into hot pudding, or your joystick falling off and a bunch of junkyard hobos playing keep away with it? If you’re a guy, I already know your answer.

Street Trash

All of this and more happens in the cult comedy horror classic, Street Trash (1987). This movie, about alcohol that melts you, people living in city dumps and some of the most stinkiest sex you’ll ever hope to not have, has this and more.

Street Trash

Brooklyn, New York. A liquor store owner finds a 60 year-old case of wine called Tenafly Viper. (Who wouldn’t drink that?) His client base is the homeless, so sit back and watch the crumpled bills flow like bum honey.

Street Trash

Within two seconds of consuming said Viper wine, your flesh liquifies, turns into a carnival of colors, and your drinking problem is solved forever. A frantic cop tries to solve the deaths, all the while a mentally unplugged Vietnam veteran, also living in the junkyard (I hear rents are quite affordable there), has formed a gang of junk thugs to rule the rubbish.

Street Trash

While it’s a face-pinching moment to see dumpster dames engage in garbage sex (I hear flies and maggots are aphrodisiacs in some junkyard countries), it’s when a hobo’s flesh flute falls off (not pictured — I just can’t), and people start throwing it around like a deflated Nathan’s Ballpark Frank™, that’ll have you questioning your taste in movies. (I’m exempt because I’m mentally unplugged.)

Insane, yet colorful gore. Melting hobos. Booze aplenty. Any questions?

Mutual Mutilation

Posted in Asian Horror, Foreign Horror with tags , , , , , , , on January 31, 2018 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Black House

Here’s a fun and educational thing to do: watch an insurance adjuster process fraudulent claims! (OK, I’m being a smidge douche-y here, but work with me.) Jeon Jun-oh is an insurance investigator who checks out people who kill their own family members for cash. That’s probably not a cool thing to do.

Black House

Once such guy is filing a claim on behalf of his son’s suicide. The police won’t help Jeon prove it was a murder for some silly reason. And the movie drags on and on. Then something horribly fun happens. Arms are put under industrial paper cutters. Eyes and mouths are stitched up without anesthetic. Stabbings occur to the stomach area. Keys get plunged into eyeballs. Black House (aka, Geomeun jip/2007) is way dull until the last ten minutes, then all holy WTF breaks loose.

Black House

The weird guy whom Jeon thought was trying to collect the insurance money was actually acting weird for a reason: someone cut off his arms! No more pouring your own cereal. Jeon’s girlfriend gets abducted because he’s too close to THE TRUTH. A quick search leads him to a veritable human slaughter house that’d give the guy in Saw (2004) a warm fuzzy feeling in his tummy.

Black House

The plot is sluggish (made even more tedious with the Korean sub-titles) and stretching things. (People killing people for insurance money? Come on — that stuff doesn’t happen in real life.) But the ending sequence is deliciously gruesome with body parts laying around like festive decorations and such. And I mean that in a delightful way.

Toxic Zombies

Posted in Asian Horror, Asian Sci-Fi, Classic Horror, Foreign Horror, Science Fiction, Zombies with tags , , , , , , , , , , on January 2, 2018 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Bio-Zombie

Woody and Bee, two loudmouth punks, work in the mall. Swearing, yelling, stealing. You couldn’t be more punk-y than these two. While on an errand, they run over a military guy carrying a soda bottle filled with a chemical agent that can make you a corpse, then come back to life and eat flesh. In this country, we have strict rules about dead reanimating ingredient listings on our products.

Bio-ZombieThey put the guy in a car  trunk after giving him some soda to drink and head back to the mall. Of course he dies, comes back to life, gets out, bites someone and starts the endless cycle of the undead eat-a-thon on the living. Mostly played as slapstick, the zombies aren’t particularly threatening, nor are they shown putting anything in their mouths that might’ve been attached to someone else.

Bio-Zombie

As the six uninfected teens try to get out of the mall, their numbers are subtracted as they fall prey to the zombies. In a hard down-shift, Bio-Zombie (1998) suddenly gets serious at the end. What was the point in that?

Bio-Zombie

Hardly any gore worth blogging about, a mortal hell no for a zombie movie. The Japanese should leave the undead to we Americans as we’re not afraid to eat human fleshy stuff. In fact, I’m having some right now as we speak. Tastes like a California roll, but a bit more chewy.

Bavarian Vampire

Posted in Classic Horror, Foreign Horror with tags , , , , , , , , , , , on December 31, 2017 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Bloodlust: The Vampire of Nuremberg

In the based-on-a-true-story Bloodlust: The Vampire of Nuremberg (1977), a family-beaten, deaf and dumb guy who witnessed his sister being molested by Father Knows Best (or “Pastor Bedtime”), grows up to discover he has a penchant for watching women have sex with each other and sucking the embalmed gunk out of the throats of dead chicks (not in this order). Fortunately, for him, the local mortuary is overstocked with corpses of attractive young gals.

Bloodlust: The Vampire of NurembergCalling himself “Mosquito” (cute), he cuts open their boobs, slices off their heads with a pocketknife (!), pops out their eyes, and does near text-book tom-ghoulery in his quest for bloody goodness. He eventually goes after the living and takes out a horny couple trying to bust a move (how rude).

Bloodlust: The Vampire of Nuremberg

The pacing is slow, the nudity plentiful, the gore explicit. In an homage to Bloodsucking Freaks (1976), try and stomach (if you can) the graphic scenes of a two-pronged straw being used to sip delicious Neck Slurpees™. You’ll never drink blood again.

A Monster’s Monster Truck

Posted in Classic Horror, Evil, Witches, Zombies with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 21, 2017 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Monster Man

Two guys head cross country to attend a wedding. One is a wussy, the other a beer-gutted loudmouth. Along the way a truck straight out of Mad Max (1979) attacks and almost kills them in half. They get back at the truck by peeing in the driver’s seat at a gas station. (This is a long set-up and I simply do not have the time to go into detail about it right now.)

Monster Man

Later, they pick up a scorchingly hot chick in fishnets and loose top whose hitchhiking to nowhere. The loudmouth makes his play, but she’s into the nerd and later de-virginizes him. Four times. But the monster truck is back on their trail and smashes their red station wagon into a Texas pancake.

Monster Man

The loudmouth looks like he got killed by the driver whose mutant face appears to be taped together by industrial staples. The hot chick and nerd find a run-down house and in it a corpse who doesn’t have a stomach cavity, yet can still talk.

Monster Man

The nerd discovers it was all an elaborate trap to get him inside the house as the chick is the mutant monster man and talking corpse’s sister. She’s also a witch, whose spells has kept the corpse alive and yappin’ until she could find another body for her brother.

Monster ManMonster Man (2003) is freakin’ funnier than all heckaroo. The loudmouth has a ton of great lines (“Dude, I’m a corpse burrito!”) and the chick (who shows one of her boobs — she has a spare) is dripping with hotness. There’s tons of squishy gore, a couple of pencil jabs to the eyes, a town full of amputees (that plays into the story line and are not there for gratuitous reasons) and talking roadkill. And even though it has pee stains, I totally want to drive Monster Man’s truck. You would, too, if only you’d watch this movie.

Undead Tribute, Get To Know Bigfoot, Death Personified

Posted in Aliens, Bigfoot, Classic Horror, Evil, Foreign Horror, Nature Gone Wild, Science Fiction, Slashers, Zombies with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on September 29, 2017 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

The Walking Dead

As hardcore The Walking Dead fans have burned into their iCalendars™, the 100th episode — and season eight AMC™ opener — happens on Sunday, October 22, 20017. (And you thought the total eclipse was worth watching.)

The Walking Dead

To celebrate/commemorate, TWD episode director/ makeup effects master Greg Nicotero teamed up with his insanity talented KNB FX design team to whip up some tasty tribute posters, all in the style of one of the coolest horror shows ever on TV. Included with the above slick tribute to Alien is zombie/star character homages to Back to the Future, The Thing, Thunderball and The Omega Man. Pretty swear word cool. (You can find them all by following Greg on Instagram™.)

As the countdown to The Walking Dead marches on, here are a few just released/upcoming horror/sci-fi movies that probably stole their ideas from all of the above…

Zombies

ZOMBIES (available now/VOD/Limited – October 31, 2017/DVD)
“When the world is in shambles, plagued by a zombie outbreak, only the strong will survive, but just how much determination will it take? Will Luke and his crew have enough ambition and ammunition to outlive the undead?”

The title and plot should tell you how high they set the bar for themselves. This is so stock, it should be sold in grocery stores next to canned soup and frozen TV dinners.

Death On Scenic Drive

DEATH ON SCENIC DRIVE (September 30, 3017/Hard Line Film Festival/Germany)
“During the cold winter months at a secluded countryside home, a young woman named Larissa encounters an entity that transforms her into Death itself. She reins violence against Dallas Henson and the family that resides there.”

Not sure why this one is being premiered in Germany when it’s Canadian-made. Bloody-Disgusting.com says Death On Scenic Drive is a “Gothic filled with gore, madness, weirdness, satanism and screeching, squelching music.” Sounds just like my upstairs neighbors on any given week night.

Discovering Bigfoot

DISCOVERING BIGFOOT (October 27, 2017/VOD/Limited)
“What we think we know of human origins and evolution is about to change forever as we discover the truth about a species that has remained elusive by outwitting and evading modern man for decades despite his best efforts. Journey into the heart of Sasquatch Country and experience three incredible days in the field with Bigfoot experts. This unprecedented feature film includes extraordinary never before seen Sasquatch footage that will shock the world. Witness a terrifying altercation between Sasquatch Researcher Todd Standing and three Sasquatch creatures in the wild.”

The trailer for this documentary purports to show “indisputable” photographic/video evidence of Bigfoot, and even go so far as to include a few snippets of said proof. I’m convinced — and you’re talkin’ to a guy who stands in line at the Puyallup Fair to get an autograph and a picture with a guy in a Bigfoot suit handing out hot tub clearance sale flyers. Say what you will about the mythical wood ape — that guy can sell ice cubes to an eskimo.

The Purge: Island

THE PURGE: ISLAND (July 4, 2018)
The Purge: Island is a prequel that will focus on the events that lead up to the very first Purge event, an experimental test on Staten Island.”

Cool, but I can’t wait for The Purge: Outer Space. In that one we get carte blanche to go all probe-y on those invasive aliens. They won’t know what violated their swimsuit/spacesuit area. Payback’s a b*tch, space b*tches — ha!