Archive for Abominable Snowman

How Abominable Is This Snow, Man?

Posted in Asian Horror, Asian Sci-Fi, Foreign Horror, Giant Monsters, Nature Gone Wild, Science Fiction, Sharks with tags , , , on September 18, 2022 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Okay, so yeah — I stopped doing this horror/sci-fi movie blog in June of 2019. Was at it for 10 years to the day. I still, though, pop in every so often to approve/reject comments based on how spam-y they are. Was bored today (September 18, 2022) and thought I’d barf up another post just for S&Gs. Will I keep doing this? Maybe-ish. But in the meantime…

Snow Monster (2019), is the Chinese spin on King Kong, which I believe is in a different language than Chinese. I’ll have to do more research.

Speaking of research, a science team in a lab-equipped Sno-Cat, is doing spin-outs around a remote Arctic wasteland, trying to find out why their readings indicate a geo-thermal event. (Somebody must’ve left the lava lamp on.) What they find, besides enough snow to make one trillion billion cocktail ice cubes, is a Yeti with ram horns, or rather one horn as the other looks broken off as if lost in a bar fight.

But this Yeti is 100 feet tall, give or take a few inches. And he eats size-proportionate ice sharks that, get this, swim in ice! WTF? These sharks leap out of the tundra and feast on humans in one big gulp, clothes and all, thereby turning them into (wait for it)…frost bites. Heh.

But the science team gets knocked a cliff and, for all intents, is f’d in the ice-hole. Apparently, no one prepared for things like a dead battery, getting stuck in the snow and rolling 30 times down a cliff. Dumbasses. So now, whoever is left alive, needs rescuing. (See “f’d in the ice-hole.”)

An Indiana Jones drunk dude is hired to find them. He’d rather fight and drink. That is, until he finds out his attractive but cold-as-ice ex is the leader of the science team, so he agrees to lead the recovery team. After he finishes his drink, of course.

Driving a bunch of gun-enhanced teammates up in the hills of China, they find a spooky temple, fall into a black hole, son, and get beaked by prehistoric seagulls. Talk about your peckers of doom. A grenade-type explosion opens a portal to the Arctic, where they literally trip over the wreckage of the science team. It should be noted a clan of snow natives living in caves saved them first. And they’re all dressed like they’re going to spring break in Peoria, IL. (What’s with the mascara and lipstick on the decidedly hot Elder chick? At what Antarctic 7-Eleven™ did she buy that stuff?)

The Elder chick can communicate with Mr. Iced To Meet You and introduces it to their “guests.” I figured he’d just eat ‘em, burp vociferously, and be on his merry way. But no, dang it. And if you didn’t see this coming, the financier of the expedition also found the transportal hole and has showed up with guns and RPGs to capture the Sir Fuzz Fuzz in order to exploit for profit and possibly cash.

Epic snowball fight ensues. Lots of natives and evil guys get aerated by ammunition. But not before two fighter jets come through The Hole and immobilize the Froster in some sort of freeze ray. While this is going on, everybody is still kung-fu fighting (not a racist comment — they were actually doing martial arts). Odd, though, no steam — or “Iced Chi” — was coming out mouths, despite sub-zero temps. The least believable part of the movie.

In conclusion, Snow Monster is for low expectation fans of Kaiju movies, barely bloody, punchy (heh) fight sequences, and snow babes. And hey, the massive creature looks 100% tameable.

P.S. You can watch this free on YouTube

P.P.S. Stay through the credits.

Spaghetti Made Yeti

Posted in Bigfoot, Classic Horror, Foreign Horror, Giant Monsters, Nature Gone Wild, Science Fiction, Scream Queens with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on October 17, 2015 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Snow Creature

Missing link movies got their start with Snow Creature in 1954. I wasn’t hatched yet, so had to wait quite a few years as DNA, then even more as an upright primate to see it. It was worth the wait as it turned me into a life-long fan of hairy creature movies.

Snapshots of Bigfoot

Since then there have been hundreds of movies or “films”, short films or “movies”, cameos, TV shows and endless documentaries about the Abominable Snowman/Yeti/ Bigfoot/Sasquatch, from the wretched (Shriek of the Mutilated/1974) and wacky (Six Million Dollar Man: The Return of Bigfoot Parts 1&2/1976), to the wistful (Letters from the Big Man /2011) and wild (Schlock/1973).

Yeti: The Giant of the 20th Century

One of the more mind-boggling Bigfoot type movies ever is Yeti: The Giant of the 20th Century (aka, Yeti – il gigante del 20. secolo), made in Italy in 1977. In this one a several story tall missing link is discovered encased in a huge block of ice and transported back to civilization – or “Toronto” – in the biggest telephone booth in the world, chained to helicopters. (Note to younger readers: the telephone booth was a sort of “sidewalk cellphone” you had to put physical money in to use.)

Yeti: The Giant of the 20th Century

Taking his cue from King Kong, the monster dries off, breaks loose, grabs a chick, and goes all caveman on the town. This is caused in part by Jane, the only person who can communicate with the brute (she does this by talking s-l-o-w-l-y). She causes his fuzzy bikini area to get all fluffed up like his hair. With logically no chance of scoring, the only thing to do now is dismantle the city.

Yeti: The Giant of the 20th Century

I could tell you what happens to Yeti/Toronto, but then you might not watch what could be the best – or worst – movie experience of your entire life. I’ll advise everyone to see Yeti: The Giant of the 20th Century, because it’s not that often a film will leave you with your mouth hanging open.

Yeti: The Giant of the 20th Century

The Abominable Snowman Is A Bear? Seriously?

Posted in Bigfoot, Giant Monsters, Science Fiction with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , on October 18, 2013 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Abominable Snowman

This sucks AND blows.

A human ancestry scientist is all over the news, bragging his credentials off by telling the world he can prove the Abominable Snowman was/is really a bear. That’s just dandy; he has no proof other than supposition, whereas arguments to the contrary include tons of movies, books, cartoons, blurry YouTube™ videos, novelty T-shirts, toys, shampoo bottles and even themed hamburgers to refute his refution. Clearly, this man is a quack.

Abominable Snowman

So NBC.com reports that after a yearlong quest, “Oxford University’s Bryan Sykes, a British geneticist, says he has matched the DNA from hairs attributed to Himalayan Yetis, also known as “Abominable Snowmen,” to a breed of Arctic bear that lived tens of thousands of years ago. Other researchers say that might be as good an explanation as any.”

Abominable Snowman

Are you kidding me? What’s to explain – one billion Himalayans will swear upon a stack of handmade rugs that the creature roaming the region of Nepal and Tibet is a super tall ape-like cryptid that lives off highly nutritious snow, indigenous to that part of the world. And the key word here is “ape-like.” Not “bear-like” or even “bear-esque.”

So what does all of this prove? That a degree from Oxford University isn’t worth the handmade rug it’s printed on.