Archive for the Asian Sci-Fi Category

Undead Ale, God Powers, Drug Bugs

Posted in Asian Horror, Asian Sci-Fi, demons, Evil, Foreign Horror, Nature Gone Wild, Science Fiction, Zombies with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on January 19, 2023 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Just when you think drinking couldn’t get any more fun, Zombeer™, brewed in Russia, is bottled with uniquely clever packaging: a three-layered sticker label that, when scratched, creates a whole new design with alternate zombies. As the sales sheet instructs, “Tear your human casing apart leave human worries behind and become a zombie.” Awesomely awesome. But if I’m drinking beer, that means I already left my human worries behind.

From brewery’s press release: “Zombeer™ is brewed by small Moscow brewery Solod™ in the Belgian style and has a high density and strength. Enjoy a complex taste of malt sweetness with a hint of caramel, chocolate and dried fruits. Fermented in a bottle.” The irony here is, when you drink beer, YOU become fermented.

While I wait for a case of it to be shipped to me (only set me back 34376.07 Rubles), here are a few out now/upcoming horror movies that may or may not make you feel like scratching your face off…

ISLAND / Out now (Amazon Prime™)

Evil took its first step to destroy the world. On the mysterious Jeju Island, the gateway to this, Van is a mix of human and monster. Won Mi-ho is the center of fate. And Johan is exercises God’s power. The all come together in this strange, yet captivating, action-packed exorcism fantasy, in which they fight evil, sharing the fate of saving the world — and to defy their own.”

Hard top pick which super power I’d want. Since I’m already a mix tape of human and monster, it’d be cool to be the center of fate, if only to wield as a bar trick. Having God’s power means you get to live in the sky and make people give you money in order to worship you. And you wouldn’t even need a Stargate to get around town. I’ll go with that one.  

BIRDEMIC 3: SEA EAGLE / January 24, 2023 (VOD)

“When global warming triggers chaos along the Northern California coast, two scientific researchers will discover tender romance, appalling CGI, automatic weapons, and attacks by sea eagles that could lead to the extinction of life on Earth.”

There is no place for romance in a world under attack by sea eagles using their beaks of doom to cause global extinction. Quit being love birds and let the grisly gulls bestow an epic party fowl on humanity.

WOMAN OF THE PHOTOGRAPHS / February 7, 2023 (VOD)

“Kai, a solitary and skilled digital photographer, begins a twisted romance with a model suffering from body dysmorphia and obsessed with appearing perfect in her photos.”

Dysmorphia is defined as having mental disorder characterized by the “obsessive idea that some aspect of one’s own body part or appearance is severely flawed and therefore warrants exceptional measures to hide or fix it.” No wonder women buy so much makeup.

SWALLOWED / February 14, 2023 (VOD)

“After a drug run goes bad, two friends must survive a nightmarish ordeal of drugs, bugs and horrific intimacy in this backwoods body-horror thriller.”

Just say no to bugs.

Classic Horror Reimagined, Hot-Rodded Earth, Murder Church

Posted in Asian Sci-Fi, Classic Horror, Evil, Fantasy, Misc. Horror, paranormal, Science Fiction with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on January 13, 2023 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Phil Postma is freelance designer living in Ottawa, Ontario, Canada. You may have heard of that place. But you may not have heard about Phil, who is distinctively one of the more unique illustrators/animators on the face of Planet Canadia.

His character reimagining of classic Universal monster movie ad sheets is nothing short of ingenious. Dracula, The Wolf-Man, The Bride of Frankenstein, Creature From The Black Lagoon, The Mummy, The Hunchback of Notre Dame, The Invisible Man… And Phil doesn’t stop there. He’s designed a colorful and killer line of horror/sci-fi movie graphic t-shirts. If you go to Phil’s blogspot (right here), plan on happily spending a lot of time/money perusing the seemingly endless designs, art and and products. And yes, I’ll be showcasing more of his work on this very blog-o-sphere.  

From Phil’s Minion Factory website: “I have been a character designer for over 20 years in TV animation. My work can be seen on such shows as Flash Gordon, The Mask: Animated Series, The Ripping Friends, Freaky Stories, Undergrads, King, Gerald McBoing Boing, World of Quest, and The Cat In The Hat Knows A Lot About That. I Currently do freelance design on various projects.”

While you throw out all your clothes and replace ‘em with Phil’s monster fashions (click this), here are a few upcoming horror/sci-fi movies that may or may not be allowed in Canada

SNOW ANGEL / January 20, 2023 (VOD)

“In the aftermath of a fatal accident in a snowy village at the eastern tip of Quebec, a screwed-up ex-pro snowboarder decides to pack up her cabin and leave town for good. But someone — or something — seems intent on stopping her.”

The eastern tip of Quebec is within “shreddin’ the gnar” distance of New Brunswick, which I hear is the birthplace of the bowling ball.

THE WANDERING EARTH II / January, 22, 2023 (VOD)

“Humans built huge engines on the surface of the Earth to find a new home. But the road to the Universe is perilous. In order to save Earth, young people once again have to step forward to start a race against time for life and death.”

2019’s The Wandering Earth was a visual knockout punch to the eyeballs, in which overachieving Earthers built giant planet thrusters to move Earth to a new star system. Why? Because the sun was dying. Duh. So if your space car ever breaks down, you wanna get it fixed by these guys.

CONSECRATION / February 10, 2023 (VOD)

“After the suspicious death of her brother, a priest, Grace goes to the Mount Saviour Convent in Scotland to find out what really happened. Once there, she uncovers murder, sacrilege, and a disturbing truth about her own past.”

Murder, sacrilege, disturbing truths… When did church start getting fun?

BENEATH US ALL / Release pending 2023 (VOD)

“ A foster child, Julie is heading for her 18th birthday when she finds something buried with something unspeakable inside.”

Sounds like somebody crept in the crypt, crapped and crept out.

Godzilla Sells Out, Kissable Demon Hunter, Earth vs. Hell

Posted in Aliens, Asian Horror, Asian Sci-Fi, Classic Horror, demons, Evil, Fantasy, Foreign Horror, Giant Monsters, Godzilla, paranormal, Science Fiction, Vampires, Werewolves with tags , , , , , , , , , , , on January 8, 2023 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

You snooze, you lose. That’s the sum yield of one’s non-diligence when shopping on the MondoShop.com website, containing one-of-a-kind original horror/sci-fi/movie art designed by some of the best illustrators in every zip code. No sooner than Mondo posts the art, they’ve sold out within minutes. If you’re an impulse-buyer, timing is everything.

Poster art of Godzilla, Wolf-Man, Bride of Frankenstein, A Nightmare on Elm Street, Alien, Dracula, Phantom of the Opera, Mummy, RoboCop, Dirty Harry (when you think about it, RoboCop and Dirty Harry are kinda the same thing)… The list goes on and on and shopping for ‘em MondoShop.com is a frustrating experience because all the art is immediately sold out. You’ll need to drink an adult beverage to placate your inner shopper.

But there’s a solution — sign up for their free newsletter, which tells you exactly what the upcoming art is and when it goes on sale. All are surprisingly affordable for being limited edition ($50 — $400). And know that Mondo sells more than posters — there’s limited edition curated horror movie soundtrack colored vinyl albums, toys, puzzles, CDs, board games, books, tiki mugs and more. But unless you visit their website EVERY DAY, you can’t get in on this action unless you sign up for a heads up. Do that here.

While you’re drowning your sorrow in refreshing adult beverages for missing out on the She-Ra 1/6 Scale Figure, here are a few out now/up and coming horror/sci-fi/fantasy movies that may or may not sell or sell out… 

THE DEMON HUNTER’S ROMANCE / Out now (iQIYI)

“In the prosperous city of Guangping, humans and demons coexist. Demons are skilled at disguising themselves as humans. Ban Xia the daughter of a wealthy family, has a pair of strange eyes and can often see the shadows of those who are not there. Ban Xia reveals her cousin’s sister-in-law is a demon, which led her to be hunted down by demon-hunter, Xuan Ye. The gentle kiss he gives to Ban Xia made her thoroughly see the world where humans and demons coexist.”

Nobody likes a snitch.

LOCKDOWN TOWER / February 8, 2023 (France), 2023/2024 (US)

“The inhabitants of a tower block wake up one morning to find a black veil shrouding all the windows and doors of the building — a veil which devours anything and anyone who tries to go through it. Stuck inside together families organize themselves, but time passes and nothing changes. They gradually return to their most primitive instincts and now respond to a single watchword: survival.”

Did they film a movie about my apartment building without me knowing it?

THEY WAIT IN THE DARK / February 10, 2023 (VOD)

“Amy, a young woman is on the run with her young son Adrian from her abusive ex-girlfriend. When the past rises up to haunt them, they must confront the forces threatening them from both outside and in.”

Another bland movie with a bland plot and bland description. None of what they’re describing compels one to invest valuable couch time to watch it. They can keep waiting in the dark.

THORNS / Release pending 2023 (VOD)

“An ex-priest working for NASA is sent to investigate a remote observatory that went silent after receiving a radio signal from deep space. Upon arrival, he discovers the signal has set in motion the biblical end of times. The former priest must now summon his lost faith to stop the signal from spreading hell on Earth.”

Jesus on his ham radio again, punking the godless Universe.

Peculiar Treasures, Millions of Zombies, Ancient Peanut Butter

Posted in Aliens, Asian Horror, Asian Sci-Fi, Bigfoot, Evil, Foreign Horror, Slashers, Zombies with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , on January 3, 2023 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

One of the ongoing tragedies of life is when you absolutely need a 3D Bat Air Freshener or Bigfoot Finger Feet or an essential Zombie Threat Level refrigerator magnet, and can’t find ’em anywhere. Calm your inner turmoil and just go to Portland, Oregon’s FreakyButTrue Peculiarium, a wonderland of all things tremendously useful weird and fun. Here’s their website if you think I’m making up all of this stuff.

Located at 2234 NW Thurman St., Portland, OR, the Peculiarium is similar to Archie McFee™ but goes even deeper into the mind-spinning novelty merch abyss. Alien art prints, Sasquatch devotional candles, giant lobster claws, Mothman shirts… So yeah, plan on spending at least three month’s wages there.

While we rent a U-Haul™ truck and go on a FreakyButTrue Peculiarium shopping run, here are a few upcoming horror and sci-fi movies that may or may not be as irresistible as FBTP’s Jekyll & Hyde holiday ornaments… 

GANGNAM ZOMBIE / January 5, 2023 (VOD)

“Citizens from an area of Seoul start experiencing unusual and terrifying symptoms, devolving into inhuman creatures, leaving only a few survivors with the possibility to make it out alive.”

According to this little thing called the Internet (you may have heard of it), Seoul has a population of 9.9 million people. If you wanna see zombies, that’s the place to go. Just take the train to Busan. (You got that joke, right?)

TOXICA / Release pending 2023 (VOD)

“An injured stunt woman is infected by an ancient biological compound when a side job as a PI goes wrong.”

I bought a jar of ancient biological compound at the store the other day. It may look like peanut butter, but it’s way more addictive and has only half the saturated fat. We’re talkin’ some serious sandwich fixins.

IMMERSION / Release pending 2023 (VOD)

Mysterious deaths befall on employees of a VR-tech company. There’s an unprecedented fear waiting between reality and the virtual world.”

Unprecedented fear waiting between reality and the virtual world. Where I live, that’s called Happy Hour.

NIGHTMARE AT PRECINCT 84 / Release pending 2023 (Theaters/VOD)

“On a stormy night on Christmas Eve, a small town female sheriff who secretly is a serial killer gets a visit from a mysterious woman who tells four bizarre stories. The first is about a small boy who has a terrifying encounter with the local ice cream truck. The second is about a young girl who takes up a phone sex operator job to pass the time, but a certain caller has other intentions. The third is about two women who discover the strange reality behind a tiny town they are trapped in and the fourth is about a man who makes a promise with haunting repercussions.”

A sheriff is a serial killer? Then she’s obligated to arrest herself or kill herself. Probably should do both.

Hometown Haunts, Prime Time Exorcism, Robot Mom

Posted in Asian Horror, Asian Sci-Fi, Evil, Fantasy, Foreign Horror, Ghosts, Misc. Horror, paranormal, Science Fiction, Witches with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 29, 2022 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Does your town have a haunted house/hotel/7-Eleven™? If it did, would you know how to find it? Now you can with Fright Find, a website with a comprehensive database of every real haunted house/hotel/7-Eleven™ in every state. It’s like one-stop shopping for ghost groupies

From Fright Find’s website: “Every state has its own eerie haunted history. From the Salem Witch Hunts to the Ghosts of the Alamo, each state’s history goes back hundreds, if not thousands, of years. However, there are no boundaries on the afterlife. To help you find haunts in your state, we’ve organized these real haunted houses, places, and haunted attractions so that you can start your phantom hunt. Curious to know your state’s haunted history? Want to find the most haunted place in your state? Start your Fright Find right here…”

According to their stats, Florida is the most haunted state with 127 listings. The District of Columbia clocks in with a non-tourist generating seven haunts. I drink in Washington State and Fright Find says we have a respectable 73 haunted listings. In your face, every state with 72 or less.

While you go through Fright Find’s documentation of all the scary stuff in your state, here are a few out now/upcoming horror/sci-fi movies that may or may not put you in a scary state…

CRAZY CROCODILE / Out now (YouTube™)

“Food host Xiaoyu is tricked into participating in a survival reality show, along with a group of other people who all have their own reasons to participate. Everyone strays into the forbidden area in the wild and they are attacked by mutant crocodiles.”

The irony of a food host becoming food for the mutant crocodiles is…delicious.

KKN DI DESA PENARI: LUWIH DOWO, LUWIH MEDINI / December 29, 2022 (VOD)

“A Javanese proverb expressed by Widya’s mother just before she left for KKN. A sign that there was something in the village at the far east. Widya, Nur, Ayu, Bima, Anton and Wahyu never thought that their KKN activities would lead to disaster.”

The movie’s weird and unpronounceable title translates to KKN in Dancer Village: Longer, Scarier. Yeah, no — didn’t help. I think there’s a dancing snake in this movie.

TRUE HAUNTING / January 6, 2023 (VOD)

“The terrifying true story of the first televised exorcism on NBC in 1971. Millions around the country watched the program that was recorded in Chicago. The NBC news segment was a success, the exorcism was not. Instead, it made things worse for the Becker family who lived there. Much worse.”

All exorcisms should be televised. Can’t be any ickier than watching Dr. Pimple Popper.

JUNG_E / January 20, 2023 (Netflix™)

“In the 22nd century, with Earth no longer habitable due to climate change, war breaks out in the last shelter built for human survival. The only way to end the war hinges on cloning a legendary mercenary into a scalable robot. In a post-apocalyptic near-future, a researcher at an Artificial Intelligence lab leads the effort to end a civil war by cloning the brain of a heroic soldier — her mother.”

It’d be cool to have a robot mom. I don’t know why. Just seems like she’d be better than non-robotic moms.

Unwelcome Aliens, Bigfoot Byname, Clown Killing Clown

Posted in Aliens, Asian Horror, Asian Sci-Fi, Evil, Fantasy, Foreign Horror, Science Fiction, UFOs with tags , , , , , , , , , , on December 27, 2022 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

When you look around your house/apartment/prison cell, what’s the first thing that comes to mind? The answer, of course is, “I sure could use a vinyl banner to liven up the place.” And really, there’s no downside to covering your bland walls with vinyl — they’re stain-resistant (mostly), easily cleaned (if that’s your thing) and will last longer than you. The folks HorrorDecor.com can make your decorating dreams come true with stylish and affordable vinyl horror banners.

Designed by Burnzig, these banners come in five choices: The Human Pin Cushion, The Forever Twins, Master of Knives and The Living Doll, cleverly recasting horror movie icons as old time-y carnival sideshow attractions. (That’s what came up on my job aptitude test.)

Each banner is $40.00 and measures 24” 30”. They come with silver colored metal grommets on all corners and can be used indoors or outdoors. I wouldn’t recommend outdoors as a stink criminal might steal it to garnish his/her inevitable prison cell.

While you’re taking down those worthless family photos to make way for these banners, here are a few out now/upcoming horror/sci-fi movies that may or may not brighten your living area…

BATTLEFIELD: FALL OF THE WORLD (aka ALIEN MONSTER INVASION) / Out now (Tubi™)

“A mysterious alien civilization’s military aircraft arrives on Earth. In order to resist the alien invasion, the military forces of various countries put politics and nationalism aside and join forces. Cheng Ling, who was struggling to survive in the ruins of the apocalypse, is inspired by this spirit and resolutely accepted the task of the defense commander, forming a strategic team with other soldiers in an attempt to destroy the alien attackers.”

I say let the aliens take over and leave them to clean up this toilet of a planet.

TAHOE JOE / Out now (Wicked Horror TV™)

“In 2022, filmmaker Dillon Brown set out with Green Beret and wilderness survival expert, Michael Rock, to document an attempt to find a missing person. What they found instead was a horror thought to be a myth.”

Tahoe Joe is another nickname for Bigfoot. Sounds like Vegas poker player’s name or that pension drunk with three teeth who sits at the end of the bar at the Tug Tavern and talks to himself.

THE LEGEND OF THE DARK CLOWN / Out now (Amazon Prime Video™)

Jitters is a recent graduate with high hopes to one day be a birthday clown who entertains kids. When he cannot afford to pay back his student loans from clown college, he takes the only job available to a young inexperienced clown. He embarks on a life of crime when joins the Killer Clown Mafia. It’s blood in and blood out so once he kills for his crew, he has no way to leave without being murdered himself. He makes the decision to take out every evil clown in the entire city and goes on a massive killing spree in hopes to be free to become what he always wanted – a clown who entertains kids. In his desire to live his dream, he creates a nightmare and becomes a legend. He is an evil clown that kills other evil clowns.”

An evil clown that kills other evil clowns. So what happens after Jitters permanently deletes the entire evil clown population — sillycide

THE TOMORROW JOB / Release pending 2023 (Theaters/VOD)

“A team of thieves use a time-travel drug to trade places with their future selves to execute the ultimate heist. When interrupted on a job the team must fix their past mistakes to prevent disastrous consequences. A dynamic mix of genres, The Tomorrow Job is a high-stakes sci-fi action-adventure epic with heart, humor, and fun, and an ode to beloved heist comedies of the past.”

Time travel drugs have been around for a long time — just ask a hippie.

Vile Vision, Ghost Guests, Lethal Lobsters

Posted in Aliens, Asian Horror, Asian Sci-Fi, Bigfoot, Classic Horror, demons, Evil, Fantasy, Foreign Horror, Ghosts, Giant Monsters, Godzilla, Misc. Horror, Nature Gone Wild, paranormal, Science Fiction, Scream Queens, Sharks, Slashers, TV Vixens, UFOs, Vampires, Werewolves, Witches, Zombies with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 26, 2022 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

For horror movies fans there exists a plethora of viewing options, paid and free. If you don’t mind ad-supported horror movies (or just regular movies, which nobody cares about), Tubi™ and YouTube™ beats the competition by far with obscure, DYI, foreign and classic horror offerings. (P.S. Tubi™ is the king of horror/sci-fi with hundreds upon other hundreds of horror flicks you never knew existed.)

Shudder™ is the de facto go to for paid horror viewing, with a sharply curated catalogue and consistent new releases. With plans starting at $4.79 a month, you be a screaming dumbass (okay, maybe not screaming) to not subscribe. Another bountiful horror/sci-fi option, though, is Wicked Horror TV™, a premium streaming service specializing in quality horror films. (Note: ALL horror movies are quality. Except maybe three.) 

Wicked Horror TV™ puts the gore in categorize — horror movies are sorted by decades (1920s to whatever decade we’re in now), countries (Asia, Australia, Europe, South America and whatever country we’re in now), and sub-genres (ghosts, giallo, gothic, paranormal, possession, B-movies, satanic, supernatural, occult, witches, etc.) There’s plenty of ad-supported free horror, but the premium plan taps you for $5.99 a month, though you save thriftily with their billed annually plan of $49.99. Wicked Horror TV™ can be watched (or “viewed”) on things like Fire TV™, Roku™, Apple TV™, Android TV™, Google Play™, and iOS™ mobile devices.

While you close out your horror-bereft Netflix™ account and sign up for Wicked Horror TV™ (click this), here are a few out now/upcoming horror and sci-fi movies/tv series that may or may not be worth paying for — or watching for free…

DEADLY DEALINGS / Out now (YouTube™/VOD)

“A young woman struggles with losing her brother. Her roommate turns her on to a spirit board, and that night she has a dream that she can trade her dream for her brother’s life. The next day when she awakens she learns that it was more than just a dream and she bit off more than she expected.”

Yawn. Sounds more like a spirit bored than a spirit board.

THE GHOSTS OF MONDAY / January 23, 2023 (VOD/DVD)

“A television director becomes embroiled in a supernatural conspiracy after traveling to Cyprus to make a TV pilot about a haunted hotel.”

Cyprus is an island country located south of the Anatolian Peninsula in the eastern Mediterranean Sea. Seems like a long way to go to document hotel haunters. Try the “ghosts only” Overlook Hotel in the nearby country of Colorado.

THE SWARM / Release pending 2023 (Streaming TV subscription)

“A global environmental thriller, The Swarm is set in a present day where anomalies and unnatural behavior in marine animals are causing upheaval all over the world. Millions of strange worms suddenly appear on the bottom of the North Sea, drilling their way through frozen methane, threatening to destabilize the entire continental shelf. Swarms of mussels stop large vessels from maneuvering. Toxic jellyfish, lobsters and whales start attacking human beings along the coasts of the world. It follows a global group of scientists and military who come together to tackle one of the biggest challenges mankind has ever faced. They make the chilling discovery that we are not the only intelligent species on this planet — and that deep down at the bottom of the sea resides a collective intelligence which has suffered the ravages of civilization on its habitat and decided to fight back.”

Strange worms, toxic jellyfish, swarms of mussels…sounds like the Seafarer’s Feast™ at Red Lobster™.

NEW FEAR’S EVE / Release pending 2023 (VOD)

“As the coming year approaches, three friends reluctantly prepare for Hooper Industries’ annual New Year’s Eve bash. The clock ticks down and the body count rises as a psychotic murderer known as The Doctor is on the loose. This sadistic surgeon of death leaves Owensboro covered in blood as local police and FBI are forced to navigate through a maze of bodies left in his wake.”

I liked this better when it was called New Year’s Evil (1980).

Frightful Voices, Shark Cravings, Shiny Giants

Posted in Aliens, Asian Horror, Asian Sci-Fi, demons, Evil, Fantasy, Foreign Horror, Giant Monsters, paranormal, Science Fiction, Sharks, Vampires with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 25, 2022 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

One of the better and hammy fun vampire movies of the ‘80s is Fright Night (1985), wherein a stylish, manscaped vampire moves next door to Charley Brewster, a teen a horror movie fan, who discovers his new neighbor’s penchant for sucking down neck Slurpees™. Charley enlists the help of local TV horror movie host/vampire hunter Peter Vincent (played by Planet of the Apes’ Cornelius), to expose his neighbor’s vampiric activities. The wild stuff that happens from there (sorry, no spoilers) cemented Fright Night’s cult status among horror fans, and was even remade in 2011.

Chris Sarandon, who played Jerry Dandrige, Fright Night’s the lethally smooth vampire, also starred as police detective Mike Norris in 1988’s Child’s Play (he was the guy who shot the criminal guy who, before he could die, voodoo’d himself into a plastic doll and became Chucky), and was the voice of Jack Skellington in 1993’s animated “horror” classic, The Nightmare Before Christmas. His work in horror includes 1977’s The Sentinel, 1991’s The Resurrected, Bordello of Blood in 1996, and a cameo in the 2011 Fright Night remake. (P.S. Fright Night 2: New Blood came out 2013, but he wasn’t in it. Neither was I.) And Sir Sarandon recently returned to the FN universe by voicing A. Jack Ulkrich novel Fright Night: Origins in audiobook format. This is fantastic news for people who don’t know how to read. (Hey, I was wet nursed on TV. Quit judging me.)

Here are the particulars: “You think you know the whole story, don’t you? High school isn’t going well for teenage horror fan Charley Brewster, still dealing with the loss of his father, he finds himself in his first serious relationship with the vibrant and beautiful Amy Peterson. If new love wasn’t complicated enough Charley is also failing Trigonometry. Late one night while cramming for a test Charley spies something suspicious in the yard next door, two men carrying what appears.to be a coffin. What’s going on in the old Victorian House and who are Charley’s new neighbors?”

Fright Night: Origins comes in four Amazon Audible™ options: Kindle™ ($1.99), Audiobook ($0.00), hardcover ($32.99) and paperback ($16.99). Pick your poison here. And while you’re reliving the undead, here are a few out now/upcoming horror/sci-fi movies that may or may not be improved by having ’em read to you…

UNDYING / Out now (VOD)

“A tragic car accident puts a woman in a two year coma. She wakes up to find her fiancee is dead and her friends have abandoned her. So she calls on an evil spirit to raise her fiancee from the dead and exact revenge. But revenge always comes with a price.”

Your friends bailed because you were basically a leftover meatloaf for two years. It’s not like they ran out, leaving you to pay the bar tab. And that’s punishable by death by an evil spirit? Geez, some coma patients are so cranky if they don’t get enough — or too much —sleep.

VENUS / Out now (VOD)

“After being caught stealing from her employers, club dancer Lucía seeks shelter with her estranged sister and niece in the Venus, a decrepit apartment complex on the outskirts of Madrid. Soon, Lucía discovers the apartment complex harbors a dark secret threatening to reveal itself after an unexpected solar eclipse.”

I thought all eclipses were solar. They could’ve just said eclipse.

NO SHARK / Out now (Tubi™)

“In this darkly comedic and uniquely angsty journey, twelve vignettes chronicle a young woman’s inner monologue as she visits various NYC beaches in hopes of fulfilling her dream of being eaten by a shark.”

Why is it every gal I meet wants to be eaten by a shark? It’s giving me a complex.

SHIN ULTRAMAN / January 12, 2023 (Fathom™)

“As the threat of giant unidentified lifeforms known as S-Class Species worsens in Japan, a silver giant appears from beyond Earth’s atmosphere.”

As if it needs to be said, the world could use more silver giants wearing shiny tight pants.

Guitar Monster, Tunnel Monster, Space Monster

Posted in Aliens, Asian Horror, Asian Sci-Fi, Foreign Horror, Giant Monsters, paranormal, Science Fiction, UFOs, Zombies with tags , , , , , , , , , , on December 16, 2022 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

If you’re a fan or horror movies and guitars, then you’ll totally want Deathgrips™, a monster/creature hand that’s actually a guitar wall hanger. And if you don’t have a guitar, you can hang other things on ‘em, like rubber bands, a clean bathing suit or leftover spaghetti. But mostly guitars.

The downright cool guitar hangars are designed by Gabe Escamilla and available on his Etsy™ store, the world’s largest garage sale: “Deathgrips™ are wall-mounted monster hand hangers designed to hang guitars and a variety of other items…wherever you need a hand.” 

“Original creature designs are sculpted with intricate detail and scaled to life-size. Each one is individually resin-cast in custom molds that leave no parting lines. Special-effects painting techniques are applied to hand-painted versions: shadows, blood, custom fur application… They can hold most acoustic, electric and heavy bass guitars. Also violins and ukes! Guitar hanging area is coated with a thin layer of clear rubber to add a protective cushion.”

Prices for the cleverly-titled, fully-painted hangars are a bit lofty (most expensive: 148.87£ = $184.09 US), but you can get unfinished versions for $72.59 and colorize to your liking. But c’mon — you know your life won’t be complete without at least five of ‘em.

While go to the store and buy YET ANOTHER guitar to hang on the wall, here are a few upcoming horror/sci-fi movies that may or may not complete your life…

CIRCLE LINE / January 5, 2023 (Theaters/Singapore)

“Trapped in the underground train tunnel system, a single mother’s resolve to protect her son is tested to the extreme as both of them are the few remaining survivors of an attack by a monster. Meanwhile in the control room, duty engineers fight desperately to rescue the trapped survivors.”

Of course mutant lizard/rat hybrid monster is underground. Where else his it gonna live — besides in my neighborhood?

ALIVE / January 31, 2023 (VOD)

“Helen navigates a ravaged world with her boyfriend Kevin and her little brother Barney. Desperate to find help after Barney’s infection slowly turns him into a zombie, they come upon a house where lives Dan, a man harboring a heavy secret.”

I know Dan’s secret — he’s got a really bad cold…and doesn’t care who he passes it onto, thereby infecting everybody within sneezing range. Dan is a dick.

SPACE MONSTER MANGWAGWI / January 2023 (Blu-ray)

Aliens from another world seeking the conquest of Earth invade with flying saucers. They unleash a gigantic monster called Wangmagwi, that destroys everything in its path. The Air Force, led by ace pilot Oh Jeong-hwan, is dispatched, but can do little in such still heavily-populated areas. Wangmagwi deploys a powerful death ray, melting entire buildings, forcing Oh Jeong-hwan to finally take action. But will he be able to stop the titanic behemoth once and for all?”

South Korea’s Space Monster Wangmagwi came out in 1967 and was thought to be lost after the fact. Now its finally un-lost and being made available on physical media for the first time in the history of television, which I’m pretty sure wasn’t even invented until 1970. Regardless, technology to the rescue once again.

THE UFO MOVIE THEY DON’T WANT YOU TO SEE / Release pending 2023 (VOD)

“A documentary showing the real science behind today’s UFO phenomenon. Why are they talking about UFOs in Congress? What’s behind all these videos? And most important of all: Are we being visited?”

Not surprisingly, I can easily answer all these questions. 1. Why are people in Congress talking about UFOs? To distract from all their non-accomplishments, political scandals and f’d in the b-hole party extremism. 2. What’s behind all these videos? Someone with a camera. 3. Are we being visited? Yes. And they come bearing cookies.

Terror-ible Drinks, Blissful Bigfoot, Hotel Bed Bugs

Posted in Asian Horror, Asian Sci-Fi, Bigfoot, Foreign Horror, Giant Monsters, Misc. Horror, Nature Gone Wild, Science Fiction with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 12, 2022 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

2 Fingers Social. Sounds like a party for proctologists. If so, pretty funny. But 2 Fingers Social is a bar/restaurant in White Center (aka, Rat City), a quick twerk from West Seattle, the Capitol of Where I Live. And it’s not JUST a bar, but a MOVIE bar.

Sure, any bar can show flicks. But the neighborhood jewel 2 Fingers Social often big screens all manner of horror/sci-fi movies, their tables tops are Hellraiser’s Lament Configuration designs, and they offer savory craft cocktails (i.e., more deluxe than not-craft cocktails), like Suspiria, The Fog and Lestat. Of course they have beer (IPA, Pale, Stout, Porter, Pilsner…but no Budweiser™. Pity. If they only knew how much business they’re losing from ME by not having the King of Beers™.

In addition to all of what was just established (as well as killer promotions augmented by the aforementioned drinkables), you can get hot dogs, tamales, and pizza. (I recommend the face-fulfilling Leather Face and Goblin King pies, because hey, cool names.) And because you need exact GPS coordinates to get there: 2 Fingers Social, 9211 Delridge Way SW, Seattle, WA 98106.

While you use one of your more sociable fingers to hitchhike there, here are a few upcoming horror/sci-fi movies that may or may not be as much fun as a proctologist party

BIGFOOT 2 / Out now (VOD)

“In a primeval forest, a biological researcher and her expedition team played life-and-death games with prehistoric crocodiles and mutant giant spiders, and even discovered a mysterious creature that only existed in legends — Bigfoot. Just as everyone was immersed in joy, they did not know the greater danger.”

Can’t tell you how many times I’ve been immersed in joy every time I see Bigfoot. He embodies pure happiness and makes one giddy as a little girl.

THE 100 / Out now (YouTube™)

“A group is quarantined in a hotel that’s home to a giant centipede and its spawn. Fame and Phil, two popular sibling YouTubers, check in to Srichanphen Hotel for a state-mandated fourteen-day quarantine during the height of the pandemic. In the hotel, they encounter strange events.”

As with any two-star motor lodge, they tack on extra for oversized bugs. Not unreasonable.

THE LABYRINTH Out now (YouTube™)

“Subway passengers face off against a giant centipede.”

Funny how they use the term “face off” — guess the first thing the giant centipede orders from the menu that is you?

THE CASE OF DISAPPEARANCES / Out now (YouTube™)

“A beast raids a town resulting in unexplainable murders. But what’s the mystery behind the beast?”

Better call Scooby-Doo…he’s the ONLY ONE who can solve this body-mangling mystery. Just look as his scorecard — Scoob’s never not been able to solve a paranormal puzzle once in over 50 years. He’s the Sherlock Holmes of sleuthing.