Archive for the Nature Gone Wild Category

Lake Monsters, Killer Snowmen, Hometown Exorcisms

Posted in Classic Horror, Evil, Ghosts, Giant Monsters, Nature Gone Wild, Science Fiction, Slashers with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on July 19, 2017 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Lake Norman Monsters

Lots of reports of fresh sightings of the Lake Norman Monster (his name is “Normie”). Located in North Carolina, Normie’s been gooning out tourists by flashing his hump lately in public. While sightings go back 50 years, some think the creature is  a giant catfish, others an actual leftover from the prehistoric era. I’m theorizing it’s a Loch Ness monster shaped log someone threw in the lake. (Okay, it was me. Are you happy?)

Lake Norman is just under 20 miles from Uptown Charlotte. I know her; she’s kind of a floozy. If you go on LakeNormanMonster.com, there isn’t much in the way of compelling photographic evidence (mostly testimonies from drunk fishermen), but a virtual roadside stand of Normie books, posters, art, T-shirts and coffee mugs. I’ll give this to North Carolina — they know how to market a the snot out of this “creature” whose “sightings” are the stuff of tourist dollar dreams.

So is there an actual lake monster living in a North American lake that people swim, fish and pee in? With no physical evidence whatsoever, all signs still point to yes. And speaking of things you might want to keep an eye out for, here are a few upcoming horror and sci-fi movies/TV series that are more or less proven to exist…

Temple

TEMPLE (September 1, 2017)
“Three Americans on a trip to Japan are fascinated by a haunted temple, and, despite warnings from the villagers, decide to spend a night there.”

That’s Americans for you, never listening to anybody else other than the voices that come from the bottle you have a death grip on. Heck, show me a haunted temple/house/condo/dive bar and get out of my way. But know this — I won’t go all the way to Japan to party in a ghost-filled temple. Too expensive and I’d probably end up sitting next to a spirit of a coach class traveler the whole way there and back. The flick sounds fun, though it’ll probably look a LOT like one of my home movies.

The Exorcist Season 2

THE EXORCIST SEASON 2 (Friday, September 29, 2017)
“Across the Atlantic, Father Bennett attempts to weed out those within the Vatican who have turned against God. Ultimately, Tomas and Marcus are led to Andrew Kim, a former child psychologist who runs a group home for five at-risk foster children on a secluded private island off the coast of Seattle. When one of the children under Andrew’s care is targeted by a powerful force, the two priests head west, setting themselves on a collision course with Hell.”

Two things: Watched season one and was blindsided with the story’s sweet twist. Secondly, season two takes place on a private island off the coast of Seattle? Well, double sweet, as the Emerald City is where I dwell. However, I do take issue with the “private island off the coast of Seattle” part; there is no such thing. There is, though, Vashon, Bainbridge and Whidbey islands, all of which are wide open to the stinky public and are only short ferry/paddle boat rides to go stink up the place. There’s a bunch of small islands (San Juans, Camano) within seagull reach. Maybe it’s one of those damned places. Heh.

The Snowman

THE SNOWMAN (October 20, 2017)
“When an elite crime squad’s lead detective investigates the disappearance of a victim on the first snow of winter, he fears an elusive serial killer may be active again. With the help of a brilliant recruit, the cop must connect decades-old cold cases to the brutal new one if he hopes to outwit this unthinkable evil before the next snowfall.”

Total stock serial killer plot, but with one exception — Michael Fassbender is the lead detective. He was Magneto in a couple X-Men movies and the android David/Walter in Alien: Covenant (2017). Also — and this is no joke — his character’s name in this one is Harry Hole. (I can’t even type that without LOL-ing.) But it’s true. You can’t make up stuff like this. Okay, I could. But no one else.

Charismata

CHARISMATA (2017/2018)
“As a rookie detective struggling to find acceptance in a police department defined by a culture of bullying and intolerance, things go from bad to worse when the chief suspect in a series of brutal ritualistic murders takes a personal interest in her. A game of cat and mouse ensues which sees Rebecca’s grasp on reality beginning to spiral out of control, leading to a terrifying climax where she needs to fight for her sanity, her life and maybe even her soul.”

Maybe her soul? C’mon — make that part happen. No one cares about anybody’s sanity anymore as we’re all pretty much insane (except me). But when you throw a soul into the spiked punch bowl, then it’s time to grab a cup and start bailin’ like the darn thing sprung a leak. I do like the movie’s title — sounds like a freshly showered/powdered stripper or an ‘80s superheroine whose costume is nothing but stain-resistant spandex.

Fat Ass Slug Monster

Posted in Aliens, Classic Horror, Giant Monsters, Nature Gone Wild, Science Fiction with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on July 16, 2017 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

The Creeping TerrorIn The Creeping Terror (aka, The Crawling Monster and Dangerous Charter/1964), one of the most LOL sci-fi movies ever made, A UFO curb-bounces in Angel County, CA. (I looked it up on Google Maps™ — no such place. There is, however, a nifty spot called Dunsmuir. Sounds like a Viking warrior with a horned helmet and beaver fur underpants.)

The Creeping Terror

So out of this UFO crawls the “creeping terror”, one of the most low-budget monsters this side of Robot Monster (1953), whose title creature is a guy in a gorilla suit, skeleton head and diving helmet. Covers all bases when you think about it. This creeping terror, one of two, is not given a name, but rather described as a “large, hairy, slug-like, omnivorous monster.” I’ve heard divorced guys refer to their ex-wives in such the same manner.

The Creeping TerrorThis omnivorous monster looks like 1964 vacuum cleaner hoses attached to a load of unwashed laundry, which grows out of a rubbery turtle-esque shell that acts as its digestive system. And what does Omni eat? People! And for each one it consumes, it grows bigger. Much like taking down two or three Tavern Burgers at Loretta’s Northwesterner. (It’s a cool dive bar.)

The Creeping Terror

Things really get going when the lurching “monster” (it can barely move — maybe it ate too many carb-loaded people) finds its way into a dance hall where people are dancing so strenuously (flapping and waving of arms as though attempting to achieve flight), proceeds to suck previously gyrating party-goers into an orifice in on the base of its upright neck. Call me a suspicious, but it really looked like those people were actually crawling into said cake hole on purpose.

The Creeping Terror

Buzzkills theorize this “bio-organism” is simply taking advantage of Earth’s “all you can eat” policy, and sending nutrition facts back to their home planet by means of science-y knobs and dials on the saucer. The military, being driven around in a pick-up truck designed to haul hay, think otherwise and shoot Omni. Bullets have no effect on unwashed laundry, so one soldier tosses a grenade into the monster’s calorie cave and ka-BOOM! No more O. And no more Zoomba dancing on crack, either.

The Creeping Terror

Speaking of exercise dance classes, Omni, who clearly has eating issues (it ate 17 people), should enroll. But to be fair, he/she/it is king of the clean plate club.

Dead On Arrival Horror

Posted in Classic Horror, Evil, Nature Gone Wild, Science Fiction, Vampires, Werewolves, Zombies with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on July 12, 2017 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Bubba Nosferatu: Cures of the She-Vampires

And now from the Probably Ain’t Gonna Happen files. These are horror/sci-fi movies that were once gonna be made but due to various obstacles/mucking (usually some movie studio d*ckwipe), all deals are off the table. Here’s a few that had the potential to be craptacular…

BUBBA NOSFERATU & CURSE OF THE SHE-VAMPIRES (D.O.A.)
Elvis, shooting a film in Louisiana, finds himself mixed up with a coven of she-vampires.”

Dang — as a sequel to 2002’s hilarious bent Bubba Ho-Tep (starring the statue-worthy Bruce Campbell — or “Ash” from The Evil Dead/1981 — as Elvis), this would’ve been flippin’ crazy fun awesome cool. And yet flushables like Friday the 13th (except the 1980 original) get sequel carte blanche with all the regularity of an Ex-Lax Maximum Strength™ user.

Carpe Demon: Adventures of a Demon Hunting Soccer Mom

CARPE DEMON: ADVENTURES OF A DEMON-HUNTING SOCCER MOM (D.O.A.)
“A suburban housewife is tasked with ridding her town of demons.”

So this is where Stan vs. Evil (2016) got its floor plans. Oh well, if anything they got me to LOL over the title (taken from the 2005 book of the same name by author Julie Kenner). Now to go clean up my LOL.

House of Re-Animator

HOUSE OF RE-ANIMATOR (D.O.A.)
“Ignoring the previous three Re-Animator films, the story focuses on a ‘Bush-like president’ who dies in office and his staff covertly brings in Dr. Herbert West to reanimate him.”

More timely than ever, this one should be made immediately. Then again, I’m a sucker for anything Re-Animator/Herbert West. If you haven’t seen Re-Animator (1985), it’s a horror staple, so like, go staple yourself.

Growl

GROWL (D.O.A.)
“A traveling underground fight club called The Brawlers arrive at a derelict ghost town tucked away in the Colorado Rockies. They meet the town’s only residents, the Maxilla family who want to buy on to the fight card. But the Maxilla family’s true intentions for the Brawler crew is soon revealed in teeth and claws. Some will be hunted, some will be feed, and some will become part of the family…whether they like it or not.”

Crud balls — been waiting for this on every since I LOL’d about it here back on February 18, 2011. Growl (originally titled Brawlers — both are kinda sucky), sounds like Fight Club (1999) but with flea collars and infect-o teeth. But fighting werewolves go back to 2003’s Underworld, wherein naked lycanthropes in man form morph into naked werewolves and fight club each other because that’s what werewolves do. Well, that and rifle through my garbage can during full moons. Some pure silver cantaloupe rinds — strategically hidden between empty bags of Cheetos™ and unopened jars of faux mayonnaise — should take care of that problem.

Drunk Aquaman, Fake Frankenstein, Godzilla Fashion

Posted in Aliens, Classic Horror, Fantasy, Giant Monsters, Godzilla, Nature Gone Wild, Science Fiction, UFOs with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on July 9, 2017 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Godzilla

This has got to be one of the coolest Godzilla shirts going: “Now I am become death, the destroyer of worlds.” That immortal — and unsettling — phrase, of course, came from J. Robert Oppenheimer, father of the atomic bomb. (He’d always have a back-up job as a fireworks designer should we ever run out of the need for Earth-splitting explosives.)

During a televised interview in 1965 after one of his ka-BOOMS was first tested, Oppenheimer uttered the chilling words, “Now I am become death, the destroyer of worlds.” (It should be noted he looked sad when he said it.) Also, he was quoting the 1944 Prabhavananda and Isherwood translation of Hindu scripture, the Bhagavad Gita. (I totally knew that.)

That said, time to scrape together some bit coin action and purchase said Godzilla action wear.

Speaking of things that could go off in your face, here are a few upcoming horror, sci-fi and fantasy movies that may or may not blow up the box office…

Simple Creature

SIMPLE CREATURE (July 11, 2017)
A college student gets into a near-fatal bus accident, but instead of dying, she is reborn through hybrid technology by her biotech father and his advanced lab.

Um, Mary Shelley, author of Frankenstein (1818), might wanna have a few words with you about this “plot” of yours.

Man Underground

MAN UNDERGROUND (July 14, 2017)
“A reclusive conspiracy theorist enlists people from his small town to help him make a low-budget movie about his experience encountering aliens while working as a geologist for the US government.”

I’ve never encountered an alien — YET. But WHEN I DO, I won’t be making a movie about it. Rather, I will beg them to get me off this toilet Earth and to do it without any of that probing they’re infamous for. (Or as we call it here, a “Texas Handshake.”)

Aquaman

AQUAMAN (December 21, 2018)
Aquaman finds himself caught between a surface world that ravages the sea and the underwater Atlanteans who are ready to revolt.”

Simply cannot wait for this one. Not only does it feature Aquaman looking totally badass (he also drinks booze straight from the bottle — no sippy cup for this superhero), he’s joined by the stunningly gorgeous Mera, Queen of Atlantis and Black Manta, an underwater criminal who hates Aquaman and his groundbreaking cannonball techniques.

Pacific Rim: Uprising

PACIFIC RIM: UPRISING (February 23, 2018)
No word on the plot, but one might guess those defeated Kaiju (giant monsters) in Pacific Rim (2013) that came out of an interdimensional portal on the bottom of the Pacific Ocean want a re-match.

Their opponents, of course, are man-made Jaegers (giant mecha robots) controlled by two pilots whose minds swap spit in the mental shower. Very much looking forward to some supersized slobber knockers being traded on a city-leveling scale. That’d be pretty neat if the Jaegers were all wearing that Godzilla shirt.

Fog Monsters, Hunting Grandma, Fort Fantastic

Posted in Bigfoot, Classic Horror, Evil, Fantasy, Giant Monsters, Nature Gone Wild, Scream Queens, UFOs with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on July 8, 2017 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

WTF!

Watched the first episode of The Mist and am wondering if I should watch the rest of the season (as it plays out) or move on to something like Game of Thrones (I’m about six years behind). The Mist’s set up was underwhelming as they tried to cram too much character B.S. into it as the mist (which looked like fog to me), comes out of nowhere and envelopes a small mountain town.

So if you’ve seen the movie, you know that there be mutated monsters in the mist. What we got with the first episode of the TV series adaptation is a the aftermath of a dog being monster’d, a high school girl date raped at a party, a homeless military guy going nuts, a mom high school sex ed teacher getting fired for explaining BJs to her students and the requisite religious nut. Oh, and they don’t show any monsters. I feel betrayed and/or ambivalent at the same time.

Here are a few upcoming horror, sci-fi and fantasy movies that may or may not end up in land clouds caused by cold air passing over warmer water or moist land…

WTF! (August 1, 2017)
“Three years ago, 22 year old girl-next-door Rachel barely survived a brutal massacre that left her friends in pieces. Time has passed, Rachel has moved on, but unfortunately history has a way of repeating itself. Her close friends are spending spring break in a secluded house in the woods, and they have cordially invited her to join. Little does she realize that another bloodbath will be showing up as plus one. Once Rachel and her friends arrive at the cabin, the partying, sex, and terror begins.”

Tired, worn, cliched, photocopied, mimeographed…at least they got the title right.

Dave Made A Maze

DAVE MADE A MAZE (August 18, 2017)
“Dave builds a fort in his living room and ends up trapped inside by fantastical pitfalls, booby traps, and creatures, leaving his girlfriend Annie to head up the eccentric rescue team to go in after him.”

So Dave discovered drugs. It’s all about moderation, Dave. If I built a fort in my living room, it’d probably look like Area 51. Hey, UFOs aren’t just for looking at.

The Ritual

THE RITUAL (October 13, 2017 (UK)/2017/2018 (US)
A group of college friends reunite for a trip to the forest, but encounter a menacing presence in the woods that’s stalking them.

It has to be Bigfoot or one of their former college professors dressed up as Bigfoot. Really, those are the only two explanations. They should call this 7 Days A Weak: weak premise, weak dialogue, weak budget, weak characters… I shan’t waste your time any further on this subject.

Lasso

LASSO (2017/2018)
“Simon and Kit, two young leaders of an Active Senior tour group, out on an adventure to a small-town rodeo festival located deep in the woods. It’s a great experience for the group…until they try to leave. Simon and Kit must save themselves, and whatever seniors they can, from becoming victims of a deadly Rodeo Ritual. Together the group must fight to survive the night from relentless bloodthirsty cowboys on the hunt for human livestock.”

Humans hunting grandpas and grandmas is new, but the concept of humans hunting humans for sport is not. A couple ’o fun ones to watch are 1976’s Logan’s Run and 1987’s The Running Man, both of the sci-fi variety. Spoiler — lots of running. You’ll feel like you got a month’s worth of exercising after watching ’em.

Grandma Zombies, More Sharks, Hollywood Bigfoot

Posted in Asian Horror, Asian Sci-Fi, Bigfoot, Evil, Foreign Horror, Nature Gone Wild, Sharks, Zombies with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on July 1, 2017 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Granny of the Dead

Got a kick out of actor Rob Lowe’s recent statement that he and his sons had a face-to-face encounter with Bigfoot in the Ozarks while shooting a new docuseries called self-servingly, The Lowe Files (premiering August 2, 2017 on A&E). From the press release: “The reality show follows Lowe and his two teenage sons, Matthew and John Owen, as they travel around the country investigating mysterious phenomena and paranormal activity.”

This is what happens to your career when it runs out of gas. In an interview with Entertainment Weekly, Lowe told the celebrity gossip magazine, “We had an incredible encounter with what locals call the ‘wood ape,’ which is in the Ozark Mountains. I’m fully aware that I sound like a crazy, Hollywood kook right now.”

Looks like Rob just wrote his show’s first review.

Speaking of kooky Hollywood things, here are a few upcoming horror/sci-fi movies that you may or may not come face-to-face with on your TV/movie theater screen — whether you live in the Ozarks or not…

GRANNY OF THE DEAD (July 14, 2017)
“Regular guy Ed awakes one morning to find that his Grandma has become one of the living dead. Trapped in his home, Ed struggles to handle the situation. When he discovers the rest of the town’s elderly have also been infected by the zombie plague, Ed must become a hero in order to save his family and friends.”

Aren’t old people zombies already? I mean, minus the flesh-eating part? Then again, I suppose it’s easier to chew human flesh with dentures, provided said cheap meat has been cut up for you and served around 4PM at Royal Fork Buffet restaurants.

Open Water 3: Cage Dive

OPEN WATER 3: CAGE DIVE (August 11, 2017)
“Three American tourists are making an audition tape of a shark cage dive for a reality TV show. A catastrophic turn of events leaves them stranded in the waters of South Australia surrounded by hungry great white sharks.”

When aren’t great white sharks hungry? As oceanographer Matt Hooper (Richard Dreyfuss) expertly pointed out in Jaws (1975), “What we’re dealing with here is a perfect engine, an eating machine. All this machine does is swim, eat and make little sharks.” So yeah, looking forward to the sharks graphically doing at least one of those things. (Sorry, nature pervs — this is a PG-rated affair.) And while it sports the Open Water moniker, it’s only related to the previous two Open Water movies in name only. Odd, as the plot is nearly identical. This one, though, is found footage crapola, which in this case, probably works.

P.S. I wrote about this back on October 13, 2016 when it was merely called Cage Dive. With a title that uninspired, not surprised that they added “Open Water” to it to cash in. All things being equal, I would’ve done the same thing, but changed it slightly: Open Water: The Eatening.

Death Note

DEATH NOTE (August 25, 2017/Netflix)
“Intoxicated by the power of a supernatural notebook, a young man begins killing those he deems unworthy of life. Based on the famous Japanese manga.”

I wrote about Death Note: Light Up The New World, the Japanese sequel, on April 25, 2017. You’re welcome. This Death Note is the American remake of the first DN movie, which came out in 2006. The new trailer is crazy cool nuts, the premise being that a “death note book” drops out of the sky and when you write someone’s name in it, they soon expire. My neck keeps hurting from looking up at the sky for falling books.

Blade Runner 20149

BLADE RUNNER 2049 (October 6, 2017)
“Thirty years after the events of the first film, a new blade runner, LAPD Officer K, unearths a long-buried secret that has the potential to plunge what’s left of society into chaos. K’s discovery leads him on a quest to find Rick Deckard, a former LAPD blade runner who has been missing for 30 years.”

The original Blade Runner (1982) has long been considered one of sci-fi’s greatest movies ever in the history of the future. Hence (from Wikipedia™), film critics Chris Ridley and Janet Maslin theorized that “Blade Runner changed cinematic and cultural discourse through its image repertoire, and subsequent influence on films.”

Not everyone liked Blade Runner…or even understood it when it first came out (me included). But re-watching the seven different film cuts (including one where filmmaker Ridley Scott had full artistic license to edit), Blade Runner holds up surprisingly well, and makes the future look as bleak and doom-y as it does today.

Road of the Dead

ROAD OF THE DEAD (2018)
Road of the Dead takes place six years after 2005’s post-apocalyptic Land of the Dead and is set on an island where zombie prisoners race cars in a modern-day Coliseum for the entertainment of wealthy humans.”

A return to the zombie genre he kinda started with Night of the Living Dead back in 1968, George Romero’s Road of the Dead is being described as Road Warrior (1981) meets Rollerball (1975) at a Nascar™ race, with significant inspiration from Ben-Hur (1959). That seems pretty dang awesome, especially since his Land of the Dead arrived DOA. So zombies driving race cars — can you say “morning commute”?

Spider-Man, Bloody Vampires, Demonic Nuns

Posted in Classic Horror, Evil, Fantasy, Ghosts, Nature Gone Wild, Vampires with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on June 30, 2017 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Spider-Man: Homecoming

Seriously considering about not going to movie theaters anymore and just renting new flicks on Fandangonow.com for a mere $4.99. Sure, I won’t get to see the latest flicks the second they come out, but dango, movie theater tickets/popcorn/soda/hot dogs are getting to be about the price of a steak dinner with a cloth napkin.

Then there are the obnoxious theater goers who continue to talk during the movie and/or use their cellphones. The death penalty would be too lenient for these jerks. So yeah, I can save a bunch of money, not get stressed out and horizontally lay on my couch and watch movies. Very uncomfortable, rude and probably CDC unhygienic to lay down on movie theater seats.

Speaking of movies I’ll probably not see in the theaters (and a few not at all), here are a few upcoming horror/sci-fi/fantasy movies for your horizontal viewing pleasure…

SPIDER-MAN: HOMECOMING (July 7, 2017)
“Thrilled by his experience with the Avengers, young Peter Parker returns home to live with his Aunt May. Under the watchful eye of mentor Tony Stark, Parker starts to embrace his newfound identity as Spider-Man. He also tries to return to his normal daily routine — distracted by thoughts of proving himself to be more than just a friendly neighborhood superhero. Peter must soon put his powers to the test when the evil Vulture emerges to threaten everything that he holds dear.”

Deadpool

Is it just me or is the new Spider-Man movie taking a direct marketing lead from Deadpool (2016)? Makes sense as they both wear similar masks. Deadpool, though, shoots guns; Spider-Man just webs his pants. Heh. Don’t get my solid gold attempts at humor mislead you; I can’t wait for Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017). The trailers are kick asinine and Spidey’s an old comic book fav. That’s were I learned to read and webbed in my own pants. Yeesh — I hope that was webbing.

Super Dark Times

SUPER DARK TIMES (October 3, 2017)
“Teenagers Zach and Josh have been best friends their whole lives. But when a gruesome accident leads to a cover-up, the secret drives a wedge between them and propels them down a rabbit hole of escalating paranoia and violence.

The title sounds like something a teenager would say. Wonder what the gruesome accident is? A zit-popping contest gone wrong? The cinnamon challenge? Planking over a shark-filled pool? Doing the mannequin challenge on a train track? You can never tell with idiot teenagers.

Blood Dynasty

BLOOD DYNASTY (October 31, 2017)
Blood Dynasty is the third in “Irina” vampire film cycle, that began with 2012’s award winning Blood for Irina and continued in 2014’s Queen of Blood. The character of Irina – inspired in part by Lina Romay’s character in Franco’s Female Vampire (1975) — is once more reborn, rising from the sea to bring madness and bloodlust to a lonely young woman living in a decaying motel.”

Queen of Blood seems to be the go-to phrase these days, what with the new Hell Boy movie using it as well. As for Female Vampire, there’s some pretty bold undressedness in that one. You’ve been warned.

Jumanji: Welcome To The Jungle

JUMANJI — WELCOME TO THE JUNGLE (December 20, 2017)
“Four high school kids discover an old video game console and are drawn into the game’s jungle setting, literally becoming the adult avatars they chose. What they discover is that you don’t just play Jumanji — you must survive it. To beat the game and return to the real world, they’ll have to go on the most dangerous adventure of their lives, discover what Alan Parrish left 20 years ago, and change the way they think about themselves — or they’ll be stuck in the game forever.”

Oddly, I never saw the original Jumanji, released back in 1995. Looked too goofy to me. And to keep the goof factor in place for the remake, Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson — is the lead, along with the always hilarious Jack Black. I think Dwayne’s in every movie coming out these days. Seems like he is. As a movie star he’s good. But as a former WWE superstar, he was king of the ring.

The Nun

THE NUN (July 13, 2018)
“When a young nun at a cloistered abbey in Romania takes her own life, a priest with a haunted past and a novitiate on the threshold of her final vows are sent by the Vatican to investigate. Together they uncover the order’s unholy secret. Risking not only their lives but their faith and their very souls, they confront a malevolent force in the form of the same demonic nun that first terrorized audiences in The Conjuring 2, as the abbey becomes a horrific battleground between the living and the damned.”

The Nun

For your own sanity’s sake, The Nun probably should not be confused with The Nun from 2005. (Same named horror movies give me tummy achings.) So this is the scary nun from The Conjuring (2013), like that movie’s “possessed” doll Annabelle, also getting her back story spin-off. With seven Conjuring and planned tie-in movies based its characters, I figured that particular cow was milked dry after the formulaic The Conjuring 2 (2016).