Archive for Asian Horror

Game Sharks, Evil Warehouses, Dreadful Angels

Posted in Asian Horror, Asian Sci-Fi, Classic Horror, Evil, Foreign Horror, Ghosts, Nature Gone Wild, Science Fiction, Sharks, Vampires, Werewolves, Witches with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on February 16, 2019 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Jaws

If you’re looking to do some pre-Christmas shopping done, there is no better gift to get me than the new Jaws board game by Ravensburger. And here’s the supremely cool part — one player gets to be the shark!

Jaws

Coming late June 2019, the Jaws board game will bite into your wallet for $30. Heck, I’d pay at least $35 for such a cool game. Here’s why…

Jaws

“Like Steven Spielberg’s classic film, Jaws the board game plays out in two major acts. The first part has the player controlling the shark terrorizing Amity Island by attacking swimmers, while up to three other opponents — playing as Quint, Brody, and Hooper — try to cooperatively figure out exactly where the shark is hiding in the surrounding murky depths. Once the shark is located, the game switches to a second act.”

While you fight over who gets to buy me the game, here are a few upcoming horror/sci-fi movies/TV series that may or may not be as ridiculously cool as a cardboard shark

1st Summoning

1st SUMMONING (February 22, 2019)
“As four student filmmakers unearth a bizarre history of occult practice tied to an abandoned warehouse, it becomes clear the horror they set out to document may have been lurking among them all along.”

Of course abandoned warehouses are where evil lives — the rent is cheap.

Stray

STRAY (March 1, 2019)
“An orphaned teenager teams up with the detective investigating her mother’s murder. They soon discover a supernatural force threatening the city and realize the teen possesses hidden powers of her own which might be the key to stopping it.”

Potential spoiler: The supernatural force threatening everyone is…REPUBLICANS. Time for Democrats to tap into their hidden powers and veto them back to Hell.

Darlin'

DARLIN’ (2019)
Darlin’ picks up 10 years after the events of The Woman, when the titular character escaped with the then-young Darlin’ in tow. Now Darlin’ in is a Catholic home for girls while the Woman resides in an all-female homeless encampment.”

Didn’t see The Woman (2011), so I have no idea what they’re talking about. I looked it up and it was a sequel to Offspring (2009). Didn’t see that one, either. The internet says it was about cannibals. Sounds yummy.

Penny Dreadful: City of Angels

PENNY DREADFUL: CITY OF ANGELS (2020)
City of Angels will be set in 1938 Los Angeles, a time and place deeply infused with Mexican-American folklore and social tension. Rooted in the conflict between characters connected to the deity Santa Muerte and others allied with the Devil, Penny Dreadful: City of Angels will explore an exciting mix of the supernatural and the combustible reality of that period, creating new occult myths and moral dilemmas within a genuine historical backdrop.”

If this is even half as good as the Penny Dreadful TV series (2014 – 2016), which starred Count Dracula, Dr. Frankenstein and his science project, Dr. Jekyll, Dorian Gray, the Wolf-Man and a bunch of witches thrown in for flavor, then I plan on spending all my waking time binge watching it.

Zombie Kingdom

Posted in Asian Horror, Evil, Foreign Horror, Nature Gone Wild, Zombies with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on February 13, 2019 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Kingdom

Do you like watching skin-snacking zombies tearing into soon-to-be-expired flesh? Who doesn’t? Which is why, if you aren’t already, you might wanna watch Kingdom, a period piece Korean zombie six-episode flesh-fest that showed up on Netflix™ on January 25, 2019. I do believe with all my heart that was just a few weeks ago as of this writing.

Kingdom

I previewed this a period piece ago, but in case you were combing your hair and missed it, here’s the premise…

Kingdome

“The deceased king rises and a mysterious plague begins to spread; the prince must face a new breed of enemies to unveil the evil scheme and save his people.”

Kingdom

Sort of tantalizing, but it doesn’t begin to hint at the slaughterhouse gore and zombie action therein. The first episode, set back in the days where starving poor people lived in house made out of bamboo and mud and rich people wallowed in the mud of wealth and much cleaner clothes, takes nearly the whole one hour first show to get going. But when it does, have something to clean up the mud you’ll no doubt fill your pants with.

Kingdom

An overloaded “hospital” (made of bamboo and mud) is getting desperate for food and medicine. The 100 year old head doctor hasn’t been seen for days. And when he finally shows up, he’s carrying the rotting corpse of a young unlucky previous human. Well hey, cook that sucker up and feed it to the ecstatic starving people! Just don’t tell them what they’re eating. (It tastes like Peking duck — a bit gamey, but lip-smackingly tasty.)

Kingdom

Once consumed, people go into mouth-frothing spasms, die painfully, then come back to life and go all World War Z on everybody standing nearby not yet dead. And like the zombies in World War Z (2013), these undead heads relentlessly run, tackle, climb and throw themselves off roofs. And they do something else not usually seen in zombie movies. (No spoiler, but there’s a hint in 2007’s I Am Legend.)

Kingdom

It only takes a few seconds for a zombie bite to get you up and running, which means this plague is a flippin’ pandemic. Tons of butt-clenching close calls, explicit gore and a sub-plot involving the royal elite abandoning their lower than lower class subjects. It will make you mad if you’re lower than low.

Kingdom

Get past the political positioning first episode and get ready for a top notch flesh-snacking, which does a good job of leveling the social class playing field.

Coffin Movies, Human Supper Club, Death Boat

Posted in Asian Horror, Asian Sci-Fi, Evil, Foreign Horror, Giant Monsters, Science Fiction with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on January 23, 2019 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Coffin Movies

Not sure what I think about this: “The Goteborg Film Festival in Sweden, beginning on January 27, 2019, will be offering up 33 “sarcophagus screenings” of Aniara, a Swedish-language apocalyptic sci-fi film.” Yeesh, what’s next — sneak previews in a gas chamber?

According to The Hollywood Reporter, eight volunteers at a time will be shut into specially made caskets outfitted with screens, speakers and air vents. Inside the coffin will be a “panic” button for anyone who gets too freaked out. 

Aniara

I’d break my finger pushing that button. Points for creativity, though. As for Aniara (2018), here’s this about that: “A spaceship carrying settlers to Mars is knocked off course, causing the consumption-obsessed passengers to consider their place in the universe.” I can feel their pain — my life would be nothing if it weren’t for drunk bidding on eBay™.

Before you go hopping into any movie sarcophagus, here are a few upcoming horror/sci-fi movies/TV series that may or may not have you reaching for the panic button. And remember, it’s not the coffin they take you off in, it’s the coffin that takes you often…

Folklore

FOLKLORE (February 1, 2019/ HBO NOW, HBO GO, HBO On Demand)
Folklore is HBO’s newest foray into the horror anthology genre. The series, which contains six hour-long episodes, will take place in six Asian countries including Indonesia, Japan, Korea, Malaysia, Singapore, and Thailand. Each of the six episodes is based on that respective country’s folklore and mythology, which includes various supernatural beings and strange occult practices. Each episode will be helmed by a different director, with each episode filmed in the local language of that particular country.”

This one was already aired on HBO Asia on October 7, 2018. (I didn’t know Asia changed its name.) As cool as the anthology series sounds, doesn’t do me much good if each episode is filmed in its native language. Geez, I can barely speak whatever language I’m currently burping out now.

Beneath The Leaves

BENEATH THE LEAVES (February 8, 2019/limited theater/VOD)
“Among countless others, four small-town boys are kidnapped by James Whitley, a deranged, warm-eyed psychopath. His grotesque pursuit to reunite orphaned children with their deceased birth parents is gridlocked when the boys escape and he is arrested. Twenty years later, Whitley flees during a prison fire and decides to see his mission through. Detective Larson, one of Whitley’s prior victims — and now a cop — is removed from the case due to impartiality leaving his partner and lover, Detective Shotwell to solve the case. Fueled by rage and a chance of redemption, Detective Larson chases the steadfast psychopath on his own, only to fall back into the same trap he once escaped as a child.”

Fueled by rage. Kinda my mantra. Hope career criminal James Whitely doesn’t try to kidnap me — I’ve got a full tank.

The Cannibal Club

THE CANNIBAL CLUB (March 1, 2019/limited theater/ March 5, 2019/VOD)
Otavio and Gilda are a very wealthy couple of the Brazilian elite who have the habit of eating their employees. Otavio owns a private security company and is a notable member of The Cannibal Club. When Gilda accidentally discovers a secret from Borges, a powerful congressman and the club’s leader, her and her husband’s lives are in grave danger.”

Eating your employees — doesn’t sound too tasty, but it does cut down on having to hand out raises and buying groceries.

Harpoon

HARPOON (2019)
“With his perfect family and perfect upbringing, Richard appears to have it all. So when he thinks that his long-term girlfriend, Sasha and best-friend, Jonah, are having an affair, it sends him into a fit of rage that leaves Jonah a bloody mess. Once Jonah and Sasha convince Richard the allegations are false, Richard tries to buy back their trust by taking them out for a day-trip on his family’s yacht. Tension boils over once out to sea, and, to make matters worse, the yacht’s engine fails. Stranded without food and supplies, the trio must set aside their differences in order to survive.”

Can’t remember the title, but there was a Japanese horror movie with the same plot. It didn’t end well for them, either. I think they were all eaten by a giant octopus with nine arms. I could be slight wrong about that.

Photogenic Ghost

Posted in Asian Horror, Foreign Horror, Ghosts with tags , , , , , , , , , on January 21, 2019 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Shutter (The Original)

Driving home with his girlfriend after drinking with some buddies and thinking he’s gonna get some action because he’s all liquored up and in the mood for some lovin’, Tun (that’s really his name) runs over a young gal crossing the road. He thought it was a speed bump and kept going.

Shutter (The Original)

Over the next few days, Tun — a photographer — is snapping pics of a high school graduation. He notices white streaks on some of the photos and in one shot, sees the face of the gal he ran over and left to die in the mean streets of Bangkok. Later, examining the pictures closely, he looks at the girl’s face…AND IT TURNS AND LOOKS AT HIM! How can a photograph do that? Is that even legal?

Shutter (The Original)

Then more eerie stuff starts to happen to him and his girlfriend, enough to send her on a mission to find out who they turned into roadkill. As it just so happens, the dead gal was a former girlfriend of Tun’s. And his camera? A gift given to him by the previously-living girl as a present of some sort. But something else is happening — all Tun’s drinking buddies are practicing high dives off tall buildings. (Problem is, you can only practice the dive once.)

Shutter (The Original)It’s here he spills the beans about meeting the girl back in his school days, dating her and then moving in together and more than likely touching each other’s private parts. The gal was frightfully shy and mercilessly teased by Tun’s classmates…the same ones that are now thinking they can fly.

Shutter (The Original)

He eventually broke up with her and she attempted suicide by cutting her wrist with a knife intended for kitchen use only. But where things really get ugly is when Tun’s current girlfriend finds a bunch of pictures of his ex-girlfriend getting gang sexed by his drunk friends, pictures HE took. Time for the dead girl to turn up the juice on the Haunt-o-Meter™. 

Shutter (The Original)

Since hitting the girl with the car, Tun’s neck has been aching — and now it’s hurting even more. But he can’t think about his neck right now as the dead girl is walking on the ceiling…UPSIDE DOWN! He crawls out onto the fire escape in the pouring rain (complete with wind and lightning), only to have his dead ex crawl after him…UPSIDE DOWN! This makes Tun let go and he hits the ground like a wet wonton.

Shutter (The Original)

Cracked skull, broken arm, probably a fair amount of poop in his pants, when Tun gets out of the hospital he starts taking pictures around his apartment. But it’s only when Tun takes a picture of himself in the mirror that we find out why his neck hurts so much. While the truth didn’t goon us out, it was pretty neat all the same.

Shutter (The Original)

Shutter (The Original) (2004) has several false endings, like when you eat budget Thai food and think you need to make some bathroom tofu, but don’t/can’t. The best stuff, though, happens in the last 15 minutes. Like when making bathroom tofu.

Sweet Tooth Sci-Fi, Early-Period Zombies, Marsh Monster

Posted in Asian Horror, Asian Sci-Fi, Evil, Fantasy, Foreign Horror, Giant Monsters, Misc. Horror, Nature Gone Wild, Science Fiction, TV Vixens, Zombies with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on January 2, 2019 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Stranger Things

If you’re a fan of Stranger Things (and who on this planet isn’t?), Itsugar.com just made available a whole bowl of Stranger Things themed candy, from My Little Pollywog gummy to Barb Missing Milk Carton (full of chocolate malt balls) to the Upside Down Chocolate Bar — half premium milk chocolate and half gray-speckled white chocolate. Pack your bags — you’re about to go to Yum Town.

Stranger Things

Stranger Things

Before you go indulging your taste for all things stranger and sweet, here are a few upcoming horror/sci-fi streaming series, which may or may not give you cavities…

Stranger Things 3

STRANGER THINGS 3 (July 4, 2019/Netflix™)
Titles for the new episodes include: “Suzie, Do You Copy?, “The Mall Rats,” “The Case of the Missing Lifeguard,” “The Sauna Test,” “The Source,” “The Birthday,” “The Bite” and “The Battle of Starcourt.”

That’s all they’re giving us for now. Fine by me — the Stranger Things series is so addictively bingeful, it should be classified as some sort of visual drug, like porno. Except instead of Jennifer Lawrence’s Photoshopped naked/nude body wrapped around mine, you get the Demogorgon, which may or may not know who Jennifer Lawrence is. Or me.

Kingdom

KINGDOM (January 26, 2019/Netflix™)
In a kingdom defeated by corruption and famine, a mysterious plague spreads to turn the infected into monsters. The crown prince, framed for treason and desperate to save his people, sets out on a journey to unveil what evil lurks in the dark.

Looking forward to this South Korean period piece zombie apocalypse chewfest. And hey, it’s gonna be a series, which means more couch time for this professional squatter.

The Punisher

THE PUNISHER (2019/Netflix™)
“After exacting revenge on those responsible for the death of his wife and children, Frank Castle uncovers a conspiracy that runs far deeper than New York’s criminal underworld. Now known throughout the city as The Punisher, he must discover the truth about injustices that affect more than his family alone.”

If you saw Season One of Netflix’s The Punisher, it certainly lived up to its name — each show contained some of the most face-pinchingly brutal fight scenes this side of Daredevil ever filmed for enjoyment purposes. And Jon Bernthal, who played the loose cannon Shane on The Walking Dead, is the perfect choice to deliver the business end of his pummel-happy fists. I am so happy right now.

Swamp Thing

SWAMP THING (2019/DC Universe)
Abby Arcane, an employee at Atlanta’s Center for Disease Control, investigates what seems to be a deadly swamp-born virus in a small town in Louisiana but soon discovers that the swamp holds mystical and terrifying secrets.”

A new series set to stream on DC Universe. As much as Swamp Thing is cool, it remains to be seen if he’s $7.99 a month cool.

The Kings of Kaiju

Posted in Aliens, Asian Horror, Asian Sci-Fi, Classic Horror, Foreign Horror, Giant Monsters, Godzilla, Nature Gone Wild, Science Fiction with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 17, 2018 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Rodan

Three new key art posters for Godzilla: King of the Monsters, coming in May 2019. These are pretty dang cool as each of Godzilla’s BFFs (Big F’n Foes) get their own moment in the spotlight.

First, we get to see in sweet detail what Rodan looks like. The gigantic, trouble-making bird had his own movie back in 1956. It was Toho’s (film studio) first color movie and actually featured two Rodans. Wonder if their mom knew the pesky Pteranodons snacked on humans and intentionally knocked over buildings?

Ghidorah

Next up is the three-headed Ghidorah, who was also called Monster Zero back in 1970. In his big screen debut, aliens in shiny suits from Planet X (on the same block as Jupiter), come to Earth asking to borrow Godzilla and Rodan to help smack Ghidorah, who has been flying around and zapping the planet with electric bolts, forcing the English-speaking extraterrestrials to live underground with no windows. Not surprisingly, beans were outlawed.

Mothra

Then we come to Mothra, who was introduced in 1964. (In Japan, the movie was called Mothra vs. Godzilla, but in the States it was titled Godzilla vs. The Thing.) A huge storm (in Japan they called it a typhoon) unearths an egg the size of a shopping mall. In it are twin larvae and Mothra is their mom (or would that be “Momthra”?). Godzilla fancies an omelet and tries to crack the egg, until Mothra flies in as if to say, “Oh, hell no.”

As of this writing Godzilla: King of The Monsters is still about six months away. These new posters help ease my anxiousness to see this monster match-up. Until then, I’ll keep going to my support group meetings.

Million Dollar Monster, Undying House, Stinky Horror

Posted in Asian Horror, Classic Horror, Evil, Foreign Horror, Ghosts, Nature Gone Wild, Science Fiction, Zombies with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 8, 2018 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Llamageddon

Though reported by Bloody-Disgusting.com, Llamageddon (2018) — a new indie horror movie as of this e-scribbling — has been making steaming piles of news all over the Internet. While the cost to stream movies of any genre ranges from .99 cents to $6.99 (and above), Llamageddon’s price on Amazon.com is over…ONE MILLION DOLLARS.

Llamageddon

Not joking, though it probably is a joke — and not just the title. It’s either a typo, a clever way to get publicity, or it’s for real. I’m thinkin’ the second one, though if some idiot with more money than brains rented it at full price, he/she just gave the filmmakers an early Christmas — for the next 10 years.

In case you have more money than brains, here’s the plot: “A killer llama from outer space crash lands on Earth and begins reigning havoc on a group of unsuspecting college students.” Why do I get the feeling someone’s reaching for their wallet right now?

Llamageddon

If you want slightly more affordable barnyard horror, try Black Sheep (2006) from New Zealand. In that one, the fuzzy creatures don’t come from space, but rather are genetically tinkered, which turns them into ferocious people-eaters. You wouldn’t think that was cool, but it is.

But for now, here are a few now available/upcoming horror/sci-fi movies that may or may not drain your 401k…

The Ghost Beyond

THE GHOST BEYOND (available now)
“A struggling novelist moves his wife and young son to an old country home, but when a presence begins to communicate with his son, the family must escape an evil that threatens to doom them to the house for eternity.”

Same old plot, same old story, same old struggling novelist. And since when are novelists not struggling? And how can they afford an old country home in which to struggle? I say let the evil take the mom and kid, and then move into a nice, AFFORDABLE studio apartment that never dies.

The House That Never Dies: Reawakening

THE HOUSE THAT NEVER DIES: THE REAWAKENING (available now)
“The sequel to the 2014 hit film The House That Never Dies is based on true events that took place at the spookiest of Beijing’s Four Oriental Haunted Houses. The story takes place a hundred years after a mutiny by warlords in Beijing when an expert in cultural relics encounters supernatural phenomena at the mansion on 81 Chaoyangmennei Street.”

Chaoyangmennei Street? Try spelling that right on the first five tries when calling for Lyft™. P.S. You wouldn’t think so, but you still have to add a ghost if you’re doing a shared ride. And yes, it costs the same as adding non-ghosts.

Pledge

PLEDGE (January 11, 2019)
“Frat life has never been so scary. And we don’t mean the recent wave of headlines and controversies. Inspired by the rise of the ‘social’ thriller, Pledge promises to take a centuries-old American tradition to new extremes and explore the power dynamics that have led to so many deaths on American campuses.”

Yeah, I’m thinkin’ no to this one.

Respira

RESPIRA (2018/2019)
Leonardo gets a job as a fumigator pilot in the soybean fields and moves with his family to the countryside. When he starts working, he discovers a dark secret that will put him and his family in danger.”

The dark secret is you can’t really fumigate anything with the word “bean” in it.