Archive for the Foreign Horror Category

Neighborhood Gorillas, Lady Krampus, Rappin’ Snakes

Posted in Asian Horror, Asian Sci-Fi, Classic Horror, Evil, Foreign Horror, Ghosts, Giant Monsters, Nature Gone Wild, Science Fiction, Witches with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on October 17, 2017 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

King Kong

Ammon Smith of Salt Lake City, Utah knows how to throw down for Halloween. This year he built — using wooden boxes, chicken wire, trash bags, black fabric and pool noodles (I don’t know what those are, but they sound cool) and paint — to create a massive King Kong Halloween display in his front yard. No word on whether or not he’s handing out screaming citizens instead of candy.

King Kong

With “Kong” clutching a Barbie doll and battling bi-planes, clearly, we all want Ammon, a 33 year-old woodworker, to live in our neighborhood. According to the Salt Lake Tribune, it took Ammon 80 to 100 hours to complete the ultimate Halloween yard decoration. That’s about how many hours a week I lay around watching monster movies. Just think of what I could create for my yard on Halloween if I got off my unmotivated booty instead of turning my couch into a Jell-O™ mold of my entire body. (The comfortable sitting device kinda looks like a pod from Invasion of the Body Snatchers/1956).

While we bask in our own jealousy that we didn’t do anything nearly as cool to commemorate Halloween, here are a few just released horror/sci-fi movies/documentaries to help pull us out of our collective shame spiral…

Haunters: Art of the Scare

HAUNTERS: ART OF THE SCARE (available now)
Haunters is a heart-warming and heart-stopping documentary about people who sacrifice everything to create the most popular and polarizing haunted houses for Halloween — from boo-scare mazes to a controversial new subculture of extreme terror experiences.”

Fun stuff, although I’m partial to real haunted houses with real ghosts, mostly because you don’t have to pay to get in. That, and there’s something kinda liberating to soil one’s britches in public after having the groceries scared outta you. Okay, I probably said too much.

Metalball Machine: Kodoku

MEATBALL MACHINE: KODOKU (available now)
“A lonely man’s life is thrown into chaos when alien parasites turn a city’s average citizens into kill-crazy cyborg creatures.”

If you saw Meatball Machine (2005), let’s just hope you’re not a vegetarian, otherwise this hyper-gory sequel might make you decorate your Old Navy™ shirt with recycled beef stroganoff.

Mother Krampus

MOTHER KRAMPUS (November 7, 2017/DVD)
“For the 12 days before the Christmas of 1921, children went missing near the local towns woods. A traumatized girl was found, but her mind had gone – she later died of her horrific injuries. Just before the Christmas of 1992, a further five children disappeared again. Their bodies were found in the same woods. Angry and seeking vengeance, the locals hung a woman they believed to be the killer. But before dying, she cursed the town that one day the Christmas Witch, Frau Perchta, would come for them to avenge her death. 25 years later, the story has become little more than a local myth. But as children start to go missing again, everyone begins to wonder if the tales of a curse might be true. This Christmas it’s not only the children that are in danger, it’s the adults too.”

A woman Krampus. Seems kinda redundant as lots of women (and me) turn into “monsters” when they get “crampuses” during certain periods (sorry) of their life. As for the plot, all they did was switch out the old woman (example: see Darkness Falls/2003 with the “tooth fairy” coming back for revenge) and let hilarity ensue.

Snake Outta Compton

SNAKE OUTTA COMPTON (2018)
“A young rap group suddenly finds themselves up against a giant, mutated snake that threatens to destroy their search for stardom. Aided by two corrupt cops, a crazed gangster, and a mad scientist, the band has one thing to do before getting the record deal they need; get that motherf**kin’ snake outta Compton! Prepare yourself for dope ass beats, unfriendly fire, and the biggest, nastiest snake you’ve ever seen in this outrageous satire of creature features, urban gangster films, and hip hop culture.”

Just when you think no one can come up with a snappy horror movie name. Snake Outta Compton might very well get title of the year. I just hope rap icon/legend Ice Cube makes a cameo.

Social Media Demons, Slashing Santas, Shower Power

Posted in Evil, Foreign Horror, Ghosts, Misc. Horror, Scream Queens, Slashers with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on October 12, 2017 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Ash Vs. Evil Dead

New teaser art for the upcoming season three of Ash vs. Evil Dead, one of the fun/funniest/goriest shows on the ‘ol  Magnavox™. The 10-episode season launches on Sunday, February 25, 2018 at 9PM ET/PT on Starz™. Sunday’s are usually my night to stay in and wash my hair. But I can out it off for a week to see Ash buzz through demons with his chainsaw arm.

Ash Vs. Evil Dead

From the press release: “Ash vs Evil Dead Season 3 finds Ash’s status in Elk Grove, Michigan has changed from murderous urban legend to humanity-saving hometown hero. When Kelly witnesses a televised massacre with Ruby’s fingerprints all over it, she returns with a new friend to warn Ash and Pablo that evil isn’t done with them yet. Blood is thicker than water in the battle of good vs Evil Dead!”

While we impatiently wait five more months, here are a few just released/upcoming horror and sci-fi movies that may or may not lube your chainsaw, metaphorical or otherwise…

BnB Hell

BnB HELL (available now)
“A young woman’s hunt for her missing sister ends at a rundown bed and breakfast in the Hollywood Hills run by an ill-tempered woman called Mommy. Disturbing messages left by former guests suggest unsettling secrets lay buried there.”

Was only a matter of time before the BnB craze became the framework for horror. Already done using the Uber™/Lyft™ model with Ryde (2017): “Technology brings us closer. Or perhaps it brings strangers a little too close. But how much can you really trust someone? With a new ride share service, you never know who you’ll be getting in a car with. Or if you’ll ever get out.” Not a good way to get tips or a clickable star rating. Still, better than the city bus and/or taxis.

Devil's Night

DEVIL’S NIGHT (available now/VOD)
“Daniel, a charismatic teen from a broken home, wants nothing more than to get out of the trailer park. After scraping together just enough money to buy a video camera, he begins making YouTube™ videos in the hope that his antics will lead him to a better life. But when his videos fail to catch on and all his friends leave for college, Daniel’s left all alone. Undeterred, he discovers an old documentary about a serial killer who brutally murdered seven people in a satanic sacrifice not too far from his hometown. Thinking this might be his last chance for success, he decides to film a video in the killer’s house, only to summon an evil worse than anything he could have possibly imagined.”

Good idea — go into a killer’s house of evil with a camera. There’s a reason demons don’t take selfies. And since when are dumbass antics broadcast on social media a career path? Teens be dumb.

78/52

78/52 (October 13, 207)
“An unprecedented look at the iconic shower scene in Alfred Hitchcock’s Psycho (1960), the ‘man behind the curtain,’ and the screen murder that profoundly changed the course of world cinema.”

They’re correct — that one scene, which even has college courses dedicated to it, all but defined modern horror movies, scream queensslashers and screechy violin music. I once had a Psycho shower scene shirt — it read: “Wash all of life’s problems down the drain.” That’s not just funny, but LOL funny.

Apocalypse Cult

APOCALYPSE CULT (October, 2017/VOD/DVD)
“While investigating the legend of a mysterious group of people living in the forest, a local news crew comes across an all-too-real doomsday cult. Trapped in their grasp, the news crew must find a way to escape before they execute their final act of devotion.”

This one actually came out in Australia, home of giant bouncing rabbits, back in 2014. Don’t know why it took so long to get here in the States. Maybe the Land Down Under was dealing with their plague of kid-eating dingos and mosh pit razorbacks. That’s a  good excuse as any. Note to self: plan vacation to Australia and taunt nature after drinking multiple cans of XXXX Gold 12.4% beer.

Once Upon A Time At Christmas

ONCE UPON A TIME AT CHRISTMAS (December 12, 2017/DVD)
“Meet Santa and Mrs. Claus: he’s a one-eyed fiend, she’s a curvy, bat-swinging blonde. This serial killer couple is terrorizing the holidays in an upstate New York town with a series of horrific homicides. Though the victims seem random — a mall Santa, a smooching couple, an innocent family — high-schooler Jennifer and clever cop Sam begin to unravel the sinister pattern behind the slayings. Can they stop the murders before Christmas comes — and there’s no one left to celebrate?”

Diggin’ the twist: Santa and his dame are serial killers. But I have a few questions: like how many gangsta elves are in their employ? Does this mean their getaway car is a reindeer-fueled sled? Are candy canes used as stabby tools of the trade? Can’t wait for Christmas.

Werewolves, Vampires, Electric Sheep

Posted in Bigfoot, Classic Horror, Evil, Fantasy, Foreign Horror, Nature Gone Wild, Science Fiction, Slashers, Vampires, Werewolves, Witches, Zombies with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on October 10, 2017 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Halloween Horrorthon

Insanely cool ad art to promote the upcoming 2017 Halloween Horrorthon on Saturday, October 21 at the Cinema Arts Centre in Huntington, NY. Presented by the groovy folk at Retro Picture Show, the all night horror movie marathon is scheduled to include 35mm screenings of Halloween 3: Season of the Witch (1982), House of 1000 Corpses (2003), Scream Blacula Scream (1973), Psycho III (1986), Tourist Trap (1979) and Frankenstein and the Monster from Hell (1974). All that’s missing are Horrorthon-branded pajamas and a mix ‘n match blankie.

Halloween Horrorthon

If you want the event poster, which designed by artist Marc Schoenbach and inspired by Halloween 3, its available as a 24” x 36” print, as well as a several versions of T-shirts. (What — no ’jammies?) And it won’t slash your wallet — most everything Horrorthon for sale is $20. Buy tickets to the marathon and e-purchase the goodie-goods HERE.

For those of us not within Uber™ spitting distance of Huntington, NY, here are a few just released/upcoming horror and sci-fi flicks that may or may not make you stain your jams…

Predatory Moon

PREDATORY MOON (available now)
Kyle Reading investigates an alleged bear attack where the survivor is showing unusual symptoms. Unfortunately for him, there is someone who sees an advantage to having a stranger in town who cries ‘werewolf’.”

Bears get all the credit every time someone sees something big and hairy in the woods. (Which is why I don’t venture into the underbrush to enjoy a private moment every now and again.) Even Bigfoot himself has been described as fake news and that he’s nothing more than a bear standing on two legs, all the while swinging his knuckle-dragging arms around as if on So You Think You Can Dance. Maybe its a were-bear. Common mistake.

Monsters Among Men

MONSTERS AMONG MEN (available now)
“An egocentric businessman awakens deep in the woods to find he has been abducted by a subversive group of vampires disguised and living among us. He must not only escape their clutches, but save his beloved girlfriend before time, the truth, and his kidnappers catch up with him.”

Geez, vampires desperate enough to kidnap egocentric businessmen? They must be really hungry to dine on corporate b-holes. Maybe we should open a blood bank and give all the vampires ATM cards. It’s the Christian thing to do.

The Virus

THE VIRUS (available now)
“A group of film students find a top secret test facility hidden in the wilderness. Unknown to them, the hospital was ground zero for a large-scale test of a truth serum based ten years earlier; a test that went disastrously wrong. Now infected with the deadly virus, the students fight against time, guards, each other and an inability to lie to find the truth.”

Cracks me up that scientists have been trying to develop a truth serum when alcohol has been doing a fine job of making people unbury their secrets since the dawn of time. In fact, I plan on having a six-pack of truth serum tonight.

Phillip K. Dick's Electric Dreams

PHILLIP K. DICK’S ELECTRIC DREAMS (2017/2018/Amazon Prime™)
“From the mind of the prolific sci-fi author, comes the new anthology series Philip K. Dick’s Electric Dreams. With 10 standalone episodes and a sweeping all-star cast, each epic story will explore fantasy, humanity, and a future we’ve only begun to imagine.”

Looking forward to this having been a fan of Phil back when I used to read. My first introduction was a high school book report on Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep? (1968). I thought I was gonna be reading about a sci-fi barnyard robot goat. Instead I got global thermonuclear war. Dang it. Cooler, though, are the sci-fi movies based on Dicky’s work: Blade Runner (1982), Total Recall (1990/2012), Minority Report (2002), A Scanner Darkly (2006), and The Adjustment Bureau (2011). P.S. This TV series, though, has already started airing in the UK. It’s on Channel 4 in case you live in the vicinity of a British television.

Undead Tribute, Get To Know Bigfoot, Death Personified

Posted in Aliens, Bigfoot, Classic Horror, Evil, Foreign Horror, Nature Gone Wild, Science Fiction, Slashers, Zombies with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on September 29, 2017 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

The Walking Dead

As hardcore The Walking Dead fans have burned into their iCalendars™, the 100th episode — and season eight AMC™ opener — happens on Sunday, October 22, 20017. (And you thought the total eclipse was worth watching.)

The Walking Dead

To celebrate/commemorate, TWD episode director/ makeup effects master Greg Nicotero teamed up with his insanity talented KNB FX design team to whip up some tasty tribute posters, all in the style of one of the coolest horror shows ever on TV. Included with the above slick tribute to Alien is zombie/star character homages to Back to the Future, The Thing, Thunderball and The Omega Man. Pretty swear word cool. (You can find them all by following Greg on Instagram™.)

As the countdown to The Walking Dead marches on, here are a few just released/upcoming horror/sci-fi movies that probably stole their ideas from all of the above…

Zombies

ZOMBIES (available now/VOD/Limited – October 31, 2017/DVD)
“When the world is in shambles, plagued by a zombie outbreak, only the strong will survive, but just how much determination will it take? Will Luke and his crew have enough ambition and ammunition to outlive the undead?”

The title and plot should tell you how high they set the bar for themselves. This is so stock, it should be sold in grocery stores next to canned soup and frozen TV dinners.

Death On Scenic Drive

DEATH ON SCENIC DRIVE (September 30, 3017/Hard Line Film Festival/Germany)
“During the cold winter months at a secluded countryside home, a young woman named Larissa encounters an entity that transforms her into Death itself. She reins violence against Dallas Henson and the family that resides there.”

Not sure why this one is being premiered in Germany when it’s Canadian-made. Bloody-Disgusting.com says Death On Scenic Drive is a “Gothic filled with gore, madness, weirdness, satanism and screeching, squelching music.” Sounds just like my upstairs neighbors on any given week night.

Discovering Bigfoot

DISCOVERING BIGFOOT (October 27, 2017/VOD/Limited)
“What we think we know of human origins and evolution is about to change forever as we discover the truth about a species that has remained elusive by outwitting and evading modern man for decades despite his best efforts. Journey into the heart of Sasquatch Country and experience three incredible days in the field with Bigfoot experts. This unprecedented feature film includes extraordinary never before seen Sasquatch footage that will shock the world. Witness a terrifying altercation between Sasquatch Researcher Todd Standing and three Sasquatch creatures in the wild.”

The trailer for this documentary purports to show “indisputable” photographic/video evidence of Bigfoot, and even go so far as to include a few snippets of said proof. I’m convinced — and you’re talkin’ to a guy who stands in line at the Puyallup Fair to get an autograph and a picture with a guy in a Bigfoot suit handing out hot tub clearance sale flyers. Say what you will about the mythical wood ape — that guy can sell ice cubes to an eskimo.

The Purge: Island

THE PURGE: ISLAND (July 4, 2018)
The Purge: Island is a prequel that will focus on the events that lead up to the very first Purge event, an experimental test on Staten Island.”

Cool, but I can’t wait for The Purge: Outer Space. In that one we get carte blanche to go all probe-y on those invasive aliens. They won’t know what violated their swimsuit/spacesuit area. Payback’s a b*tch, space b*tches — ha!

Finger Wicks, Knights Templar, Ego Horror

Posted in Evil, Foreign Horror, Ghosts, Nature Gone Wild, Science Fiction with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on September 19, 2017 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Halloween Candle

Always look forward to the new decorations they put on sale a Planet Halloween™ this time each year. While I’m a big fan of the classic (Whoopee Cushion™, Fart In A Can™, Electric Handshake Buzzer (you can use it on just about any body part), the new one I should buy with every bitcoin I can scrape up is the Halloween Wax Bleeding Hand Candle. Right out of the gate it reminds me of the hand in 1972’s made for TV horror, When Michael Calls. (The scene with Michael’s ghostly, manifested hand in a fishbowl that still makes my cushion go whoopee! every time)

Yeah, there’s been lots of bleeding hand candles before, but this one is the most realistic, especially if your name is Michael. And you can get one of this babies at CreepyCandles.net for a mere wallet-melting $35.00 bones ( no pun intended.) While you’re working your fingers to the bone (sorry) to come up with the appropriate digits (sorry), here are a few just released horror and sci-fi moves that may or may not set off your Whoopee! CushionJack Hunter's Paranoia

JACK HUNTER’S PARANOIA TAPES (available now)
“Jack Hunter presents a found footage movie that will surely put you on the edge of your seats and will send a chill down the bottom of your spine.”

Just when you thought a movie title and press release couldn’t get any more lazy/cliched. It’s one thing to present yourself as a filmmaker and put your own name in the title when all you’re doing is a found footage fare (no skill required). That’s like saying just because you tried out for American Idol™, that makes you a singer. Secondly, who the canned spray fart says “sends a chill down to the bottom of your spine” anymore? That is so hack, even my proctologist doesn’t use that phrase — and that procedure is so g’dam horrifying, it sends a chill down to my very bottom.

Stag Night

STAG NIGHT (available now)
“A satanic Knights Templar crosses paths with Brian and his paintball-loving friends in this supernatural horror tale. Five years after the squad broke up, Brian’s old buddies get back together for a reunion. When they visit a forest paintball park though, the reunited friends find a sinister force of evil awaiting the group.”

Great — they besmirch the legend of the terrifying Knights Templar by putting ‘em in a paintball park. What’s next — a Knights Templar Tupperware Party? These guys are known for revenge eating your soul. Now they’re just a punchline in YET ANOTHER dumbass teen “horror” movie. Kinda makes you wanna sell your gang-emblem tunic and go back to being a door-to-door sword salesman.

Mad Cow

MAD COW (2017)
“A crazed scientist creates a half-man, half-cow creature, which goes on the rampage at an African game lodge.”

Um, has any of these filmmakers ever heard of the Greek mythological creature, the Minotaur (half-man/half-bull) or more notably, The Island of Dr. Moreau? Moreau has been turning jungle animals into human hybrids since 1913. Which begs the question — if you try and milk the half-man/half cow, are you just looking for cereal milk, or are you a fetish freak trying to pleasure said creature for your sick and twisted desires? The correct answer is to just walk away.

Haunted Changi

HAUNTED CHANGI (available now)
“Old Changi Hospital is one of the most notoriously haunted places in the world. A group of filmmakers explore the famously haunted old Changi Hospital in Singapore with terrifying and tragic results.”

A foreign version of about, oh, 10 dozen American horror movies with the EXACT SAME PLOT. I did, however, look up Changi Hospital and it’s a real abandoned mental hospital. Apparently, Singapore has a pile of those laying around as well. My hard detective work (drinking a beer, clicking around the Internet) reveals that Changi’s buildings are said to be haunted by the souls of the victims of the Japanese Occupation, homeless ghosts and the spirits of those who died in the hospital. Is it just me or don’t we go to hospitals to not die? No wonder the place went out of business; no one left to pay the bill.

The Nurse Will Slay You Now

Posted in Classic Horror, Foreign Horror, Science Fiction, Scream Queens, TV Vixens with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on September 17, 2017 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Maniac Nurses Find Ecstasy

Despite its odd but scintillating title, Maniac Nurses Find Ecstasy (2009) is a filmed-in-Hungary erotic horror thriller released in the States by Troma where there is no thrill. For the viewer, anyway.Maniac Nurses Find Ecstasy

Two lesbian sisters surgically enhance caged supermodels in their jungle fortress in order to create a medical team of anatomically perfect (i.e., lingerie sexy) nurses. They hunt men and goon them out with machetes and other mood-killing weapons.

Maniac Nurses Find Ecstasy

Lots of bras, boobs, bullets and a sprinkling of blood. If you’re into that sort of thing, which I’m thinkin’ you might be if you’re reading this blog. (You paid full retail price, yes?)

Maniac Nurses Find Ecstasy

Oddly, this Maniac Nurses drags and has kill sequences so lame as to not be all that tingly. And to think the women’s underwear section of the Sears™ catalog was all it took to get me amped up. Look what watching countless horror movies have done to me. I feel so in the lobby of shame.

Horror Legends, Crapping Aliens, Cowboy Grave Risers

Posted in Aliens, Classic Horror, Evil, Foreign Horror, Ghosts, Nature Gone Wild, Science Fiction, UFOs with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on September 16, 2017 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Harry Dean Stanton

Sad to report the passing of another another horror/sci-fi movie icon, Harry Dean Stanton (July 14, 1926 – September 15, 2017), whom I first saw as the affable Brett in Alien (1979). He was the first to make the Xenomorph’s to-do in list. In all, Harry starred in nearly 200 movies/TV shows, notably Escape From New York (1981), Christine (1983), Repo Man (1984), and even a small part in The Avengers (2012). (He saw The Hulk naked.)

Tobe Hooper

And on this note, I was remiss in reporting the earlier passing of horror icon movie maker, Tobe Hooper (January 25, 1943 – August 26, 2017), the man behind Texas Chain Saw Massacre (1974), Eaten Alive (1976), Salem’s Lot (1979), Poltergeist (1982), Invaders From Mars (1986), The Mangler (1995) and was a big part of the Masters of Horror series (2005) and many more. (Tobe even did the Billy Idol video, “Dancing With Myself.”)

I’ve watched all these movies, sometimes over and over (I’m looking in your direction Alien and your endless repackaging.) To say these men had an impact on my neverending love for horror and sci-fi is an understatement. Thank you, gentlemen — your work gave me a very rewarding life.

Here are a few just-released horror/sci-fi that may not exist without the talents and influence of Harry Dean Stanton and Tobe Hooper

5th Kind

5TH KIND (available now)
“Three best friends try to get ‘internet famous’ by filming their own survival show out in the woods. A weekend trip to accomplish this project turns deadly when a mysterious and very foreign visitor ends up in their neck of the woods.”

This movie — which is not a sequel to The Fourth Kind (2009) — answers the question, do aliens crap in the woods. The key art gives it away, minus the doo doo part. I don’t wanna see that on any poster. Except Rise of Toilet Man. I hear it’s overflowing with horror. Ahem.

KM 31-2

KM 31-2 (available now)
Martin Ugalde is the detective who led the investigation into a series of mysterious deaths on a benighted stretch of road surrounded by woodland. Having been disgraced and even incarcerated for failing to solve the original case, he is now back on the case. Meanwhile, young Ágata, who awoke from a coma at the end of the original, is now possessed by an evil spirit.”

This one came out in Mexico on October 31, 2016, or so they say. I was not able to get into Mexico to verify. I kept being deported. The title is in reference to a road with the KM part being either kilometer or “kill-o-meter.” Kinda wondering how they work in the “possessed by and evil spirit” angle. It could be a simple, solveable case of eating a bad burrito.

Capps CrossingCAPPS CROSSING (available now)
“10 years ago David left his girlfriend Tracy all alone in the forest after she broke up with him. Tracy never made it back to camp alive. Every year David returns to pay his respects at Capps Crossing, the site of her death. After years of built up pain, anger and guilt he loses his mind and takes it out on a group of campers that chose Capps Crossing for their weekend getaway. There’s just one rule at Capps Crossing…never be alone.”

This one might get weak plot of the year award. And by the way, Tracy’s not dead — she’s breaking up with some other dude at Dumpsville, just down the road apiece.

Dead Again In Tombstone

DEAD AGAIN IN TOMBSTONE (available now)
Guerrero (Danny Trejo) returns from the dead to protect a stolen relic from falling into the hands of a gang of soldiers, which will ultimately cause Hell upon earth.”

The great Danny Trejo doing his best Jonah Hex in this country western horror cheapie. And Jonah Hex (2010) was just a cowboy version of The Crow (1994). But instead of a crow bringing you back across the veil of death, it was a donkey, or “sand kangaroo.”