Archive for the Foreign Horror Category

Million Dollar Monster, Undying House, Stinky Horror

Posted in Asian Horror, Classic Horror, Evil, Foreign Horror, Ghosts, Nature Gone Wild, Science Fiction, Zombies with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 8, 2018 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Llamageddon

Though reported by Bloody-Disgusting.com, Llamageddon (2018) — a new indie horror movie as of this e-scribbling — has been making steaming piles of news all over the Internet. While the cost to stream movies of any genre ranges from .99 cents to $6.99 (and above), Llamageddon’s price on Amazon.com is over…ONE MILLION DOLLARS.

Llamageddon

Not joking, though it probably is a joke — and not just the title. It’s either a typo, a clever way to get publicity, or it’s for real. I’m thinkin’ the second one, though if some idiot with more money than brains rented it at full price, he/she just gave the filmmakers an early Christmas — for the next 10 years.

In case you have more money than brains, here’s the plot: “A killer llama from outer space crash lands on Earth and begins reigning havoc on a group of unsuspecting college students.” Why do I get the feeling someone’s reaching for their wallet right now?

Llamageddon

If you want slightly more affordable barnyard horror, try Black Sheep (2006) from New Zealand. In that one, the fuzzy creatures don’t come from space, but rather are genetically tinkered, which turns them into ferocious people-eaters. You wouldn’t think that was cool, but it is.

But for now, here are a few now available/upcoming horror/sci-fi movies that may or may not drain your 401k…

The Ghost Beyond

THE GHOST BEYOND (available now)
“A struggling novelist moves his wife and young son to an old country home, but when a presence begins to communicate with his son, the family must escape an evil that threatens to doom them to the house for eternity.”

Same old plot, same old story, same old struggling novelist. And since when are novelists not struggling? And how can they afford an old country home in which to struggle? I say let the evil take the mom and kid, and then move into a nice, AFFORDABLE studio apartment that never dies.

The House That Never Dies: Reawakening

THE HOUSE THAT NEVER DIES: THE REAWAKENING (available now)
“The sequel to the 2014 hit film The House That Never Dies is based on true events that took place at the spookiest of Beijing’s Four Oriental Haunted Houses. The story takes place a hundred years after a mutiny by warlords in Beijing when an expert in cultural relics encounters supernatural phenomena at the mansion on 81 Chaoyangmennei Street.”

Chaoyangmennei Street? Try spelling that right on the first five tries when calling for Lyft™. P.S. You wouldn’t think so, but you still have to add a ghost if you’re doing a shared ride. And yes, it costs the same as adding non-ghosts.

Pledge

PLEDGE (January 11, 2019)
“Frat life has never been so scary. And we don’t mean the recent wave of headlines and controversies. Inspired by the rise of the ‘social’ thriller, Pledge promises to take a centuries-old American tradition to new extremes and explore the power dynamics that have led to so many deaths on American campuses.”

Yeah, I’m thinkin’ no to this one.

Respira

RESPIRA (2018/2019)
Leonardo gets a job as a fumigator pilot in the soybean fields and moves with his family to the countryside. When he starts working, he discovers a dark secret that will put him and his family in danger.”

The dark secret is you can’t really fumigate anything with the word “bean” in it.

UFO Engineering, Mothman Sightings, Demon Trackers

Posted in Asian Horror, Asian Sci-Fi, Bigfoot, Evil, Fantasy, Foreign Horror, Nature Gone Wild, Science Fiction, UFOs, Zombies with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 5, 2018 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Mothman

Just in time to distract us from a seemingly endless string of horrifying, political news cycles the creepy yet cool, Mothman returns to flitter around the spotlight.

According to a recent article on AbsoluteHistory.com, Mothman was not only seen but photographed. Here’s what the article, written by 1636wpczar, had to report…

Mothman

“It had been a Friday night like any other in Chicago for John Amitrano. As he took a step outside the bar where he was working, however, he apparently noticed something strange in the sky above him. And according to Amitrano, the figure looked just like an ominous creature that people have been claiming to see in the U.S. for the past 50 years.”

Mothman Museum

Mothman was in Chicago and was spotted by a guy leaving a bar? Doesn’t sound suspicious to me at all.

Old Style

While we all share a few gallons of Chicago’s Old Style™ (canned beer that tastes like a cryptid p*ssed in it — oddly, not a bad thing) and stagger out and look for the ominous creatures, here are a few now available/upcoming horror/sci documentaries/movies that may or may not look better when viewed under the influence of a few gallons of Old Style™…

Bob Lazar: Area 51 and Flying Saucers

BOB LAZAR: AREA 51 & FLYING SAUCERS (available now)
Former Government physicist Bob Lazar made headlines world-wide in 1989 when he came forward with his account of reverse-engineering an alien spacecraft for the U.S. Military. His testimony remains the most controversial and important UFO story of all time. The documentary explores Lazar’s groundbreaking claims and the devastating impact it has had on his life over the course of the last thirty years, including rare and never before revealed footage guaranteed to alter the landscape of the debate. He blew the whistle, shocked the world, then went silent — until now.

I’ve heard Bob Lazar’s story for some time now and I believe he not only worked on reverse-engineering captured UFOs, but actually got inside one and poked around. I only have one question: what was in the flying saucer’s glove compartment? The truth is out there and I want to believe.

Brutal Bigfoot

BRUTAL BIGFOOT (available now)
“Join the Searching for Bigfoot field team – led by ‘The Godfather of Bigfoot‘ Tom Biscardi, as they get more than they bargained for when investigating the disappearance of a hiker and the mutilation of a couple deep in the remote Arkansas countryside. During their search, Tom and his team are led to a top secret nuclear testing facility and mutated creatures that reportedly inhabit the woods surrounding the compound. Along the way they gain the unwanted attention of unknown government agents who watch their every move as they search for the truth behind brutal deaths and strange disappearances that are rumored to involve a very large creature.

This one came out a short whilst ago, but it slipped past my radar, mostly due to the fact Tom Biscardi is involved. The self-proclaimed “Godfather of Bigfoot” has been involved in several high-profile, epic FAIL Bigfoot hoaxes in the past and is pretty much a loudmouth out there once again trying to cash in on Bigfoot’s good name. Did it work? Scorecard: Bigfoot: 3 / Tom Biscardi: 0.

Demon's Path

DEMON’S PATH (December 22, 2018)
“The series follows a forensic pathologist who has the ability to see the last 10-seconds of life of the dead. Working together with a friendly exorcist and a policeman, they solve homicide cases. But as their investigations proceed, they become the target of a murderer.”

Never saw any of this popular series as it’s done in Hong Kong and my TV can’t reach that far. I think I need a bigger antennae (hold your jokes, please). The premise, though, seems to borrow from iZombie, wherein a zombie pathologist eats the brains of corpses brought into the coroner’s office and she adopts the personality traits of the dead personage and gets flashbacks as to how that personage died and who died ‘em.

The Demonologist

THE DEMONOLOGIST (January 1, 2019)
A detective is haunted by nightmares of his past and visions he cannot understand. When he investigates a string of brutal murders, he discovers a Cult that worships the four King Demons of Hell, who plan on bringing them forth to destroy the Earth. He must stop the Cult from starting the Apocalypse and finally come to grips with his birthright and destiny as The Demonologist.

Sounds like a rearranging of The Last Witch Hunter (2015) starring Vin Diesel. Man, that movie stunk as bad as a brutal Bigfoot.

Unsafe Werewolf Sex

Posted in Foreign Horror, Nature Gone Wild, TV Vixens, Werewolves with tags , , , , , , , , , , , on December 2, 2018 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Wilderness

Alice has a problem — she’s an attractive chick (not quite Victoria Secrets™ good-looking; more like JC Penney’s™ catalog cute) in her sexual prime. And she’s a SWF— single wolfy female.

Wilderness

Alice has one-hour meaningful relationships with guys she picks up at hotels across town, but still can’t seem to quench her unbearable thirst for full moon love. She tells her psychiatrist/vet that she’s a wolf, but of course, she’s not taken seriously. (There were no fire hydrants around for her to prove it.)

Wilderness

Then Alice meets a guy who she falls for, and eventually tells him her big hairy secret. He ain’t buying it, either. So she’s all distraught and unhappy because she wants to hang out in the woods on all fours. But her shrink wants to do it doggy style, and she’s thinkin’ that’s a big no, so she transforms (rather cheesily) in front of him, growing hair well past her bikini zone.

Wilderness

Not quite a horror story, but rather, puppy love. The acting is surprisingly good and there’s lots of naked goings on, which makes up for the lack of neck-mangling special effects. But what the fudge; Wilderness (1996 and planned as a British mini-series) is at least a varied take on the werewolf theme. Wish I could find that hotel, though.

Smack-Talking Computers, Possessed Ubers, The Curse of Seagulls

Posted in Aliens, Classic Horror, Evil, Foreign Horror, Ghosts, Giant Monsters, Godzilla, Nature Gone Wild, Science Fiction, Zombies with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on November 30, 2018 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

HAL

Remember HAL 9000 (Heuristically programmed ALgorithmic), the sentient super computer with a human personality, in the groundbreaking sci-fi movie, 2001: A Space Odyssey (which ironically was done in 1968)? Now CASE (Cognitive Architecture for Space Exploration) is making a new HAL — which spells doom for all us astronauts (I’m almost done with my online courses, so yeah, I’m an astronaut, b*tches!)

Hal/Who

2001: A Space Odyssey, as you likely know, was infamously produced and directed by fake moon landing movie maker, Stanley Kubrick from an Arthur C. Clark short story, Sentinel of Eternity (1951). In 2001, HAL, the computer not only talks, but talks back, overrides human commands and secretly has a directive to investigate a radio signal sent from that mysterious, featureless Monolith. (The Who — lunar British rock band — symbolically peed on it for the cover of their rhythmic beats album, Who’s Next/1971. Disrespectful, but very rock). The crew of Discovery One should’ve waited to see what happened to the staff of the deep space Nostromo in Alien (1979). Ash (Hyperdyne Systems 120-A/2 android), their super computer in the clever guise of a stink human, pulled the exact same sh*t and look what happened there.

CASE

Pretty much everybody (except me) owns their own personal HAL, though they call it Alexa/Siri/Google. My dire warning to you is to not trust any of those convenient smart home devices and make sure you don’t involuntarily get locked out of your house/deep space vessel.

HAL

While you contemplate machines taking over the world, here are a few upcoming horror/sci-fi movies that may or may not digitally sever your oxygen hose…

Beyond White Space

BEYOND WHITE SPACE (December 14, 2018)
“The captain of a deep-space vessel makes a daring decision to go after a rare and nearly extinct species. His obsession soon jeopardizes the mutinous crew when the gigantic and deadly creature attacks the ship.”

Sounds like Moby Dick in space. The trailer is pretty cool — there’s a mega big gigantic huge Godzilla-esque monster floating around, looking for spaceship flavored snacks. The deep-space vessel may as well put a Fritos™ logo on the side of their ship.

Supergrid

SUPERGRID (December 18, 2018)
“Two estranged brothers travel the notorious ‘Grid’ in their quest to collect and deliver a mysterious cargo. En route they must contend with road pirates, rebel gangs, and each other.”

The plot of traveling across the danger-enhanced apocalyptic wastelands steal from dozens of other same-plot movies/TV shows, but also the morning work commute. 

The Car: Road To Revenge

THE CAR: ROAD TO REVENGE (January 8, 2019)
“In a dilapidated cyberpunk city plagued by crime and corruption, an unscrupulous District Attorney is savagely murdered and tossed out of a building onto his brand new car. Mysteriously, the District Attorney and his car come back to life as a single being with a thirst for vengeance. The eerie driver-less car embarks on a vicious rampage exacting revenge on the criminals who murdered him.”

They’re calling this a “stylized sequel” to the 1977 movie called, The Car, wherein a possessed vehicle runs people down and parks on their faces. The lead character was James Brolin, who later went on to The Amityville Horror infamy. He seems nice.

Curse of the Blind Dead

CURSE OF THE BLIND DEAD (2019)
“In the Thirteen century, a group of Satan worshipers, the Knight Templars, is captured during a ritual and brutally murdered by the locals. Just before the execution, the Knights swear to return from their graves to haunt the village and the nearby forest. Centuries later, in a post-apocalyptic future, a man and his daughter try to survive against both the Undead Knights and a sect commanded by a mad preacher.”

Sound familiar? It should — it’s a continuation of the early Seventies Italian-filmed Blind Dead series (Tombs of the Blind Dead/1971, The Return of the Blind Dead/1973, The Ghost Galleon/1974, Night of the Seagulls/1975). Blind dead Templar Knights out for revenge are certainly scary. But man, don’t get in a dust up with seagulls — those things always know when you wash your car and will unleash their coordinated crap attacks on your just-cleaned hood and door handle. (How do they manage such accuracy? Geez.)

Bookended By Godzilla, Zombie Blood, Alien Park Job

Posted in Aliens, Classic Horror, Evil, Foreign Horror, Giant Monsters, Godzilla, Science Fiction, Slashers, UFOs, Zombies with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on November 27, 2018 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Godzilla

Looking for a Christmas present to buy for me this year? I already took care of your shopping — go to Etsy.com and click over to Mokushop’s, um, shop, and you’ll find awesome, under $70 custom wooden hand-chiseled bookends.

Kraken

With TV around, I don’t do books, so you’ll have to buy me some to go with ‘em as well. But for a chance to own either the Godzilla and/or Kraken (giant octopus) bookends, it might be worth my time to learn how to read.

Godzilla Coloring Book

These things are “extremely limited”, so you’ll have to hurry, Don’t worry about wrapping ‘em as I’ll already know what they are. Thanks for the thought, though. Very Christmas-y of you.

While I wait for you to ship the bookends to me, here are a few upcoming horror/sci-fi movies that may or may not be worth as much as chiseled wood…

Christmas Blood

CHRISTMAS BLOOD (December 4, 2018)
Christmas is a time of peace, love and family. But not for Norway as a psychopath dressed in a Santa Claus suit has been terrorizing them for the past 13 years. For as soon as the caroling starts, this demented Kris Kringle dispenses bloody ax blows regardless of whether you’ve been bad or good. As the holiday approaches on one snow-covered town filled with revelers, a pair of detectives work against time to find and arrest this bearded serial killer. Will they manage to stop this demented St. Nick before he kills again?”

As of this holiday season, there are 100,000 horror movies about serial killer/psychopath Santa Claus killers. Know what I want for Christmas for a change? No more of these same-plot movies.

Attraction

ATTRACTION (December 4, 2018)
Moscow finds itself on the brink of destruction after a mysterious spaceship crash-lands in the center of the city. While the government seeks to find out what the ship’s passengers want and how to protect the local population, the rest of the city residents break into conflicting factions. Some view the aliens as a threat that should be extinguished, while others hope that the visitors are peaceful and offer an opportunity to learn more about the world beyond. When a young woman finds herself torn between her seemingly normal life and the alluring promise offered by one of the all-too-human extraterrestrials, the fate of the entire world is left hanging in the balance.”

A social commentary on immigrants or a poorly-named sci-fi movie about aliens parking downtown wherever they want? You already know the answer.

Johnny Z

JOHNNY Z (2019)
“A half human, half zombie named Johnny, holds the cure to the zombie epidemic. After escaping Nordac, an experimental medical prison, Johnny comes under the guidance of a martial arts Grandmaster named Jonray who agrees under a dying wish to protect and embarks on a journey to find a missing doctor while battling personal demons.”

Sounds like Johnny Z is just another name for Murphy, the half human/half zombie in Z Nation zombie apocalypse TV series on the SyFy™ Channel whose inner gunk holds the cure for un-zombie-ing. Wonder if they’re blood brothers?

The Vanishing

THE VANISHING (2019)
“On an uninhabited island 20 miles from the rugged Scottish coast, three lighthouse keepers arrive for their six week shift. As Thomas, James and Donald settle into their usual, solitary routines, something unexpected and potentially life-changing occurs — they stumble upon something that isn’t theirs to keep. Where did it come from? Who does it belong to? A boat appears in the distance that might hold the answer to these questions. What follows is a tense battle for survival as personal greed replaces loyalty — and fed by isolation and paranoia, three honest men are led down a path to destruction.”

They don’t say what it is they discovered. But after a minimum amount of thought, it can only be one thing for a the isolated men on that remote island; a supermodel.

Future Fashion, Skin It To Win It, Cartoon Cryptid

Posted in Bigfoot, Classic Horror, Evil, Foreign Horror, Giant Monsters, Nature Gone Wild, Science Fiction with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on November 20, 2018 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Escape From New York

Here’s one for the WTF Files — Sideshow Collectibles is selling an exact replica of the countdown watch Snake Plissken (Kurt Russell) wore in the sci-fi classic, Escape From New York (1981). The Lifeclock One Snake Edition Smartwatch Prop Replica made by Ridgewood Watch Co. certainly paid attention to the details. But presumably the watch isn’t loaded with micro-explosives that will rupture your carotid arteries if you fail some sort of mission.

Snake Plissken

From the press release: “The Lifeclock one features a countdown, 22:59’:59” (Hartford Summit configuration only), standard and military time options, the ability to program up to 8 world clocks, display the date in 1 of 5 formats, stopwatch, 18 display animations and 8 character animations. With the app you can access the smartphone camera shutter release, push notifications of incoming and missed calls, voicemails, SMS & iMessage, app notifications (Facebook, Twitter, Snapchat, Pinterest, LinkedIn, and more to come). The activity monitor tracks steps independent of your smartphone. A customizable daily alarm is also included.”

Escape From New York

That’s a wrist-full. But here’s the real mind-blower — the oversized time piece, which doesn’t go with anything except combat spandex, is $399.00. If you’re so inclined to burn money, order yours by clicking HERE. If not, then here are a few now available/upcoming horror/sci-fi movies that may or may not rupture your carotid arteries and/or combat spandex…

The Outer Wild

THE OUTER WILD (available now)
“In this post-apocalyptic frontier western, mankind has given way to a new breed of beast, mutated from man. The survivor Laura may be the cure to these mutations but she flees to save herself. Aided by a hunter sent to catch her, she braves the dangerous unnatural wilderness in order to find a fabled refuge of freedom — and only there will she discover the fate of humanity at the end of the world.”

Apparently, this came out in September of the lost year of 2018. I must’ve been doing my laundry and the darn thing went right over my boxed detergent. As for the fabled refuge of freedom, that may be what they call it in the Apocalypse. But in the here and now we call it “7-Eleven™”.

PERFECT SKIN (August 25, 2018/UK | 2019 U.S.)
“This independent British feature film explores tattooing and body modification, and follows Katia, a young Polish woman, and her relationship with a mysterious tattoo artist — taking a dark turn as her fascination with him grows.”

I find the only way to get perfect skin is to use Scrubbing Bubbles™ followed by a moisturizing coat of floor wax. Most brands do the trick. P.S. Don’t do that — you might bump into me and get it all over my KISS t-shirt.

The Intruder

THE INTRUDER (2018/2019)
“A young married couple buy a beautiful Napa Valley home only to find that the man they bought it from refuses to let go of the property…and he slowly terrorizes them.”

The trailer for this one is nut house and goes straight to crazy town. And if you look closely enough, you’ll see nods to The Shining (1980) and Psycho (1960). I proclaim that to be quite cool.

Missing Link

MISSING LINK (April 12, 2019)
Meet Mr. Link: 8 feet tall, 630 lbs, and covered in fur, but don’t let his appearance fool you…he is funny, sweet, and adorably literal, making him the world’s most lovable legend. Tired of living a solitary life in the Pacific Northwest, Mr. Link recruits fearless explorer Sir Lionel Frost to guide him on a journey to find his long-lost relatives in the fabled valley of Shangri-La. Along with adventurer Adelina Fortnight, our fearless trio of explorers encounter more than their fair share of peril as they travel to the far reaches of the world to help their new friend.”

Normally, I wouldn’t beer fever dream of putting up an animated family film for preview, but this one’s about Bigfoot, though they don’t call him that. (Mr. Link? Yeesh.) They also give away his weight. Good thing he’s a dude; if this was a female cryptid, cartoon or not, you’d likely get your face smashed in. A safer way to skirt (sorry) the weight issue is to just say, “Why, no — all that fur doesn’t make you look at all fat.”

A Slew of Superheroes, Devil Sex, Heavy Metal Babysitters

Posted in Classic Horror, Evil, Fantasy, Foreign Horror, Ghosts, Nature Gone Wild, Science Fiction, Slashers, TV Vixens, Zombies with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on November 3, 2018 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Elseworlds

The ratings winning CW Network is heavily pushing Elseworlds, a crossover event that takes place on December 9, 2018 on The Flash, continuing on December 10, 2018 on Arrow (as in Green Arrow), and concluding on December 11, 2018 on Supergirl. I know what I’ll be doing for three days in December.

The Flash

This one’s gonna be epic as it finally introduces Lois Lane (Superman’s “friends with benefits”), Batgirl (insert excited slobbering here), and the returning John Wesley Shipp, who played Jay Garrick in The Flash as a multiverse speedster. He seems nice.

Elseworlds

Here’s the upsell: The Flash and Arrow switch pants. Then they change their clothes again — as does Superman — to all black. (I’ve been doing that for years.) And just when you think it could be any more mind-bending, John Wesley Shipp appears as The Flash in his old costume from when he played the Flash back in the 1990 TV series and will be called Barry Allen. My mind is a fried egg right now.

Elseworlds

In the new Flash series, Shipp played Henry Allen, Barry’s dad, and was killed by Flash nemesis, Zoom. (Weird to have a metahuman named after a breakfast cereal.) Now he’s back to play the Flash like he did before his hair turned grey.

Elseworlds

There’s lots more happening in Elseworlds, so don’t think of any of this as spoilers, but rather Fritos™ and bean dip before the big dinner. But before you go to the store to stock up on Fritos™ and bean dip, here are a few upcoming horror/sci-fi movies that may or may not give you grey hair…

Luciferina

LUCIFERINA (November 20, 2018/DVD | December 4, 2018 / Digital HD)
Natalia is a 19-year-old who reluctantly returns home to say goodbye to her dying father. But when she meets up with her sister and her friends, she decides instead to travel the jungle in search of a mystical plant. Instead of pleasure, they find a world of Black Masses, strange pregnancies, bloody deaths and perhaps, a sexually violent clash with the Devil himself.”

A sexually violent clash with the Devil. That’s a lot to unpack. Think this one came out last March, 2108 in some country that is foreign to me. But hey, Devil sex, magic plants, black masses — no doubt you could find those things in any civilized country/bowling alley.

Ghost in the Graveyard

GHOST IN THE GRAVEYARD (2018/2019)
A small town comes under the thumb of Martha, a vengeful ghost who returns to haunt the children who witnessed her death during a game of Ghost in the Graveyard in their youth. Long blamed for the accident, Sally Sullivan must figure out why Martha has returned and how to get her to rest in peace for good. As the mystery of her return unravels, deep secrets are revealed that will have consequences for everyone involved.”

Back from the dead, revenge, murder, blah, blah, bah. This premise is so overdone, it’s like dry meatloaf — and there’s not enough ketchup in the world to make it taste any better. For a slightly better version, try Darkness Falls (2003). That one has a teen in it.

Shed of the Dead

SHED OF THE DEAD (2019)
Trevor is between jobs. He spends his days avoiding his nagging wife by hiding out in his allotment shed and painting figurines for his war-games with his agoraphobic friend, Graham, and dreaming of his heroic alter-ego, the battle mage Casimir the Destroyer. When Mr. Parsons, one of the other allotment tenants, petitions to have Trevor removed from his disgrace of a plot (he’s not there to grow stuff!) an argument ensues that leaves Trevor with a corpse to hide. Unfortunately, this untimely accident coincides with the zombie apocalypse and Mr Parsons’ return is just the beginnings of Trevor’s problems. More pressing is whether or not he should try and save his wife and her beautiful best friend, who both he and Graham have a thing for.

Yeow, what a hot mess of a plot. Only thing missing is dry meatloaf.

Babysitter Massacre: Heavy Metal

BABYSITTER MASSACRE: HEAVY METAL (in production)
Billy Dragg breaks things off with his girlfriend and subsequently goes on a murder spree. But is he in control, or is the ghost of Viper, a dead heavy metal superstar, influencing Billy’s actions?”

Push in your stool — this will take a minute. The guy who brought us 2013’s Babysitter Massacre is not done massacring temp rental guardians. Babysitter Massacre II: Slay Bells takes place around Christmas, a few weeks after the first movie. Then follows Babysitter Massacre III: Overnight, starring a different slasher. Anything worth doing is worth overdoing, hence Babysitter Massacre: Heavy Metal. These were all funded by Kickstarter™, so don’t expect a lot of different knives or clothes. Not sure what a ghost of a heavy metal superstar has to do with changing diapers, but hey, might as well come at it with that fabled open mind people keep telling me to use.