Surreal, grim and taboo enough to make the needle on the moral compass start gooning out, Horrors of Malformed Men (aka Horror of a Deformed Man) is about a guy searching for his father and ends up on an island full of naked chicks, half-human/half goats and his mom who lives in a cave by the ocean and eats live sea crabs without the benefit of dipping sauce.
This cult horror film is still banned in Japan to this day. I don’t see what the big deal is; So what that dad is a mentally rearranged tweeker with a melted hand whose vision is to create a race of malformed men in order for the world to suffer as he has? Cut the guy some slack, for cryin’ out loud.
And those naked chicks swimming in the water? They’re fish. And those naked chicks sucking on tubes attached to open wounds in their stomach? They’re hungry. And those naked chicks spray-painted head-to-toe in silver and gold? They’re shiny.
Of course, I’m just highlighting some of the highlights. The topless torso of a woman sewn onto the body of a goat reminded me of that kindly ’ol Dr. Moreau, who made animals into men. But as datable as Goat Woman might be (take her out to dinner – she’ll eat anything), it was the 200 or so topless gals that made my pants feel nice.
The ending of Horrors of Malformed Men leaves one speechless. Be warned that this was in 1969, so don’t expect explicit gore or sex, just a lot of boobies and madness. The story is heavy in its complexity, but hey – naked fish and goat chicks!