Archive for the Science Fiction Category

Game Sharks, Evil Warehouses, Dreadful Angels

Posted in Asian Horror, Asian Sci-Fi, Classic Horror, Evil, Foreign Horror, Ghosts, Nature Gone Wild, Science Fiction, Sharks, Vampires, Werewolves, Witches with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on February 16, 2019 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Jaws

If you’re looking to do some pre-Christmas shopping done, there is no better gift to get me than the new Jaws board game by Ravensburger. And here’s the supremely cool part — one player gets to be the shark!

Jaws

Coming late June 2019, the Jaws board game will bite into your wallet for $30. Heck, I’d pay at least $35 for such a cool game. Here’s why…

Jaws

“Like Steven Spielberg’s classic film, Jaws the board game plays out in two major acts. The first part has the player controlling the shark terrorizing Amity Island by attacking swimmers, while up to three other opponents — playing as Quint, Brody, and Hooper — try to cooperatively figure out exactly where the shark is hiding in the surrounding murky depths. Once the shark is located, the game switches to a second act.”

While you fight over who gets to buy me the game, here are a few upcoming horror/sci-fi movies/TV series that may or may not be as ridiculously cool as a cardboard shark

1st Summoning

1st SUMMONING (February 22, 2019)
“As four student filmmakers unearth a bizarre history of occult practice tied to an abandoned warehouse, it becomes clear the horror they set out to document may have been lurking among them all along.”

Of course abandoned warehouses are where evil lives — the rent is cheap.

Stray

STRAY (March 1, 2019)
“An orphaned teenager teams up with the detective investigating her mother’s murder. They soon discover a supernatural force threatening the city and realize the teen possesses hidden powers of her own which might be the key to stopping it.”

Potential spoiler: The supernatural force threatening everyone is…REPUBLICANS. Time for Democrats to tap into their hidden powers and veto them back to Hell.

Darlin'

DARLIN’ (2019)
Darlin’ picks up 10 years after the events of The Woman, when the titular character escaped with the then-young Darlin’ in tow. Now Darlin’ in is a Catholic home for girls while the Woman resides in an all-female homeless encampment.”

Didn’t see The Woman (2011), so I have no idea what they’re talking about. I looked it up and it was a sequel to Offspring (2009). Didn’t see that one, either. The internet says it was about cannibals. Sounds yummy.

Penny Dreadful: City of Angels

PENNY DREADFUL: CITY OF ANGELS (2020)
City of Angels will be set in 1938 Los Angeles, a time and place deeply infused with Mexican-American folklore and social tension. Rooted in the conflict between characters connected to the deity Santa Muerte and others allied with the Devil, Penny Dreadful: City of Angels will explore an exciting mix of the supernatural and the combustible reality of that period, creating new occult myths and moral dilemmas within a genuine historical backdrop.”

If this is even half as good as the Penny Dreadful TV series (2014 – 2016), which starred Count Dracula, Dr. Frankenstein and his science project, Dr. Jekyll, Dorian Gray, the Wolf-Man and a bunch of witches thrown in for flavor, then I plan on spending all my waking time binge watching it.

Icy Horror, Nazi Snowballs, Dumb Artificial Intelligence

Posted in Classic Horror, Evil, Foreign Horror, Nature Gone Wild, Science Fiction, Vampires with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on February 10, 2019 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Seattle snow

All this apocalyptic Seattle snow (the worst in 70 years, according to the panicking news) got me in the mood to watch a few guilty pleasure snow horror movies, the irony being that we’re buried in huge, steaming piles of snow with more predicted to seal us in igloo coffins.

Seattle snow

I have The Day After Tomorrow (2004), 30 Days of Night (2007), Dead Snow (2009), The Last Winter (2006), Frozen (2010/the teen horror movie, not the same-titled Disney horror movie), and Unnatural (2015) queued up. All that’s left to do now is crack an ice cold beer and chill. Heh.

Seattle snow

While we’re waiting to thaw out — probably by the end of March — here are a few upcoming horror/sci-fi movies that may or may not bite like frost…

The House

THE HOUSE (March 5, 2019)
“Set in the frozen wilderness of Norway during WWII, two German soldiers escort a Norwegian soldier and prisoner of war, but the weather is taking a toll on them. They find an empty house near the forest where they finally can get some rest. However, what seems to be a warm and welcoming shelter turns much more sinister and deadly. They begin to wonder if they have somehow have stepped into a sort of psychological hell from which there may be no escape.”

Finally — Nazis on the other end of the pain stick. I bet they start a snowball fight to end all snowball fights.

Demon Eye

DEMON EYE (2019)
“A young girl returns to her father’s country house in the Moors following his mysterious death. There, she finds a cursed amulet that will grant her greatest wish, but at a price.”

The cursed amulet that grants me my greatest wish is a beer bottle.

Ami

AMI (2019)
Cassie has become a recluse ever since her mother died in a car accident. In an effort to fill the void, she downloads AMI, the latest intelligent personal assistant. As their relationship quickly deepens into a twisted co-dependency, Cassie falls deeper and deeper under AMI’s spell; not realizing that everyone she knows is in serious danger.”

I wish I had artificial intelligence.

Artistic Horror, Getting High With Evil, Big Birds

Posted in Aliens, Evil, Foreign Horror, Ghosts, Giant Monsters, Nature Gone Wild, Science Fiction, Zombies with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on February 8, 2019 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Stefan Koidl

Found some incredibly stunning horror/sci-fi art by shockingly talented Stefan Koidl. So visually disturbing are his paintings, the elegantly sick cool images could be made into horror movies.

Stefan Koidl

Stefan is a freelance illustrator/concept artist who lives in Hallein, Austria. I looked it up on Google Maps™. It’s kinda far from where I live. But you can visit his website on ArtStation.com by clicking HERE. It’s here you’ll find unique creatures, monsters, demons, robots and apocalyptic visions that usually accompany a Jägermeister binge.

Stefan Koidl

While you sober up, here are a few upcoming horror movies that may or may not have you needing a shot or three of Jägermeister to get through…

Dark Light

DARK LIGHT (2019)
“Following her mother’s death and a painful divorce Annie and her daughter move back to her childhood home. At first, everything seems fine but then tragedy strikes again when on a foggy night Emily goes missing from her bedroom. Annie claims that she saw something come from the darkness and take Emily…a creature. Nobody believes her. But when Emily’s body is not found Annie becomes the prime suspect and is sent to a correctional hospital. Annie must now escape the hospital and return to the house to confront the creature that she believes has stolen her daughter.”

YET ANOTHER generic plot with a generic title. I tried to count how many movies had the word “dark” in it. Got up to one million before I lost track. So, like, figure one million and one.

The Hoard

THE HOARD (2019)
The Hoard is a comedy/horror mockumentary that chronicles the unraveling of a production team who are attempting to produce the ultimate reality TV show pilot ‘Extremely Haunted Hoarders’.”

Odd plot. How does haunting factor in with the hoarding stuff like old newspapers or snow globes? Maybe they’re being haunted by visions of a clutter-free home.

Head Count

HEAD COUNT (2019)
“During a weekend getaway to Joshua Tree, a group of teenagers find themselves under mental and physical assault from a supernatural entity that mimics their appearances as it completes an ancient ritual.”

Isn’t Joshua Tree where people go to take acid and open the doors of perception? I bet they’re just really high and are hallucinating the supernatural entity, which may or may not be the ghost of Jim Morrison.

Terror In The Skies

TERROR IN THE SKIES (2019/pending crowd-funding)
“Director Seth Breedlove explores hundreds of years of terrifying reports of encounters with massive winged creatures around the land of Lincoln. From Alton’s man-eating Lincoln legends to recent sightings in Chicago of a creature said to resemble Point Pleasant, West Virginia’s infamous Mothman, Terror in the Skies unlocks a centuries-old mystery.”

Man, I hope a massive winged creature doesn’t crap on my car.

Monster Transparency

Posted in Giant Monsters, Nature Gone Wild, Science Fiction with tags , , , , , , , , , on February 4, 2019 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Sea Beast

In Sea Creature (2009), Oregon seaside fishing/cigar chomping captain Will McKenna has problems bigger than losing one of his crew in the middle of a storm and keeping said cigar lit in the rain and waves coming over the deck. There’s an invisible sea creature that put him and everyone in Oregon on the menu.Sea beast

And it’s that very same sea monster that’s been eating up all that pricey salmon and following Will back to port, where it lays eggs that will hatch more sea monsters. And they come to the feast with nasty table manners — they spit a green goo that paralyzes humans, wherein the monsters feast on your face while you’re still alive. You can’t scream or even crap your pants, which has got to suck hard.

Sea Beast

The monsters start the buffet with teenage appetizers, leaving a trail of entrails. Complicating matters is the creatures are invisible until they strike and can jump around tree branches like they had just watched The Predator on DVD.

From this point on, it’s run, hide, scream, bleed, die. A full-on monster attack on two teens — one of which is Will’s daughter — takes place in a remote cabin. Unfortunately, their assault yielded little edible results. So they move the battle to an abandoned and likely stinky ferry. Problem for the survivors is the boat also doubles as a nesting place filled with eggs filled with more monsters. And some goop.

Sea Beast

The showdown on the boat is a bit on the weak side, especially given the previous graphic gore goop painting the scenic seaside. But hey, nice body count from the monsters, even if they look like digital dino doggies. 

Rubber Slasher, Decade Zombies, Robo-Mom

Posted in Aliens, Classic Horror, Evil, Science Fiction, Slashers, UFOs, Zombies with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on January 30, 2019 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Chucky TV

If you’re gettin’ the itch for psychopathic rubber dolls that uses cuss wordings, The SyFy Channel™ has a Chucky TV series based on the Child’s Play franchise in the works. You can stop yawning any time now.

Chucky TV

Here’s what Don Mancini, Chucky’s “dad,” has to say about taking the one punchline joke into our living rooms: “The show will be a fresh take on the franchise, allowing us to explore Chucky’s character with a depth that is uniquely afforded by the television series format, while staying true to the original vision that has terrorized audiences for over three decades now.”

Chucky TV

When you quit yawning, here are a few upcoming horror/sci-fi movies that may or may not make you use cuss like a rubber doll…

Matriarch

MATRIARCH (April 9, 2019)
Rachel and her husband, Matt are stranded after wrecking their car on a remote Scottish road. Though hostile at first, a nearby farmer and his wife welcome them in after learning that Rachel is with child. Suddenly, Rachel realizes the family’s ‘daughter’ is a local girl who’d gone missing years before. But when she and Matt attempt to escape, they’re held at gunpoint — just as Rachel goes into labor. Will their child’s first day on earth be the couple’s last?”

There’s a good idea — go for a scenic drive in the country with a wife about ready to give birth. That kind of thing could really do a number on the car’s upholstery.

Zombieland Double Tap

ZOMBIELAND: DOUBLE TAP (October 11, 2019)
Taking place 10 years after the original, the zombie slayers face off against the many new kinds of zombies that have evolved since the first movie, as well as some new human survivors. Most of all, they have to face the growing pains of their own snarky, makeshift family.”

So those four “zombie slayers” managed to live 10 years without being eaten into chewable chunks? That’s less believable than a zombie apocalypse.

I Am Mother

I AM MOTHER (2019)
“A teenage girl is raised underground by a kindly robot ‘Mother’ — designed to repopulate the Earth following the extinction of humankind. But their unique bond is threatened when an inexplicable stranger arrives with alarming news.”

I’m no expert, but aren’t teenage girls supposed to be raised above ground?

Skyman

SKYMAN (2019)
Is self-proclaimed alien ‘experiencer’ Carl Merryweather on the path to filming his own alien abduction, or is he just another crackpot looking for fame and fortune? Carl himself may not be completely sure, but he is determined to take us on a journey in search of the answer. And that journey ends at the very spot in the desert where it all began almost 30 years ago…a chance meeting with an alien he calls the Skyman.”

This one comes from one of the people behind The Blair Witch Project (1999), which means this has the high potential of sucking as much as that movie did. Probably gonna be filmed with a hand-held camera, too.

Hell Juice, Drug-Addict Ghosts, Visually-Impaired Zombies

Posted in Evil, Ghosts, Science Fiction, Zombies with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on January 26, 2019 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Hellboy Tiki Mug

Need something to put your cocktail in that doesn’t make you look like members-only country club snob? Try the new Hellboy Geeki Tikis Mug, available at FYE in mid-March, 2019. And at a non-hellish $19.99, you can afford to class up your glass.

Hellboy

The mug is ceramic, 7.5” tall, and holds an impressive 25 ounces of hell juice. And because it’s important, the mug is dishwasher and microwaveable sage. Whew!

Hellboy

The new Hellboy remake opens on April 12, 2019. The new ad art looks cool. The Hellboy Geeki Tikis Mug looks cool. Drinking from the mug while at the movie would be cool. So while we wait for both to get here, fill your glass with these now available/upcoming horror/sci-fi movies that may or may not be dishwasher/country club safe…

Dry Blood

DRY BLOOD (available now)
“In a rural mountain town, an unstable drug addict must unravel a surreal murder mystery as he’s terrorized by malevolent ghosts, a deranged sheriff, and the frightening hallucinations from his withdrawal.”

P.S. Don’t do drugs.

Spirits in the Dark

SPIRITS IN THE DARK (2019)
“A lonely widower finds a mysterious video on his computer that leads him to an abandoned town occupied by an ominous entity.”

If you’re a lonely widower, an abandoned town is not a good place to meet new and exciting entities. Might I suggest 7-Eleven™ right around 2AM.

Deadsight

DEADSIGHT (2019)
“A partially blind man and a pregnant policewoman who are thrown together in a fight for survival during a deadly virus outbreak.”

Deadly virus outbreak = zombies. Not partially blind or pregnant zombies, either. These zombies are 100% healthy with healthy appetites. Bon appétit.

Echoes of Fear

ECHOES OF FEAR (2019)
“After inheriting her grandfather’s house, Alysa must confront the mystery of his sudden death and the evil that hides inside.”

Man, these types of horror movie press releases have become as cookie-cutter as the movies themselves. Wonder if the evil this time is salmonella-tainted jars of preserves in the fruit cellar? That also might explain grandpa’s sudden death. Kick out those jams, Mother Smucker.

Coffin Movies, Human Supper Club, Death Boat

Posted in Asian Horror, Asian Sci-Fi, Evil, Foreign Horror, Giant Monsters, Science Fiction with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on January 23, 2019 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Coffin Movies

Not sure what I think about this: “The Goteborg Film Festival in Sweden, beginning on January 27, 2019, will be offering up 33 “sarcophagus screenings” of Aniara, a Swedish-language apocalyptic sci-fi film.” Yeesh, what’s next — sneak previews in a gas chamber?

According to The Hollywood Reporter, eight volunteers at a time will be shut into specially made caskets outfitted with screens, speakers and air vents. Inside the coffin will be a “panic” button for anyone who gets too freaked out. 

Aniara

I’d break my finger pushing that button. Points for creativity, though. As for Aniara (2018), here’s this about that: “A spaceship carrying settlers to Mars is knocked off course, causing the consumption-obsessed passengers to consider their place in the universe.” I can feel their pain — my life would be nothing if it weren’t for drunk bidding on eBay™.

Before you go hopping into any movie sarcophagus, here are a few upcoming horror/sci-fi movies/TV series that may or may not have you reaching for the panic button. And remember, it’s not the coffin they take you off in, it’s the coffin that takes you often…

Folklore

FOLKLORE (February 1, 2019/ HBO NOW, HBO GO, HBO On Demand)
Folklore is HBO’s newest foray into the horror anthology genre. The series, which contains six hour-long episodes, will take place in six Asian countries including Indonesia, Japan, Korea, Malaysia, Singapore, and Thailand. Each of the six episodes is based on that respective country’s folklore and mythology, which includes various supernatural beings and strange occult practices. Each episode will be helmed by a different director, with each episode filmed in the local language of that particular country.”

This one was already aired on HBO Asia on October 7, 2018. (I didn’t know Asia changed its name.) As cool as the anthology series sounds, doesn’t do me much good if each episode is filmed in its native language. Geez, I can barely speak whatever language I’m currently burping out now.

Beneath The Leaves

BENEATH THE LEAVES (February 8, 2019/limited theater/VOD)
“Among countless others, four small-town boys are kidnapped by James Whitley, a deranged, warm-eyed psychopath. His grotesque pursuit to reunite orphaned children with their deceased birth parents is gridlocked when the boys escape and he is arrested. Twenty years later, Whitley flees during a prison fire and decides to see his mission through. Detective Larson, one of Whitley’s prior victims — and now a cop — is removed from the case due to impartiality leaving his partner and lover, Detective Shotwell to solve the case. Fueled by rage and a chance of redemption, Detective Larson chases the steadfast psychopath on his own, only to fall back into the same trap he once escaped as a child.”

Fueled by rage. Kinda my mantra. Hope career criminal James Whitely doesn’t try to kidnap me — I’ve got a full tank.

The Cannibal Club

THE CANNIBAL CLUB (March 1, 2019/limited theater/ March 5, 2019/VOD)
Otavio and Gilda are a very wealthy couple of the Brazilian elite who have the habit of eating their employees. Otavio owns a private security company and is a notable member of The Cannibal Club. When Gilda accidentally discovers a secret from Borges, a powerful congressman and the club’s leader, her and her husband’s lives are in grave danger.”

Eating your employees — doesn’t sound too tasty, but it does cut down on having to hand out raises and buying groceries.

Harpoon

HARPOON (2019)
“With his perfect family and perfect upbringing, Richard appears to have it all. So when he thinks that his long-term girlfriend, Sasha and best-friend, Jonah, are having an affair, it sends him into a fit of rage that leaves Jonah a bloody mess. Once Jonah and Sasha convince Richard the allegations are false, Richard tries to buy back their trust by taking them out for a day-trip on his family’s yacht. Tension boils over once out to sea, and, to make matters worse, the yacht’s engine fails. Stranded without food and supplies, the trio must set aside their differences in order to survive.”

Can’t remember the title, but there was a Japanese horror movie with the same plot. It didn’t end well for them, either. I think they were all eaten by a giant octopus with nine arms. I could be slight wrong about that.