Archive for Nessie

Monsters = Monster Money

Posted in Nature Gone Wild with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on April 13, 2016 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Loch Ness Monster

My secretary (me) came across an AFP article posted 4/13/16 (today if you’re reading this today) that a marine robot deployed in the Scotland’s Loch Ness has found the remains of a monster, but that it turned out to be a prop from a movie shot in 1970.

Loch Ness Monster

This DOES NOT mean the Loch Ness Monster isn’t still patrolling the Loch for tourist dollars. (VisitScotland.com estimates the revenue generated by tourists hoping to catch a glimpse of “Nessie” at £60 million ($76 million euros/ $85 million fins a year. Ask members of Scotland’s Chamber of Commerce if they believe Nessie is real, and they’ll show you their bank balance.)

Loch Ness Monster

The marine robot belongs to the Norwegian offshore oil company Kongsberg Maritime, who is mapping the depths of the Loch (775 feet deep – big enough for a hundred Loch Ness Monsters) in a project named “Operation Groundtruth.” Good branding – they should be able to prove Nessie’s existance with a name like that.

Loch Ness Monster

“Although it is the shape of Nessie, it is not the remains of the monster that has mystified the world for 80 years,” Scottish tourism agency VisitScotland, which is backing the project. “The blurry object with a long neck was a 30-foot long model of the monster made for the film The Private Life of Sherlock Holmes, directed by Billy Wilder. It is thought the model sank after its humps were removed (the buoyancy was in the humps) never to be seen again. The monster was actually a submarine in the film.”

Loch Ness Monster

That’s pretty dang cool. But Nessie – the REAL one – is cooler. If only the marine robot could get a pic of Nessie together with its movie stunt stand-in.

The Farmer’s Zombie Daughter

Posted in Nature Gone Wild, Science Fiction, Zombies with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on April 17, 2015 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Maggie

The Terminator himself – Arnold Schwarzenegger – in a cannibalistic zombie movie? The fudge you say. And yet, it’s fudgin’ true, I tell you.

Starring in Maggie (releasing May 8, 2015), a horror movie about a Midwestern farmer whose daughter slowly turns into the aforementioned flesh-eater, Arnold has to figure out how to TERMINATE (heh) the problem.

Maggie

Co-starring is Abigail Breslin as the zomb-teen. You may remember her as Mel Gibson’s five-year-old daughter in the crop circle movie, Signs (2002). Now she’s grown impressively into her shirt if you catch my driftings.

Joely Richardson also stars. She’s the hot red-head who was in Loch Ness in 1996. That had the Loch Ness Monster in it as well as Ted Danson. He’s kind of a monster.

Loch Ness Monster

So I’m wonderin’ how Arnold’s farm daughter came down with zombieitis? One might surmise being bitten by a cow getting revenge after all its brethren society has eaten. Or maybe she touched icky farm stuff, rubbed her eyes, and then came down with hay fever (heh). I’m hoping it’s the cow.

Man, I am all over the road today.