Archive for Shudder

Goth Fairies, Cannibal Critters, Timeless Horror

Posted in Aliens, Classic Horror, Evil, Fantasy, Nature Gone Wild, Science Fiction, TV Vixens, Witches with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on March 8, 2019 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Maleficent: Mistress of Evil

While the movie wasn’t exactly in my wheelhouse, I nevertheless enjoyed the Disney™ fantasy/horror movie, Maleficent (2014), and dug watching main star Angelina Jolie as the goth-y gorgeous evil fairy fly around with Hellboy/Darkness horns and flap her wing-span enhanced wings like a demonic seagull.

Maleficent

This is why I’m horn-y (heh) for the sequel, Maleficent: Mistress of Evil (October 18, 2019), which puts the antlers/wings back on Jolie to cause more fairy land havoc. And in case you don’t/didn’t know who Maleficent is, she was the antagonist in Disney’s Sleeping Beauty in 1959 and the self-proclaimed “mistress of all evil.” (Nice tie-in with the title, Disney™.)

Maleficent

While I plot to go see the movie and push little kids out of the way to get a good seat, here are a few upcoming horror/sci-fi movies that may or may not make your wings flap…

Critters: A New Binge

CRITTERS: A NEW BINGE (March 21, 2019/Shudder™)
“Pursued by intergalactic bounty hunters, the Critters return to Earth on a secret mission and encounter Christopher, a lovelorn high-schooler, his best friend Charlie, his crush Dana, and his mom Veronica — whose past will come back to bite them. Who will survive? And who will be eaten?”

The original Critters (1986) was just Gremlins (1984), but with worse table manners. Both movies were skewed towards the family-skewed crowd, so proceed with caution with this one.

Division 19

DIVISION 19 (April 5, 2019)
“In the future, prisons have been turned into online portals where paying subscribers get to vote on what felons eat, watch, wear and who they fight. Panopticon TV is so successful it is about to be rolled out to a whole new town. When the world’s most downloaded felon escapes, the authorities set a trap to reel him in. The bait is his little brother who has so far managed to avoid detection.”

Sounds like someone’s been watching The Running Man (1987) and YouTube™ videos of Christians being thrown into the PPV ring with atheist lions.

I Spit On Your Grave: Deja Vu

I SPIT ON YOUR GRAVE: DEJA VU (April 23, 2019)
“Following her brutal rape, Jennifer wrote a best-selling account of her ordeal and of the controversial trial in which she was accused of taking the law into her own hands and ruthlessly killing her assailants. In the small town where the rape and revenge took place, the relatives of the four rapists she killed are furious that the court declared her not guilty and resolve to take justice into their own hands.”

I Spit On Your Grave first came out in 1978 and was painfully hard to watch, even though it wasn’t nearly as graphic as the 2010 remake. And while the subject matter is timely, doesn’t mean it’s any easier to watch. P.S. If you’re a dude, do NOT watch this with any ladies in the room. It might give them ideas.

In Search of Darkness

IN SEARCH OF DARKNESS (2019)
“For the first time in horror history, In Search of Darkness will bring together 1980s icons, modern horror greats, popular YouTubers and social media influencers to create the most complete retrospective documentary of the genre ever made. Together, they will bring their unique perspectives as we take a nostalgic journey back to revisit the unforgettable heroes, monsters, and movies that thrilled and chilled us.”

Looking forward to this one as the ‘80s were my puberty horror years. I’ll continue to keep watching ‘em until my voice cracks.

Black Horror, Sequel Monsters, Future Religion

Posted in Classic Horror, Evil, Foreign Horror, Science Fiction, Vampires, Werewolves with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on January 9, 2019 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Horror Noire

Shudder™, the go-to horror/sci-fi streaming channel, just announced something pretty dang cool. They’re exclusively premiering Horror Noire: A History of Black Horror, an original documentary on Thursday, February 7, 2019. It’s based on the same-named and highly-regarded book by Dr. Robin R. Means Coleman, which means now that it’ll be on TV, I don’t have learn how to read. Sweet!

They’re gonna start with the silent film era and hit the gas from there, Expect tons of interviews with directors, writers and actors, and more.

Horror Noire is doing special screening events in New York and Los Angeles before it makes it to the small screen. Until then, here are a few now available and upcoming horror/sci-fi that may or may not be silent…

Monsterland 2

MONSTERLAND 2 (available now)
“As monsters continue to destroy the world, we travel around the globe where stories of strange beasts and epic creatures are all too common. Beware a young girl with a brace on her face, she may just eat you alive if you aren’t looking. Watch out for werewolves, vampire hunters, and monsters that eat you from the inside out. No one is safe when the monsters are hiding amongst us and within.”

The best way out of this is to become a monster yourself. I proudly achieved that career goal a long time ago.

The Harvesting

THE HARVESTING (available now)
“To escape their marital problems, a young family travels from the city to spend the summer in Amish Country where a malevolent presence grips them. They soon discover that they were brought there for a reason and they must break free before the demonic hold consumes them.”

Malevolent presence and a vacation in an Amish-controlled country? Not sure which would be worse.

Loophole

LOOPHOLE (available now)
“The future of humanity hangs in the balance, as both sides race against time to find the bloodline of Judas Iscariot (one of the original Twelve Disciples of Jesus Christ). When Lexi, a simple college student, finds herself in the middle of an all-out spiritual war, she is forced to trust a complete stranger. Kidnapped, rescued, then in hiding, she knows she has to act, but will she have enough time to save humanity?”

Heaven battling Hell has been an ongoing theme in horror/sci-fi movies for so long, it sounds like a WWE pay-per-view. They could call it Heaven vs. Hell In A Cell. Heh.

Koma

COMA (aka, Koma/January 25, 2019/Russia)
“After a colossal and mysterious accident a young talented architect comes back to his senses in a very odd world that only resembles the reality. This world is based on the memories of the ones who live in it — people who are currently finding themselves in a deep coma. Human memory is spotty, chaotic and unstable. The same is the Coma — odd collection of memories and recollections — cities, glaciers and rivers can all be found in one room. All the laws of physics can be broken. The architect must find out the exact laws and regulations of Coma as he fights for his life, meets the love of his life and keeps on looking for the exit to the real world which he will have to get acquainted with all over again after the experience of Coma.”

This one sounds crazy cool. Though cities, glaciers and rivers all in the same room? Sounds like the bathroom at The Tug Tavern.

Creepy Reboot, Ghost Advice, $100 Dementia

Posted in Classic Horror, Evil, Foreign Horror, Ghosts, Science Fiction, Zombies with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on October 7, 2018 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Creepshow

So a rebooting of 1982’s Creepshow series is coming to the paid subscription horror movie channel, Shudder™ in 2019. Because Hollywood rarely tries to come up with original horror movie ideas anymore, we can expect still more of horror’s legacy being tapped to keep the money faucets flowing.

Creepshow

As reboots generally suck bag (how many times do we have to keep re-painting the Mona Lisa?), Creepshow, thankfully, is being executive-produced by The Walking Dead’s Greg Nicotero, whose KNB EFX Group will design the show’s monster and makeup effects. That does not suck or blow.

Creepshow

A multi-episode series, for those not old enough to know where Creepshow came from, it was an homage to the horror comics of the ‘50s and later adapted to movie form. Horror patriarch Stephen King wrote several installments (and starred in one), and Night of the Living Dead’s George A. Romero directed. In keeping with the spirit of the original, each episode will tell original stories and directed by a different filmmaker. One kitchen, lots of cooks.

Creepshow

So while we wait to see the inside of our TV screens splattered with digital blood, guts and probably black stuff, here are a few upcoming horror/sci-fi movies that may or may not suck bag…

Clara's Ghost

CLARA’S GHOST (December 6, 2018)
“Set over the course of a single evening in the Reynolds family home in suburban Connecticut, Clara Reynolds who, fed up with constant ribbing from her self-absorbed showbiz family, finds solace in and guidance from the supernatural force she believes is haunting her.”

Dementia II

That’s pretty funny — getting life coaching advice from a ghost. That’s like getting swimming lessons from Jaws or electrical wiring instructions from Dr. Frankenstein or trick-or-treating strategies from Michael Myers or… I could do this all day.

DEMENTIA PART II (2018)
Mercer — an ex-convict who has become a small-jobs repairman — ends up in a house with a frightening old woman with dementia. The nightmare escalates as the woman shoves $100 bills in Mercer’s pocket, stringing him along for the revolting ride.”

Revolting ride or not, if someone stuffs $100 bills in my pocket, I’d happily get in the nondescript van that’s no doubt loaded with candy.

The Umbrella Academy

THE UMBRELLA ACADEMY (February 15, 2019)
“This live-action series follows the estranged members of a dysfunctional family of superheroes (The Umbrella Academy) — Luther, Diego, Allison, Vanya, Klaus and Number Five — as they work together to solve their father Reginald Hardgraves’ mysterious death, while coming apart at the seams due to their divergent personalities and abilities.”

This one’s adapted from a graphic novel series. The graphic novel evolved from comic books. And comic books were the smart tablets of their day. They were solar-powered so you never had to worry about where to plug ‘em in.

Hellboy

HELLBOY (April 12, 2019)
Hellboy and his ragtag team of paranormal researchers squaring off against a medieval sorceress who seeks to destroy humankind.”

Already tagged this, but hey…new poster! That’s gotta count for something. Hopefully, it’ll be successful enough to have spin-offs, like HellMom or HellDude.

Printed Splatter, Foreign Demons, Immortal Daycare

Posted in Classic Horror, Evil, Foreign Horror, Ghosts, Sharks, Slashers, Vampires, Werewolves, Witches with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on July 1, 2018 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Ad Nauseam: Newsprint Nightmares from the 1980s

Before there were iPads™ and “smart tablets,” you got your news and non-porn ads from newspapers. Those things were cool — lots of pictures, tons of useless information and you never had to plug it in or recharge it. It was in those newspapers that movie companies placed ads. And in the ’80s, you got gore and slasher movie ads, which were an art form unto themselves.

Ad Nauseam: Newsprint Nightmares from the 1980s

Author/horror movie expert Michael Gingold (Fangoria, Rue Morgue, Birth.Movies.Death, Time Out New York, Scream, The FrightFest Guide to Monster Movies, Shark Movie Mania), has a new book coming out October 9, 2018 called Ad Nauseam: Newsprint Nightmares from the 1980s, a compilation of all those luridly glorious horror movie/TV ads. And even more frightening is the price: $34.95. In 1980s money, that’s worth the price of nearly 140 newspapers. That’s some serious fire hazard buying power.

Ad Nauseam: Newsprint Nightmares from the 1980s

I’m thinkin’ that the reprinted horror movie ads are all black and white, which gives ‘em a grindhouse-y aesthetic. The book might have a few color ads, though, (I’m hoping to see The Evil Dead/1981 ads in full blood-esque color).

Ad Nauseam: Newsprint Nightmares from the 1980s

While we impatiently wait for October (why won’t my homemade time tunnel work? I put new double AA batteries in it…), here are a few upcoming horror movies/TV series that may or may not be worth cutting out of a newspaper or downloaded onto your maxi-iPad™…

Wellington Paranormal

WELLINGTON PARANORMAL (July 11, 2018/New Zealand)
“The new mockumentary series follows officers Minogue and O’Leary as a pair of paranormal cops focused not just on vampires this time. New Zealand’s capital is a hotbed of supernatural activity, so Officers Minogue and O’Leary take to the streets to investigate all manner of paranormal phenomena including ghosts, demonic possession and werewolves.”

This is the TV series sequel to the incredibly hilarious What We Do In The Shadows (2014) vampire movie, and will premier July 11, 2018 on New Zealand channel TVNZ. My antennae doesn’t reach that far. Word around the antennae store, though, is the follow-up movie is tentatively titled, We’re Wolves. Flippin’ genius.

Open 24 Hours

OPEN 24 HOURS (2018)
“Mary knew her boyfriend James was the Rain Ripper serial killer. But she felt powerless to act until he forced her to watch another victim being slaughtered before her eyes — and then she set him on fire. On parole from prison despite everyone thinking she was guilty by proxy, and on medication to control her paranoid hallucinations, Mary gets a graveyard shift job at the remote Deer gas station. Then the killings begin. Is what’s happening real? Are they just blood-soaked delusions? Or does she really like to watch people murdered as her ex always intimated?”

Rain Ripper seems like a dumb name for a serial killer. And since when does a pyromaniac get a job at a gas station? That’s like me going to work for Anheuser-Busch. (Note to AB — I totally promise to stay drunk on the job, as I am a company man, through and through.)

The Witch in the Window

THE WITCH IN THE WINDOW (2018/2019/Shudder™)
“A separated father Simon and his estranged twelve-year-old son, Finn, head to Vermont to repair an old farmhouse and encounter the malicious spirit of a previous owner, an infamously cruel woman named Lydia. With every repair Simon makes, he’s also making her spirit stronger…until a terrifying encounter leaves him doubting whether he can protect his son from the evil that’s making its way into their heads and hearts.”

“Infamously cruel.” That’s some serious street cred. Looks good on a resume, though, especially when applying to work for Yelp™.

NOS4A2

NOS4A2 (2019/AMC)
“A young female artist named Vic McQueen discovers she has a supernatural connection with Charlie Manx, a seemingly immortal man who feeds off the souls of children and deposits their remains in a twisted holiday village known as Christmasland. Vic sets out to defeat Manx and rescue his victims while keeping her sanity intact.”

This one’s gonna be a TV series (whoohoo — binge time!) on AMC, and is based on the same named 2013 book by Joe Hill, Stephen King’s son. I can see why he didn’t take his dad’s last name — then he’d be “Joe King/Joking”. Heh.

Virtual Undead, Love-Struck Mermaids, Death Janitor

Posted in Classic Horror, Evil, Ghosts, Nature Gone Wild, Science Fiction, Vampires, Zombies with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on May 11, 2018 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Evil Dead: Virtual Nightmare

Want to experience demon-possessed zombies without letting them stick pencils into the squishy marshmallow that is your flesh? (Tell me you got that reference.) Well now you can do it writing-utensil-free with Evil Dead: Virtual Nightmare.

Deadite

As first reported by Bloody_Disgusting.com, the online site Horror-Fix.com issued a press release: “Evil Dead: Virtual Nightmare will offer fans a truly unique opportunity to fully immerse themselves within The Evil Dead universe unlike ever before. With 360 degree sound and vision the players can roam freely around The Evil Dead world. Evil Dead: Virtual Nightmare will offer players a thrilling experience in first person mode inside the infamous cabin and engage them taking on Deadites in the surrounding forest.”

Deadite

This sounds way cooler than the virtual horror reality that is real life. While we wait for Evil Dead: Virtual Nightmare to arrive June 2018 on iOS and Android devices (this sucks as I only have a walkie-talkie — hey, it was FREE), here are a few upcoming horror/sci-fi movies that may or may not seem real to you…

Sequence Break

SEQUENCE BREAK (May 24, 2018/Shudder™)
“A reclusive video arcade repairman experiences bizarre biomechanical mutations and Cronenbergian hallucinations when a mysterious new arcade machine appears in his shop. Reality itself threatens to fracture as the young man works to solve its mystery — and overcome the new chaos that has entered his life.”

I’m a bit unclear with this — when doesn’t an arcade machine cause mutations and hallucinations? Heck, that’s why I play ‘em! I bet the arcade machine takes your soul instead of quarters. Too bad — I have more quarters than soul.

The Mermaid: Lake of the Dead

THE MERMAID: LAKE OF THE DEAD (July 19, 2018)
“An evil mermaid — who was once a beautiful young woman that drowned centuries ago — falls in love with a woman’s fiancée and aims to take him back to her deadly underwater kingdom.”

Sounds like Splash! (1984), but with the high potential for grievous bodily harm. Not clear on why the mermaid is evil. I’ll have to consult Flipper. He’s so dang smart.

Overlord

OVERLORD (October 26, 2018)
“Two paratroopers are caught behind enemy lines after their plane crashes on a mission to destroy a German radio tower in a small town outside of Normandy during the D-Day invasion. After reaching their target, the two paratroopers come to realize that besides fighting off Nazi soldiers, they also must combat against supernatural forces that are a result of a secret Nazi experiment.”

Nazis are the go-to bad guys in lots of horror movies, second only to vampires and sharks. Maybe they should all start a band.

The Cleaning Lady

THE CLEANING LADY (2018/2019)
“As a means to distract herself from an affair, a love-addicted woman befriends a cleaning lady, badly scarred by burns. She soon learns, these scars run much deeper than the surface.”

If you work with cleaning solvents and are badly scarred by burns, quit washing your face with Clorox™ followed by a good burnishing with an S.O.S.™ pad. (P.S. Do NOT wash your face with Clorox™ — unless you want to look like The Joker.)

Joe Bob Returns, T-Rex Take-Out, Ouija Warning Labels

Posted in Classic Horror, Evil, Ghosts, Giant Monsters, Nature Gone Wild, Science Fiction, Slashers, TV Vixens with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on April 18, 2018 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Joe Bob Briggs

Better news that’s on the news: Joe Bob Briggs, the canned beer-swilling, B-movie/syndicated columnist/author/TV host, is coming back to TV for a 24-hour horror-thon in June of 2018. This will take place on Shudder™, so far the leading streaming horror movie channel. This is, like, Christmas and Halloween on the same day!

Monstervision

From the official press release: “JOE BOB’S COMING BACK TO TV! He’s gonna be hosting a 24 HOUR MOVIE MARATHON on Shudder™. That’s right, 24 hours of Joe Bob’s intros, outros, and OF COURSE the drive-in totals. It’ll start on a Friday in June, although we don’t know which Friday yet.”

Honey The Mail Girl

You may remember Joe Bob’s top-rated MonsterVision show, which ran on the TNT Network from 1995 to 2000, and featured classic horror and schlock films from the ’70s, ’80s and ’90s, along with tons of hilarious commentary, special guests, and the drop dead gorgeous Honey, the mail girl, now a successful attorney in Bloomington, IN. (Previously, the eccentric comedy team of Penn & Teller guest-hosted MonsterVision marathons that showed old B-movies from the ’50s and ’60s.)

While we use our combined will power/mental abilities and all stare at our TVs in unison to get it to change to June, here are a few upcoming horror/sci-fi/fantasy movies to drink canned beer while watching… 

Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom

JURASSIC WORLD: FALLEN KINGDOM (June 22, 2018)
“It’s been four years since theme park and luxury resort Jurassic World was destroyed by dinosaurs out of containment. Isla Nublar now sits abandoned by humans while the surviving dinosaurs fend for themselves in the jungles. When the island’s dormant volcano begins roaring to life, Owen and Claire mount a campaign to rescue the remaining dinosaurs from this extinction-level event. Owen is driven to find Blue, his lead raptor who’s still missing in the wild, and Claire has grown a respect for these creatures she now makes her mission. Arriving on the unstable island as lava begins raining down, their expedition uncovers a conspiracy that could return our entire planet to a perilous order not seen since prehistoric times.’

Disclaimer: I already tagged this on June 25, 2017. Since then the movie has come up with a new poster (look up) and has more a descriptive description of the plot, which can be deglazed into simply, modern day dinosaurs eat humans and wreck stuff. Also, the original key art had the movie arriving on June 6, 2018. But my studied research (occasionally clicking around the web) found a redacted poster with the June 22, 2018 release date. Matters not — modern day dinosaurs eating humans, man!

The Innocents

THE INNOCENTS (August 24, 2018/Netflix™)
“The series will explore what happens when teenagers Harry and June run away from their repressive family lives to be together. They’re quickly thrown into an extraordinary journey of self-discovery that derails their innocent dream: Secrets kept from them by their parents test their love to the breaking point, and the extraordinary gift they possess unleashes powerful forces intent on dividing them forever.”

Another Netflix™ TV series, which is not necessarily a bad thing — unless you don’t have Netflix™ — ha! This sounds like YET ANOTHER spin on the ‘ol “Romeo and Juliet” thing, but with some supernatural stuff and probably way too much plot-stalling smooching.

Ouija House

OUIJA HOUSE (2018)
“To help her down-on-her-luck mother, a graduate student brings her friends to a mysterious house where they plan to do research for a book project. But they inadvertently summon an evil entity with plans of its own.”

Anyone who f’s with anything Ouija has to know by now it’s like those warning signs on cigarette packages that say (in all caps): “CAUTION: CIGARETTE SMOKING MAY BE HAZARDOUS TO YOUR HEALTH.” They should just change “cigarette smoking” to “summoning evil” and start putting that label on Ouija boards.

Knuckleball

KNUCKLEBALL (2018)
“After his grandfather unexpectedly dies in the night, 12 year-old Henry finds himself cut off and alone on an isolated farm. When his nearest neighbor, Dixon, realizes that the boy has no one to protect him, Henry becomes a target for reasons he cannot understand. With his parents at least 24 hours from returning and a massive snowstorm brewing, Henry retreats into the house and prepares for a siege. What follows is a desperate battle for survival that will also unlock the terrifying connection between his family and the killer next door.”

Sounds like Home Alone (1990), but with more stabbing.

Killer TV, Medically-Trained Zombies, A Storm of Clowns

Posted in Evil, Misc. Horror, Nature Gone Wild, Science Fiction, Zombies with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on April 4, 2018 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

The Killer Movie Channel

In a sea of horror/sci-fi movie streaming channels, now comes a potential heavy hitter in the blandly named The Killer Movie Channel. Found on Roku™ and other platter platforms, TKMC seems to hit most of the right notes and is reasonably priced after a free trial: $3.99 a month/$36.00 year. For a horror movie junkie like myself, this is a good business model.

The Killer Movie Channel

Going through their offerings, if you’re a horror freak, you’ve likely seen 99% of the movies featured. And even though they seem to have a decent selection/somewhat deep catalog, you might give Shudder and/or Midnight Pulp a try. Way more content and a bit more expensive, but not a wallet buster — unless you eat from garbage cans and whatever’s stuck to the underside of a Waffle House dining tables.

Find The Killer Movie Channel HERE. And here’s a few upcoming horror/sci-fi movies that may or may not stick to the underside of Waffle House dining tables…

The Cleanse

THE CLEANSE (May 4, 2018)
Paul Berger, an unemployed, down and out, is a heartbroken man searching for happiness. When Paul sees an ad for a spiritual retreat promising to restart your life, he immediately signs up, hoping to cleanse himself and fix his broken life. But after only a few days, he discovers the cleanse is releasing more than just everyday toxins…a lot more.”

If you’re a down and out heartbroken man with a name like Berger — which awesomely sounds like “burger” — then your priorities are all out of whack. And as for releasing more than everyday toxins, isn’t that what everybody eventually does after eating a Taco BellXXL Grilled Stuft Burrito? (Note to anyone brave enough to eat at TB — go for the Power Menu Burrito; a little less “impactful” on the plumbing.)

Feral

FERAL (May 25, 2018)
“A wild animal attacks six medical students on a weekend hike in the woods. One by one, they become infected with a ‘feral disease’, turning them into rabid, bloodthirsty creatures, and the vacation becomes a nightmare as they fight to survive each other.”

Doesn’t say much for the “medical” students if they can’t even treat being infected by gangsta pine cones and/or poisonous raccoons. So does this also mean they have to drop out of med school for becoming rabid, bloodthirsty creatures? If so, Kinkos™ will take ‘em.

Upgrade

UPGRADE (June 1, 2018)
“After his wife is killed during a brutal mugging that also leaves him paralyzed, Grey Trace is approached by a billionaire inventor with an experimental cure that will ‘upgrade’ his body. The cure — an Artificial Intelligence implant called STEM — gives Grey physical abilities beyond anything experienced and the ability to relentlessly claim vengeance against those who murdered his wife and left him for dead.”

Sounds like a mash-up of The Six Million Dollar Man (1974 — 1978) and RoboCop (1987). I’d rather have stretchy powers, like Plastic Man or Gumby, though. Bonus: I’d be waterproof!

Clownado

CLOWNADO (pending crowd-funding)
“A one of a kind thrill ride into the depths of depravity and gore! Believe it or not, it is a Horror Film Noir, with crazed killer Clowns on a rampage from Hell, out for revenge and only BLOOD can quench their savage desire for destruction! Be ready for one twisted and scary adventure!”

Funny title. I feel compelled to contribute to their fundraising campaign, especially when they hit my mental joy-buzzer with words like “depravity”, “gore” and “savage desire”, which bartenders comment when I slobberingly order bottle after bottle of Budweiser™.