Archive for afterlife

Godzilla Party, The Relocated Dead, Evil Grandma

Posted in Classic Horror, demons, Evil, Fantasy, Ghosts, Giant Monsters, Godzilla, Misc. Horror, paranormal, Zombies with tags , , , , , , , on October 4, 2022 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Calling all Gojira fans: The 6th Annual Godzilla Festival returns to Japan on November 3, 2022, celebrating the 68th anniversary of the Godzilla series. Those without bus service to Japan can breathe a non-radioactive sigh of relief — you’ll be able to “attend” G-Fest via a free-to-access online live stream. They haven’t posted the link yet, but go HERE for the eventual hook-up. As for the physical location of the festival, you can look it up on…Godzillow™ (Heh).

The press release for the event gives us the deets: “This year, Godzilla Fest will primarily celebrate the 50th anniversary of director Jun Fukuda’s Godzilla vs. Gigan, unveiling a brand new suit from modeler Shinichi Wakasa recreating the Showa-era Gigan design. Additionally, this event will also exhibit the replica Godzilla (1954) suit design as well as a Godzilla suit from 2004’s Godzilla: Final Wars.”

Kazuhiro Nakagawa is currently directing a third tokusatsu short film featuring the newly constructed Gigan suit. Furthermore, the long-awaited sequel to Gemstone’s G vs. G short fan film will be released at Godzilla Fest 2022. A trailer for this new short, Godzilla vs. Gigan Rex, has been released on YouTube™.” (Watch it HERE)

While we’re waiting to be livestreamed on, here are a few upcoming horror movies that may or may not feature a guy in a rubber suit…

SHOT IN THE DARK / October 4, 2022 (VOD)

“Two years ago, William Langston made a mistake that would affect the course of his life. Now, with a killer loose and his circle of friends falling away one at a time, William faces his greatest fears as well as his own mortality.”

My greatest fear is sobriety.

POSSESSION / October 7, 2022 (VOD)

“A priest has been tasked with deciding the location of a new church for the local mining company, which reveals itself to be on top of an old Sami burial ground. After removing the remains, the dead come alive and haunt the settlers.”

Some background on the relocated Sami (last name not Hagar): “In the 17th century, the Sami believed each body contained two types of spirits: the ‘free soul’ moves on to the afterlife, while the ‘body soul’ stays behind.” Lemme get this straight — one half of their soul goes on to party while the other soul gets left behind on a Friday night? Harsh.

THE ACCURSED / October 14, 2022 (VOD)

“A young woman is forced to return home following the death of her mother. Consumed by guilt and desperate to escape the haunting visions playing out in her head, she takes a temporary caregiver position for a comatose old lady living alone in the woods. It does not take long before she realizes not all is as it seems and that the old lady harbors a demonic secret her daughter is intent on passing on.”

The “demonic secret” is why old ladies smell like they do, which is a cross between a hallway closet and a damp fruit cellar. 

CHURCH OF DARKNESS / November 8, 2022 (VOD/DVD)

“David, a devout Christian teen boy, moves to a new town and discovers a sinister underground society flourishing under the protection of the mayor. When he learns of their evil plans and sacrificing rituals, he knows he must try and save the citizens of the town. Alone and afraid his own faith is tested when he discovers it may be too late.”

Sinister underground society? Evil plans? Sacrifice rituals? Where is this party town and how do I join their Horror Chamber of Commerce

Real X-Files, Angels & Zombies, Future Grrrls

Posted in Aliens, Bigfoot, Evil, Ghosts, Science Fiction, Sharks, UFOs, Zombies with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on April 15, 2018 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Art Bell

Sad to report the April 13, 2018 passing of Art Bell, 72, one of the paranormal’s iconic advocates. Host of the globally-popular Coast To Coast AM late night radio show for twenty years, Art’s show was a seriously presented forum for all things paranormal, demonic, ghostly, cryptid, crop circle-y and all around monsterific. And while Art’s charismatic deep voice and dry delivery wasn’t enough, his callers’ supernatural stories and UFO sightings were the stuff custom made for ratings.

Art Bell

So popular was his radio show, he was syndicated in 500 markets in the U.S. and Canada. (Canada, by the way, is where all things paranormal were born, no doubt fueled by Moosehead beer.) Radio DJ Alan Stock described Art’s show as being “like a Disneyland for sci-fi.” Coast To Coast AM still broadcasts with the super cool George Noory at the mic. (He also regularly appears on the History Channel’s Ancient Aliens.)

Art Bell

So here’s to you, Art Bell — thank you for being the legendary voice for the real X-Files. And while you can hear archived shows on YouTube™, here are a few just released and upcoming horror and sci-fi movies that might’ve been right at home on Coast To Coast AM…. 

AVZ: Angels Vs. Zombies

AVZ: ANGELS VS. ZOMBIES (available now)
“At the end of days seven archangels arrive to deliver us from evil. Get ready for the resurrection, the dead will rise.”

Never understood the term “archangel.” Does that mean they have osteoporosis? So angels doing battle with zombies. Seems like everybody wants to take a swing at the undead these days. Heck, God’s delivery sycophants have battled everything from Bigfoot to aliens to even other angels. (Angels are like the Amazon Prime™ of religion.) be double awesome if someone would come up with AVS: Angels vs. Sharktopus.

Along With The Gods

ALONG WITH THE GODS: THE TWO WORLDS (available now)
Ja-hong, a firefighter, is taken to the afterlife by three guardians, where only after passing seven trials and proving he lived a noble life will he be able to reincarnate.”

Guess if firefighter Ja-hong is in the afterlife, he must not have been that good at his day job. And who wants to reincarnate? Being back on this toilet Earth is the last place I’d wanna return policy. Except my favorite bar, which I coincidentally call “the afterlife.”

House on Elm Lake

HOUSE ON ELM LAKE (available now)
“A couple and their young daughter move into a lake house that remained unsold due to the brutal, ritualistic murder of a family years ago. Soon, they realize that a dormant evil has awakened, a possessive force that has preyed on unsuspecting families like theirs for centuries.”

A house on Elm Lake? Is this Freddy Krueger’s Airbnb™? If I was dormant evil and lived on a lake, I’d wake up, goon out a few ducks and make splishy splash happen. And I’d do it in a Speedo™, you know, just to up the horror factor.

Future World

FUTURE WORLD (May 25, 2018)
“Inside a desert oasis, a queen lays dying as her son Prince travels across barren waste lands to find a near-mythical medicine to save her life. After evading violent raiders on motorbikes led by the Warlord and his enforcer, Prince meets Ash, the Warlord’s robot sex companion-assassin who’s in search of her own soul. As Prince is captured by the Druglord, the Warlord’s forces roar in — and Prince fights to save the remnants of humanity.”

The trailer makes this look like a Road Warrior (1981) knock-off, but with lots more riot grrrls. Maybe they should call it Mad Maxine. The drool-worthy Milla Jovovich stars and still looks a sexy fresh as she did in the Resident Evil (2002) six-movie franchise, where she got more attractive with each consecutive sequel. I bet she eats a lot of preservatives. Heh.

Haunted House On A Haunted Hill

Posted in Classic Horror, Evil, Ghosts, Scream Queens, Slashers, Zombies with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on November 20, 2014 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Return to House on Haunted Hill

Sarah, the sister of a magazine editor chick, was the only living survivor from the blood jamboree at the Vanacutt Mansion in House on Haunted Hill (1999), which was a remake of the far superior 1959 version. Sarah kept a diary, detailing her experiences with undead demonic forces. (Wonder what she said about me in it?) Then she dies. At first it’s thought she committed suicide, but as it turns out, nope.

Return to House on Haunted Hill

An art collector seeks the ridiculously evil Baphomet statue inside the abandoned mansion/insane asylum where unnecessary medical procedures were performed on patients without their written consent.

Return to House on Haunted Hill

So a gang of thugs shoots the sister in the hair and steals her journal, which holds clues as to the statue’s whereabouts. Meanwhile, an archaeological college professor and the dead girl’s sister and boyfriend go to the mansion to recover the same exact statue. How’s that for a coincidence?

Return to House on Haunted Hill

But the criminals have guns, so they have the upper hand and… Not so fast – the ghosts have sealed up the mansion and wanna play “1-2-3 Your Limbs Belong To Me” with their uninvited guests. Mind you, this is a totally dumbass stretch to get people back into the mansion. But I’m usually open-minded when it comes to vengeful ghosts tearing off body parts. Think in terms of Gumby being made of meatloaf with LOTS of ketchup, or “catsup”.

Return to House on Haunted Hill

The ghost of Dr. Vanacutt keeps showing up, as do his angry patients. The idea, though, is to avoid them while hunting for Baphomet. It’s discovered that if the statue is taken outside of the building, flowers will thus grow, the sun will shine and puppies will no longer get run over by 18-wheel trucks.

Return to House on Haunted Hill

Bonus: ALL the chicks in this movie are spookily gorgeous. But because of the less-than-substantial plot and ghosts that weren’t as freaky/mean as in the first movie, Return to House on Haunted Hill (2007) only reaches a simmer in an evil saucepan on afterlife’s stove. OK, I don’t know what that means, but felt it was a cool metaphor nonetheless.