Archive for spirit

Enchanting Garb, Fruit Cult, Alien Parents

Posted in Aliens, demons, Evil, Misc. Horror, paranormal, Science Fiction, Slashers with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on January 16, 2023 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

A fairy/faerie in literature, art, European folklore culture and slasher grindhouse horror movies is defined as being a type of mythical being or legendary creature and a form of spirit, often described as being metaphysical, supernatural, or preternatural — with or without a butcher knife and/or chainsaw.

Not surprisingly, many women want to be fairies, a fantasy that started with Disney’s™ Tinker Bell and the Nutcracker’s Sugar Plumb Fairy (who sounds like a drug dealer). This fantasia annually fuels the sale of countless fairy costumes every Halloween. But while most of us are content to augment our wardrobe from Spirit Halloween™, one should look to Pinterest™ for fairy fashion options. 

These exotic and otherworldly gowns (or “dresses”) — suitable for cosplay or fantasy horror movies — can fetch thousands for an ensemble that probably shouldn’t be cleaned in a coin-fed washing machine. Also, you’d have to sell a lot of teeth to the Tooth Fairy to afford one.

So while we drink absinthe (fun fact: “The Green Fairy” is the nickname for absinthe) and fantasize about wearing one of these dresses to a bachelorette party and/or doing some light grocery shopping, here are a few upcoming horror/sci-fi movies that may or may not tinker your bell…

WAKING KARMA / January 26, 2023 (VOD)

“Karma and her mother have spent their lives evading Paul, her cult leader father. With Paul closing in as Karma reaches adulthood, she and her mother flee to a friend’s remote compound. Paul tracks them there and traps them within its walls, putting Karma through a series of escalating tests designed to break her spirit and awaken an unholy inheritance that lives within her.”

So if she misbehaves, do we call her…“Bad Karma”? Heh.

SEEDS / January 31, 2023 (VOD)

Grieving mother Macha must track down her husband Andrew, a university professor who has been invited to a remote area of New England to take part in mysterious cult’s ritual in order to receive an inheritance from his uncle. The cult that worships the mystical and ancient power of the apple has also been infiltrated by the Catholic Church under the command of the very ambitious Cardinal Sinibaldi.”

An apple a day keeps organized religion away.

ONYX THE FORTUITOUS AND THE TALISMAN OF SOULS / Release pending 2023 (VOD)

“Amateur occultist Marcus J. Trillbury — aka Onyx the Fortuitous — is struggling. He’s misunderstood at home and work, but his dreams for a new life seem to be answered when he lands a coveted invitation to the mansion of his idol Bartok the Great for a ritual to raise the spirit of an ancient demon. He excitedly joins Bartok and his fellow eclectic group of devotees as they prepare for the ceremony, but pretty quickly it becomes apparent everything is not as it seems. As Onyx and his new friends fight to keep their souls, he must decide what he’s willing to truly sacrifice in order to meet his destiny.”

Marcus should worry more about getting beat up for having a dumb name than conjuring ancient demons.

ALIENS ABDUCTED MY PARENTS AND NOW I FEEL KINDA LEFT OUT / Release pending 2023 (Theaters/VOD)

“Itsy is new in town and her life seems over until she meets her space-obsessed neighbor Calvin, who believes his parents were abducted by aliens. An aspiring journalist, Itsy decides to write an exposé on Calvin but ends up discovering much more.”

Hey kid — your folks weren’t abducted. They abandoned you. Bet you’re feeling really left out now.

Partying With Ghosts, Subtitled Shark, Haunted House Insurance

Posted in Classic Horror, Evil, paranormal, Science Fiction, Sharks, Slashers with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on January 14, 2023 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

If you’re a fan of fan-made horror films, you’re gonna get all tingly over the Friday the 13th homage, Here Comes the Night: Part 3, sequel to the F-13th fan films Here Comes the Night and Here Comes the Night: Part 2, all of which are free on YouTube™. Around a half-hour long and done on a budget that wouldn’t get you a hot dog and a diet soda at a hockey game (diet sodas are the preferred drink of hardcore hockey fans, who all look like Friday the 13th’s Jason Voorhees, blood and all), you at least gotta admire the passion that goes into these enthusiastic endeavors.

A bit ‘o background: “Produced by Jason Kays and directed by Tim McCormack, Here Comes the Night: Part 3 celebrates what fans love about Jason Voorhees and the classic 80’s slasher series. The epic conclusion to Here Comes the Night is finally here! Having narrowly escaped certain death at the hands of new friends and old enemies, Allison, Billy, and Suzie find safety at a cabin across the lake. However, as the sins of the past are revealed, and the lies of the present unfold, no one is truly safe at Crystal Lake.”

While you question my sanity to post this on Saturday the 14th instead of Friday the 13th (sorry — still using last year’s calendar because I don’t know why), here are a few out now/upcoming horror/sci-fi movies that may or may not be viewable on any day of the week…  

MAKO /Out now (Netflix™)

“Visiting the site of a sunken passenger ship, eight divers face a terrifying threat beneath the surface of the Red Sea.”

This shark movie came out in someplace called Egypt (never heard of it) in 2021, but it’s now on Netflix™ in our multiverse. It’s in Arabic with wonky English subtitles, so you can’t understand a thing the shark is saying. Too bad — with all those teeth, I bet it has perfect enunciation.

GHOST PARTY / Out now (VOD)

“The annual Halloween party at Auldcraft Mansion is no ordinary party. You have to be dead to be invited. This year something has gone horribly wrong and the family must bring in a living relative to help solve the mystery. This “live” theatrical play captures the true spirit, or spirits of family reunions.”

You have to be dead to be invited? As long as there’s no dress code and they put out some chips ‘n salsa. 

CONTACT: THE CE5 EXPERIENCE / Out now (VOD)

Dr. Steven Greer and his team share their videos and photos of UFOs and extraterrestrial beings captured at CE5 events around the world.”

Those CE5 “events” are little more than UFO New Age retreats. The blurry UAP photos and videos are sorta interesting, but enough with the hippie chanting prayer circles to reach out to our space brothers; extraterrestrials already think we’re a bunch of dumbasses.

THE UNSETTLING / February 10, 2023 (VOD)

“Abena and Kwame, a Ghanaian couple, are struggling to recover from a devastating tragedy. They travel to Los Angeles for a vacation that they hope will help them find their way back to one another. Instead, during an awkward dinner with estranged friends, Vivian and Anthony, Abena is increasingly terrorized by an evil possessing the house. The house that was meant to provide refuge slowly stalks her, consuming her sorrow and trapping her in a nightmare. As her terror grows, it ultimately engulfs all four with horrifying consequences.”

They should’ve gotten haunted house renter’s insurance. And yes, that’s a real thing. I go through Obrella™ to cover my darkness-infested abode. Click here for a rate quote.

Frightful Voices, Shark Cravings, Shiny Giants

Posted in Aliens, Asian Horror, Asian Sci-Fi, demons, Evil, Fantasy, Foreign Horror, Giant Monsters, paranormal, Science Fiction, Sharks, Vampires with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 25, 2022 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

One of the better and hammy fun vampire movies of the ‘80s is Fright Night (1985), wherein a stylish, manscaped vampire moves next door to Charley Brewster, a teen a horror movie fan, who discovers his new neighbor’s penchant for sucking down neck Slurpees™. Charley enlists the help of local TV horror movie host/vampire hunter Peter Vincent (played by Planet of the Apes’ Cornelius), to expose his neighbor’s vampiric activities. The wild stuff that happens from there (sorry, no spoilers) cemented Fright Night’s cult status among horror fans, and was even remade in 2011.

Chris Sarandon, who played Jerry Dandrige, Fright Night’s the lethally smooth vampire, also starred as police detective Mike Norris in 1988’s Child’s Play (he was the guy who shot the criminal guy who, before he could die, voodoo’d himself into a plastic doll and became Chucky), and was the voice of Jack Skellington in 1993’s animated “horror” classic, The Nightmare Before Christmas. His work in horror includes 1977’s The Sentinel, 1991’s The Resurrected, Bordello of Blood in 1996, and a cameo in the 2011 Fright Night remake. (P.S. Fright Night 2: New Blood came out 2013, but he wasn’t in it. Neither was I.) And Sir Sarandon recently returned to the FN universe by voicing A. Jack Ulkrich novel Fright Night: Origins in audiobook format. This is fantastic news for people who don’t know how to read. (Hey, I was wet nursed on TV. Quit judging me.)

Here are the particulars: “You think you know the whole story, don’t you? High school isn’t going well for teenage horror fan Charley Brewster, still dealing with the loss of his father, he finds himself in his first serious relationship with the vibrant and beautiful Amy Peterson. If new love wasn’t complicated enough Charley is also failing Trigonometry. Late one night while cramming for a test Charley spies something suspicious in the yard next door, two men carrying what appears.to be a coffin. What’s going on in the old Victorian House and who are Charley’s new neighbors?”

Fright Night: Origins comes in four Amazon Audible™ options: Kindle™ ($1.99), Audiobook ($0.00), hardcover ($32.99) and paperback ($16.99). Pick your poison here. And while you’re reliving the undead, here are a few out now/upcoming horror/sci-fi movies that may or may not be improved by having ’em read to you…

UNDYING / Out now (VOD)

“A tragic car accident puts a woman in a two year coma. She wakes up to find her fiancee is dead and her friends have abandoned her. So she calls on an evil spirit to raise her fiancee from the dead and exact revenge. But revenge always comes with a price.”

Your friends bailed because you were basically a leftover meatloaf for two years. It’s not like they ran out, leaving you to pay the bar tab. And that’s punishable by death by an evil spirit? Geez, some coma patients are so cranky if they don’t get enough — or too much —sleep.

VENUS / Out now (VOD)

“After being caught stealing from her employers, club dancer Lucía seeks shelter with her estranged sister and niece in the Venus, a decrepit apartment complex on the outskirts of Madrid. Soon, Lucía discovers the apartment complex harbors a dark secret threatening to reveal itself after an unexpected solar eclipse.”

I thought all eclipses were solar. They could’ve just said eclipse.

NO SHARK / Out now (Tubi™)

“In this darkly comedic and uniquely angsty journey, twelve vignettes chronicle a young woman’s inner monologue as she visits various NYC beaches in hopes of fulfilling her dream of being eaten by a shark.”

Why is it every gal I meet wants to be eaten by a shark? It’s giving me a complex.

SHIN ULTRAMAN / January 12, 2023 (Fathom™)

“As the threat of giant unidentified lifeforms known as S-Class Species worsens in Japan, a silver giant appears from beyond Earth’s atmosphere.”

As if it needs to be said, the world could use more silver giants wearing shiny tight pants.

Goth Threads, Bloodthirsty Lawnmower, Ghost Barge

Posted in Classic Horror, demons, Evil, Foreign Horror, Ghosts, Misc. Horror, Nature Gone Wild, paranormal, Slashers, Vampires with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on November 22, 2022 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Gold brocade laced pants? Black jacquard waistcoat? Sapphire waist cincer corset? The fashion monster inside me wants out of its cage, all because I clicked on DraculaClothing.com. This clothing site, for all who live in the Darkness (or a drafty 450 ft one-bedroom apartment with insensitive neighbors), is one-stop shopping for vampire, Goth, and steampunk suits, dresses, coats, ties, jewelry, accessories, corsets, and more.

Located in the Czech Republic, Dracula Clothing’s elegantly evil fashions will unleash your inner cosplay or further define your style esthetic, all at extremely affordable prices. (Under $200 dollars, or “Romanian Lei.”) And hey, free worldwide shipping. Minunat!

Who wouldn’t want to go to a snooty masquerade ball dressed to kill in a black brocade long vest with matching velvet officer pants, an onyx tie and a rhinestone skull necklace while you hover around the buffet table, looking to bite the necks of chilled shrimp appetizers? Now THAT would be freakin’ dernier cri!

While we go to DraculaClothing.com for a neck-to-nut, creature of the night wardrobe upgrade, here are a few out now/upcoming horror movies that may or may not be stylish in the day OR night…

BLADES IN THE DARKNESS / Out now (VOD
“Tirana 1997. The chaos left by the fall of Communism has opened the doors to a bloody civil war. Matia, just a teenager, is harassed by his playmates. In an attempt to escape, he hides inside an abandoned bunker. In that spooky building, Matia will be the first to discover something scary and unthinkable that will change his whole life…a bloodthirsty horror armed with deadly blades.”

Sounds like my lawnmower has been moonlighting

MASK OF THE DEVIL / Out now (VOD)

“An intern in a porn movie production battles against the evil powers inhabiting an ancient tribal mask.”

I would very much like to be an intern on a porn movie production. Heck, I’ll pay them to hire me. Please. Don’t make me beg.

TERROR TALK / Out Now (Tubi™)

“When a virus outbreak causes widespread panic, a doomsday prepper retreats into his new house, believing that he’s safe from the dangers outside. He soon discovers his house is haunted by terrifying ghosts.”

Tough call — germs outside, ghosts inside. But it boils down to this: germs will make you a ghost, whereas ghosts can’t transmit germs. So yeah, new roommates. Problem solved. 

THE HAUNTING OF LADY-JANE / Release pending 2023 (VOD)

The peaceful waterways of the English countryside are plagued by legends of Ràn — a water spirit who collects the bodies of sinful people along the river. After a disturbing incident left Lily emotionally scarred and estranged from her parents she decides to begin her life again. Now a socially aware writer on female empowerment, she decides to tour the country with Zara, whose journey of self-identity has led her to fully explore life. Lily met Zara through her blog, they decided to become travel companions. They see a chance to travel on a barge the Lady-Jane on the English canals. The journey upriver becomes increasingly bizarre and dangerous when canal ghosts surfaces, and the spirit known as Ràn torments them on their journey.

You know how to torment that super mean Ràn fellow? Pee and/or urinate over the side of the barge into the canal, or “British lap pool.”

The Artistry of Horror, Dracula’s Cousin, Ghost Sex

Posted in Aliens, Classic Horror, demons, Evil, Ghosts, paranormal, Science Fiction, Slashers, Vampires with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on November 21, 2022 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

People imbued with the power of being able to read, and specifically this blog, know I’m a huge fan of horror movie poster art and the infinity more talented than me artists who design them. While many horror movie ad sheets are created in Photoshop (I learned PS in order to put my head on Chippendale™ dancer’s bodies), the best ones are hand-illustrated and often better than the movies themselves.

Here’s a select batch of some truly dazzling and ingenious takes on horror/sci-fi movies and links (click the artist names) to view some amazing portfolios. The Nope poster above was illustrated by Gilbert Posters (no relation, but that doesn’t stop me from implying credit during Happy Hour gatherings). The art for Smile was done by the insanely talented Nuno Sarnadas (who also did the posters for Prey and Aliens below).

Keith Goulette designed the wicked Black Phone art and you can find him swimming happily among a sea of other talented designers one redbubble.com. (Click his name to explore a whole new world of visual horror). Jack Gregory did the jaw-dropping Evil Dead art, as well as the freakishly beautiful art for Dawn of the Dead and Halloween Ends (click to see his portfolio). The It poster, which should’ve been used by the movie studio, was designed by Jorge Teles, who also did numerous takes on Batman.

While we’re not worthy and should throw away our design tools (for me it’s crayons, felt pen laundry markers, Etch A Sketch™), here are a few out now/upcoming horror movies that may or may not need new cover art done with laundry markers…

THE CURSE OF DRACULA / Out now (VOD/DVD)

“Two small-time crooks scam tourists by organizing a guided tour of a creepy manor house rumored to be haunted by the cousin of Count Dracula. Their first group consist of a Swedish Satanist, two French Goths and a Russian porn director. But the tour descends into bloody chaos when they are confronted by a mysterious phantom wielding a circular saw.”

Dracula has a cousin? The Swedish are Satanists? The French are Goths? Russians are into porn? What kind of world did I just wake up in? Guess I’ll have to start hanging out with normal people, like that ghost guy with the gasoline-powered power tool. He seems cool.

AMITYVILLE THANKSGIVING / Out now (VOD)

“Jackie and Danny’s marriage has taken a turn for the worst. They turn to what they believe to be their only option, Amityville Couples Counselor Frank Domonico, a doctor with a hidden, sinister past, who recommends an isolated cabin retreat. Little do they know that the doctor plans to end their sessions, as well as their lives, with a devilish Thanksgiving dinner — and them as the main course!

So they’re gonna eat the unhappy, fighting married couple. Bet they’ll taste bitter. Heh. They can be washed down with Annulment Ale, though. That should make everyone very…hoppy.

PARASENSE: THE NAKED EXPERIMENTS / Out now (VOD)

Paranormal veteran, Ross Allison, focuses his attention on the physical aspects of being touched by a ghost. His struggle to prove these phenomena takes a crucial turn when a real scientist and inventor, Chad Goodwin, joins his team as they take naked subjects into the most haunted sites known for supernatural physical contact.”

The best part about having intimate relations with a poltergeist is you can ghost ’em afterward. 

EXORCIST BLOODLINE / Out now (VOD)

“After moving back into her childhood home, a young woman is possessed by a depraved evil spirit masquerading as her dead mother and must battle to save her mind, body and soul.”

For some of us, it’d be hard to differentiate between a depraved evil spirit and a deceased mom. Not me, though. My mom rocks. (Had to say that, as she reads this blog, and I don’t want to be sent to my room…YET AGAIN.)

A Kaiju Reborn, Airborne Apes, Post-Puberty Exorcist

Posted in Bigfoot, Classic Horror, demons, Evil, Fantasy, Foreign Horror, Ghosts, Giant Monsters, Misc. Horror, Nature Gone Wild, paranormal, Science Fiction with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on November 19, 2022 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

The Gods of All That Is Kaiju have FINALLY answered my last call prayers. Gamera, one of the greatest giant monsters ever in the history of ever (spinning Frisbee™ flight abilities, plasma flames blasting out of mouth AND butthole area, Osmond-sized teeth), is coming back after being in hibernation since 2006. Kadokawa Daiei Studio and Netflix™ just announced they’re working on a project called Gamera: Rebirth for 2023. After I post this blog, I’ll need to go swap out my under garments because, you know…

From Joblow.com: “A giant, fire-breathing, prehistoric turtle monster, Gamera was first introduced to audiences in the 1965 film Gamera, the Giant Monster, which begins with an atomic bomb waking him from a long slumber in the Arctic. Over the next six years, Gamera returned in Gamera vs. Barugon, Gamera vs. Gyaos, Gamera vs. Viras, Gamera vs. Guiron, Gamera vs. Jiger, and Gamera vs. Zigra. When the studio was struggling with financial issues in 1980, they cut together a bunch of stock footage Gamera: Super Monster. Gamera then took a fifteen year break before being brought back in a trilogy of films directed by Shusuke Kaneko. Those were Gamera: Guardian of the Universe, Gamera 2: Attack of Legion, and Gamera 3: Revenge of Iris. The most recent film was 2006’s Gamera the Brave.”

While we look for a time machine to transport us to the premier of Gamera: Rebirth’s exact day and time in 2023, here are a few out now/upcoming horror/sci-fi movies that may or may not taste as good as giant prehistoric turtle soup

ALL EYES / Out now (VOD)

“Allen hosts a podcast about strange people and paranormal phenomena. One day, he gets fired from his job. He’s totally distraught, but soon enough, he comes across a case that just might revitalize his career. He’s contacted by a widowed farmer named Don who claims there’s a monster living in the woods near his house, so Allen travels to the man’s home to interview him and see him capture the beast.”

WTF?!? Monsters live in the woods? Dang — I live right next to some woods. This really upsets my stomach area. Sure, Bigfoot lives in there as well, but he’s not really a monster. He’s more of a Naturalist/organic hippie free spirit who just happens to occasionally scare the kale outta people.

CRYO / Out now (VOD)

“In an underground facility, five scientists wake from cryosleep with no memory of who they are or how long they’ve been asleep. They soon make a shocking realization: a killer is hunting them down there, and may even be hiding among them.”

Waking up with no memory of who they are or how long they’ve been asleep sounds like they had an epic night at the Tug Tavern instead of an underground facility.

GALE: STAY AWAY FROM OZ / Pending release 2022/2023

“Long gone are the days of emerald cities and yellow brick roads in this dark re-imagining of The Wizard of Oz. Dorothy Gale is now an elderly woman, broken by years of paranormal entanglement with a mystical realm, which has now echoed down to her only living relative, Emily, who is being called to settle unfinished business in this terrifying world of Oz.”

Hoping this one is as bloodthirsty and barbaric as the 1939 original. It better not have dork dancing and ear gouging song interludes, though. Crossing fingers for flying monkeys.

BLOOD FLOWER / Release pending 2023 (Shudder™)

“Iqbal, a 16-year-old apprentice faith healer and exorcist, is tormented by visions of the dead and spirits from other dimensions. When a malicious spirit begins to wreak havoc around him, Iqbal is forced to harness his supernatural gifts to save his family and friends.”

A 16-year-old exorcist/faith healer who can see the dead from other dimensions. At 16 I was a paperboy.

Heavy Metal Horror, Bigfoot Booby Trap, Satanic Diapers

Posted in Asian Horror, Bigfoot, Classic Horror, demons, Evil, Fantasy, Foreign Horror, Ghosts, Misc. Horror, Nature Gone Wild with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on November 9, 2022 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

What happens when you mix (or “combine”) comic books with horror and heavy metal? A reason to read, that’s what. This is what we’re getting with Black Tape, a new original horror mystery comic series from AWA Studios, telling the “fictional story of miscreant and rock idol, Jack King.” Um, fictional? I thought all rock stars were miscreants. In fact, there is/was a metal band called Miscreant. (Their 1996 album Inside The Beyond could easily be turned into a comic type book.)

From AWA Studios’ press release: “When Jack King dies suddenly at the height of his musical reign and his cause of death comes with neither rhyme or reason, subsequent events paint a picture of a singing superstar caught in a web of lies, addiction, and even the unholy powers of the occult.”

Art imitates life. Written by award-winning comic creator Dan Panosian (Iron Man, Wolverine) and illustrated by renowned international artist Dalibor Talajiæ (Deadpool, Logan), the four-issue Black Tape is situated in 1960s Los Angeles. (I thought ‘60s bands were either jingle writers for hot dog commercials or beatniks. Or both.) 

While we contemplate turning off the TV and reading a comic book (tough choice), here are few upcoming horror movies that may or may not make you bang your head to the hummable, rhythmic nature of heavy metal, or against a concrete retaining wall (same results)…

THE BIGFOOT TRAP / September 1, 2023 (VOD)

“A journalist’s life is changed forever when he’s locked inside a Bigfoot trap by an insane Sasquatch hunter.”

Bigfoot laughs derisively at the irony.

LEAVE / October 28, 2022 (Norway), Release pending 2023/2024 (US)

“A young woman tries to find her origins after having been abandoned as an infant at a cemetery wrapped in a cloth with satanic symbols. But as she gets closer to answers, a malevolent spirit is telling her to leave.”

Looked everywhere but couldn’t find said Pampers™ with pentagrams on ‘em. I did, though, come across a knock-off brand sporting upside down cross skid marks on both the inside AND outside. A malevolent spirit warned me not to buy ‘em, but I was unable to resist temptation. Evil — thy name is clearance sale.

OX-HEAD VILLAGE / Release pending 2022/2023 (VOD)

“After broadcasting a prank about a haunted building on their social media, three girls disappear. Rumors surface that they were victims of The Ox-Head Village Curse, triggering an investigation by two of their friends, desperate to find the truth about what happened.”

Three down, several hundred million to go.

MASTEMAH / June 29, 2022 (France) TBD 2022/2023 (US)

“After a traumatic accident during a hypnosis seance, Louise, a young psychiatric, opens a new office in the middle of nowhere. When she starts analyzing Theo, a dark and mysterious man, people around her start to die. Could she be confronted by the Devil himself?”

Had to look up this one: “Mastema, a personification of the Hebrew word mastemah, is an angel who appears in the Book of Jubilees, and is the father of all evil. He carries out punishments for God, as well as tempting humans and testing their faith.”

In the Book of JuJubes, however, Mastema tempts humans with colorful, gummy candy drops, testing not only their faith, but the sweet tooth as well. As if it needs to be said, those things are wickedly irresistible — and I wouldst like to live deliciously.

Haunted Houses, Haunted Babies, Haunted Sailors

Posted in Evil, Fantasy, Ghosts, Nature Gone Wild, Science Fiction with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on June 8, 2019 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Neibolt House

If you ever wanted to live in the Neibolt Street house (aka, the Well House), forget it — Pennywise, The Dancing Clown from It (2017) already squats there. If you’ve seen the movie, you already know what he does to trespassing guests. But skilled artist Lance Cardinal built an excruciatingly detailed one-of-a-kind miniature of the house (46”x 30”x30”), complete with light up interior and a full front yard and fences as seen in the pretty dang scary flick.

Neibolt House

From Lance himself: “I really loved the film and thought the production design was amazing! As soon I saw this house in the film I knew I had to re-create it in miniature. The entire thing was created from scratch, using pictures from the set that was built for the film in Oshawa, Ontario, Canada.”

Neibolt House

Amazingly, it took Lance two months to complete the iconic haunted house. The good news: he’s selling it. Find him on Facebook™ or e-mail him at lancecardinal75@gmail.com for the price and some other incredible pieces he’s putting up for snaggings.

Neibolt House

While I go look for the Neibolt House on Zillow™ (crossing fingers it isn’t being used as an Airbnb™), here are few now available/upcoming horror movies that may or may not be as scary as Pennywise’s downstairs toilet (kids aren’t the only things that float down there)…

The Child Remains

THE CHILD REMAINS (available now)
“Inspired by the shocking true story of the infamous ‘Butterbox Babies’, an expectant couple’s intimate weekend turns to terror when they discover their secluded country inn is a haunted maternity home where unwanted infants and mothers were murdered. A twisted, disturbing supernatural thriller about the evil that lurks behind the colorful postcard.”

Makes sense that a couple expecting a rug rat would embark on an intimate weekend — no risk of getting knocked up, so go nuts. Okay, that sounded better in my head.

Play or Die

PLAY OR DIE (July 2, 2019)
Lucas and Chloe, two passionate gamers, decide to participate to Paranoia, a very exclusive escape game. After solving a first riddle, they make it to the location of the finale in an abandoned mental hospital, lost in a frightening forest. There, four other participants are waiting on them. They soon realize that only one of them will get out of there alive.”

Yep, someone actually got paid to think up this story line. That person was overpaid.

Ashes

ASHES (July 9, 2019)
“After a family’s estranged aunt passes away, they’re reluctant and creeped out to receive her cremated ashes. But when a series of supernatural misfortunes beset them, they’ll have to go through Hell to be rid of her angry spirit.”

Pffft — Just kick her in the ash hole.

The Lighthouse

THE LIGHTHOUSE (2019)
The Lighthouse is a fantasy horror story set in the world of old sea-faring myths.”

Old sea-faring myths include octopus tickling games, sea horse rodeos, harpoon acupuncture, and topless mermaids sitting on ocean rocks while combing sand crabs out of their fore and aft hair with carelessly discarded clam shells.

Streaming Zombies, Witch Sisters, Evil Internet

Posted in Evil, Ghosts, Science Fiction, Slashers, Witches, Zombies with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on March 20, 2019 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Black Summer

Netflix™, the world’s most popular movie streaming service, is set to unleash a zombie apocalypse come April 11, 2019. A prequel of sorts to the five-season Z Nation on the SyFyChannel (cool series, but at times a bit hard to chew on), this one takes place just a few months after the humanity diaper-change. Whereas Z Nation started out four years into the deadening.

Z Nation

Here’s what to expect: “Set in the dark, early days of a zombie apocalypse, a mother torn from her daughter who embarks upon a harrowing journey to find her. Thrust alongside a small group of American refugees, these complete strangers must find the strength they need to fight their way back to loved ones. But in order for Rose and her team to brave this hostile new world, they will need to make brutal decisions to contend with zombies — and each other.”

Black Summer

Kinda stock for a zombie uprising. But hey, what walking dead premise isn’t? If this ain’t your jam, here are a few upcoming horror/sci-fi movies that may or may not be worth a Netflix™ subscription…

Blood Craft

BLOOD CRAFT (April 9, 2019)
“Two sisters who suffered abuse as children at the hands of their sadistic father decide, after his death, to use witchcraft to bring his spirit back to get revenge.”

Which begs the question — how do you get revenge on a ghost? It’s not like you could squirt shaving cream in his hand while he’s sleeping and then tickle his nose. If you could, that would be super harsh punishment.

Depraved

DEPRAVED (2019)
Alex leaves his girlfriend Lucy after an emotional night, walking the streets alone to get home. From out of nowhere, he is stabbed in a frenzied attack, with the life draining out of him. He awakes to find he is the brain in a body he does not recognize. This creature, Adam, has been brought into consciousness by Henry, a brilliant field surgeon suffering from PTSD after two tours in the Mideast, and his accomplice Polidori, a predator determined to cash in on the experiment that brought Adam to life. Henry is increasingly consumed with remorse over what he’s done and when Adam finally discovers a video documenting his own origin, he goes on a rampage that reverberates through the group and tragedy befalls them all.”

Sounds like Frankenstein’s getting a makeover. I bet the Queer Eye guys could do miracles with this fashion hot mess.

A Psycho's Path

A PSYCHO’S PATH (2019)
“Set in the late ’60s, a psychopath that stalks the streets of a small California desert town, killing it’s residents at random. This leaves Captain Peters and his small police force to search for the killer’s whereabouts before more victims turn up.”

So where would a killer hide in a small desert town? I don’t think this psychopath thought this one out.

Nekrotronic

NEKROTRONIC (2019)
Howard North, who unknowingly holds a secret power, is dragged into a conflict between a family of badass demon hunting Nekromancers, and Finnegan — an evil demon who has possessed the world’s Internet — and is also his mother. Molly, a fierce Nekromancer warrior, is desperate to destroy the demon and believes that Howard has the right stuff to become a true hero. Together, they must work together to exorcise the fiend from the web and blow her back to Hell.”

An evil demon who has possessed the world’s Internet? Not sure how that works, especially when the Internet has already possessed the world. Still, I bet this evil thingamajig knows all the cool porn sites.

Married Ghosts

Posted in Ghosts, Misc. Horror, TV Vixens with tags , , , , , , , , , , on June 4, 2018 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

High Spirits

Warning: High Spirits is comedy horror from the year 1988. I don’t know what’s worse — horror as comedy or the year 1988.

High Spirits

In a slick bit of entrepreneurial maneuvering a drunk Irishman (typecasting) tells everyone his ramshackle castle is haunted so that American tourist dollars will flow like cheap Scotch at a log-throwing party.

High Spirits

As if on cue a couple of real ghosts — murdered on their wedding night — are hanging out, replaying their demise without showing blood, guts, bloody guts or heads hacked from neck. Who the heck would pay to see that? I want wet entrails, dang it — and lots of ’em.

High Spirits

Key to the plot is that one of the ghosts gals wants to hook up with a non-ghost guy. I wonder if that’s where the dating term “ghosting” comes from? I’m gonna have to say yes.