Archive for spirit

Married Ghosts

Posted in Ghosts, Misc. Horror, TV Vixens with tags , , , , , , , , , , on June 4, 2018 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

High Spirits

Warning: High Spirits is comedy horror from the year 1988. I don’t know what’s worse — horror as comedy or the year 1988.

High Spirits

In a slick bit of entrepreneurial maneuvering a drunk Irishman (typecasting) tells everyone his ramshackle castle is haunted so that American tourist dollars will flow like cheap Scotch at a log-throwing party.

High Spirits

As if on cue a couple of real ghosts — murdered on their wedding night — are hanging out, replaying their demise without showing blood, guts, bloody guts or heads hacked from neck. Who the heck would pay to see that? I want wet entrails, dang it — and lots of ’em.

High Spirits

Key to the plot is that one of the ghosts gals wants to hook up with a non-ghost guy. I wonder if that’s where the dating term “ghosting” comes from? I’m gonna have to say yes. 

Pervert Ghost

Posted in Ghosts, Witches with tags , , , , , , , , , on May 9, 2018 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

An American Haunting

An American Haunting (2005) is based on the FACTUALLY DOCUMENTED Bell Witch saga in witch, uh, which a ghost of a freshness-expired parishioner of the black arts torments a Tennessee family in 1817. Off to a good start.

An American Haunting

The Bell family daughter is visited nightly by an unseen force that rips at her nightshirt and blankets and throws her around the room as if an empty beer can. Her screams are making it tough for anyone else to get some rest.

An American Haunting

This goes on and on until the Bells invite a preacher over for dinner and the holy moly man sees for himself the demonic transactions. Through flashbacks we see glimpses of things that in the end add up to something worse than a ghost, who everybody believes is the totally upset spirit of a neighbor John Bell (the dad) swindled out of a land business deal. If only it was that easily explained.

An American Haunting

Deviating from the FACTUALLY DOCUMENTED Bell Witch story, the conclusion, while steeped in the supernatural, reveals that John Bell had a hankerin’ for his nubile young daughter and made unwanted midnight visits to her room. Ugly subject matter made worse by disguising it as a ghost story.

An American Haunting

The real Bell Witch isn’t gonna like this one bit.

Happy Alien Day, Dinosaurs vs. Criminals, Rock Mom

Posted in Aliens, Classic Horror, Evil, Giant Monsters, Nature Gone Wild, Science Fiction, Scream Queens, TV Vixens, UFOs with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on April 26, 2018 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Alien Day

Today (Thursday, April 26, 2018) is Alien Day. And yes, it’s a globally recognized religious holiday. Traditional gifts include blurry photographs, night trips to Uranus, watches that stop for hours at a time and unearthly implants.

HR Giger Museum Bar

I’m sure you have a lot of themed activities planned, like going to the YMCA and getting probed in the locker room, inviting fellow abductees over to watch E.T. the Extraterrestrial (1982) and LOLing at that turd-shaped toilet plunger alien, or even stopping by the Museum HR Giger Bar in Château St. Germain, Gruyères, Switzerland (fashioned in part to honor of the late Giger’s Alien concept art) to slug down a few Romulan Ales while trying to score with “female” lifeforms.

Area 51

I’m headed for Area 51 and taking a few UFOs out for a test spin. It’s important to test drive a few before laying down the big bucks. FYI: Keep the extras like GPS but lose the LoJack™ — the government’s gonna steal it anyway, so why bleed the weasel?

E.T. the Extraterrestrial

Don’t forget to “phone home” if you party a little too much with your space brothers. Here are  few upcoming horror/sci-fi movies to help you forget tomorrow exactly what happened on your Uranus. (Don’t worry; it’ll all come back to vividly haunt you on Facebook™)…

The Jurassic Games

THE JURASSIC GAMES (June 12, 2018/VOD | July 3, 2018/DVD)
“The film imagines a world set in the near future wherein ten Death Row convicts are chosen to compete in The Jurassic Games, the ultimate virtual reality game show that pits its players against dinosaurs and each other. However, there is a catch; if you die in the virtual game, you also die in reality. As the devious Host continues adding improbable challenges, the characters will find the odds stacked against them as only one victor can emerge as winner and reclaim their freedom.”

The TRUE Hunger Games — heh. So criminals versus dinosaurs. My money’s on the dinosaurs. 

Venom

VENOM (October 5 (2018)
“One of Marvel’s most enigmatic, complex and badass characters comes to the big screen, starring Academy Award nominated actor Tom Hardy as the lethal protector, Venom.”

Venom

Glad they re-serviced the key art. The first one looked like Mothman horked up a Rorschach test.

Embryo

EMBRYO (2018)
Kevin and his girlfriend Evelyn, while camping out in the woods in the Chile countryside, are abducted and Evelyn is impregnated by otherworldly beings. As the entity inside her begins to grow at a rapid rate, Evelyn discovers that the cravings she’s experiencing can only be satiated by the taste of human flesh and blood. When she attacks a doctor, Kevin decides not to hand her over to the authorities, but to go on the run and try to get to big city where they can find help to remove the thing that’s slowly taking over Evelyn’s body.”

Creature feature unsafe sex knocker-uppers aren’t new. A few off the top of the ‘ol untouched condom display rack: The Mole People (1956), Day the World Ended (1956), The Alligator People (1959), Alien (1979), Humanoids From The Deep (1980), The Beast Within (1982), Inseminoid (1981), The Fly (1986), The Terror Within (1989)… I could go on for another nine months. Then there’s the reverse impregnation sci-fi romance tale that is Species (1995). Unfortunately, for you, there is no such thing as a “movie after” pill.

Hollow Body

HOLLOW BODY (2018)
“A struggling rock band led by Jimmy Kleen makes a deal with Rick Roland, a shady record executive. Things take a dark turn when the band’s lead singer Rachel Swann and her controlling stage mother, are struck by lightning and killed. Rachel comes back to life, now possessed by the spirit of her dead mother and with strange electrical powers she can’t control. Both personalities struggle for dominance of her body while the band begins to take off. Rachel’s bandmate discovers the dark secret behind the band’s success: Rachel is using her electrical powers to kill men and drain them of their electricity, transmuting it into electrifying performances. He and Jimmy must decide if they will stop her or if the high cost of success is a price they are willing to pay.”

Sounds like Shocker (1989) with guitars. For another struck-by-lighting-and-becomes-electricity “accidents”, look no further than Supergirl’s not-BFF, Livewire on the hit CW hit TV series. Say what you will about her being bonkers and able to throw electricity around like parade candy, she could re-charge your cell phone in, like, one second. That’s pretty neat.

A Ghost You Can’t See

Posted in Evil, Foreign Horror, Ghosts with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , on April 16, 2018 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

The Dead Room

In the 2015 scare-deficient The Dead Room, three paranormal researchers go into a run down house in the woods that a family fled after being spooked out of their lease by something invisible and angry. Think Casper the Unfriendly Ghost. An insurance company hired them to prove/disprove the place is haunted. It is. Claim settled.

The Dead Room

The team is made up of Holly, a young Goth-y girl who is a psychic, Liam, the guy who knows how to run all the cameras/gear by plugging the right chords into the right holes, and the older man, Scott, is an outright skeptic. Once geared up, they wait for the ghost to make spooky stuff happen. It takes a while, but soon the unseeable entity starts throwing furniture around like it was being yanked by fishing line. Then anything sharp gets hucked right at soft and splittable heads.

The Dead Room

After much door slamming, windows breaking, books unshelving themselves and indoor wind, the crew abandons their paid gig and packs their cameras to leave. It’s here they see smoke-like smoke coming from behind a wall. Doesn’t smell like burning, so clearly there’s a ghost in the walls. Time for some sledgehammer action.

The Dead Room

After breaking through the sheetrock, they discover a room with a ladder leading down into a hole. Well heck, who wouldn’t want to go down there? I’m surprised there wasn’t a pushing contest to see who got to go first. Once in the “basement”, they find a mummified corpse of an old woman chained to a chair. She looks like she hasn’t washed her hair for decades. Ick.

The Dead Room

And it’s here the team figures out the secret behind the hauntings. Unfortunately, their revelation came a few beats too late and the ghost you never get to see evicts all of them — permanently. If this sounds familiar, it’s because they took giant ice cream scoops of The Legend of Hell House (1973) and slapped a dumb title on it.

Stock Market Horror, Jealous Ghosts, Cult Rentals

Posted in Classic Horror, Evil, Foreign Horror, Ghosts, Science Fiction with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on January 20, 2018 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Horror Equity Fund

Do you have an HEF in your investment portfolio? If not, you might consider it. Why? HEF is an acronym for Horror Equity Fund, Inc.™ (Film & Entertainment Investment Platform), a way to invest in the horror genre and to build your future on all things entertainment scary.

Horror Equity Fund

The mission statement from Marlon Schulman, Founder and CEO of Horror Equity Fund: “Today, we are experiencing a new golden era in Horror entertainment. Our model establishes a cross-collateralized, diversified portfolio that mitigates risk and subsequently increases the opportunity for the highest return on investment. HEF curates, develops, and accelerates to market projects in film, television, virtual reality, augmented reality, live presentations, publishing, video gaming, merchandising, Internet, and other transmedia categories, creating a unique portfolio of profit participation.”

“Though the commitment to Horror and Thriller entertainment is thriving, the world of Horror has lacked a community where they can find one another, participate in and profit from this popular genre. Horror Equity Fund offers those fans, content creators and investors transparency, honesty, integrity and one of the deepest creative benches in Horror.”

“Fans, Content Creators, and Investors will begin to experience the benefits of HEF and immediately participate in the Mutual Fund of Horror.”

Horror Equity Fund

Man, I can’t wait to invest, once I look under the couch cushions and relieve my virtual piggy bank of all its precious bit coins. At $100 minimum investment/$1 per share (I’ll have to go without beer for one day), this seems like a no-brainer. And if there’s anything I’m good at, it’s being a no-brainer. This is a crowd-funding venture, so check out their highly impressive website for your guide to banking on all things horror: CLICK HERE.

While you’re doing your Wizard of Wall Street thing, here are a few upcoming horror/sci-fi TV and movies waiting for you to invest in your couch…

Ash vs. Evil Dead

ASH vs. EVIL DEAD/SEASON 3 (February 25/Starz™)
Bruce Campbell leads the cast, reprising the role of Ash Williams; Lucy Lawless, as Ruby, devises her most diabolical plan to defeat Ash and raise Hell on earth; Ray Santiago as Pablo Simon Bolivar, forever loyal to Jefe (Ash), will realize his true destiny in the battle against evil; and Dana DeLorenzo as Kelly Maxwell, whose single goal is to kill Ruby and end the Evil Dead torment once and for all.”

Disclaimer: I previously plugged this and used the same art. What a lazy ass, am I. Just excited for season three, is all. A great day when you can turn on the television and see evil run wild. (Not referring to Republicans and/or politicians in general.) Ash vs. Evil Dead is incredibly gore gooshy, fun, funny and a highly addictive (for me, anyway) TV adaptation. Guess where I’ll be on February 25?

The Housemaid

THE HOUSEMAID (February 16, 2018)
Vietnam, 1953: Linh, a poor, orphaned young woman, finds employment as a housemaid in a crumbling rubber plantation presided over by the emotionally fragile French officer Sebastien Laurent. Soon, a torrid love affair develops between the two — a taboo romance that rouses the ghost of Laurent’s dead wife, who won’t rest until blood flows. Submerged in moody Gothic atmosphere, this stylish supernatural saga confronts the dark shadows of Vietnam’s colonial past while delivering heart-stopping scares.”

Great — a jealous female ghost.  Hell hath no fury, blah, blah, blah. When you’re on the receiving end of a female — back from the dead or otherwise — hellbent on jealous revenge, best to disappear yourself.

House of Demons

HOUSE OF DEMONS (February 2018)
Gwen, Matthew, Katrina, and Spencer were best friends for years, until a terrible tragedy tore them apart, and left all of them in a state of arrested development. Ten years later, they’re reunited for a destination wedding to stay together in a rented house. What they don’t know is in the late ’60s, the house was home to a Manson Family-like cult, run by Frazer, a charismatic former scientist pushing the boundaries of human consciousness. Over the course of one long night, everyone must confront their darkness or be destroyed by it.”

I wonder if when renting houses, cults pay first and last and a damage deposit, as well as having their credit history checked? (Note to cults — if you have a pet, be prepared to pay extra.)

Demon House

DEMON HOUSE (March 16, 2018)
“As mass hysteria breaks out over an alleged demonic possession in an Indiana home referred to as a ‘Portal to Hell,’ Ghost Adventures host and paranormal investigator Zak Bagans buys the house, sight unseen, over the phone. He and his crew then become the next victims of the most documented case of demonic possession in US history…the ‘House of 200 Demons.’”

200 demons living under one roof? Good luck getting in some bathroom time. And if your turn is next, keep a can of Glade™ handy. “Hell” and “smell” rhyme for a reason.

An Even Bigger Godzilla, Evil Ghosts, Sex With Aliens

Posted in Aliens, Evil, Ghosts, Giant Monsters, Godzilla, Misc. Horror, Nature Gone Wild, Science Fiction, UFOs, Zombies with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 28, 2017 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Godzilla

Bloody-Disgusting.com recently posted the above Godzilla size comparison chart, and it shows just how much bigger G-Man is in Godzilla: Planet of the Monsters (2017), the hit Japanese anime movie released in November.

In the movie, Godzilla is just shy of 1,000 feet tall. The original 1954 Godzilla is 164 feet tall, about the size of the 2017 Godzilla’s leavings. I’d wager no matter what matter passes through his intestinal tract, everything comes out shaped like him. That seems painful. But hey, after decades of being blasted with heavy artillery, Godzilla can take it.

Godzilla

And speaking of recycled extreme burritos, here are a few now-available-for-streaming horror and sci-fi that may or may not have you leaving a Godzilla-sized offering in the ‘ol porcelain charity collection bowl…

Zombies Have Fallen

ZOMBIES HAVE FALLEN (available now)
“A young woman who possesses the supernatural powers and visions of an upcoming apocalypse is aided by a retired bounty hunter who must protect her from those who wish to use her abilities for evil.”

You don’t need supernatural powers to have visions of all the upcoming apocalypses — that’s what beer and politicians are for.

Love & Saucers

LOVE & SAUCERS (available now)
David Huggins lost his virginity to an alien woman — among 100 other E.T. encounters — and chronicled it all in surreal paintings, few of which have ever been seen. This documentary is his story.”

The now-72-years-old Mr. Huggins goes on public record to let everyone know he gave his flower to an alien gal with big boobs when he was 17. Now, 55 years later, he paints pictures (suitable for framing) of this game-changing incident, as well as lots of other “experiences” with extraterrestrials. Let’s hope this movie isn’t rated G.

Wake The Dead

WAKE THE DEAD (available now)
“After a near death incident leaves Kristin scarred with a terrifying connection to the spirit world, her family attempts to break her free of an evil spirit’s hold.”

Seems kinda stock — evil spirits are so yesterday. Thinking out loud here, but wouldn’t the term “spirit world” be a cool name for a liquor store?

The Garden

THE GARDEN (available now)
“Horror, euphoria, and madness ensue when Mask encounters a blind stranger with a television fixed to his arm. Dark, esoteric and unforgiving, The Garden subverts traditional narrative and challenges the viewer with intense audiovisual stimulation. Warning, this video may potentially trigger seizures for people with photosensitive epilepsy. Viewer discretion is advised.”

If I had a television hooked up to my arm, I’d never leave the house. As for the movie possibly triggering an epileptic event, that’s one heckuva disclaimer. Let’s hope it doesn’t give anyone a taste for seizure salads.

Dancing With Ghosts

Posted in Asian Horror, Evil, Foreign Horror, Ghosts with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on November 26, 2017 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Wishing Stairs

If you don’t speak conversational Korean at fancy cocktail parties, you likely passed on Wishing Stairs (2003), the third installment South Korean horror series, Whispering Corridors. (Or as I like to conversationally blurt out cocktail parties, Yeogogoedam 3: Yeowoogyedan.)

Wishing Stairs

Now that you’re suitably impressed with my fancy dumbassery, in an all-female Korean dance school, the girl’s dormitory holds a dark secret: none of the chicks shave their legs. Okay, that’s not actually part of the plot…BUT IT SHOULD BE. (Note to girls who don’t shave their legs — please don’t kick my behind quarters; it’s just a joke, I hair swear.)

Wishing Stairs

The plot problem starts when two classmates compete for a spot in the Russian “So You Think You Can Dance” ballet. Just so happens there’s a nearby eerie staircase with 28 steps. If you count the steps as you go up, a 29th step will reveal itself in the form of a fox spirit and will grant you a wish. You can see where this is going.

Wishing Stairs

In a see-it-a-mile-away betrayal maneuver, So-hee gets pushed down the stairs and ends up crippled. Unable to cut the rug ever again, she soon commits suicide but gets wished back to life by…the Wishing Stairs.

Wishing Stairs

The spirit of So-hee returns to revenge haunt the guilty party by possessing Hye-ju, her only friend in her pre-dead life, for some “pay it forward” retribution. This takes the form of being stabbed by scissors (ouch), being burned alive (double ouch) and being crushed in the stomach area with a deathly death hug. (Love hurts.)

Wishing Stairs

As this is the third in a series of haunted Korean lesbian schoolgirl movies (Whispering Corridors/1998, Memento Mori/1999), it’s just as boring as the first two, which are equally as scareless and shockless and twice as predictable.

Wishing Stairs

Twenty-six, twenty-seven, twenty-eight…I wish this movie didn’t suck.

P.S. I don’t really go to fancy cocktail parties. Yes, I’m into host booze, but not dress codes that require me not to wear black T-shirts of obscure Swedish death metal bands.