Archive for living dead

Zombie Kingdom

Posted in Asian Horror, Evil, Foreign Horror, Nature Gone Wild, Zombies with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on February 13, 2019 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Kingdom

Do you like watching skin-snacking zombies tearing into soon-to-be-expired flesh? Who doesn’t? Which is why, if you aren’t already, you might wanna watch Kingdom, a period piece Korean zombie six-episode flesh-fest that showed up on Netflix™ on January 25, 2019. I do believe with all my heart that was just a few weeks ago as of this writing.

Kingdom

I previewed this a period piece ago, but in case you were combing your hair and missed it, here’s the premise…

Kingdome

“The deceased king rises and a mysterious plague begins to spread; the prince must face a new breed of enemies to unveil the evil scheme and save his people.”

Kingdom

Sort of tantalizing, but it doesn’t begin to hint at the slaughterhouse gore and zombie action therein. The first episode, set back in the days where starving poor people lived in house made out of bamboo and mud and rich people wallowed in the mud of wealth and much cleaner clothes, takes nearly the whole one hour first show to get going. But when it does, have something to clean up the mud you’ll no doubt fill your pants with.

Kingdom

An overloaded “hospital” (made of bamboo and mud) is getting desperate for food and medicine. The 100 year old head doctor hasn’t been seen for days. And when he finally shows up, he’s carrying the rotting corpse of a young unlucky previous human. Well hey, cook that sucker up and feed it to the ecstatic starving people! Just don’t tell them what they’re eating. (It tastes like Peking duck — a bit gamey, but lip-smackingly tasty.)

Kingdom

Once consumed, people go into mouth-frothing spasms, die painfully, then come back to life and go all World War Z on everybody standing nearby not yet dead. And like the zombies in World War Z (2013), these undead heads relentlessly run, tackle, climb and throw themselves off roofs. And they do something else not usually seen in zombie movies. (No spoiler, but there’s a hint in 2007’s I Am Legend.)

Kingdom

It only takes a few seconds for a zombie bite to get you up and running, which means this plague is a flippin’ pandemic. Tons of butt-clenching close calls, explicit gore and a sub-plot involving the royal elite abandoning their lower than lower class subjects. It will make you mad if you’re lower than low.

Kingdom

Get past the political positioning first episode and get ready for a top notch flesh-snacking, which does a good job of leveling the social class playing field.

Rubber Slasher, Decade Zombies, Robo-Mom

Posted in Aliens, Classic Horror, Evil, Science Fiction, Slashers, UFOs, Zombies with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on January 30, 2019 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Chucky TV

If you’re gettin’ the itch for psychopathic rubber dolls that uses cuss wordings, The SyFy Channel™ has a Chucky TV series based on the Child’s Play franchise in the works. You can stop yawning any time now.

Chucky TV

Here’s what Don Mancini, Chucky’s “dad,” has to say about taking the one punchline joke into our living rooms: “The show will be a fresh take on the franchise, allowing us to explore Chucky’s character with a depth that is uniquely afforded by the television series format, while staying true to the original vision that has terrorized audiences for over three decades now.”

Chucky TV

When you quit yawning, here are a few upcoming horror/sci-fi movies that may or may not make you use cuss like a rubber doll…

Matriarch

MATRIARCH (April 9, 2019)
Rachel and her husband, Matt are stranded after wrecking their car on a remote Scottish road. Though hostile at first, a nearby farmer and his wife welcome them in after learning that Rachel is with child. Suddenly, Rachel realizes the family’s ‘daughter’ is a local girl who’d gone missing years before. But when she and Matt attempt to escape, they’re held at gunpoint — just as Rachel goes into labor. Will their child’s first day on earth be the couple’s last?”

There’s a good idea — go for a scenic drive in the country with a wife about ready to give birth. That kind of thing could really do a number on the car’s upholstery.

Zombieland Double Tap

ZOMBIELAND: DOUBLE TAP (October 11, 2019)
Taking place 10 years after the original, the zombie slayers face off against the many new kinds of zombies that have evolved since the first movie, as well as some new human survivors. Most of all, they have to face the growing pains of their own snarky, makeshift family.”

So those four “zombie slayers” managed to live 10 years without being eaten into chewable chunks? That’s less believable than a zombie apocalypse.

I Am Mother

I AM MOTHER (2019)
“A teenage girl is raised underground by a kindly robot ‘Mother’ — designed to repopulate the Earth following the extinction of humankind. But their unique bond is threatened when an inexplicable stranger arrives with alarming news.”

I’m no expert, but aren’t teenage girls supposed to be raised above ground?

Skyman

SKYMAN (2019)
Is self-proclaimed alien ‘experiencer’ Carl Merryweather on the path to filming his own alien abduction, or is he just another crackpot looking for fame and fortune? Carl himself may not be completely sure, but he is determined to take us on a journey in search of the answer. And that journey ends at the very spot in the desert where it all began almost 30 years ago…a chance meeting with an alien he calls the Skyman.”

This one comes from one of the people behind The Blair Witch Project (1999), which means this has the high potential of sucking as much as that movie did. Probably gonna be filmed with a hand-held camera, too.

Hell Juice, Drug-Addict Ghosts, Visually-Impaired Zombies

Posted in Evil, Ghosts, Science Fiction, Zombies with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on January 26, 2019 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Hellboy Tiki Mug

Need something to put your cocktail in that doesn’t make you look like members-only country club snob? Try the new Hellboy Geeki Tikis Mug, available at FYE in mid-March, 2019. And at a non-hellish $19.99, you can afford to class up your glass.

Hellboy

The mug is ceramic, 7.5” tall, and holds an impressive 25 ounces of hell juice. And because it’s important, the mug is dishwasher and microwaveable sage. Whew!

Hellboy

The new Hellboy remake opens on April 12, 2019. The new ad art looks cool. The Hellboy Geeki Tikis Mug looks cool. Drinking from the mug while at the movie would be cool. So while we wait for both to get here, fill your glass with these now available/upcoming horror/sci-fi movies that may or may not be dishwasher/country club safe…

Dry Blood

DRY BLOOD (available now)
“In a rural mountain town, an unstable drug addict must unravel a surreal murder mystery as he’s terrorized by malevolent ghosts, a deranged sheriff, and the frightening hallucinations from his withdrawal.”

P.S. Don’t do drugs.

Spirits in the Dark

SPIRITS IN THE DARK (2019)
“A lonely widower finds a mysterious video on his computer that leads him to an abandoned town occupied by an ominous entity.”

If you’re a lonely widower, an abandoned town is not a good place to meet new and exciting entities. Might I suggest 7-Eleven™ right around 2AM.

Deadsight

DEADSIGHT (2019)
“A partially blind man and a pregnant policewoman who are thrown together in a fight for survival during a deadly virus outbreak.”

Deadly virus outbreak = zombies. Not partially blind or pregnant zombies, either. These zombies are 100% healthy with healthy appetites. Bon appétit.

Echoes of Fear

ECHOES OF FEAR (2019)
“After inheriting her grandfather’s house, Alysa must confront the mystery of his sudden death and the evil that hides inside.”

Man, these types of horror movie press releases have become as cookie-cutter as the movies themselves. Wonder if the evil this time is salmonella-tainted jars of preserves in the fruit cellar? That also might explain grandpa’s sudden death. Kick out those jams, Mother Smucker.

Sweet Tooth Sci-Fi, Early-Period Zombies, Marsh Monster

Posted in Asian Horror, Asian Sci-Fi, Evil, Fantasy, Foreign Horror, Giant Monsters, Misc. Horror, Nature Gone Wild, Science Fiction, TV Vixens, Zombies with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on January 2, 2019 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Stranger Things

If you’re a fan of Stranger Things (and who on this planet isn’t?), Itsugar.com just made available a whole bowl of Stranger Things themed candy, from My Little Pollywog gummy to Barb Missing Milk Carton (full of chocolate malt balls) to the Upside Down Chocolate Bar — half premium milk chocolate and half gray-speckled white chocolate. Pack your bags — you’re about to go to Yum Town.

Stranger Things

Stranger Things

Before you go indulging your taste for all things stranger and sweet, here are a few upcoming horror/sci-fi streaming series, which may or may not give you cavities…

Stranger Things 3

STRANGER THINGS 3 (July 4, 2019/Netflix™)
Titles for the new episodes include: “Suzie, Do You Copy?, “The Mall Rats,” “The Case of the Missing Lifeguard,” “The Sauna Test,” “The Source,” “The Birthday,” “The Bite” and “The Battle of Starcourt.”

That’s all they’re giving us for now. Fine by me — the Stranger Things series is so addictively bingeful, it should be classified as some sort of visual drug, like porno. Except instead of Jennifer Lawrence’s Photoshopped naked/nude body wrapped around mine, you get the Demogorgon, which may or may not know who Jennifer Lawrence is. Or me.

Kingdom

KINGDOM (January 26, 2019/Netflix™)
In a kingdom defeated by corruption and famine, a mysterious plague spreads to turn the infected into monsters. The crown prince, framed for treason and desperate to save his people, sets out on a journey to unveil what evil lurks in the dark.

Looking forward to this South Korean period piece zombie apocalypse chewfest. And hey, it’s gonna be a series, which means more couch time for this professional squatter.

The Punisher

THE PUNISHER (2019/Netflix™)
“After exacting revenge on those responsible for the death of his wife and children, Frank Castle uncovers a conspiracy that runs far deeper than New York’s criminal underworld. Now known throughout the city as The Punisher, he must discover the truth about injustices that affect more than his family alone.”

If you saw Season One of Netflix’s The Punisher, it certainly lived up to its name — each show contained some of the most face-pinchingly brutal fight scenes this side of Daredevil ever filmed for enjoyment purposes. And Jon Bernthal, who played the loose cannon Shane on The Walking Dead, is the perfect choice to deliver the business end of his pummel-happy fists. I am so happy right now.

Swamp Thing

SWAMP THING (2019/DC Universe)
Abby Arcane, an employee at Atlanta’s Center for Disease Control, investigates what seems to be a deadly swamp-born virus in a small town in Louisiana but soon discovers that the swamp holds mystical and terrifying secrets.”

A new series set to stream on DC Universe. As much as Swamp Thing is cool, it remains to be seen if he’s $7.99 a month cool.

White Privilege Zombie

Posted in Classic Horror, Evil, Nature Gone Wild, Science Fiction, Zombies with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 15, 2018 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

White Zombie

Madeleine and Neil are in love and want to get married at a Haitian plantation. Sounds romantic. And hey, Monsieur Beaumont owns a Haitian plantation; why not go to Haiti and get hitched in the middle of the night while zombies roam and voodoo drum solos echo across the countryside?

White Zombie

But that sly ’ol dog Beaumont has a hidden agenda. His flimsy plan is to get Madeline there and somehow try to convince her to dump Neil and let him feel her up, through sickness and in health. He explains this while walking her down the aisle. Nice timing, dude.

White Zombie

But Beaumont didn’t get that nice suit by taking the long way around success. He contacts his neighbor Legendre, an evil man whose very glare will make you poop in your pants. And he knows how to turn you into a zombie (which accounts for all those minimum wage workers in his castle and mill). He wants Legendre to use his black mojo to make Madeline hook up with him. Legendre gives the emotionally f’d up Beaumont some zombie dust.

White Zombie

One minute after being pronounced Mrs. Neil Something, she smells her wedding bouquet and, wham, deader than a door nail. Neil freaks. Beaumont takes the body away and sure enough, it comes back to life. But not life as he thought. Madeline is as emotionless as a married couple, and hardly even blinks. Beaumont goes back to Legendre and wants a refund. Slight problem — once a zombie, always a zombie. 

White Zombie

Meanwhile, Neil and a priest friend try and find his corpse bride. Well, heck — she’s wandering around Legendre’s beach front castle (complete with zombie maids and stunning ocean views from every room except the dungeon). Neil finds Madeline, but she gives him the cold shoulder. (Neil didn’t know she was a zombie. Heck, he thought she was dead.) 

White Zombie

A small scuffle ensues with Legendre ultimately being thrown off one of his many scenic balconies onto the beach rocks below. It’s only after Legendre dies that the zombie spell is broken. Neil’s future is now full of smooches and feeling ups.

White Zombie

White Zombie (1932) has an interesting premise and is full of Bela Lugosi eyebrow close-ups, which look like sweater sleeves taped to his forehead. But shabby pacing, no real scares, and several glasses of spilled wine slow this thing down to a zombie crawl. (I don’t drink wine, but I hate to see ANY alcohol go to waste.)

EDM Zombies

Posted in Classic Horror, Science Fiction, Zombies with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on September 9, 2018 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Return of the Living Dead 5: Rave to the Grave

In Return of the Living Dead 5: Rave to the Grave (2005), an Ecstasy/energy drink drug is synthesized in a college lab from the deadly chemical from the preceding movie (i.e., Return of the Living Dead 4: Necropolis/2005).

Return of the Living Dead 5: Rave to the Grave

It was “discovered” in an oil drum in the attic of the uncle/secret military government dude who originally developed the nerve gas fumes, which reanimates the dead. Must’ve been hard to get the oil drum up into the attic without spilling it all over boxes of old Christmas lights, clothes that seem to shrink with every passing year and family photos that remind you how fat you’ve become.

Return of the Living Dead 5: Rave to the Grave

The easily swallowed pills turn the experimental-drug-taking “free-your-mind” students into even more mindless zombies, just in time for the big Halloween rave. Rave music sucks. It always has. Anybody who thinks it doesn’t is no doubt already brain dead, because you’d have to be to listen to that computerized noise.

Return of the Living Dead 5: Rave to the Grave

But I digress. The big party turns into a brain du jour buffet, with under-grad zombies biting and chewing on whatever is inside the heads of those being bitten, which looks like bubble gum with hair on it. There’s even a zombie rat, that turns out to be a better actor than everyone combined.

Return of the Living Dead 5: Rave to the Grave

One part comedy, one part horror, one hundred parts stupid. No wonder zombie college students want brains — they never had any to begin with.

Historical Zombies, Future Mutants, Ultimate Bully Solution

Posted in Asian Horror, Classic Horror, Evil, Foreign Horror, Nature Gone Wild, Science Fiction, Zombies with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on September 6, 2018 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

The Walking Dead

Someone, I don’t know who, has released the key art for AMC’s The Walking Dead Season 9 premier for October 7. This is bittersweet as it’s widely reported that it’s the last season for lead TWD star Andrew Lincoln (aka, Rick Grimes). The zombies couldn’t take him down, so it looks like after all these flesh-chomping years, boredom has.

The Walking Dead

From the press release: “Show-runner Angela Kang recently spoke about the season’s time jump. ‘We’ll explore what happened as man made objects and structures break down. Infrastructure like roads and bridges are changing and crumbling. And we’ll also explore what happens as resources are getting low. There’s a fun Western vibe that has emerged. We are going into a period where a lot of the things that we’ve seen in previous seasons have broken down, so they’ve got these horses and carriages that are being drawn around instead of cars. Things are lit with oil lamps. People are using different kinds of weaponry. There’s a real grittiness to it that I think will be fun and fresh for the viewers.’”

The Walking Dead

Yeah, but what about the zombies? As a “day one” fan, I’ve seen how the walking dead have been relegated to being rotting frosting on a overstuffed cake with increasingly too many ingredients. And by ingredients, I mean too many characters and internal story lines. But I’ll still watch Season 9 to see how Rick, back to wearing his Sheriff hat that his now dead son Carl wore for several seasons, hangs it up.

The Walking Dead

While we all theorize with furrowed brow, here are a few upcoming horror/sci-fi movies that you may or may not want to hang your hat on…

Sleep No More

SLEEP NO MORE (October 2, 2018)
“Five graduate students are conducting a study to prove the theory that once you’ve passed 200 hours without sleep, you will never need sleep again. As the hours tick by and their struggle to stay awake intensifies, they each start to have strange and unsettling experiences. Visions from the past, violent impulses and terrifying waking nightmares begin to take hold and turn this experiment into a desperate fight for survival.”

I could see why someone would stay awake for almost nine days when there’s so much good stuff on TV to binge watch. Then again, it’s really hard to resist the siren call of the couch ‘n blankie. For me, practically impossible.

Rampant

RAMPANT (October/2018)
Yi Chung fights against ‘Night Demons’ to save the Joseon Nation. Yi Chung is the son of the king, and the greatest martial artist in the world. Although he is given to the Qing Empire as a political hostage, he returns home when his brother, the Crown Prince Yi Young, calls him back after many years. And it’s because of the nightmarish monsters plaguing the country that Yi Chung is tasked to destroy.”

This one is said to be a South Korean “historical action zombie” movie and is already getting gleeful comparisons to the hit South Korean zombie movie, Train To Busan (2016). It also means we’ll have to watch it with sub-titles. If I wanted to read, I’d buy a coloring book.

Mutant Blast

MUTANT BLAST (2018)
“A fearless soldier and TS-347 — a man with superhuman strength — are being pursued by a military cell responsible for scientific experiments that have resulted in a zombie apocalypse. On the way, they meet Pedro, a man with few ambitions and a great hangover. Together, they will try to escape to a safe place, but complications will cross their paths in the form of a nuclear bomb.”

“A man with few ambitions and a great hangover.” I should sue for copyright infringement.

The Shed

THE SHED (2018)
“When orphaned Stan finds a murderous creature of the night has taken refuge in his backyard tool shed — and killed his grandfather— he can’t go to the cops who’ll likely put him in foster care. Stan tries to battle the demon alone, while Dommer, Stan’s best friend, thinks it’s the solution to their bully problems, if only they can lure the bullies to the Shed. Sometimes monsters turn regular folks into heroes, and sometimes they just turn them into different monsters.”

Resourceful, but not the best way to clear your path of bullies. Start with a Super Soaker™ loaded with asparagus pee and watch ‘em fall like Republicans.