Archive for France

Godzilla Sells Out, Kissable Demon Hunter, Earth vs. Hell

Posted in Aliens, Asian Horror, Asian Sci-Fi, Classic Horror, demons, Evil, Fantasy, Foreign Horror, Giant Monsters, Godzilla, paranormal, Science Fiction, Vampires, Werewolves with tags , , , , , , , , , , , on January 8, 2023 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

You snooze, you lose. That’s the sum yield of one’s non-diligence when shopping on the MondoShop.com website, containing one-of-a-kind original horror/sci-fi/movie art designed by some of the best illustrators in every zip code. No sooner than Mondo posts the art, they’ve sold out within minutes. If you’re an impulse-buyer, timing is everything.

Poster art of Godzilla, Wolf-Man, Bride of Frankenstein, A Nightmare on Elm Street, Alien, Dracula, Phantom of the Opera, Mummy, RoboCop, Dirty Harry (when you think about it, RoboCop and Dirty Harry are kinda the same thing)… The list goes on and on and shopping for ‘em MondoShop.com is a frustrating experience because all the art is immediately sold out. You’ll need to drink an adult beverage to placate your inner shopper.

But there’s a solution — sign up for their free newsletter, which tells you exactly what the upcoming art is and when it goes on sale. All are surprisingly affordable for being limited edition ($50 — $400). And know that Mondo sells more than posters — there’s limited edition curated horror movie soundtrack colored vinyl albums, toys, puzzles, CDs, board games, books, tiki mugs and more. But unless you visit their website EVERY DAY, you can’t get in on this action unless you sign up for a heads up. Do that here.

While you’re drowning your sorrow in refreshing adult beverages for missing out on the She-Ra 1/6 Scale Figure, here are a few out now/up and coming horror/sci-fi/fantasy movies that may or may not sell or sell out… 

THE DEMON HUNTER’S ROMANCE / Out now (iQIYI)

“In the prosperous city of Guangping, humans and demons coexist. Demons are skilled at disguising themselves as humans. Ban Xia the daughter of a wealthy family, has a pair of strange eyes and can often see the shadows of those who are not there. Ban Xia reveals her cousin’s sister-in-law is a demon, which led her to be hunted down by demon-hunter, Xuan Ye. The gentle kiss he gives to Ban Xia made her thoroughly see the world where humans and demons coexist.”

Nobody likes a snitch.

LOCKDOWN TOWER / February 8, 2023 (France), 2023/2024 (US)

“The inhabitants of a tower block wake up one morning to find a black veil shrouding all the windows and doors of the building — a veil which devours anything and anyone who tries to go through it. Stuck inside together families organize themselves, but time passes and nothing changes. They gradually return to their most primitive instincts and now respond to a single watchword: survival.”

Did they film a movie about my apartment building without me knowing it?

THEY WAIT IN THE DARK / February 10, 2023 (VOD)

“Amy, a young woman is on the run with her young son Adrian from her abusive ex-girlfriend. When the past rises up to haunt them, they must confront the forces threatening them from both outside and in.”

Another bland movie with a bland plot and bland description. None of what they’re describing compels one to invest valuable couch time to watch it. They can keep waiting in the dark.

THORNS / Release pending 2023 (VOD)

“An ex-priest working for NASA is sent to investigate a remote observatory that went silent after receiving a radio signal from deep space. Upon arrival, he discovers the signal has set in motion the biblical end of times. The former priest must now summon his lost faith to stop the signal from spreading hell on Earth.”

Jesus on his ham radio again, punking the godless Universe.

Marvel-ous Apes, Blasphemous Kids, Murder Clowns

Posted in Classic Horror, demons, Evil, Foreign Horror, paranormal with tags , , , , , , , , on December 19, 2022 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Planet of the Apes comic books have been around since the science fiction-y “gorilla-my-dreams” rom-com premiered back in 1968, the best of the batch coming from Marvel Comics Group™. Travel through the Hasslein Time Curve to this moment in time: Marvel™ announced they’ve reacquired the comics license to Planet of the Apes and will release the new comics in 2023. And these won’t be rehashes, but all new stories. If that doesn’t put a thrill in your banana hammock, then quite honetly, all is lost.

From Marvel™: “We’re thrilled to welcome Planet of the Apes back to the House of Ideas!” says Editor-in-Chief C.B. Cebulski. “The new saga in the pipeline is going explore the limits of what this beloved franchise has to offer through bold comics storytelling, and we look forward to setting foot on this new adventure!”

While you can’t wait to get your stinking paws on the first issue, here are a few out now/upcoming horror movies that may or may not have humans that can talk in ’em… 

SAVING GRACE / Out now (VOD)

“When Sarah becomes a remote carer to escape her violent city past, she discovers your demons can follow, turning tranquility into a terrifying nightmare.”

Yeah, that’s who I’d want to be my caregiver — someone with a violent past. On second thought…

DON’T DELIVER US FROM EVIL / January 10, 2023 (DVD)

“Two young convent girls become friends and decide to spend the summer together. However, their innocent bicycle rides and walks in the country soon develop a much more sinister side. Influenced by their reading of forbidden books, they decide to explore the world of perversion and cruelty. They find a victim and use their innocent appearance to seduce and destroy him. Once they have stepped over the line, they find it impossible to stop. And soon they are contemplating the ultimate evil act.”

This French horror “la flick” came out in 1971 and was hugely controversial and banned for blasphemy. Sounds like my junior high school rap sheet. Consequently, Don’t Deliver Us From Evil was never released in the States, where that kind of behavior is not only commonplace, but encouraged. To that end, you can now get it fully restored with extras wherever blasphemous DVDs are sold.

THERE’S SOMETHING WRONG WITH THE CHILDREN / January 17, 2023 (VOD)

“Margaret and Ben take a weekend trip with two longtime friends and their two young children. Ben soon suspects something sinister is afoot when the kids start behaving strangely after disappearing into the woods overnight.”

Kids ALWAYS behave strangely. That’s what they do. They just went in the woods to practice.

HOUSE OF CLOWNS / Out now (VOD)

“A traveling haunted house attraction becomes a nightmarish prison of murder for contestants who agree to participate in a contest to be locked inside overnight.”

What do I get if I win? Hope it’s unlimited free admission to come back as many times as I want.

The Artistry of Horror, Dracula’s Cousin, Ghost Sex

Posted in Aliens, Classic Horror, demons, Evil, Ghosts, paranormal, Science Fiction, Slashers, Vampires with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on November 21, 2022 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

People imbued with the power of being able to read, and specifically this blog, know I’m a huge fan of horror movie poster art and the infinity more talented than me artists who design them. While many horror movie ad sheets are created in Photoshop (I learned PS in order to put my head on Chippendale™ dancer’s bodies), the best ones are hand-illustrated and often better than the movies themselves.

Here’s a select batch of some truly dazzling and ingenious takes on horror/sci-fi movies and links (click the artist names) to view some amazing portfolios. The Nope poster above was illustrated by Gilbert Posters (no relation, but that doesn’t stop me from implying credit during Happy Hour gatherings). The art for Smile was done by the insanely talented Nuno Sarnadas (who also did the posters for Prey and Aliens below).

Keith Goulette designed the wicked Black Phone art and you can find him swimming happily among a sea of other talented designers one redbubble.com. (Click his name to explore a whole new world of visual horror). Jack Gregory did the jaw-dropping Evil Dead art, as well as the freakishly beautiful art for Dawn of the Dead and Halloween Ends (click to see his portfolio). The It poster, which should’ve been used by the movie studio, was designed by Jorge Teles, who also did numerous takes on Batman.

While we’re not worthy and should throw away our design tools (for me it’s crayons, felt pen laundry markers, Etch A Sketch™), here are a few out now/upcoming horror movies that may or may not need new cover art done with laundry markers…

THE CURSE OF DRACULA / Out now (VOD/DVD)

“Two small-time crooks scam tourists by organizing a guided tour of a creepy manor house rumored to be haunted by the cousin of Count Dracula. Their first group consist of a Swedish Satanist, two French Goths and a Russian porn director. But the tour descends into bloody chaos when they are confronted by a mysterious phantom wielding a circular saw.”

Dracula has a cousin? The Swedish are Satanists? The French are Goths? Russians are into porn? What kind of world did I just wake up in? Guess I’ll have to start hanging out with normal people, like that ghost guy with the gasoline-powered power tool. He seems cool.

AMITYVILLE THANKSGIVING / Out now (VOD)

“Jackie and Danny’s marriage has taken a turn for the worst. They turn to what they believe to be their only option, Amityville Couples Counselor Frank Domonico, a doctor with a hidden, sinister past, who recommends an isolated cabin retreat. Little do they know that the doctor plans to end their sessions, as well as their lives, with a devilish Thanksgiving dinner — and them as the main course!

So they’re gonna eat the unhappy, fighting married couple. Bet they’ll taste bitter. Heh. They can be washed down with Annulment Ale, though. That should make everyone very…hoppy.

PARASENSE: THE NAKED EXPERIMENTS / Out now (VOD)

Paranormal veteran, Ross Allison, focuses his attention on the physical aspects of being touched by a ghost. His struggle to prove these phenomena takes a crucial turn when a real scientist and inventor, Chad Goodwin, joins his team as they take naked subjects into the most haunted sites known for supernatural physical contact.”

The best part about having intimate relations with a poltergeist is you can ghost ’em afterward. 

EXORCIST BLOODLINE / Out now (VOD)

“After moving back into her childhood home, a young woman is possessed by a depraved evil spirit masquerading as her dead mother and must battle to save her mind, body and soul.”

For some of us, it’d be hard to differentiate between a depraved evil spirit and a deceased mom. Not me, though. My mom rocks. (Had to say that, as she reads this blog, and I don’t want to be sent to my room…YET AGAIN.)

Heavy Metal Horror, Bigfoot Booby Trap, Satanic Diapers

Posted in Asian Horror, Bigfoot, Classic Horror, demons, Evil, Fantasy, Foreign Horror, Ghosts, Misc. Horror, Nature Gone Wild with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on November 9, 2022 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

What happens when you mix (or “combine”) comic books with horror and heavy metal? A reason to read, that’s what. This is what we’re getting with Black Tape, a new original horror mystery comic series from AWA Studios, telling the “fictional story of miscreant and rock idol, Jack King.” Um, fictional? I thought all rock stars were miscreants. In fact, there is/was a metal band called Miscreant. (Their 1996 album Inside The Beyond could easily be turned into a comic type book.)

From AWA Studios’ press release: “When Jack King dies suddenly at the height of his musical reign and his cause of death comes with neither rhyme or reason, subsequent events paint a picture of a singing superstar caught in a web of lies, addiction, and even the unholy powers of the occult.”

Art imitates life. Written by award-winning comic creator Dan Panosian (Iron Man, Wolverine) and illustrated by renowned international artist Dalibor Talajiæ (Deadpool, Logan), the four-issue Black Tape is situated in 1960s Los Angeles. (I thought ‘60s bands were either jingle writers for hot dog commercials or beatniks. Or both.) 

While we contemplate turning off the TV and reading a comic book (tough choice), here are few upcoming horror movies that may or may not make you bang your head to the hummable, rhythmic nature of heavy metal, or against a concrete retaining wall (same results)…

THE BIGFOOT TRAP / September 1, 2023 (VOD)

“A journalist’s life is changed forever when he’s locked inside a Bigfoot trap by an insane Sasquatch hunter.”

Bigfoot laughs derisively at the irony.

LEAVE / October 28, 2022 (Norway), Release pending 2023/2024 (US)

“A young woman tries to find her origins after having been abandoned as an infant at a cemetery wrapped in a cloth with satanic symbols. But as she gets closer to answers, a malevolent spirit is telling her to leave.”

Looked everywhere but couldn’t find said Pampers™ with pentagrams on ‘em. I did, though, come across a knock-off brand sporting upside down cross skid marks on both the inside AND outside. A malevolent spirit warned me not to buy ‘em, but I was unable to resist temptation. Evil — thy name is clearance sale.

OX-HEAD VILLAGE / Release pending 2022/2023 (VOD)

“After broadcasting a prank about a haunted building on their social media, three girls disappear. Rumors surface that they were victims of The Ox-Head Village Curse, triggering an investigation by two of their friends, desperate to find the truth about what happened.”

Three down, several hundred million to go.

MASTEMAH / June 29, 2022 (France) TBD 2022/2023 (US)

“After a traumatic accident during a hypnosis seance, Louise, a young psychiatric, opens a new office in the middle of nowhere. When she starts analyzing Theo, a dark and mysterious man, people around her start to die. Could she be confronted by the Devil himself?”

Had to look up this one: “Mastema, a personification of the Hebrew word mastemah, is an angel who appears in the Book of Jubilees, and is the father of all evil. He carries out punishments for God, as well as tempting humans and testing their faith.”

In the Book of JuJubes, however, Mastema tempts humans with colorful, gummy candy drops, testing not only their faith, but the sweet tooth as well. As if it needs to be said, those things are wickedly irresistible — and I wouldst like to live deliciously.

Kaiju Banners, Plagued Writers, Violent Violinist

Posted in Bigfoot, Evil, Ghosts, Giant Monsters, Godzilla, Nature Gone Wild, Science Fiction, Werewolves with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on May 15, 2019 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Godzilla: King of the Monsters

Continuing to geek out on the onslaught of Godzilla: King of the Monsters marketing, this time a series of banner posters, giving us an up close and personal look at the kaiju battle royale heading our way on May 31, 2019. Note: Rodan looks like my neighbor’s crack-addicted parrot.

In case you need a distraction from all this dizzying giant monster promo, here are a few upcoming horror movies that may or may not be as entertaining as a crack-addicted parrot…

Alone

ALONE (2019)
“A writer seeking peace and solitude in the countryside in an attempt to recover from tragedy and finish her book. However, as the welcoming country house turns into a living hell, she soon realizes that her inner demons are not the worst of her problems.”

So is she being plagued by ghosts? Werewolves? Bigfoot? Raccoons? Oh, I know — an overused plot device!

The Sonata

THE SONATA (2019)
“Set in London and France, The Sonata centers on young virtuoso violinist. After the death of her estranged but famous composer father, Rose inherits the old mansion in which he lived. There, she discovers her father’s final work: a mysterious music score marked with strange symbols. With the help of Charles, her agent and manager, she deciphers the symbols and, little by little, starts to unlock secrets concerning her father’s past, setting in motion the mechanisms of a plan imagined on the day she was born.”

Spoiler: the deciphered symbols translate to: “Put the ukulele down, you hippie, and get a real job.”

Worms, Slasher Santa, Whispering Dead

Posted in Classic Horror, Evil, Fantasy, Foreign Horror, Ghosts, Giant Monsters, Nature Gone Wild, Science Fiction, Slashers, Zombies with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 21, 2018 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

The Walking Dead

If you watched the mid-season finale of The Walking Dead last November, you got to see YET ANOTHER main character die, and were introduced to The Whisperers, YET ANOTHER group of enemies of the still-living. No spoilers, but hot dang, that last scene was right up there with some of TWD’s best “holy sh*t!” moments.

The Walking Dead

Here’s an excerpt from the press release that tells us what’s in store when the show resumes on Sunday, February 10, 2019 on AMC

“The group’s rules and ways of survival no longer guarantee their safety. A whole new threat has crossed their paths, and they soon discover it’s unlike any threat they have encountered or endured before. The group will start to question what they think they see. What may appear to be normal in this post-apocalyptic world could actually be more disturbing and terrifying than when the apocalypse first broke out. All that is certain is the stakes are high and numerous.”

The Walking Dead

A bit generic, but if you’ve read the graphic novels, you kinda already know what holy sh*t is coming down the pipe. Until then, here are a few upcoming horror/sci-fi movies that may or may not scare the holy sh*t outta you…

Mojin: The Worm Valley

MOJIN: THE WORM VALLEY (January 4, 2019)
“Following in the footsteps of blockbuster Mojin: The Lost Legend and based on the bestselling novel series, Mojin: The Worm Valley once again finds legendary tomb explorer Hu Bayi on a dangerous mission as he seeks out the Tomb of Emperor Xian, located on an island of monstrous creatures in this mystical action-adventure.”

A valley of worms and an island of monstrous creatures? Spring break!

Dial Code Santa Claus

DIAL CODE SANTA CLAUS (now showing)
Thomas, a resourceful child, is left alone with his fragile grandfather on Christmas Eve. When a killer dressed as Santa Claus breaks into their home, Thomas does whatever it takes to defend his home and grandfather.”

This originally came out back in 1989 in its native country of France, or a place that sounds like France. It made its way here over the border wall as a bootlegged VHS. But now Dial Code Santa Claus getting a proper release and is making the film house circuit as we e-speak. Hopefully, it’ll be available on DVD — but France is gonna have to pay for it.

Doom Room

DOOM ROOM (January 15, 2019)
“A woman wakes up locked in a small room with no memory of how she arrived there. Unable to escape, and tormented by a series of paranormal entities, she must uncover the riddle of who she is and how she got here.”

YET ANOTHER spin on the Cube/Saw scenario. It also describes the night after drinking in The Tug Tavern.

The Hole In The Ground

THE HOLE IN THE GROUND (2019)
“Trying to escape her broken past, Sarah O’Neill is building a new life on the fringes of a backwood rural town with her young son, Chris. A terrifying encounter with a mysterious neighbor shatters her fragile security, throwing Sarah into a spiraling nightmare of paranoia and mistrust, as she tries to uncover if the disturbing changes in her little boy are connected to an ominous sinkhole buried deep in the forest that borders their home.”

I bet Thomas Crapper, the guy who invented the toilet, was inspired by sinkholes. He should’ve called it the “Stinkhole,” though. Heh.

50 Years of Apes

Posted in Classic Horror, Nature Gone Wild, Science Fiction with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on March 27, 2018 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Planet of the Apes

March 27, 1968 was when the world changed for the better. That’s when talking monkeys ruled the Earth and it became a sort of “planet of the apes. ” (Nowadays, the world is run by a bunch of braying jackasses.)

Planet of the Apes

Planet of the Apes, one of sci-fi’s all time greatest movies, was released on this day 50 years ago. And after spawning a veritable Ape City of movies, remakes, a TV series, cartoons, games, books, toys and bubblegum cards whose included hard and sharp card-shaped gum would cut your gums like you were chewing on a razor, still remains king of the jungle.

Planet of the Apes

The original Planet of the Apes movie, kinda sorta based on La Planète des Singes, a 1963 the short novel  by French quill-slinger Pierre Boulle, was adapted to the big screen by none other than Twilight Zone’s Rod Serling and Bridge Over River Kwai’s (1957) Michael Wilson. Taking the book’s premise that evolved apes were the dominant species over man, they ran with the concept and took it straight to the box office hoop, and came up with arguably the best shock-twist movie endings ever in the history of ever. (If you haven’t seen it, you might wanna do that now, then go put your pants in the washer.)

Planet of the Apes

So what have we learned from Planet of the Apes over the last five decades? First, mankind is still a collective a**hole. And Zira, the female doctor chimp, is kind of a floozy, her romantic tastes crossing species like swinging from a vine. Then you have Dr. Zaius, a hard-right Republican, who tried to suppress and delete the existence of illegal aliens. Cornelius, Zira’s husband and archaeologist, was, and shall always be, a lovable wuss. And let’s not forget General Ursus, a war-maddened gorilla who lives in infamy for his Jiffy Pop™ shaped helmet and stirring war cry, “The only good human is a dead human!” Hardcore, but direct to the point.

Planet of the Apes

So happy birthday, Planet of the Apes. You made this world a better Forbidden Zone.

Bigfoot Clothes, Parisian Zombies, Regrettable Face Tattoos

Posted in Bigfoot, Evil, Fantasy, Foreign Horror, Science Fiction, Zombies with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on March 8, 2018 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Hide And Seek Champion

Been looking for a another Bigfoot T-shirt to add to my growing wardrobe of mythological creature-wear. Found this one: a silhouette of Bigfoot and the proclamation: Hide and Seek Champion. Sheer genius. So much so, it now replaces my Slenderman shirt, which failed to live up to its name. (Didn’t make me look slender at all.)

Slenderman

While I continue in my bid to become a cryptid fashionista, here are a few upcoming horror/sci-fi movies that may or may not go with anything in your drawers…

The Night Eats The World

THE NIGHT EATS THE WORLD (March 7, 2018 (France) 2018/2019 (US)
“After waking up in an apartment where only the night before a party was raging, Sam is forced to come to grips with reality: he is now alone and the living dead have invaded the streets of Paris. Petrified with fear, Sam is going to have to barricade himself inside the building and organize his survival. But is he really the sole survivor?”

It’s like they’re not even trying to come up with a plot. So stock is this zombie movie premise, I bet Sam goes back into the building to get caught up on sleep.

Lowlife

LOWLIFE (April 6, 2018)
“Set amidst the seedy underbelly of Los Angeles, Lowlife zigzags back and forth in time as it charts how fate — and a ruthless crime boss — connects three down-and-out reprobates mixed up in an organ harvesting scheme that goes from bad to worse to off-the-rails insane. Careening from savagely funny to just plain savage to unexpectedly heartfelt, this audacious thriller serves up nonstop adrenaline alongside hard-hitting commentary about the state of contemporary America.”

It’s not in the press release, but Lowlife stars a fallen Mexican wrestler with rage issues and a “regrettable face tattoo.” That’d be a great name for a band.

The Field Guide To Evil

THE FIELD GUIDE TO EVIL (2018)
“They are known as myths, lore, and folk tales. Created to give logic to mankind’s darkest fears, these stories laid the foundation for what we now know as the horror genre.”

For some of us, The Field Guide to Evil is merely walking into The Tug Tavern. You WILL encounter your darkest fear just inside the bathroom door.

Tell Me Your NameTELL ME YOUR NAME (2018/2019)
“After a troubled childhood, Ashley searches for a connection, and unknowingly invites in a demonic force, which leaves her loved ones fighting for her soul.”

I’ve always wondered why demonic forces want your soul. It’s not like they’re collectibles to put on a shelf next to the jars of grape-flavored eyeballs and still-beating hearts in maraschino juice. That, and most souls are not quite mint-in-box. Like mine, for instance.

Zombie Cartoons, Undead Dinosaurs, All Purpose Evil

Posted in Asian Horror, Asian Sci-Fi, Evil, Foreign Horror, Ghosts, Nature Gone Wild, Science Fiction, Zombies with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on February 24, 2018 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Michael and Jason

From artist Joe Gallimore comes a wicked cool mash-up with Michael Myers from Halloween (1978) and the infamous Friday the 13th VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan (1989) key art, which was actually banned back in the day by the New York City Tourism committee. (All Republicans, no doubt.)

While we still wait for the New York City Tourism committee to pull their heads out of their Port Authority, here are a few just released/upcoming horror/sci-fi movies that may or may not get banned…

Zombiology

ZOMBIOLOGY (available now)
“When a monster from a popular animated show appears and starts a zombie outbreak, it’s up to eccentric duo Lung and Chi-Yeung to stand up and fight the horde of the recently deceased, and save their friends from all around chaos!”

I wish more cartoon characters would come to life and cause chaos. Just think of what Scooby Doo could do to/on your lawn.

The Incantation

THE INCANTATION (available now)
“A young American girl has a chance of a lifetime to visit her ancestors castle in the south of France, only to find that her family is hiding deep, dark secrets about their nefarious past, far away from prying eyes.”

YET ANOTHER family with deep, dark secrets. Got me thinking about my own family and what secrets THEY might be hiding. Time to kick down the door of the ‘ol ancestral outhouse and see if there’s a nefarious stuff laying around.

The Jurassic Dead

THE JURASSIC DEAD (Summer, 2018)
“A unit of mercenaries must team up with a group of tech-geek students after American is struck with an EMP attack. Deep in the desert, they find the source of the terror, a mad scientist who has also just created a living dead T-Rex dinosaur, one who turns everyone it attacks into a zombie. Now they must scramble to stay alive and save the planet from the ultimate undead predator.”

Hate to whiz in your punchbowl, but there was a zombie dinosaur movie before this: Z-Rex: The Jurassic Dead (2016). Maybe they know each other or are cousins on their mother’s side. Or it could be a simple case of plagiarism. Best to consult the family paleontologist.

Tormented

TORMENTED (2018)
“A tragic car accident leads a family into a nightmare of supernatural terror as an ancient evil haunts their dreams.”

Supernatural terror and ancient evil go hand in hand, like peanut butter and Cheetos™. What, you’ve never tried peanut butter on Cheetos™? Like supernatural terror and ancient evil, they’re to die for.

Icy Horror, Chilling Ghosts, Cold Demons

Posted in Aliens, Evil, Foreign Horror, Ghosts with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on July 14, 2017 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Want a real life/real time horror story? A Yahoo!.com science article published on Thursday, July 13, 2017 stated that unchecked climate change will eventually lead to widespread devastation on Earth. To that I say, YEESH! intentionally in all caps.

The jolting article, written by Business Insider’s Kevin Loria, goes on to say, “Rising seas will inundate coastal cities like Miami, searing heat will increase human mortality, and acidic oceans will become inhospitable to fish and coral, leaving behind little but rubbery masses of jellyfish. These consequences of human activity could be the thing that prevents our civilization from advancing much further. In a particularly extreme scenario, it could even wind up wiping us from the face of the Earth.” (They had me at “rubbery masses of jellyfish.”)

This information is timely given that a trillion ton glacier chunk the size of Delaware recently broke off the Antarctica ice shelf (it’s like a cupboard for frozen water), an event horizon that portends mega doom for at least more than a few Emperor penguins and/or whale-eating polar bears. And all this time I presumed aliens would zap our sorry asses, suck up all the valuables (gas, alcohol, bit coins, frozen burritos) and head back to Mars for a kick ass party.

Geostorm

Earth-ending weather-gone-wild horror movies are nothing new (the most recent upcoming  being Geostorm/2017), but to have it all come to real life is a whole different box office.

Speaking of, here are a few upcoming horror/sci-fi movies we may or may not get to see once that huge iceberg smashes into our neighborhoods and precious 7-Elevens™. But hey, at the very least, beer will be the coldest it’s ever been!

Planetarium

PLANETARIUM (August 11, 2017/New York — August 18, 2017/Los Angeles)
“In 1930s France, two sisters who are thought to be able to communicate with ghosts meet a visionary producer while performing in Paris.”

Interesting fun fact: All French people can communicate with ghosts, or “des fantômes.” And yes, it has everything to do with drinking a quart of wine per meal.

Ghost House

GHOST HOUSE (August 25, 2017)
A young couple, Jim and Julie, are vacationing in Thailand where Julie falls in love with photographing small shrines called ‘Ghost Houses’ that are believed to give spirits shelter and comfort. A couple of British travelers take them into the countryside with the promise of showing Jim and Julie a ghost house graveyard where many of the shrines are discarded. After leaving the graveyard with a souvenir, Julie is increasingly plagued by visits from a malevolent spirit that threatens both her sanity and her life. After Julie is literally frozen in a state of terror, Jim must find a way to lift the curse before he loses Julie to the ghost world forever.”

Yeah, you don’t wanna shoplift in graveyards. First, said item(s) are always gonna be marinated in evil. Secondly, you don’t want stealing from the dead on your record. As for the Ghost Houses, rent is oddly steep for those things. I looked ‘em up on Zillow.com. You can see pics of inside these houses and it looks like someone lives there — but you never actually see people in the photos. Sounds like ghosts to me.

Exorcism of the Dead

EXORCISM OF THE DEAD (2017/2018)
“Candace, a deeply troubled young woman, is possessed by an ambitious demon. Her family has tried every conventional method to heal her, but both medicine and psychology have failed. As a last resort, they reach out for aid from the church, unaware the priest who arrives to deal with the situation has his own dark secrets.”

This premise has been done and overdone more times than I’ve been exorcised (47 and counting. Note to stupid preachers — not possessed, just drunk-ish.) But I take my collar off for the demon’s sticktoitiveness work ethic.