Archive for the Asian Horror Category

Wonderful Woman, Unpronounceable Ghost, Reverse-Santa

Posted in Asian Horror, Evil, Foreign Horror, Ghosts, Giant Monsters, Nature Gone Wild, Science Fiction, Vampires, Zombies with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on October 22, 2018 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Wonder Woman 1984

Found this magnificent and suitable for holding up with one hand fan art of Wonder Woman 1984, her new movie which punches theaters right in the screen June 5, 2020. The illustration, done by the insanity talented Juan Carlos Ruiz Burgos, is just what we need to help pass the time until Wonder Woman enriches our lives once again.

Wonder Woman 1984

Not that you need it, but here’s the bare bones plot of WW84: “Wonder Woman squares off against the Cheetah, a villainess who possesses superhuman strength and agility.”

Wonder Woman

They had me at Wonder Woman. So while we impatiently count down the excruciating long days until the movie premiers, here are a few now available/upcoming horror/sci-fi movies that may or may not punch you in the screen…

Monstrum

MONSTRUM (available now)
Yoon Gyeom is a loyal subject of King Jung Jong of Joseon. He struggles to fight against a monster that threatens King Jung Jong’s life and a group of people trying to depose him.”

The movie’s key art brings me to the brink of soiling my britches. That giant monster seriously goons me out, and I don’t know. Maybe it’s because the Monstrum isn’t looking at Yoon, but rather in my general direction. I need a box of moist towelettes.

Kuntilanak

KUNTILANAK (available now)
“A group of kids agree to explore an abandoned house in order to win a reality show contest, which requires them to prove that the stories of the evil Kuntilanak are real. They soon discover that the ghost is very much real when it appears from an old mirror and starts haunting them.”

Be VERY CAREFUL of how you pronounce this movie title using your outdoor voice.

An Accidental Zombie (Named Ted)

AN ACCIDENTAL ZOMBIE (NAMED TED) (available now)
Ted knows he’s not a zombie. He just picked up a ‘skin thing’ on his vacay in The Caribbean. But his hilariously kooky family is not convinced, especially after he brings home a hot vampire he met in group therapy.”

Picked up a “skin thing”. Happens more often than not when you hang out in bowling alley bars. That’s where you’ll find hot vampires as well. (You can tell by they’re vampires just by their shoes and, possibly, bowling scores.)

Krampus: Origins

KRAMPUS ORIGINS (November 6, 2018)
“The first World War rages on when a group of American soldiers find a mysterious artifact that can summon the ancient evil of the Krampus. After the men are killed in action, the artifact is sent to the commanding officers widow who is a teacher at a small-town orphanage. The orphans accidentally summon the Krampus and the teacher, and her pupils are forced to battle this ancient evil.”

The Reverse-Santa returns to make unhappiness happen. Not to worried for the orphans, though; they’ve been living the life of ease, what with three hots and a cot. About time they earn their keep. And ancient evil can usually be dealt with just by jiggling the handle.

Hell vs. Heaven vs. Hell

Posted in Asian Horror, Evil, Fantasy, Foreign Horror, Ghosts with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on October 21, 2018 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

The Restless

YI Kwak, a 924 AD demon hunter in the royal demon-hunting squad of Chuh-yong-dae, just lost Yon-hwa, his steady arm candy/fiancée to evil demons. Beats having her dump you and then doing it with one of your friends.

The Restless

YI Kwak, whose name sounds like the noise a dyslexic demon-hunting duck would make, is freakin’ p*ssed. This spells bad news for demons, evil or not, as YI Kwak has the ability to see the dead, whereas his contemporaries do not. This makes him not only a valuable addition to the warrior squad, but carries a semblance of job security.

The Restless

YI Kwak and his squad are making headway against the forces of darkness, which at times look like guys in futon sheets. Regardless of thread count, they are STILL EVIL. Still not satisfied, YI Kwak somehow ends up in Joongcheon (or “Midheaven”), the Land of the Dead, while investigating a shrine with no noticeable bathrooms. Joongcheon is that waiting room between Hell and Heaven and Hell (or, in today’s vernacular, between your job and Happy Hour). This is where souls have to wait 49 days before they can be reincarnated. I don’t know why, those are the rules.

The Restless

Guess who YI Kwak runs into? Guess who has no previous memory? Guess how long he has to wait until he gets second base privileges again? YI Kwak also bumps into his former teacher Ban-chu (what is it with these people and their messed up names?), who is about to lead a rebellious coup on behalf of the demons and a plan to get out of Midheaven and into Outerheavern, where they will cause much grief and the knocking over of stuff.

The Restless

The Restless (2006) is a lush, stylized fantasy with no blood spilling worth blogging about. While I’d rather look into the glowing red eyes of evil than have to endure any more of YI Kwak and Yon-hwa gazing longingly into each others’ eyes, this ain’t a half bad time waster.

Tattooed Superhero, Pentagon Aliens, Eating Planets

Posted in Aliens, Asian Horror, Asian Sci-Fi, Classic Horror, Evil, Foreign Horror, Ghosts, Giant Monsters, Godzilla, Nature Gone Wild, Science Fiction, Sharks, UFOs, Zombies with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on October 12, 2018 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Batgirl

Going batty over the first released pic of Ruby Rose as the new Batgirl. Before she launches her own series, CW is gonna have her do pop-ups in The Flash, Supergirl and Arrow. (It’ll be called Elseworlds. Batman is gonna be so jealous.)

Ruby Rose

Ruby Rose, if you didn’t hear, is being touted as the first gay female superhero in the lead role. While CW already has several high-profile gay/lesbian characters in their superhero shows, this is further great news. And the stunningly attractive and badass Ruby — former Australian model, actress, and television presenter who is literally painted in tattoos — is an awesome casting choice. (You saw her in The Meg, yes? The shark wisely chose to swim in the opposite direction of her.)

Ruby Rose

While we wait impatiently for Ruby to turn criminals into prison fertilizer, here are a few just released/upcoming horror/sci-fi flicks that may or may not be as cool as the new Batgirl

Aliens At The Pentagon

ALIENS AT THE PENTAGON (available now)
“For years the US government denied investigating UFOs. But when an ultra-secret Pentagon program to study the Alien threat was exposed in late 2017, the world was stunned by this revelation. Nick Pope, aka ‘The Real Fox Mulder’, investigated UFOs and other unexplained phenomena for the British government. Now Nick exposes the secretive workings of the Pentagon’s real-life X-Files unit, using his knowledge and past experience to tell the incredible story as only a true government insider can.”

If you’re a fan of UFO documentaries like, um, me, then you’ll no doubt want to rent this one. But don’t buy it if you’re planning on being abducted by aliens in the near future. I’m still waiting.

Haunted

HAUNTED (October 19, 2018/Netflix™)
Netflix’s™ Haunted gives a chilling glimpse into the first-person accounts from people who have witnessed horrifying, peculiar, extraordinary supernatural events and other unexplained phenomena that continue to haunt them.”

The only horrifying event I’ve ever witnessed is the bar I’m in closing at 2AM. I’m getting the shakes just thinking about it. Then again, maybe it’s all that beer that’s giving me the trembles.

Godzilla: The Planet Eater

GODZILLA: THE PLANET EATER (November 9, 2018/Japan | Netflix™ 2019)
“Last year, Toho and Polygon kicked off an animated trilogy with Godzilla: Planet of the Monsters, which continued this year with Godzilla: City on the Edge of Battle (now on Netflix™). The trilogy ends with Godzilla: The Planet Eater.”

Awesome title. And it suits Godzilla Earth perfectly as he can be seen in the previous two animated features biting into mountains as if they were Hostess Cupcakes™. So if he eats a planet for dinner, what might be a good side dish — a jungle salad, perhaps?

Pet Sematary

PET SEMATARY (April 5, 2019)
“Based on the seminal horror novel by Stephen King, Pet Sematary follows Dr. Louis Creed, who, after relocating with his wife Rachel and their two young children from Boston to rural Maine, discovers a mysterious burial ground hidden deep in the woods near the family’s new home. When tragedy strikes, Louis turns to his unusual neighbor, Jud Crandall, setting off a perilous chain reaction that unleashes an unfathomable evil with horrific consequences.”

If you saw the original adaptation (1989), it was pretty dang excellent, even if it was a spin on the Monkey’s Paw back-from-the-dead gut-punch. I don’t care as the trailer for the new one looks to continue the thrills, chills and doctor bills.

Historical Zombies, Future Mutants, Ultimate Bully Solution

Posted in Asian Horror, Classic Horror, Evil, Foreign Horror, Nature Gone Wild, Science Fiction, Zombies with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on September 6, 2018 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

The Walking Dead

Someone, I don’t know who, has released the key art for AMC’s The Walking Dead Season 9 premier for October 7. This is bittersweet as it’s widely reported that it’s the last season for lead TWD star Andrew Lincoln (aka, Rick Grimes). The zombies couldn’t take him down, so it looks like after all these flesh-chomping years, boredom has.

The Walking Dead

From the press release: “Show-runner Angela Kang recently spoke about the season’s time jump. ‘We’ll explore what happened as man made objects and structures break down. Infrastructure like roads and bridges are changing and crumbling. And we’ll also explore what happens as resources are getting low. There’s a fun Western vibe that has emerged. We are going into a period where a lot of the things that we’ve seen in previous seasons have broken down, so they’ve got these horses and carriages that are being drawn around instead of cars. Things are lit with oil lamps. People are using different kinds of weaponry. There’s a real grittiness to it that I think will be fun and fresh for the viewers.’”

The Walking Dead

Yeah, but what about the zombies? As a “day one” fan, I’ve seen how the walking dead have been relegated to being rotting frosting on a overstuffed cake with increasingly too many ingredients. And by ingredients, I mean too many characters and internal story lines. But I’ll still watch Season 9 to see how Rick, back to wearing his Sheriff hat that his now dead son Carl wore for several seasons, hangs it up.

The Walking Dead

While we all theorize with furrowed brow, here are a few upcoming horror/sci-fi movies that you may or may not want to hang your hat on…

Sleep No More

SLEEP NO MORE (October 2, 2018)
“Five graduate students are conducting a study to prove the theory that once you’ve passed 200 hours without sleep, you will never need sleep again. As the hours tick by and their struggle to stay awake intensifies, they each start to have strange and unsettling experiences. Visions from the past, violent impulses and terrifying waking nightmares begin to take hold and turn this experiment into a desperate fight for survival.”

I could see why someone would stay awake for almost nine days when there’s so much good stuff on TV to binge watch. Then again, it’s really hard to resist the siren call of the couch ‘n blankie. For me, practically impossible.

Rampant

RAMPANT (October/2018)
Yi Chung fights against ‘Night Demons’ to save the Joseon Nation. Yi Chung is the son of the king, and the greatest martial artist in the world. Although he is given to the Qing Empire as a political hostage, he returns home when his brother, the Crown Prince Yi Young, calls him back after many years. And it’s because of the nightmarish monsters plaguing the country that Yi Chung is tasked to destroy.”

This one is said to be a South Korean “historical action zombie” movie and is already getting gleeful comparisons to the hit South Korean zombie movie, Train To Busan (2016). It also means we’ll have to watch it with sub-titles. If I wanted to read, I’d buy a coloring book.

Mutant Blast

MUTANT BLAST (2018)
“A fearless soldier and TS-347 — a man with superhuman strength — are being pursued by a military cell responsible for scientific experiments that have resulted in a zombie apocalypse. On the way, they meet Pedro, a man with few ambitions and a great hangover. Together, they will try to escape to a safe place, but complications will cross their paths in the form of a nuclear bomb.”

“A man with few ambitions and a great hangover.” I should sue for copyright infringement.

The Shed

THE SHED (2018)
“When orphaned Stan finds a murderous creature of the night has taken refuge in his backyard tool shed — and killed his grandfather— he can’t go to the cops who’ll likely put him in foster care. Stan tries to battle the demon alone, while Dommer, Stan’s best friend, thinks it’s the solution to their bully problems, if only they can lure the bullies to the Shed. Sometimes monsters turn regular folks into heroes, and sometimes they just turn them into different monsters.”

Resourceful, but not the best way to clear your path of bullies. Start with a Super Soaker™ loaded with asparagus pee and watch ‘em fall like Republicans.

Meh-galodon, LOL Zombies, The Swimming Dead

Posted in Asian Horror, Asian Sci-Fi, Foreign Horror, Giant Monsters, Godzilla, Nature Gone Wild, Scream Queens, Sharks, UFOs, Zombies with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on August 25, 2018 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

The Meg

So everyone waits for months to see the giant shark movie, The Meg (2018), and in some theaters in 3D. Was it good? Yes and no. (Put the cost to see it in the “no” column.) First, the shark looked pretty realistic and quite “shark-y.” The acting/action was tight, as was the dialogue.

The Meg

So where’s the beef? The filmmakers blew several chances to have the Megalodon really chew up the scenery, if you catch my incoming tide. That whole scene where there are thousands of people on inner tubes in the water should have been a blood bath, with the Meg straining bodies through its mega-mouth like krill. In all, a fail not to show more chewing-with-your-mouth-open and blood-gushing scenes for a shark movie.

The Meg

As neato as the shark looked, the concept art made the swimming mouth look tons more britches-staining. So much so, if I was out on an inner tube drinking a beer and saw this thing in the water, I’d pollute the water. Then the water would be polluted and hopefully scare the shark away. At least, that’s what I’m betting my inner tubes on.

The Meg

So here are a few upcoming horror/sci-fi movies that may or may not get you banned from community swimming pools. (Still waiting for my appeal to be heard)…

Beyond The Sky

BEYOND THE SKY (September 21, 2018/VOD/Limited)
“A man has a powerful and traumatic connection to alien abductions since his early childhood. He sets out to disprove the alien abduction phenomenon by attending a UFO convention — but then meets someone, who claims to have been abducted every seven years on her birthday, he realizes there may be more to these claims than meets the eye.”

Too bad she wasn’t born on February 29, a leap year, so she could minimize the probing. I’m also thinkin’ that if the guy is out to disprove alien abductions, then why was he so traumatized by it? As my proctologist says, why not go for the ride?

Possum

POSSUM (2018)
“A disgraced children’s puppeteer returns to his childhood home and is forced to confront his wicked stepfather and the secrets that have tortured him his entire life.”

I bet the stepfather caught the budding entertainer working on his lucrative career with his pant puppet. And as we all know, practice makes perfect.

One Cut of the Dead

ONE CUT OF THE DEAD (2018)
“An epic, 37-minute opening single take makes Shin’ichirô Ueda’s feature debut a bright, breezy and laugh-out-loud hilarious zombie comedy. A film crew is shooting a zombie horror flick in an abandoned water filtration plant, allegedly used for human experiments by the military. Just as the director browbeats his actors and demands more special effects blood, a real zombie apocalypse erupts, much to his auteur delight. Packed with meta-movie references as mocking as they are loving, this relentless takedown of the Living Dead genre is a total blast.”

This one came out in November 4, 2017 in Japan, where Godzilla’s day job is in deconstruction (heh). It’s also been raking in a ton of giddy reviews, so when it comes to the States, I’ll have to giddyup and go rent it.

Aurora

AURORA (2018)
“The passenger ship Aurora collides into a rocky shore, destroying the livelihood of an entire island — forcing Leana, the owner of a rundown inn, to work for the victim’s families by finding the missing bodies for a bounty; risking her sister’s life and her own from the dead that will come to shore and find shelter in their home.”

Crud-a-rama — the trailer, which admittedly looks kinda spooktacular, is in sub-titles. I have a hard enough time trying to read the ingredients on a can of Budweiser™. Why can’t they just put “Contents: Beer” and just leave well enough alone? P.S. I didn’t know zombies could swim. Is there the undead can’t do?

Gigantic Giant Giants

Posted in Asian Horror, Asian Sci-Fi, Fantasy, Foreign Horror, Giant Monsters, Nature Gone Wild, Science Fiction with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on August 7, 2018 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Big Man Japan

Daisoto is a 40-year-old introverted, divorced Japanese bachelor living in a pig-pen of a house, sitting in the park and eating the same meal every day. (Yeesh — that hits a little too close to the bone.)

Big Man Japan

Daisoto, turns out, is the last of a long line of giant monster killers. When a new Costco™-sized foe threatens Japan, the Department of Defense calls Daisoto and off he goes to a nearby power plant to get electrodes hooked up to his nipples and one million volts applied thusly.

Big Man Japan

This causes him to grow into a giant with several-story tall Eraserhead/Kid ‘N Play hair wearing a pair of stunningly purple Samurai diapers and the occasional advertising sticker on his chest. His only weapon: a telephone pole-sized steel club. He needs it — the colossal creatures that arrive out of nowhere to rearrange the city’s landscape are adversarial — and some of the most freakishly unique monsters ever seen in any country with tall knock-downable buildings.

Big Man Japan

There’s the Strangling Monster, a nearly indescribable ogre with expanding cables for arms, which it uses to throw around buildings and back flips them. It also has a comb-over. Then there’s the Stink Monster, a female creature that emits the smell of 10,000 feces. It also acts as a perfume-like attractant to other monsters. The beast Daisoto doesn’t want to face, though, is The Red One, a mega-tough child-devil creature that could end the career of Big Man Japan, thereby leaving the city unprotected and chest advertisers un-advertised.

Big Man Japan

Played as deadpan humor and as a tongue-in-cheek take on Japanese giant monster movies, you gotta see these things as there’s nothing you can compare ’em to. Except YOURSELF. I kid. Oh, and the reason his neighbors hate him so much? When in giant form Daisoto causes more destruction than he stops, uses up way too much electricity, is horrendously loud, and is not the sharpest chopstick in the drawer.

Big Man JapanWatch Big Man Japan (2009) and put it in the “WTF?” category. In the next few minutes, once you’re done hooking battery cables to your chest parts. P.S. Don’t really do that.

Godzilla BFFs, Mutant Babies, Social Media Evil

Posted in Asian Horror, Asian Sci-Fi, Evil, Giant Monsters, Godzilla, Nature Gone Wild, Science Fiction with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on August 1, 2018 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Godzilla: King of the Monsters

A couple of new sales posters for the upcoming Godzilla: King of the Monsters (May 31, 2019). One doesn’t suck, one sucks, one is kinda okay. The “doesn’t suck” version, of course, depicts Godzilla choke-holdong it up in a no-holds barred street match with the clearly bigger King Ghidorah.

Godzilla: King of the Monsters

KH has three heads. Talk about multitasking; he could use one to bite Godzilla in the lunch sac, the second one to surf the Internet for kaiju porn, and the other to binge watch Game of Thrones on Netflix™. I wish I had three heads.

Godzilla: King of the Monsters

The first trailer for Godzilla: King of the Monsters is pretty badass, showing Rodan (mega huge Pterodactyl), the butterfly-esque Mothra (spokesbug for Raid™) and King G himself, who towers over the already embiggened Godzilla. 

Before you surf for kaiju porn, check out these upcoming horror/sci-fi movies that may not require three brains to understand…

Cynthia

CYNTHIA (August 31, 2018 / Limited); September 18, 2018 (VOD/DVD)
Robin and Michael are college sweethearts who have everything — a perfect marriage, adorable cat, a beautiful home. But one thing is missing from this idyllic setting — a baby. After years of fertility treatments their dreams come true when Robin finds out she is pregnant. Is this a dream come true or a nightmare come to life?

Nightmare come to life. That’s what the doctor told my mom when I was born. Maybe he directed this movie. (This remind anyone of It Lives/1978)?

I Think We're Alone Now

I THINK WE’RE ALONE NOW (September 14/2018-Theaters/September 21, 2019-VOD)
“The apocalypse proves a blessing in disguise for one lucky recluse — until a second survivor arrives with the threat of companionship.”

Leave it to someone to always impose on your personal time. There goes leaving the bathroom door open during personal moments. The apocalypse sucks.

Apostle

APOSTLE (October 12, 2018)
London, 1905. Prodigal son Thomas Richardson has returned home, only to learn that his sister is being held for ransom by a religious cult. Determined to get her back at any cost, Thomas travels to the idyllic island where the cult lives under the leadership of the charismatic Prophet Malcolm. As Thomas infiltrates the island’s community, he learns that the corruption of mainland society that they claim to reject has infested the cult’s ranks nonetheless — and uncovers a secret far more evil than he could have imagined.”

What some people call religious cults, I call ‘em the barfly regulars up at the Tug Tavern. They seem to be worshiping the bartender every time I walk in there. Heck, you could call me a cult member with a bar tab. All praise a full glass and a Lyft™ ride home.

E-Demon

E-DEMON (2018)
“On a mission to bring the Devil to Earth, an escaped demon manipulates a group of friends hanging out on a video-chat. Since this ruthless demon can possess multiple people at once, knowing who to trust is the key to survival.”

More tech-savvy stink demons. Suppose you could call them malevolent malware. And you can call E-Demons YET ANOTHER teen sci-fi social media movie. Hit the delete button.