Godzilla TV, Godzilla Happy Meal

It’s a big day for Godzilla fans. First up, Pluto TV™, a free streaming movie/tv platform, just announced a 24 hour a day Godzilla movie channel. This will lead to the inevitable downfall of all other viewing media as everybody will quit watching Netflix™, tune into the Godzilla Channel, and leave it there.

From the press release: “The King of the Monsters has made landfall on Pluto TV™! Emerging in 1954, Godzilla has become a global icon and symbol that has transcended time and pop culture. After debuting as a terror that descended upon Tokyo, Godzilla has fought numerous foes and gained new allies over nearly 70 years of mayhem. Streaming free 24/7 and with titles from across the Showa, Heisei, and Millennium eras, the Pluto TV™ lineup includes an assortment of 33 films. This includes titles not available for streaming elsewhere, such as 1989’s Godzilla vs. Biollante and 1992’s Godzilla vs. Mothra.” Tune in here.

But you gotta have snacks to binge watch all the Godzilla movies. A suggestion would be Godzilla Ramen, garnished with a real “Godzilla” leg. You’ll have to get GrubHub™ or Uber Eats™ to get it for you, as this delish dish is only available in Taiwan.

From Taipei CNN™: “A noodle shop in southern Taiwan has upped the ante by creating Godzilla Ramen, where it looks like the famous Japanese movie icon is about to crawl out of the bowl and grab you. The dish, served at Witch Cat Kwai, a restaurant in Douliu City in southern Taiwan, features crocodile meat.”

“The restaurant’s owner told CNN Travel™ that the soup is comprised of quail eggs, pork, baby corn, dried bamboo shoots, black fungus and cubes of fish paste, topped with a crocodile leg — specifically, a front one. Chien adds that due to the challenge of getting crocodile legs and the difficulty of making the dish, only two bowls of Godzilla Ramen can be served per day. He charges NTD 1,500 ($50) per bowl.” FYI: There’s a waiting list for it.

Uh, think I’ll just stick with the triple decker King Ghidorah burger with a side order of fleeing citizens.

Godzilla Party, The Relocated Dead, Evil Grandma

Calling all Gojira fans: The 6th Annual Godzilla Festival returns to Japan on November 3, 2022, celebrating the 68th anniversary of the Godzilla series. Those without bus service to Japan can breathe a non-radioactive sigh of relief — you’ll be able to “attend” G-Fest via a free-to-access online live stream. They haven’t posted the link yet, but go HERE for the eventual hook-up. As for the physical location of the festival, you can look it up on…Godzillow™ (Heh).

The press release for the event gives us the deets: “This year, Godzilla Fest will primarily celebrate the 50th anniversary of director Jun Fukuda’s Godzilla vs. Gigan, unveiling a brand new suit from modeler Shinichi Wakasa recreating the Showa-era Gigan design. Additionally, this event will also exhibit the replica Godzilla (1954) suit design as well as a Godzilla suit from 2004’s Godzilla: Final Wars.”

“Kazuhiro Nakagawa is currently directing a third tokusatsu short film featuring the newly constructed Gigan suit. Furthermore, the long-awaited sequel to Gemstone’s G vs. G short fan film will be released at Godzilla Fest 2022. A trailer for this new short, Godzilla vs. Gigan Rex, has been released on YouTube™.” (Watch it HERE)

While we’re waiting to be livestreamed on, here are a few upcoming horror movies that may or may not feature a guy in a rubber suit…

SHOT IN THE DARK / October 4, 2022 (VOD)

“Two years ago, William Langston made a mistake that would affect the course of his life. Now, with a killer loose and his circle of friends falling away one at a time, William faces his greatest fears as well as his own mortality.”

My greatest fear is sobriety.

POSSESSION / October 7, 2022 (VOD)

“A priest has been tasked with deciding the location of a new church for the local mining company, which reveals itself to be on top of an old Sami burial ground. After removing the remains, the dead come alive and haunt the settlers.”

Some background on the relocated Sami (last name not Hagar): “In the 17th century, the Sami believed each body contained two types of spirits: the ‘free soul’ moves on to the afterlife, while the ‘body soul’ stays behind.” Lemme get this straight — one half of their soul goes on to party while the other soul gets left behind on a Friday night? Harsh.

THE ACCURSED / October 14, 2022 (VOD)

“A young woman is forced to return home following the death of her mother. Consumed by guilt and desperate to escape the haunting visions playing out in her head, she takes a temporary caregiver position for a comatose old lady living alone in the woods. It does not take long before she realizes not all is as it seems and that the old lady harbors a demonic secret her daughter is intent on passing on.”

The “demonic secret” is why old ladies smell like they do, which is a cross between a hallway closet and a damp fruit cellar. 

CHURCH OF DARKNESS / November 8, 2022 (VOD/DVD)

“David, a devout Christian teen boy, moves to a new town and discovers a sinister underground society flourishing under the protection of the mayor. When he learns of their evil plans and sacrificing rituals, he knows he must try and save the citizens of the town. Alone and afraid his own faith is tested when he discovers it may be too late.”

Sinister underground society? Evil plans? Sacrifice rituals? Where is this party town and how do I join their Horror Chamber of Commerce?