Archive for slasher

Horror Trivia, Dead Dump, Ghost Boat

Posted in Classic Horror, Evil, Foreign Horror, Ghosts, Nature Gone Wild, Science Fiction with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on September 8, 2018 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Trivial Pursuit: Horror Movie Edition

As first reported by Reddit and not the fake news, USAopoly™ has released Trivial Pursuit: Horror Movie Edition™, just in time for the upcoming alt-Christian holiday All Hallow’s Eve, which is like Christmas for Planet Halloween™.

Trivial Pursuit: Horror Movie Edition

The details are as cool as the $19.99 price: 600 questions that cover 100 years of the horror genre, with topics like epic monster movies, the paranormal, slasher and goriest movies. I just soiled myself.

Trivial Pursuit: Horror Movie Edition

You can get this delivered right to your face mailbox through Amazon™ or GameStop™. Before you get to clickin’, here are a few upcoming horror/sci-fi movies that may or may not fall into one or more of Trivial Pursuit’s Horror Movie™ categories…

I'll Take Your Dead

I’LL TAKE YOUR DEAD (2018/2019)
William has a simple job: he makes dead bodies disappear. Through circumstances out of his control, his little farm house in the country has become a dumping ground for the casualties of the gang related murders in the nearby city. His daughter Gloria has become used to the rough looking men dropping off corpses and is even convinced that some of them haunt their house. After a woman’s body is dumped at the house, William begins his meticulous process when he realizes that she’s not actually dead. As the gang activity increases, William patches up the woman and holds her against her will until he can figure out what to do with her. As they begin to develop an unusual respect for each other, the woman’s murderers get word that she’s still alive and make a plan to finish what they started.”

Dumping bodies on a farm? That’s why they’re called criminals; bodies can be recycled instead of becoming rodent/bug-attracting illegal landfill. If they can figure it out in Soylent Green (1973), so can we do it today.

Alive

ALIVE (2018)
“A male patient, badly injured from an unknown event, is trying to piece together his checkered past.”

This is normally referred to as a Defcon 1 hangover. It’s a moment when you come out of your alcoholic coma to find your body looking like raw hamburger. As painful as it is, you know there’s a really great — and highly likely — funny story behind it all.

The Boat

THE BOAT (2018)
“A lone fisherman on his daily run finds himself lost in a thick fog, which proves impossible to navigate. The worst is yet to come when his encounter with a seemingly abandoned sailboat becomes a fight for survival against an enemy unknown.”

Cool — ghost boat! Guess the life preservers didn’t work after all. Wonder if this event happened on a…May day. Heh.

Brothers’ Nest

BROTHERS’ NEST (2018)
“Two brothers are intent on murdering their stepfather before their dying mother changes her will in his favor.”

That’s one way to do it. Another way would be to dress up as the mom, go to the bank, and make a hefty withdrawal. I’ve heard that works 17% of the time. I’ll take those odds.

Slaughter Skier, Hacking The Head, Religion Gone Wrong

Posted in Classic Horror, Evil, Foreign Horror, Misc. Horror, Science Fiction, Slashers with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on June 20, 2018 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Army of Darkness

If you’re like me and would rather stick a poster on a wall instead of painting over an undisclosed stain, then click your heels/mouse and head on over to Hero Complex Gallery and get ready to cover your dirty paint shame with such incredible horror/sci-fi framable art, from Army of Darkness to The Witch to Aliens, and lots more.

The Witch

Each print is a generous 24” x36” and runs about $50.00+ each. To sweeten the pot, the prints are limited to 275 and are made with metallic and fluorescent inks. It’s like sticking your face into a hippie washing machine.

Aliens

After you order all their prints [click HERE], check out these upcoming horror/sci-fi movies that you may or may not want to stick your face into…

Minutes To Midnight

MINUTES TO MIDNIGHT (July 3, 2018)
“Seven friends and a mysterious backpacker converge at a desolate ski lodge in the mountains and as the clock begins the countdown to the New Year, they discover that the end of the old year may be the end of all their years as they are systematically hunted down by ruthless masked men with a deadly agenda.”

I liked this better when it was called The Strangers (2008) You’re Next (2013), and dealer’s choice of nearly all the ‘80s slasher movies.

Mad Genius

MAD GENIUS (July 3, 2018)
Mad genius and hacker, Mason Wells has a mission to ‘hack the human mind’ in order to save humanity, but first must reconcile his multiple alter egos. His most threatening alter ego, Finn, pushes Mason to do whatever is necessary to accomplish their mission including theft, bribery and intimidation. As their mission reaches the brink of danger, they become hunted by a nihilistic madman named Eden after they steal his technology and discover that he is working on the exact same project that they are. Ultimately, Mason discovers the only way to defeat Eden may be the ultimate hack, one he never thought imaginable.”

All that trouble when all he has to do to hack the human mind is to hack open a beer and start downloadin’.

The Devil's Doorway

THE DEVIL’S DOORWAY (July 13, 2018)
Northern Ireland, 1960: Father Thomas Riley and Father John Thornton are dispatched by the Vatican to investigate reports of a miracle— a statue of the Virgin Mary weeping blood — at a remote Catholic asylum for ‘immoral’ women. Armed with 16mm film cameras to record their findings, the priests instead discover a depraved horror show of sadistic nuns, satanism, and demonic possession. Supernatural forces are at work here — but they are not the doing of God. Inspired by the infamous true histories of Magdalene Laundries — in which ‘fallen women’ were held captive by the Irish Catholic Church — this found footage occult shocker is a chilling encounter with unspeakable evil.”

Career religious people doing non-religious activities? And this is new how? Still, it seems to have all the right ingredients.

The Row

THE ROW (July 27, 2018)
“With a serial killer preying upon girls on campus, Riley, an incoming freshman, finds herself entangled in a sinister plot involving a dark secret at the sorority that she pledged, while her father, Cole — the detective investigating the case — must uncover the identity of the killer before it’s too late…and Riley becomes the next victim.”

Yep, standard serial killer plot #101. Heck, so plentiful are these, you can even buy these scripts in pawn shops.

Two Werewolves = Twice The Fun

Posted in Classic Horror, Evil, Nature Gone Wild, Scream Queens, Slashers, Werewolves with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on October 14, 2014 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Blood Moon

Blood Moon, an upcoming werewolf movie, is described as a mash-up of comedy, horror and the western. Sounds cool – just as long as they don’t make the werewolves wear spurs that jingle jangle jingle.

Like all westerns, Blood Moon (no official release date set as of this e-scribble; be sure and check your sun dial) takes place in 1887 in Colorado. “A passenger-heavy stagecoach and an gunslinger are held hostage by two outlaws on the out with the law. Events take an unexpected turn when the travelers are stalked by a mythical beast that only appears on the night of a blood red moon.” I bet it’s a werewolf.

P.S. Do not confuse this Blood Moon with Bloodmoon from 1990, in which a serial killer, loose at an all girl school, strangles them with barbed wire. What a dick.

Bloodmoon

And since the only thing better than a werewolf movie is another werewolf movie, comes Wolves, releasing on October 16, 2014 on VOD and limited theater release in November 2014.

Wolves

Wolves sounds like somebody’s been watching Twilight (2008): “Cayden Richards, 18, has it all: captain of the high school football team; straight-A student; gorgeous girlfriend. But when he wakes one dark night to find his parents brutally murdered he is horrified to realize that he is turning into an animal: a wild, savage wolf.”

“Panicked, Cayden runs, determined to find out what is happening to him. His quest leads him to the strange, isolated town of Lupine Ridge, where two clans of wolves are on the brink of war. When Cayden falls for Angelina, the beautiful, young mate promised to another wolf, a battle to the death is inevitable.”

Two things: Cayden is a really dumb name for a werewolf. Secondly, when in fur form, he looks a lot like me after being denied last call…

Wolves