Sam Danville, about to be hanged for wrongness in the late 1800s, is saved at the last minute from wearing a Texas necktie by alien metallic scorpion bugs that shoot gasoline-powered sharp stuff out of their tail. Weird, but then Sam’s daily horoscope did say he’d meet new and exciting friends this week.
Problem is, these bugs aren’t anybody’s friends. They are here to suck uranium, which one enterprising guy has been mining in order to one day cash in. There’s just no market for it right now, so he’ll just have to put up with those weeping radiation sores a bit while longer.
A whiskey drinkin’ female bounty hunter is in town, trying to cash in on her latest client, and tangles with these RV-sized creatures. But you gotta shoot ’em in the uranium hole in order to bring ’em down. And speaking of gaping holes, the bugs are digging big tunnels right in the middle of town to get to the potentially profitable mineral.
Well, hey – just dump some dynamite in there and blow them there bugs to smithereens. Two problems: there’s not a whole lotta dynamite. Secondly, the mothership, a giant metal golf ball UFO, floats into view and dispenses hundreds more bugs. Gol’durn it.
Roads outta town are blocked. There’s one horse left, and it’s crapping all over the place. The plan is for all the survivors – Rose, the bounty hunter, Sam, another criminal sprung from jail, and Sam’s sorta girlfriend Abigail, a doctor who keeps losing patients – to go to the secret uranium stash, rig it to blow up, then live happily ever after. Looked good on paper.
Greed intercedes (hey, that rhymes), and Rose and Gus (the aforementioned criminal) make to run off with the uranium and sell it once future markets are established. The bugs don’t think so.
Fortunately, there’s one stick of dynamite left. Unfortunately, the fuse has been compromised. Someone’s gotta stay as bait and manually light the fuse at just the right moment. Ain’t gonna be me. Since Sam made himself out to be an OK guy earlier, and since Abigail is still in love with him, you do the math.
High Plains Invaders (2009) may have come up short on the plot (and a dull thud of an ending), but the bugs looked cool, as did their metal golf ball mothership. But I can’t help feeling something was missing. Probably a rap music soundtrack.