Archive for Foreign Horror

Horror Magazines, Holiday Demons, Hellish Drugs

Posted in Classic Horror, Evil, Foreign Horror, Ghosts, Nature Gone Wild, Science Fiction, Slashers with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on February 17, 2018 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Fangoria

Was talking to a horror movie friend of mine in a bar (or as I like to call it, spin class), and ruminating over the demise of the globally prominent Fangoria horror movie magazine, which started in 1979 and ended abruptly went down the porcelain library a few years ago. They did, however, keep the website going. Meh.

Imagine me doing a faceplant as it was just announced Fangoria, under new ownership, will fire up the printers once again. What are the odds?

Fangoria

From the press release…

Cinestate, the Texas-based entertainment company, has acquired all the assets and trademarks of the Fangoria brand, which includes the magazine. Also, Tony Timpone and Michael Gingold are set to return with their columns as well as consult the company going forward. Thanks to a new investment, a new Editor-in-Chief, and a new Publisher, the world’s highest-profile horror movie magazine is reemerging as a collectible quarterly with the first issue set to drop this fall in time for Halloween (2018)”.

Fangoria

It should be somehow noted that on December 5, 2007, a warehouse in Oregon, Illinois, which contained all back issues of Fangoria and Starlog magazines, was fired by fire. It’s common knowledge that back issues of Fangoria are not re-printed. This is good news for me as I own the entire collection (except for a few of the last few issues), all (over 300) kept in plastic with cardboard backing and stored in those cool comic book boxes. I’ll start the bidding at $1,000 — and you pay for shipping. Or come over with your checkbook, a van or front-loader, and a sixer of tall boys to seal the deal.

Fangoria

Not sure how a quarterly publication schedule is gonna be relevant in today’s digital second-by-second breaking horror news atmospheric conditions, though. The news would be as old as me by the time it comes out. But hey, with legacy editors on board, put me in the game, coach.

Fangoria

So while we wait for Fangoria’s obstetrician to arrive on scene, here’s some second-by-second breaking news about upcoming horror and sci-fi movies that may or may belong in the porcelain library…

Await Further Instructions

AWAIT FURTHER INSTRUCTIONS (2018)
“The Milgram family, who have gathered to celebrate Christmas, find a mysterious black substance has surrounded their house. Something monumental is clearly happening right outside their door, but what exactly? An industrial accident, a terrorist attack, nuclear war? Descending into terrified arguments, they turn on the television, desperate for any information. On screen, a message glows ominously: ‘Stay Indoors and Await Further Instructions”.

Ewww! — black stuff on your yard at Christmas? Is that the new coal for a year’s worth of suspect behavioral patterns, or was Santa eating gas station burritos again? Either way, this movie echoes 2006’s Right At Your Door, wherein toxic ash snows down upon your ash hole and guys in hazmat suits show up to seal you inside your blackend house with plastic tarp and all-purpose duct tape. (Is there anything that tape can’t do?) Hazmat suits are kinda neat.

All The Creatures Were Stirring

ALL THE CREATURES WERE STIRRING (2018)
“When an awkward date on Christmas Eve leads a couple into a strange theater, they’re treated to a bizarre and frightening collection of Christmas stories, featuring a wide ensemble of characters doing their best to avoid the horrors of the holidays. From boring office parties and last-minute shopping to vengeful stalkers and immortal demons, there’s plenty out there to fear this holiday season.”

Either a bit late or way too early in the year for holiday movies. But hey, when isn’t it a good time to celebrate the birth of Santa Claus, our commander in chief?

White Chamber

WHITE CHAMBER (2018)
“The United Kingdom. Soon. Civil war rages. A woman wakes up in a blindingly white cuboid cell. Using its sophisticated functionality, her captor tortures her for information she claims not to have — or does she?”

Sounds a bit like Cube (1997), except those “rooms” weren’t white. In fact, they looked like they were painted in nice metal-flavored hues. Instead of windows, though, each room in this gigantic Rubik’s Cube™was a trap so deadly, you could end up deadly dead. Hope that doesn’t happen to the nice woman in the blindingly white cuboid cell. I vote we give her sunglasses and a couple of magazines.

Discarnate

DISCARNATE (2018/2019)
“A neuroscientist’s obsession with a drug that expands the human mind inadvertently unleashes a deadly supernatural force on his team.”

Gotta say —nifty movie poster. The monster looks like some sort of evil Christmas tree on which to hang tinsel and/or fully anatomically detailed gingerbread men/women cookies. As for the drug that expands the human mind, look no further than the pleasingly arranged coolers at 7-Eleven™. More so if the store clerk is wearing a lab coat.

Artful Sharks, Southern Fried Zombies, Rioting Girls

Posted in Evil, Foreign Horror, Giant Monsters, Nature Gone Wild, Science Fiction, Sharks, Slashers, Witches, Zombies with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on February 14, 2018 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Meg

Been marveling (again) over the non-official sales art for the upcoming big budget giant shark movie, Meg. Designed by artist David Graham, it’s so cool, the movie studio should just buy it from him and use that to sell the movie. (Not fake news: I posted this very same art in August of 2017 — and I endorse that statement.)

Jaws

While David’s done several work-ups for Meg (in theaters August 10, 2018), the one featured here looks like it was inspired by another artist’s “movie” art. No party foul — when it comes to giant sharks, we’re all aquatic allies.

Speaking of vintage Jaws movie art (official or not), here’s one you may not have seen on dry/sorta wet land…

Jaws

While you avoid getting in the water come August, here are a few upcoming horror/sci-fi movies that may or may not take a big bite out of your life…

Attack of the Southern Fried Zombies

ATTACK OF THE SOUTHERN FRIED ZOMBIES (March 13, 2018)
“Lonnie, a crop duster pilot, must lead a mismatched group of survivors to escape the deadly zombie horde after an experimental chemical, intended to control the invasive kudzu vine, transforms the citizens of Charleston, MS into zombies.”

Did this come out in February of 2017? That’s what IMDB.com is saying. And yet the trailer on YouTube™ and the date on the movie poster itself is claiming March 13, 2018 as its release date. I’m so confused.

He's Out There

HE’S OUT THERE (2018)
“On vacation at a remote lake house, a mother and her two young daughters must fight for survival after falling into a terrifying and bizarre nightmare conceived by a psychopath.”

YET ANOTHER psychopath conceiving nightmares for non-psychopaths. Not sure which orchestra I fall into.

Riot Girls

RIOT GIRLS (2018)
“Set in a world where adults have mysteriously died and resources are scarce, Riot Girls tells the story of a teenage girl who is called to action when her brother is captured by rivals and set to be executed. Joined by the girl who has always loved her, and the boy who wants to love her, the threesome tear through the crumbling suburbs on a violent road marked by sexual discovery, betrayal and brutal justice.”

Cool, but isn’t sexual discovery, betrayal and brutal justice pretty much the same thing anymore?

Darkness Visible

DARKNESS VISIBLE (2018)
“Londoner Ronnie embarks on a journey to India when his mother, Suleka, goes missing and mysteriously ends up in a Kolkata hospital. Before Ronnie can unravel the mystery of what brought his mother back to her homeland, Suleka dies in an apparent cult killing. Further deaths point to a series of past murders that stopped 28 years ago when Suleka left India with her infant son. Until now. As the darkness within Ronnie grows and the murders reach their peak, all roads lead to the feared witch of Kolkata’s insane asylum.”

I’ve been to Kolkata’s insane asylum. They must’ve changed the sign, as it now reads: The Tug Tavern. I did buy one of Kolkata’s T-shirts, though. Their branding looks a heckuva lot like Motorhead’s logo.

Zombie Justice, Vampire Detective, Saturn’s 7-Eleven

Posted in Asian Horror, Asian Sci-Fi, Foreign Horror, Giant Monsters, Zombies with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on February 13, 2018 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Pacific Rim: Uprising

A new poster for Pacific Rim: Uprising (2018). Looks nifty, although after watching the trailers this whole thing is starting to smell like one of those steaming mess Transformer movies. Giant robots fighting giant monsters from another dimension, though, still looks good on paper. So yeah, I’ll go see it.

Pacific Rim: Uprising

Until these machines get their metal groove on when the movie is released in March, 2018, here are a few just released and upcoming horror/sci-fi movies that may or may not be steaming messes…

Black Hollow Cage

BLACK HOLLOW CAGE (available now)
“A girl, who lives secluded in a house in the woods with the only company of her father and a wolfhound, finds among the trees a mysterious cubic device with the ability to change the past.”

I’m betting the “mysterious cubic device” is an outhouse. Logical when you see that outhouses have the ability to change the past as well. Ate a bad burrito last night and its causing havoc on your Lynyrd innards? Use the outhouse and presto! — you’ve been factory re-set and the past is (no pun intended) behind you.

RV: Resurrected Victims

RV: RESURRECTED VICTIMS (available now)
“In the near future, murder victims have begun coming back to life with the sole purpose of avenging their deaths. Jin-hong is a cold-hearted prosecutor who’s obsessed with catching the man that killed his mother. But when she returns home, intent on killing him, he quickly becomes the lead suspect.”

Neat twist on the zombie theme, even though they don’t use the Z word anywhere. But a rose by any other name…

Detective K: Secret of the Living Dead

DETECTIVE K: SECRET OF THE LIVING DEAD (February 16, 2018)
“When a series of unusual murders occurs, Detective K and his partner are once again called upon to solve the case. Along the way, he teams up with a beautiful woman with amnesia and together they discover vampire bite marks on all of the bodies. As they investigate further, they begin to realize that the woman is somehow closely connected to the deaths.”

Detective K. Cool name. Detective P? Not so much. And the beautiful woman with amnesia— they practically tell you she’s the vampire they’re looking for. Better to let her suck on a body part to make sure and… HEY — get your mind out of the gutter, you pervs. FYI: This one has an alternate title: Detective K: Secret of the Bloodsucking Demon. There is no part of that I don’t like.

The Titan

THE TITAN (APRIL 13, 2018)
“When Earth’s resources start rapidly depleting, the human race is faced with the threat of swift and inevitable extinction. As the clock ticks down, and options become increasingly limited, space exploration emerges as mankind’s last hope. Hotshot Air Force pilot, Rick Janssen is chosen for a military experiment that will create a human being capable of surviving the harsh environments of Saturn’s moon, Titan. The experiment is successful, turning Rick into a super-human. But it also creates deadly side-effects which threaten the lives of Rick, his wife, Abigail, his family, and possibly humanity itself.”

Crud — we drink up all of Earth’s resources and Titan, the largest of Saturn’s 62 moons, is the only lunar 7-Eleven™ we can go wreck? There are lots more planets closer. And since Saturn is 746 million miles away, at $3.09 average for a gallon of gas — and correctly assuming any space rocket would get at least 35 miles per gallon — it would take $2,360,760,000.00 to fill the tank. That would buy a lot of Romulan Ale.

P.S. I saw two release dates for this — one in April and, according to the poster, supposedly in May. Pick your fav month and go with that.

Cloverfield in Space, The Search for Bigfoot, Mutant Fish ‘n Chips

Posted in Aliens, Evil, Fantasy, Foreign Horror, Ghosts, Giant Monsters, Nature Gone Wild, Science Fiction with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on February 5, 2018 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

The Cloverfield Paradox

The big horror/sci-fi news came on the cleated heels of Superbowl LIIThe Cloverfield Paradox (2018), a highly anticipated installment in the Cloverfield franchise — showed up on Netflix™ the second the world’s most overpaid football game ended. This caused my blood pressure to go off the charts as the movie was first titled God Particle. Then it had a movie theater release date, but scrapped that a the last minute and put it up on Netflix™. I did what anyone would do in this situation — drink a refreshing adult beverage to regain self control, and then watched it.

Here’s the premise…

“An American space station that, after an accident with a particle accelerator, suddenly finds that Earth has vanished altogether. Things get stranger when they then pick up traces of another space station nearby.”

The Cloverfield Paradox

Rather bland considering it was meant to tie up loose ends left loose by Cloverfield (2008) and 10 Cloverfield Lane (2016). But critics were not impressed and had this to say about the admittedly confusing movie: “A trainwreck of a sci-fi flick bent on extending a franchise that should have died a peaceful death almost exactly one decade ago…”Hollywood Reporter; “While there are a handful of nifty sequences and good performances overall, this feels like a blown-out pilot for one of those SyFy™ series you always mean to get around to but never do…”Thrillist; and more succinctly, The Cloverfield Paradox is an unholy mess…”The Guardian. Ouch.

The Cloverfield Paradox

Whether or not you watch it and decide to go all mob mentality on The Cloverfield Paradox, here are a few more just released and upcoming horror and sci-fi documentaries/movies that may or may not turn out to be an unholy mess…

Expedition SasquatchEXPEDITION SASQUATCH (available now)
“A new documentary about the Sasquatch of Nordegg, Alberta. This area has become increasingly popular among Bigfoot researchers and enthusiasts due to the baffling tree structures that can be found in the area.”

Checked on Expedia.com and I can fly from Seattle, to Nordegg, Alberta — round-trip — for $296 smackos. Once in Nordegg (that name sounds so mad up), I’ll be able to Air BnB it with my ‘ol pal, Bigfoot. It’d be cool if he had some Unibroue La Fin Du Monde on ice waitin’ for me. That stuff is 9% alcohol and a few bottles of that will have you seeing mythical monsters all over the place.

Asylum of Fear

ASYLUM OF FEAR (available now)
“When a team of paranormal investigators is hired to inspect a soon-to-be demolished mental institution, they discover horrifying clues that reveal the cause of a violent massacre by an insane doctor in the 1960s.”

Don’t they know mental institutions are supposed to be abandoned and subsequently haunted and not knocked down to make room for YET ANOTHER Starbucks™? Still, the generic Asylum of Fear makes sense that the place was f’d up by an insane doctor. At least he was in the right place. You don’t bring a knife to a gunfight.

The Barge People

THE BARGE PEOPLE (2018)
“Set on the canals amid the glorious British countryside, two sisters and their boyfriends head off for a relaxing weekend away on a barge, unaware of the flesh-eating fish mutants lurking in the water, ready and waiting to feed.”

Flesh-eating fish mutants lining up to dine on barge food? Do fries go with that? Regardless, I’d like to reserve a table, close to the docks, if possible.

November

NOVEMBER (2018)
“The story is set in a pagan Estonian village where werewolves, the plague, and spirits roam. The villagers’ main problem is how to survive the cold, dark winter. And, to that aim, nothing is taboo. People steal from each other, from their German manor lords, and from spirits, the devil, and Christ. To guard their souls, they’ll give them away to thieving creatures made of wood and metal called Kratts, who help their masters by stealing more.”

The trailer for this is very art house-y. But gotta say, the wood and metal Kratt creatures are pretty cool and candidates for McDonald’s Happy Meal™ toys. (Last Happy Meal™ I got had a toy napkin in the box. Sure, those things are fun to play with, but I wanted a Cloverfield action figure, dang it.

Fearsome Phones, Possessed by Aliens, Demonic Kitties

Posted in Aliens, Asian Horror, Asian Sci-Fi, Evil, Foreign Horror, Nature Gone Wild, Science Fiction with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on February 4, 2018 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Morgan's Mutations

There are one billion kinds of smartphone cases out there, but not one of ‘em is as cool as the handcrafted ones made by freakishly talented artist Morgan Loebel. A dental technician by trade, Loebel hand-sculpts and paints one-of-a-kind horror smartphone cases made out of polymer clay. I don’t know what that is. But I do want one of his cases. (Disclaimer — I don’t own a smartphone, but would still like one of his super awesome cases I can show off in bars to act like a big shot.)

Morgan's Mutations

Calling his creations Morgan’s Mutations (catchy), Loebel has an Etsy site as well as a Facebook and Instagram page so you can keep up with his latest designs (He also does lightswitch plates and lighters.) And hey, he takes requests! Of course you need this. Click HERE and HERE and HERE to go about getting one. (Phone not included, dang it.)

Morgan's Mutations

While you’re waiting in line to get a Morgan’s Mutations original, here are a few horror/sci-fi movies that may or may not feature polymer clay…

Before We Vanish

BEFORE WE VANISH (available now)
“Three aliens travel to Earth on a mission in preparation for a mass invasion. Having taken possession of human bodies, the visitors rob their hosts of the very essence of their being, leaving psychological and spiritual devastation in their wake.”

Switch out the word “alien” with alcohol and you get the same results.

Scorched Earth

SCORCHED EARTH (available now)
“The planet suffered an environmental collapse. The air became dangerous to breathe, the water became toxic, and billions of people died. Generations later mankind has finally re-established a rudimentary society, in which bounty hunters roam the land in search of wanted eco-criminals. Bounty hunter Attica Gage has a chance at the bounty of a lifetime: bringing down the ruthless outlaw, Thomas Jackson. Gage infiltrates Jackson’s gang, and everything is going to plan until she meets a slave girl that reminds her of her dead sister. With her loyalty to only herself now tested, Gage learns that there might be more to life than just survival.”

Eco-criminals? Do they litter instead of rob banks? Do they drop a hot deuce and not use Glade™ afterward? Do they use old car tires in the fireplace to heat the house?  If so, I may be on the bounty hunters’ hit list.

Hell's Kitty

HELL’S KITTY (March 13, 2018)
“Nick, a Hollywood screenwriter, discovers his cat has become murderously possessed, and will stop at nothing to rid him of any women in his life. As his life unravels out of control, Nick must find a way to have his kitty exorcised of the demonic spirit haunting her and creating a body count.”

Odd — usually the owners of cats are the ones possessed. Still, I’ve never seen a pet being exorcised, so might have to buy a few tall boys and a bag of catnip and settle in for this one.

Beyond The Woods

BEYOND THE WOODS (2018)
“Seven friends meet up in the Irish countryside for a secluded weekend getaway but unfortunately for them a fiery sinkhole has opened up in the mountains nearby. It’s burning hot, spewing out sulfur and casting a hellish stench over the local area. Determined to make the most of the weekend, the group decide not to let the noxious atmosphere get to them…but it’s getting worse. Soon the troubling hallucinations begin as an ancient evil starts to take hold. What malevolent force has crawled from the sinkhole and will any of them survive the weekend?”

Sinkhole or stinkhole? I’m thinkin’ those people stumbled across an overflowing outhouse.

Justice For A Ghost

Posted in Asian Horror, Foreign Horror, Ghosts with tags , , , , , , , , , on February 2, 2018 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Arang

What starts out as a series of unusual murders, in which the male victims were all close friends who probably touched each others’ butts, ends up as a complicated paranormal-driven mystery even Inspector Gadget wouldn’t have been able to solve. That, and the way they died—frightened enough to suffer a heart attack—is just too much a coincidence to ignore.

Arang

Here’s where South Korean’s Arang (2006) goes from a complex murder case with ghost sprinklings, to a full blown brain snap with five endings.

ArangThrough flashbacks we learn the ghost chick female detective So-young’s been unpleasantly dreaming about, was raped and murdered by all the guys who are now turning up dead in the face. One clue leads So-young to a salt storage shed on the beach. Besides making popcorn and Jell-O™ taste yummy, salt is also a preservative. You may think I just gave away a plot spoiler, but you’re wrong-ish.

Arang

Every time So-young uncovers another part of the mystery, there’s another one underneath it. Meanwhile the ghost is ticked — it took 10 years to get someone to finally take her case. Arang is a bit tough to follow, but if you hang out you’ll be rewarded with a sick ass ending, which as you know, is why we all watch these things. I don’t know what Arang translates to, but I’m guessing it means “rent me, today if possible!

Mutual Mutilation

Posted in Asian Horror, Foreign Horror with tags , , , , , , , on January 31, 2018 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Black House

Here’s a fun and educational thing to do: watch an insurance adjuster process fraudulent claims! (OK, I’m being a smidge douche-y here, but work with me.) Jeon Jun-oh is an insurance investigator who checks out people who kill their own family members for cash. That’s probably not a cool thing to do.

Black House

Once such guy is filing a claim on behalf of his son’s suicide. The police won’t help Jeon prove it was a murder for some silly reason. And the movie drags on and on. Then something horribly fun happens. Arms are put under industrial paper cutters. Eyes and mouths are stitched up without anesthetic. Stabbings occur to the stomach area. Keys get plunged into eyeballs. Black House (aka, Geomeun jip/2007) is way dull until the last ten minutes, then all holy WTF breaks loose.

Black House

The weird guy whom Jeon thought was trying to collect the insurance money was actually acting weird for a reason: someone cut off his arms! No more pouring your own cereal. Jeon’s girlfriend gets abducted because he’s too close to THE TRUTH. A quick search leads him to a veritable human slaughter house that’d give the guy in Saw (2004) a warm fuzzy feeling in his tummy.

Black House

The plot is sluggish (made even more tedious with the Korean sub-titles) and stretching things. (People killing people for insurance money? Come on — that stuff doesn’t happen in real life.) But the ending sequence is deliciously gruesome with body parts laying around like festive decorations and such. And I mean that in a delightful way.