Archive for Godzilla

Farming Ghosts, Artificial Blood, Kaiju Floorwear

Posted in Evil, Ghosts, Godzilla, Misc. Horror, Nature Gone Wild, Science Fiction, Zombies with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on September 12, 2017 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Godzilla Rug

This 5’x4’ Godzilla rug is one of those things everybody in the world needs to have. Unless, of course, you have hardwood floors and just say no to rugs.

Love the idea of a Godzilla rug. G’s been wiping his monstrous feet on humanity since 1954. Nothing like a little payback.

Godzilla Rug

Before you rush off to buy this thing [click HERE eventually], here are a few upcoming horror/sci-fi movies to cushion your soul/sole…

Watch Over Us

WATCH OVER US (September 12, 2017)
“A father and his young daughters move onto their grandfather’s secluded farm following the breakup of their parents. But once there, they are soon plagued by paranormal events that reveal a deadly secret that has haunted the family for generations, and an evil force that demands they uphold a deadly promise made by their ancestors.”

There are lots of movies about paranormal evil things in old farms/barns/pig pens. Which makes one ponder — is the farmer’s market cauliflower we’ve been eating borne of ancient evil? Cauliflower sure tastes like it.

Broken Darkness

BROKEN DARKNESS (2017/2018)
“Eight years after the world ends from a massive meteor shower, humanity has sought refuge underground. A broken man who has lost all hope after the death of his son, is forced to survive within the underground. Hunted down by mutated creatures, bandits and cannibals alike, they risk everything to venture back to the surface to find their lost home.”

Mutated creatures, bandits and cannibals. Why didn’t they just say Republicans? Still, these adversaries aren’t anything more than what you’d encounter at The Tug Tavern on Taco Tuesday.

Fake Blood

FAKE BLOOD (2017/2018)
“Rob Grant and Mike Kovac receive a disturbing fan video inspired by their previous horror movie Mon Ami, motivating them to investigate the responsibility of filmmakers in portraying violence in movies. In their pursuit of the truth they are unwittingly introduced to the real world of violent criminals and their victims.”

Violence in movies is so commonplace, I refuse to watch flicks that don’t have some form of savage behavior in it. Think of it as steak sauce on fried spam. Strap on the feedbag!

House of Dad

HOUSE OF DAD (2017/2018)
“While Pip’s only objective is to get to school, his father stands in his way, spouting several ambiguous ‘life lessons’ that serve more as obstacles than experiential aids. Pip’s father has tested Pip with his antics before; however, when Pip is assigned his most outrageous task yet, he reaches a boiling point.”

Boiling point is 212°F or 100°C. Figured this might make you wanna see the movie more than the press release.

Giant, Medium and Small Monsters

Posted in Asian Horror, Asian Sci-Fi, Fantasy, Foreign Horror, Giant Monsters, Godzilla, Nature Gone Wild, Science Fiction with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on August 19, 2017 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Rebirth of Mothra III

In Rebirth of Mothra III (1998), Godzilla’s favorite chew toy (a moth, but for all intents, a giant kite with mystical properties), has more split personalities than a psycho ex-girlfriend. Returning for this second  fantasy-framed sequel are previous incarnations AquaMothra and that Earth-hugging Rainbow Mothra.

Rebirth of Mothra III

Flapping new wings are Light Speed Mothra (she should rep for Nascar™), Armor Mothra (she’s into heavy metal), Primitive Mothra (should be called Netscape 3 Mothra), Fairy Mothra (a smaller, more crushable version) and Eternal Mothra (Been There And Continue To Do That Mothra). All of ’em are called on to show Grand King Ghidorah some in-yer-face humility. And if that wasn’t enough, they throw in some dinosaurs. Good call.

Rebirth of Mothra III

The Elias sisters, miniature fairy princesses — Lora, Moll and that totally bitchy Belvara — are at it again (see Rebirth of Mothra/1996). Belvara’s struggle for some sort of magic sword and her “all things hatred for humankind” set off a spectacular battle with all the interested parties. There’s meteor showers and more freakin’ kids getting in the way. (And you thought Gamera had it up to here with meddling brats?)

Rebirth of Mothra III

The three-necked Grand King Ghidorah is being blamed for the extinction of dinosaurs, and he’s not willing to take the rap. (In all fairness, it really was him, we just can’t prove it.) As GKG demonstrates, he’s not a 400-foot tall pushover. But as the shock-and-awe confrontation reaches the boil-over point, Armor Mothra provides a bloodless, wing-slicing smack down.

Rebirth of Mothra III

Here’s an idea — the next time criminal giant kaiju wanna get pissy, let’s do without the kids and make this a “winner takes all” monster-sized pay-per-view. Really, it’s the only way to save this sugary franchise from further rotting our teeth/brains/prehistoric legacy.

Godzilla Bombs, Demon Police, Head App

Posted in Asian Horror, Asian Sci-Fi, Bigfoot, Classic Horror, Evil, Foreign Horror, Giant Monsters, Godzilla, Nature Gone Wild, Science Fiction with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on August 15, 2017 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Oxygen Destroyer

Been keeping an i-ball (heh) open for continuing information on the 2019 Godzilla movie, which is scheduled to include G-foes Mothra, Rodan and King Ghidorah. Recently leaked is the news that this kaiju rodeo is flashing respect to the original Godzilla movie (1954) with the inclusion of the famous Oxygen Destroyer, the science water bomb (made by the FIRST Dr. Serizawa) that melted Godzilla’s flesh off his super-sized bones. That Godzilla somehow came back to life and starred in a plethora of sequels is probably noteworthy.

Speaking of bombs, will the new Oxygen Destroyer be able to  stop the new Godzilla ’n super friends from turning the Earth’s landscape into garden mulch? While we all ponder that, here are a few upcoming horror and sci-fi movies that may or may not bomb at the box office…

Demon Hunter

DEMON HUNTER (August 15, 2017/VOD)
“Captured by police for questioning in the slaying of a man she claimed was a demon, Taryn Barker must prove her innocence, and the existence of demons. But when a cult captures the daughter of one of the detectives on the case, the police must trust, and unleash, this warrior on the Satanic group who are intent on bringing an ancient evil force into the world.”

Where would we be without demon hunters? I certainly don’t want to have to clean up those evil messes. I did enough of that as a bus station bathroom attendant.

Rememory

REMEMORY (August 24, 2017)
“The body and unexplained death of Gordon Dunn, a visionary scientific pioneer, is found shortly after the unveiling of his newest work: a device able to extract, record and play a person’s memories. Gordon’s wife, Carolyn, retreats into her house and cuts off contact with the outside world when a mysterious man shows up. After stealing the machine, he uses it to try and solve the mystery, beginning an investigation of memories that lead him to unexpected and dangerous places.”

A device that can record and playback memories probably isn’t science fiction (Apple™ is no doubt working on an iPhone™ app as we speak). I won’t be buying one — some memories are better left buried. Those I can remember, anyway.

House By The Lake

HOUSE BY THE LAKE (2017/2018)
“A struggling married couple try to reconnect at an idyllic lake house, but their relationship is tested when their young daughter begins to fixate on an imaginary friend that may or may not be real.”

Couldn’t be Bigfoot as he’s not imaginary. Her “friend” is likely one of those lake monsters. I hear they live in lakes. Wonder if Bigfoot has ever seen a lake monster during one of his frequent nature walks?

Boots On The Ground

BOOTS ON THE GROUND (2018)
“Five British soldiers try to stay alive on the last night of the Afghan War, facing not just the Taliban, but also supernatural forces more terrifying than anything they’ve encountered before.”

If anyone can take down a supernatural force, it’s the British. Just look at what Harry Potter was able to accomplish with a stick and a broom.

R.I.P. Godzilla’s Soul

Posted in Asian Horror, Asian Sci-Fi, Fantasy, Foreign Horror, Giant Monsters, Godzilla, Science Fiction with tags , , , , , , , , , , on August 7, 2017 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Haruo Nakajima

Having lost so many greats in a short period of time, we unfortunately have to add another legend to the list: Haruo Nakajima, 88, who brought Godzilla to life as the guy who wore the G-suit for 12 Godzilla movies in a row (though he was in 52 movies throughout his career). The only way I could come close to that was when I once wore a Godzilla tee-shirt 12 days in a row without changing it. (Didn’t have enough bling for the washing machine.)

Godzilla

Born on January 1, 1929, Nakajima became known as the best suit actor for Toho Films, beginning in 1954. He retired from crushing it after 1972’s Godzilla vs. Gigan. Little known fact: Mr. Nakajima played the head of Mothra in 1961. Easy job — someone else had to keep yanking the string to get those wings to flap. All Nakajima had to do was nod up and down, left and right. Same thing I do when at a bar and am ordering YET ANOTHER REFRESHING ADULT BEVERAGE.

Mothra

I was fortunate enough to meet Mr. Nakajima at a comic convention some years back and got an autographed pic (same as the one seen above) of him in the Godzilla suit. I wanted to try on the suit but was denied. I don’t blame Mr. Nakajima for this as Toho were being jerks that day and not letting anybody slip on the big feet to do a little Riverdancin’ all over fleeing citizens.

Godzilla vs. Hedorah

Toho did, however, keep Mr. Nakajima employed and had him working at a bowling alley in the studio lot. Appropriate in some ways — Mr. Nakajima as Godzilla used to do to buildings what bowling balls do to the pins.

Godzilla vs. Gigan

Thank you, Haruo Nakajima — you’ve given me a lifetime of reasons to sit on the couch and study your work — and how to squash buildings/fleeing citizens with style and grace.

Drunk Aquaman, Fake Frankenstein, Godzilla Fashion

Posted in Aliens, Classic Horror, Fantasy, Giant Monsters, Godzilla, Nature Gone Wild, Science Fiction, UFOs with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on July 9, 2017 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Godzilla

This has got to be one of the coolest Godzilla shirts going: “Now I am become death, the destroyer of worlds.” That immortal — and unsettling — phrase, of course, came from J. Robert Oppenheimer, father of the atomic bomb. (He’d always have a back-up job as a fireworks designer should we ever run out of the need for Earth-splitting explosives.)

During a televised interview in 1965 after one of his ka-BOOMS was first tested, Oppenheimer uttered the chilling words, “Now I am become death, the destroyer of worlds.” (It should be noted he looked sad when he said it.) Also, he was quoting the 1944 Prabhavananda and Isherwood translation of Hindu scripture, the Bhagavad Gita. (I totally knew that.)

That said, time to scrape together some bit coin action and purchase said Godzilla action wear.

Speaking of things that could go off in your face, here are a few upcoming horror, sci-fi and fantasy movies that may or may not blow up the box office…

Simple Creature

SIMPLE CREATURE (July 11, 2017)
A college student gets into a near-fatal bus accident, but instead of dying, she is reborn through hybrid technology by her biotech father and his advanced lab.

Um, Mary Shelley, author of Frankenstein (1818), might wanna have a few words with you about this “plot” of yours.

Man Underground

MAN UNDERGROUND (July 14, 2017)
“A reclusive conspiracy theorist enlists people from his small town to help him make a low-budget movie about his experience encountering aliens while working as a geologist for the US government.”

I’ve never encountered an alien — YET. But WHEN I DO, I won’t be making a movie about it. Rather, I will beg them to get me off this toilet Earth and to do it without any of that probing they’re infamous for. (Or as we call it here, a “Texas Handshake.”)

Aquaman

AQUAMAN (December 21, 2018)
Aquaman finds himself caught between a surface world that ravages the sea and the underwater Atlanteans who are ready to revolt.”

Simply cannot wait for this one. Not only does it feature Aquaman looking totally badass (he also drinks booze straight from the bottle — no sippy cup for this superhero), he’s joined by the stunningly gorgeous Mera, Queen of Atlantis and Black Manta, an underwater criminal who hates Aquaman and his groundbreaking cannonball techniques.

Pacific Rim: Uprising

PACIFIC RIM: UPRISING (February 23, 2018)
No word on the plot, but one might guess those defeated Kaiju (giant monsters) in Pacific Rim (2013) that came out of an interdimensional portal on the bottom of the Pacific Ocean want a re-match.

Their opponents, of course, are man-made Jaegers (giant mecha robots) controlled by two pilots whose minds swap spit in the mental shower. Very much looking forward to some supersized slobber knockers being traded on a city-leveling scale. That’d be pretty neat if the Jaegers were all wearing that Godzilla shirt.

Capes, Wooden Horror, Godzilla’s Frenemies

Posted in Aliens, Asian Horror, Asian Sci-Fi, Classic Horror, Evil, Foreign Horror, Giant Monsters, Godzilla, Nature Gone Wild, Science Fiction, Zombies with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on June 22, 2017 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Godzilla: King of Monsters

The new Justice League (releasing November, 2017) movie key art shows Superman, who “died” in Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice (2016), standing with the team of superheroes Batman assembled to fight what looks to be human-esque dragonflys with glow-y eyes. Wonder how they brought him back from the dead? Maybe brined his corpse in yellow sun juice or something.

This is all cool ‘n stuff, but I’m looking forward to seeing the new Aqua Man and another chance to see Wonder Woman clearing the dance floor. (If you haven’t seen the new WW movie, what the double heck is wrong with you?)

Speaking of, here’s some upcoming new horror/sci-fi to anticipate as if unwrapping a thoughtful gift from, say, 7-Eleven™…

GODZILLA: KING OF MONSTERS (March 22, 2019)
“The new story follows the heroic efforts of the crypto-zoological agency Monarch as its members face off against a battery of god-sized monsters, including the mighty Godzilla, who collides with Mothra, Rodan, and his ultimate nemesis, the three-headed King Ghidorah. When these ancient super-species — thought to be mere myths — rise again, they all vie for supremacy, leaving humanity’s very existence hanging in the balance.”

The sound you just heard was me screaming giddily. (F-you to my upstairs neighbor — you make way more noise than me.) The above info was actually teased right to your face if you sat through the end credits of Kong: Skull Island (2017), which showed petroglyphs (rock art) of Mothra, Rodan and King Ghidorah gettin’ their Godzilla game faces on.

Godzilla vs. King Ghidorah

Don’t get me wrong — I loved the MUTOs (Massive Unidentified Terrestrial Organisms) in the 2014 Godzilla movie. Heck they got more screen time than Godzilla himself, which gave the Internet external hemorrhoids. But to have three classic kaiju that first locked it up with G in 1964’s Godzilla vs. King Ghidorah, is nothing short of Christmas times a billion. And I say that without hyperbole.

The Evil In Us

THE EVIL IN US (July 4, 2017 (DVD)(Walmart)/August 29, 2017 (VOD)(DVD)
“While on a fourth of July holiday, six best friends fall victim to the insidious plan of a terrorist organization when they unknowingly take a bio-active drug that transforms them into bloodthirsty cannibals.”

Bloodthirsty cannibals or…ZOMBIES? A rose by any other name. I bet the bio-active drug was an energy drink purchased at a convenient store not unlike a certain 7-Eleven™.

Annabelle Creation

ANNABELLE CREATION (August 11, 2017)
“A dollmaker and his wife who, 20 years after the tragic death of their little girl, welcome a nun and several girls from a shuttered orphanage into their home. Soon, however, the nun and the girls become the target of the dollmaker’s possessed creation, Annabelle.”

Ugh — I was hoping to avoid writing about this one again (Had to update the poster as I’m often compelled to do.) More puppet horror, which, from what the Internet is e-saying, is the start of a franchise. This was already done with the 13 Puppet Master movies, which began way back in 1989. But if Hollywood can make a quick buck, then Hollywood will.

Joigsaw

JIGSAW (October 28, 2017)
“Bodies are turning up around the city, each having met a uniquely gruesome demise. As the investigation proceeds, evidence points to one man: John Kramer. But how can this be? The man known as Jigsaw has been dead for over a decade. Or has an apprentice picked up the mantle of Jigsaw, perhaps even someone inside the investigation?”

This is more gleeful news — taking off where the brutal yet wickedly entertaining Saw franchise ended in 2010 (seven movies plus one film short). I i-burped this before, but the Saw movies combined is one of the most successful franchises in movie history. You can win bar bets with that bit ‘o information. And I have.

Fredheads

FREDHEADS (2017/2018)
FredHeads is a documentary about the fandom of A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984) and how it has changed the lives of so many people. The documentary will follow three fans as they tell their story and what their journey in the Nightmare community has been; some as fans, others rising through popularity. Along the way, we will be filming at conventions and getting as many fan stories as possible to feature as many fans as we can in the documentary.”

Awesome — a nice tribute to Wes Craven and his horror masterpiece. As they are filming fans at conventions, this could legally pave the way for my co-star credit along side of Freddy Krueger. Prior to this, I was just Photoshopping myself next to Freddy on all his movie posters. (In one we even appear to be BFFs.)

Godzilla vs. Science Mumbo Jumbo

Posted in Asian Horror, Asian Sci-Fi, Classic Horror, Foreign Horror, Giant Monsters, Godzilla, Nature Gone Wild, Science Fiction, Sharks with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on June 18, 2017 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Godzilla vs. Science

A recent (as of June 17, 2017) article written by Dan Zinski on Screenrant.com had famed (and darned entertaining) celebrity scientist Neil deGrasse Tyson explaining why the existence of Godzilla is scientifically impossible. And yet we have over 50 movies featuring Godzilla stomping all over science. Why would movies lie to us?

Godzilla vs. Science

Dr. Tyson goes on to say that “Godzilla could never exist outside of a fictional universe because the laws of physics simply would not allow for it. Essentially, a lizard-like being as huge as Godzilla would be too heavy for his limbs and would collapse under his own weight.”

Did he just call Godzilla fat?

“As you get bigger,” he says, “your weight goes up according to your column. But the strength of your limbs goes up only according to your cross-sectional area — so it’s a matter of area versus volume.”

Godzilla vs. King Kong

Godzilla would collapse under his own weight into a puddle of guts. It’s why heavy animals have thicker legs. So you can’t just scale up an insect and make them big.”

Try telling that to those bus-sized grasshoppers in The Beginning of the End (1957). But I’m skeptical over his cross-sectional statement because, depending on the species, a mere ant can lift 10 to 50 times its own weight. Scale ‘em up to 7-Eleven™ size as in Them! (1954) and the physics go out the window.

Beginning of the End / Them!

But Dr. Tyson’s argument flames the fans a bit more: “It completely negates half the horror movies of the 1950s…”

Perhaps. But Dr. Tyson does allow for a loophole that allows the Godzilla movies to get away with having a giant lizard who, in reality, would not be able to support his own weight. And this clause is radiation.

Godzilla vs. Science

From the article: “Godzilla was awakened by radiation and given super-powers. Like Spider-Man, Godzilla was altered on a sub-atomic level and is now capable of doing things that he should not be able to do, like stomp on buildings, breathe fire and withstand endless attacks with missiles, bombs and all the other weapons humanity can concoct.”

Swish— nothin’ but net! So yes, Godzilla can exist outside of a fictional universe. Now we can all calm down. Watch Shin Gidzilla (2016) with its annoying sub-titles, and marvel over nature’s miracle as it squashes us like we’ve been doing to ants for millenia.

Megoladon vs. School Bus

P.S. The Megalodon shark — PROVEN by fossils — grew up to 60 — 75 feet long. Where’s your science argument now, lab coat?