Archive for punk rock

Die Diary

Posted in Asian Horror, Asian Sci-Fi, Fantasy, Foreign Horror, Misc. Horror with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on March 9, 2019 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Death Note

If a leather bound notebook dropped out of the sky and plopped on the ground in front of you, and had the power to kill anybody just by writing their name in it, would you pick it up? Yeah, me too. 

Light Yagami, a brilliant college student, happens across said notebook (which comes with instructions) and, after watching the news and getting fed up with all the criminals getting away with murder, decides it’s time for a new society, one free of killers and stinkiness. The irony being that he becomes a murderer himself in order to create a Utopian society.

Death Note

Any guilt goes away quick as Light takes out criminal after criminal with just the stroke of his pen. If he doesn’t specify, the victims instantly die from heart attacks. (As he later learns, he can control the time, type and method of the deaths — all from the comfort of his bedroom in the home he shares with his family.)

Death Note

The police are baffled to the point of pulling each other’s hair out. But a mysterious voice comes over the computer, calling itself “L.” This voice belongs to someone who, through sheer deductive logic, narrows down the path to the killer, whom the media has dubbed “Kira.”

Death Note

In order to get Kira to tip his hand, they plant a nationwide broadcast, with the head of police warning Kira that he’s just as bad as the killers he’s been killing, and that they’re closing in on him. Light, watching from home, writes the guy’s name down and kills him on live TV. Joke’s on you — it was a criminal they hired to play a police chief. Now “L” has another vital clue that the police themselves can’t seem to fit together.

Death Note

Where things get freakier is when Ryuk, the God of Death, shows up to watch what happens (he was the one who planted the Death Note in the first place). This guy is 15-feet tall, has sprawling bat wings, punk rock hair, black leather boots, motorcycle boots, sharp fangs, white face, and huge bug eyes… (He pretty much looks any one of a dozen European death metal bass players.) 

GoD floats around and eats apples instead of souls (fruit is healthier for you), and is only visible to those who’ve touched the Death Note. In a sharp twist, Light’s dad, a police detective, is put on the case. What happens when all these elements come together is mind-boggling.

Death Note

It’s a wrenching battle of CSI wits, with “L” turning out to be something you wouldn’t think was worthy of the 12th letter of the alphabet, and it becomes a game of intense cerebral chess as Light expertly sets up “L” and vice versa. And Ryuk, has a ringside seat. Of course, that’s to be expected from a Shinigami, an extra-dimensional being who extends his life via the extinction of others.

DEath Note

You won’t know where Death Note (2006) is going or how it will end unless you’ve read the manga (graphic novel) and/or watched the anime (cartoon). Even afterward, you’re still not sure who to side with. Needless to say, an intelligent and brain-gripping crime horror throw-down — with apples.

P.S. Watch the more graphic U.S. version of Death Note (2017) on Netflix™. It’ll make you stream in your pants.

Snuff TV

Posted in Classic Horror, Misc. Horror, Science Fiction, TV Vixens with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , on February 12, 2018 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Videodrome

Looking to get better ratings for his state-of-the-art UHF Canadian TV station, Max Renn, the station’s boss, decides that sex and violence simply isn’t enough. (Hey, if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.)

Videodrome

So Max meets up with a guy who operates an illegal satellite dish that can intercept programming from different countries, ones that consider sex and violence nothing but Disney Channel™ fodder. But what he shows Max is a TV show from Malaysia that broadcasts real-life snuff footage. Score! Max believes this to be just what his station needs. (Bye-bye advertisers.)

Videodrome

But what Max doesn’t know is that the TV signal called Videodrome causes the viewer to get all surreal in the senses and hallucinate as if on illegal drugs. In other words, big time ratings, except its working on Max big time.

Videodrome

The gorgeous Deborah Harry of Blondie fame plays Nicki, a psychiatrist. Perfect choice for Max’s new concept of mind-bending television. He starts dating her and, after watching Videodrome, do naughty naked stuff in a rough and tumble manner. Better still, she wants to be on that show. Well heck, double score!

Videodrome

The big revelation (and not a spoiler) is that the TV signal isn’t being broadcast from Malaysia, but Pittsburgh. Once that’s discovered, Videodrome (1983) gets all futuristic punk rock crazy town, with Max having visions of his own flesh being turned into a weapon (there’s a gun in his stomach) and his TV exploding human guts ’n gunk out of the screen. His quotable last words before shooting himself with his tummy gun: “Long live the new flesh!” Preachin’ to the choir, Max.

Videodrome

There’s a Republican Big Brother aspect to all of this, with the real guy in charge trying to wipe out all of us TV watching lowlifes by giving us brain tumors via his channel. As if that hasn’t already happened by watching regular TV programming.

Japanese Ghouls, Alien Chicks, Fist Puppets

Posted in Aliens, Asian Horror, Asian Sci-Fi, Bigfoot, Classic Horror, Fantasy, Foreign Horror, Giant Monsters, Nature Gone Wild, Science Fiction, Slashers, Werewolves, Zombies with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on May 21, 2017 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Tokyo Ghoul

A shout out congratulations to the horror channel American Horrors, who have been streaming brutal, classic/obscure and uncut slasher/serial killer movies for the last five years. Which brings up a random thought: How can slasher movies be “uncut”? Heh.

Here’s some upcoming horror and sci-fi that may or may not be pre-sliced…

TOKYO GHOUL (July 29, 2017/Japan)
Ghouls live among us, the same as normal people in every way – except their craving for human flesh. Shy Ken Kaneki is thrilled to go on a date with the beautiful Rize. But it turns out that she’s only interested in his body – eating it, that is. When a morally questionable rescue transforms him into the first half-human half-ghoul hybrid, Ken is drawn into the dark and violent world of Ghouls, which exists alongside our own.”

Sounds like Ken is ghoul-whipped. Also sounds like a zombie movie, which is what we in America call ghouls. In France they call ‘em “le Ghouls.” It’s like the French have a different word for everything.

How To Talk To Girls At Parties

HOW TO TALK TO GIRLS AT PARTIES (2017)
“Enn is a shy teenage punk rocker in 1970s suburban London along with his two closest friends, Vic and John. One night they all sneak into a party where they meet a group of intensely attractive, otherworldly girls; at first they think they’re from a cult, but eventually come to realize the girls are literally from another world — outer space.”

Aliens or not, they’re still girls, right? Not seeing the problem here. And don’t alien chicks have tentacles and suckers? That means that can hug and kiss your entire body at the same time. If that isn’t a bonus, tell me what is?

The Dark Crystal: Age of Resistance

THE DARK CRYSTAL: AGE OF RESISTANCE (2017/Netflix)
The Dark Crystal: Age of Resistance returns to the world of Thra with an all new adventure. When three Gelfling discover the horrifying secret behind the Skeksis’ power, they set out on an epic journey to ignite the fires of rebellion and save their world.”

A prequel to the 1982 marionette fantasy, The Dark Crystal, created by the master of Muppets, Jim Henson. 35 years is a long time to wait for a sequel to a puppet movie. The late great James Coburn, who co-starred in 1984’s The Muppets Take Manhattan, had this to say about his role (paraphrased): “I ended up playing second fiddle to a piece of green felt with a fist up its ass.” Quite possible the best summation ever on puppets.

Redwood

REDWOOD (2017)
“Musician Josh and his girlfriend Beth head out to a secluded national park in search of some clarity and relaxation. But the couple get more than they bargained for when they ignore the advice of park rangers and venture off the trail, coming face to face with the Redwood’s legendary wildlife.”

Not to be mixed and matched 2014’s The Redwood Massacre. Redwood implies the “legendary wildlife” is Bigfoot or werewolf raccoon impersonating Bigfoot. Only one of those better be right.

Death Notes, Punk Rock, Bigfoot, The X-Files

Posted in Aliens, Asian Horror, Asian Sci-Fi, Bigfoot, Foreign Horror, Ghosts, Science Fiction, Slashers, UFOs with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on April 25, 2017 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Beach Massacre at Kill Devil Hills

YouTube™ is such a glorious wasteland of video treasures. Why, if it weren’t for YT, I’d have never known about all those alien bases and artifacts on the Moon. And all those haunted house “documentaries”? Yep, full of real ghosts that you can talk to.

Don’t get me started on all the Bigfoot videos, though. I love seeing my favorite furry friend on TV (I don’t go into the woods — too many icky bugs live there), but people, you need to give him a break. The poor guy can’t even scratch his swimsuit area and smelling his fingers without someone filming it and uploading the footage for the entire world to see. Embarrassing doesn’t begin to decribe the blatant invasion of privacy.

Speaking of things that should or shouldn’t be seen, here’s some upcoming horror vids to full your tube with…

BEACH MASSACRE AT KILL DEVIL HILLS (2017/summer)
“When Stacy’s abusive ex-husband Jason gets out of prison, she decides to take their daughter Lizzie and her four best friends to her parents beach house. Soon their peaceful plans turn into a nightmare. Who will survive the night?”

Extremely clunky title. How dare they do this to me/you/us/they? And Lizzie has four best friends? Probably not for long by the looks of the movie’s ad poster.

The Rangers

THE RANGER (2017/2018)
“A group of teen punks who get in trouble with the cops. The punks escape to the woods to hide out where they come up against the local authority, an unhinged park ranger with an axe to grind, hell-bent on preserving the serenity of his forest.”

Punk rockers in the woods? Dumb maneuver — if they would’ve gone to the mall, they’d blend in and basically become invisible. Who knew Hot Topics™ could be good for something other than dressing teens in over-priced Goth crap?

Death Note: Light Up The New World

DEATH NOTE: LIGHT UP THE NEW WORLD (2017)
“Set ten years after the events of the previous films, society is afflicted with cyber-terrorism and six different Death Notes have fallen to the human world. In the midst of this two new individuals inherit the DNA of Light Yagami and L, both of who play a deadly game of cat-and-mouse once again.”

This actually came out in Japan in October of 2016, but we’re still waiting for it to knock on our video doors. Maybe it already has. I’ve been busy and didn’t really double-check. I’ve seen the first Death Note (2006) movie; Pretty wild stuff. It revolves around a book that, when someone scribbles a name in it, that person becomes scribbled…to death. While it plays more like a crime mystery, there’s a really freaky punk glam creature that only the holder of the Death Note book can see, who floats around you while you’re trying to grocery shop and/or planning on who to scribble next.

The X-Files

THE X-FILES (2018)
Agents Muldar and Scully are back for another season (#11) — 10 episodes instead of the six we got last year, which had to cram in way too much stuff to catch everybody up to speed, thereby making that season a hot mess. Still, I’m a huge X-Files fan and am giddy at the thought of another season. I hope they add more flying saucers — those things are cool.

Tattooed Vampire

Posted in Scream Queens, Vampires with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , on February 26, 2017 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Snakewoman

Back in her early 20th Century day Oriana Balasz, an underground movie icon, was quite the spanker, what with her deviant behavior and excesses of the flesh. A publishing company wants the rights to all her works, including the film she never released, which promised to be more shocking, even by today’s standards. I don’t know; the bar on shocking is set pretty high. But what the heck — I say go for it.

Snakewoman

A publicist travels to Oriana’s Spanish mansion to sink the deal with her heirs. That’s when Snake Woman shows up, a sort of punk rock biker chick with no clothes, vampire fangs and a snake tattoo that goes all the way around her body and across her butt region.

Snakewoman

The “shocking” love scenes in Snakewoman (2005) are overlong and about as sexy as cardboard. And what is it with European chicks and the unshaved armpit thing? That’s more scary than anything else in this “erotic thriller.” Boring excuse for owning a TV.

Evil, Space Stuff, Spider-Man

Posted in Aliens, Evil, Nature Gone Wild, Science Fiction with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on February 22, 2017 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Spider-Man, Alien

Is it just me or does Spider-Man look like the inspiration for grey aliens or the other way around? These are the things I think about. All the time.

Here are some upcoming new horror/sci-fi movies for you to think about…

Galaxy of Horrors

GALAXY OF HORRORS (March 7, 2017)
“Trapped in a damaged cryogenic pod, a man is forced to watch a series of horrific science-fiction tales while his life support systems run out. Featuring intense stories of the unknown and otherworldly, equally wonderful and terrifying.”

Change cryogenic pod to couch and this could be me. Also smells like a winked homage to the punk rock sci-fi classic A Clockwork Orange (1971), wherein after a hyper violent crime spree, a gang leader is apprehended and is subject to “attempted rehabilitation via controversial psychological conditioning.” It’s the Republican way.

Bethany

BETHANY (April 7, 2017 / VOD / Limited)
“A young woman named Claire moves back to her childhood home only to be haunted by her imaginary friend from when she was a child.”

I never had an imaginary friend. I had imaginary parents, though. I can’t move back to my childhood home, either. I think someone’s been living there since I got kicked out, uh, moved away.

MALICIOUS (2017)
“When a young college professor Adam and his pregnant wife Lisa suffer a traumatic event, they find themselves haunted — and connected — to a malicious entity. It is only when Adam calls upon Dr. Clark, a professor of parapsychology at the university, that the true horror of what they have encountered becomes clear.”

The key art hints that some sort of evilness either is responsible for the pregnancy or wants the kid once its plopped out. Note to evilness: no matter how the paternity suit fits, you’re looking at 18 years of child support.

Without Name WITHOUT NAME (2017)
“There’s something bizarre and nightmarish waiting in the woods, and its sights are set on Eric, a land surveyor who’s tasked with assessing the woodland area in question just as his marriage is about to crumble. Stressed out by his fractured home life, Eric is tragically susceptible to the woods’ powerful ability to enter the emotionally wounded man’s mind and wreak both physical and mental havoc on him.”

Sounds to me like the “bizarre and nightmarish something” and the guy’s soon-to-be-ex are the same thing. Or it could be a meth-crazed chipmunk. On the fence as to which. Or maybe the woods with its powerful ability to wreak physical and mental havoc is a metaphor for an alcohol-fortified bender in the bushes to celebrate being able to turn on the “open for business” sign again.

Mecha-Eyeball

Posted in Science Fiction with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , on September 15, 2016 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Eyeborgs

The Eyeborgs in Eyeborgs (2009) are the equivalent of intersection traffic cams, but with robotic legs that allow them to find trouble, record it, and send it back to Big Brother. Problem is, the crimes they’re filming aren’t really happening at all. (Classic Republican maneuver.)

Eyeborgs

There are ice chest-sized Eyeborgs and kitchen stove-sized Eyeborgs — and they’re all linked together to bring crime to its knees illegal. This is known as the Freedom of Observation Act (dumb), with the Eyeborgs built and maintained by ODIN (Optical Defense Intelligence Network). Guess who pays for this stuff? (Not me; I’m broke.)

Eyeborgs

A conspirator tries to kill the President’s punk rock nephew and to tell the world that the Eyeborgs are really a part of a bigger political (Republican) agenda. A police detective eventually uncovers the truth (the stinky hippie emo conspiracy guy was right all along), and sets out to correct this incorrectness.

Eyeborgs

The Eyeborgs are kinda cool, but the plot, at times, slows things down to a robotic crawl. Fortunately, a big gun battle between human and robot brings things to a nice, shiny finish. And the President? You’ll have to decide if he was real or just a digital media puppet. Art imitates life.