Archive for cult

Artful Sharks, Southern Fried Zombies, Rioting Girls

Posted in Evil, Foreign Horror, Giant Monsters, Nature Gone Wild, Science Fiction, Sharks, Slashers, Witches, Zombies with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on February 14, 2018 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Meg

Been marveling (again) over the non-official sales art for the upcoming big budget giant shark movie, Meg. Designed by artist David Graham, it’s so cool, the movie studio should just buy it from him and use that to sell the movie. (Not fake news: I posted this very same art in August of 2017 — and I endorse that statement.)

Jaws

While David’s done several work-ups for Meg (in theaters August 10, 2018), the one featured here looks like it was inspired by another artist’s “movie” art. No party foul — when it comes to giant sharks, we’re all aquatic allies.

Speaking of vintage Jaws movie art (official or not), here’s one you may not have seen on dry/sorta wet land…

Jaws

While you avoid getting in the water come August, here are a few upcoming horror/sci-fi movies that may or may not take a big bite out of your life…

Attack of the Southern Fried Zombies

ATTACK OF THE SOUTHERN FRIED ZOMBIES (March 13, 2018)
“Lonnie, a crop duster pilot, must lead a mismatched group of survivors to escape the deadly zombie horde after an experimental chemical, intended to control the invasive kudzu vine, transforms the citizens of Charleston, MS into zombies.”

Did this come out in February of 2017? That’s what IMDB.com is saying. And yet the trailer on YouTube™ and the date on the movie poster itself is claiming March 13, 2018 as its release date. I’m so confused.

He's Out There

HE’S OUT THERE (2018)
“On vacation at a remote lake house, a mother and her two young daughters must fight for survival after falling into a terrifying and bizarre nightmare conceived by a psychopath.”

YET ANOTHER psychopath conceiving nightmares for non-psychopaths. Not sure which orchestra I fall into.

Riot Girls

RIOT GIRLS (2018)
“Set in a world where adults have mysteriously died and resources are scarce, Riot Girls tells the story of a teenage girl who is called to action when her brother is captured by rivals and set to be executed. Joined by the girl who has always loved her, and the boy who wants to love her, the threesome tear through the crumbling suburbs on a violent road marked by sexual discovery, betrayal and brutal justice.”

Cool, but isn’t sexual discovery, betrayal and brutal justice pretty much the same thing anymore?

Darkness Visible

DARKNESS VISIBLE (2018)
“Londoner Ronnie embarks on a journey to India when his mother, Suleka, goes missing and mysteriously ends up in a Kolkata hospital. Before Ronnie can unravel the mystery of what brought his mother back to her homeland, Suleka dies in an apparent cult killing. Further deaths point to a series of past murders that stopped 28 years ago when Suleka left India with her infant son. Until now. As the darkness within Ronnie grows and the murders reach their peak, all roads lead to the feared witch of Kolkata’s insane asylum.”

I’ve been to Kolkata’s insane asylum. They must’ve changed the sign, as it now reads: The Tug Tavern. I did buy one of Kolkata’s T-shirts, though. Their branding looks a heckuva lot like Motorhead’s logo.

Giant Clowns, Demonic Babysitters, Money Storm

Posted in Aliens, Evil, Nature Gone Wild, Science Fiction with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on January 30, 2018 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Pennywise

It’s pretty much box office fact the It (2017) remake was one of the best horror movies of that entire year — if you don’t count the ongoing horror show in the White House. So leave it to talented artist El Mescalito to recreate Pennywise, the movie’s bowel-loosening monster clown, as a 9-foot tall paper mache sculpture. It gets better — you can buy this living room enhancing piece for $4,000.00. And you won’t have to look down any sewer drains to find it; this incredible objet d’art is currently on display in Santa Monica, CA at the Copro Gallery. (Or you can click HERE)

Pennywise

While we’re all racing around the house to find all the pennies we can to buy it, here are a few upcoming horror/sci-fi movies that may or may not belong in a sewer…

The Lullaby

THE LULLABY (March 2, 2018)
Chloe is overwhelmed by the birth of her first child. The incessant crying of her baby, the growing sense of guilt and paranoia sends her into depression. With a heightened urge to protect her son, Chloe sees danger in every situation. She starts to hear voices, the humming of a childhood lullaby and sees flashes of a strange entity around her child. Convinced that the entity is real, Chloe will do everything in her power to protect her son. Is she haunted by evil or is it just the baby blues?”

May not need to see this movie as my neighbors just had a kid and that thing won’t quit power crying, day or night. Got a dirty look when I bumped into the new father and told him he maybe he should feed it every so often to get it to shut the heck up. (It’s a newborn, so I didn’t use the “hell” word.) Then again, maybe there’s an entity in this apartment building stirring up the kid. Other than me, that is.

Hurricane Heist

HURRICANE HEIST (March 9, 2018)
“A team of tech hackers infiltrate a U.S. Mint facility on a small coastal town to steal $102M in cash, just as a disastrous Category 5 hurricane, the storm of the century, is about to strike and level it to the ground. The only other two people left in the town — a meteorologist and a female treasury agent — must survive the horrific storm while stopping the thieves from getting away with the heist of the century.”

Sounds like The Weather Channel’s version of The Fast And The Furious (2001). Sure hope the hurricane doesn’t cause the criminals to “blow” all that money. Heh.

The Endless

THE ENDLESS (March 23, 2018)
“Two brothers return to the death cult from which they fled a decade ago, only to find that there might be some truth to the group’s otherworldly beliefs.”

As social clubs go, death cults aren’t that much fun. That, and they dress weird.

The Body Tree

THE BODY TREE (2018)
“When a group of Americans travel to Russian Siberia to honor the memory of their murdered friend, they uncover a plot that threatens all their lives.”

Man, I know I’ve seen this movie’s poster art before and…oh, wait — now I remember…

Evil Dead

Stock Market Horror, Jealous Ghosts, Cult Rentals

Posted in Classic Horror, Evil, Foreign Horror, Ghosts, Science Fiction with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on January 20, 2018 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Horror Equity Fund

Do you have an HEF in your investment portfolio? If not, you might consider it. Why? HEF is an acronym for Horror Equity Fund, Inc.™ (Film & Entertainment Investment Platform), a way to invest in the horror genre and to build your future on all things entertainment scary.

Horror Equity Fund

The mission statement from Marlon Schulman, Founder and CEO of Horror Equity Fund: “Today, we are experiencing a new golden era in Horror entertainment. Our model establishes a cross-collateralized, diversified portfolio that mitigates risk and subsequently increases the opportunity for the highest return on investment. HEF curates, develops, and accelerates to market projects in film, television, virtual reality, augmented reality, live presentations, publishing, video gaming, merchandising, Internet, and other transmedia categories, creating a unique portfolio of profit participation.”

“Though the commitment to Horror and Thriller entertainment is thriving, the world of Horror has lacked a community where they can find one another, participate in and profit from this popular genre. Horror Equity Fund offers those fans, content creators and investors transparency, honesty, integrity and one of the deepest creative benches in Horror.”

“Fans, Content Creators, and Investors will begin to experience the benefits of HEF and immediately participate in the Mutual Fund of Horror.”

Horror Equity Fund

Man, I can’t wait to invest, once I look under the couch cushions and relieve my virtual piggy bank of all its precious bit coins. At $100 minimum investment/$1 per share (I’ll have to go without beer for one day), this seems like a no-brainer. And if there’s anything I’m good at, it’s being a no-brainer. This is a crowd-funding venture, so check out their highly impressive website for your guide to banking on all things horror: CLICK HERE.

While you’re doing your Wizard of Wall Street thing, here are a few upcoming horror/sci-fi TV and movies waiting for you to invest in your couch…

Ash vs. Evil Dead

ASH vs. EVIL DEAD/SEASON 3 (February 25/Starz™)
Bruce Campbell leads the cast, reprising the role of Ash Williams; Lucy Lawless, as Ruby, devises her most diabolical plan to defeat Ash and raise Hell on earth; Ray Santiago as Pablo Simon Bolivar, forever loyal to Jefe (Ash), will realize his true destiny in the battle against evil; and Dana DeLorenzo as Kelly Maxwell, whose single goal is to kill Ruby and end the Evil Dead torment once and for all.”

Disclaimer: I previously plugged this and used the same art. What a lazy ass, am I. Just excited for season three, is all. A great day when you can turn on the television and see evil run wild. (Not referring to Republicans and/or politicians in general.) Ash vs. Evil Dead is incredibly gore gooshy, fun, funny and a highly addictive (for me, anyway) TV adaptation. Guess where I’ll be on February 25?

The Housemaid

THE HOUSEMAID (February 16, 2018)
Vietnam, 1953: Linh, a poor, orphaned young woman, finds employment as a housemaid in a crumbling rubber plantation presided over by the emotionally fragile French officer Sebastien Laurent. Soon, a torrid love affair develops between the two — a taboo romance that rouses the ghost of Laurent’s dead wife, who won’t rest until blood flows. Submerged in moody Gothic atmosphere, this stylish supernatural saga confronts the dark shadows of Vietnam’s colonial past while delivering heart-stopping scares.”

Great — a jealous female ghost.  Hell hath no fury, blah, blah, blah. When you’re on the receiving end of a female — back from the dead or otherwise — hellbent on jealous revenge, best to disappear yourself.

House of Demons

HOUSE OF DEMONS (February 2018)
Gwen, Matthew, Katrina, and Spencer were best friends for years, until a terrible tragedy tore them apart, and left all of them in a state of arrested development. Ten years later, they’re reunited for a destination wedding to stay together in a rented house. What they don’t know is in the late ’60s, the house was home to a Manson Family-like cult, run by Frazer, a charismatic former scientist pushing the boundaries of human consciousness. Over the course of one long night, everyone must confront their darkness or be destroyed by it.”

I wonder if when renting houses, cults pay first and last and a damage deposit, as well as having their credit history checked? (Note to cults — if you have a pet, be prepared to pay extra.)

Demon House

DEMON HOUSE (March 16, 2018)
“As mass hysteria breaks out over an alleged demonic possession in an Indiana home referred to as a ‘Portal to Hell,’ Ghost Adventures host and paranormal investigator Zak Bagans buys the house, sight unseen, over the phone. He and his crew then become the next victims of the most documented case of demonic possession in US history…the ‘House of 200 Demons.’”

200 demons living under one roof? Good luck getting in some bathroom time. And if your turn is next, keep a can of Glade™ handy. “Hell” and “smell” rhyme for a reason.

Aliens R Us, Cookie-Selling Bigfoot, Religious Ghosts

Posted in Aliens, Bigfoot, Evil, Ghosts, Giant Monsters, Nature Gone Wild, Science Fiction with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on November 4, 2017 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Aliens

Recently came across a tantalizing click-bait headline that all but begged me to reach for the hook: The article by Yahoo! News UK had this to say: “Here’s what aliens will really look like, according to science…” Score!

An excerpt of the article: “In a new study published in the International Journal of Astrobiology scientists from the University of Oxford say that aliens will be shaped by the same natural selection that shaped us.”

And here’s the illustration they provided to support that theory…

Aliens

Dang — it’s like looking into a mirror! While I comb my tentacles to match that of my space brethren, here are a few just released and upcoming horror/sci-fi movies/documentaries that may or may not feature extraterrestrial doppelgangers

Mountain Devil

MOUNTAIN DEVIL (available now)
“Based on the true events that occurred in the Appalachian Mountains, Mountain Devil recounts the frightening events of the night Frank Peterson and his friend spent the night in a secluded cabin stalked by something they could not explain. With only a few clues and journal entries we try to piece together the shocking events, and attempt to shed insight into one of the greatest mysteries of our time.”

This isn’t a movie, but a re-enactment “documentary” of the experience of two guys being heckled by a Sasquatch. Turn on the logic switch, people — was it really Bigfoot pranking these campers or were they being stalked by cookie-selling Girl Scouts? Hedging my bets here, so I’m gonna say both. I should’ve been a politician.

Hunters' Crossing

HUNTERS’ CROSSING (available now)
Hank Williams, an amateur hunter, teams up with Bigfoot hunter, Trevor Farleys, and an aging bear slayer, Willis Hampton, to sabotage a crazed hunter and win a local hunting competition.”

Aging bear slayer. I shall require a T-shirt with that printed on it. The press release, however, does not say what everyone’s supposed to be hunting. Is it a bear or Bigfoot? While some may think they’re one in the same (they’re not), the bigger question is what’s the prize for winning said hunting competition? I’d prefer bit coins, but would settle for the above mentioned T-shirt.

Transhuman

TRANSHUMAN (available now)
“A young journalist travels into the underbelly of a transhumanist cult, spanning generations leading back to the Nazis during World War II.”

Great movie title, though I’ve heard bartenders use that term to describe some of their more “colorful” clientele during last call. As for the Nazis, you guys are just plain mean.

St. Agatha

ST. AGATHA (2018)
“Set in the 1950s in small town Georgia, where a pregnant con woman named Agatha is on the run and seeks refuge in a convent hidden in deafening isolation. What first starts out as the perfect place to have a child turns into a dark layer where silence is forced, ghastly secrets are masked, and every bit of will power Agatha has is tested. She soon learns the sick and twisted truth of the convent and the odd people that lurk inside its halls. Agatha must now find a way to discover the unyielding strength needed to escape and save her baby before she’s caged behind these walls forever.”

Sounds like a healthy smidge of 2004’s Saint Ange (aka, House of Voices). As ghost movies go, that was one of the better offerings. The basement scene will have you needing to re-mop the convent floors.

Social Media Demons, Slashing Santas, Shower Power

Posted in Evil, Foreign Horror, Ghosts, Misc. Horror, Scream Queens, Slashers with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on October 12, 2017 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Ash Vs. Evil Dead

New teaser art for the upcoming season three of Ash vs. Evil Dead, one of the fun/funniest/goriest shows on the ‘ol  Magnavox™. The 10-episode season launches on Sunday, February 25, 2018 at 9PM ET/PT on Starz™. Sunday’s are usually my night to stay in and wash my hair. But I can out it off for a week to see Ash buzz through demons with his chainsaw arm.

Ash Vs. Evil Dead

From the press release: “Ash vs Evil Dead Season 3 finds Ash’s status in Elk Grove, Michigan has changed from murderous urban legend to humanity-saving hometown hero. When Kelly witnesses a televised massacre with Ruby’s fingerprints all over it, she returns with a new friend to warn Ash and Pablo that evil isn’t done with them yet. Blood is thicker than water in the battle of good vs Evil Dead!”

While we impatiently wait five more months, here are a few just released/upcoming horror and sci-fi movies that may or may not lube your chainsaw, metaphorical or otherwise…

BnB Hell

BnB HELL (available now)
“A young woman’s hunt for her missing sister ends at a rundown bed and breakfast in the Hollywood Hills run by an ill-tempered woman called Mommy. Disturbing messages left by former guests suggest unsettling secrets lay buried there.”

Was only a matter of time before the BnB craze became the framework for horror. Already done using the Uber™/Lyft™ model with Ryde (2017): “Technology brings us closer. Or perhaps it brings strangers a little too close. But how much can you really trust someone? With a new ride share service, you never know who you’ll be getting in a car with. Or if you’ll ever get out.” Not a good way to get tips or a clickable star rating. Still, better than the city bus and/or taxis.

Devil's Night

DEVIL’S NIGHT (available now/VOD)
“Daniel, a charismatic teen from a broken home, wants nothing more than to get out of the trailer park. After scraping together just enough money to buy a video camera, he begins making YouTube™ videos in the hope that his antics will lead him to a better life. But when his videos fail to catch on and all his friends leave for college, Daniel’s left all alone. Undeterred, he discovers an old documentary about a serial killer who brutally murdered seven people in a satanic sacrifice not too far from his hometown. Thinking this might be his last chance for success, he decides to film a video in the killer’s house, only to summon an evil worse than anything he could have possibly imagined.”

Good idea — go into a killer’s house of evil with a camera. There’s a reason demons don’t take selfies. And since when are dumbass antics broadcast on social media a career path? Teens be dumb.

78/52

78/52 (October 13, 207)
“An unprecedented look at the iconic shower scene in Alfred Hitchcock’s Psycho (1960), the ‘man behind the curtain,’ and the screen murder that profoundly changed the course of world cinema.”

They’re correct — that one scene, which even has college courses dedicated to it, all but defined modern horror movies, scream queensslashers and screechy violin music. I once had a Psycho shower scene shirt — it read: “Wash all of life’s problems down the drain.” That’s not just funny, but LOL funny.

Apocalypse Cult

APOCALYPSE CULT (October, 2017/VOD/DVD)
“While investigating the legend of a mysterious group of people living in the forest, a local news crew comes across an all-too-real doomsday cult. Trapped in their grasp, the news crew must find a way to escape before they execute their final act of devotion.”

This one actually came out in Australia, home of giant bouncing rabbits, back in 2014. Don’t know why it took so long to get here in the States. Maybe the Land Down Under was dealing with their plague of kid-eating dingos and mosh pit razorbacks. That’s a  good excuse as any. Note to self: plan vacation to Australia and taunt nature after drinking multiple cans of XXXX Gold 12.4% beer.

Once Upon A Time At Christmas

ONCE UPON A TIME AT CHRISTMAS (December 12, 2017/DVD)
“Meet Santa and Mrs. Claus: he’s a one-eyed fiend, she’s a curvy, bat-swinging blonde. This serial killer couple is terrorizing the holidays in an upstate New York town with a series of horrific homicides. Though the victims seem random — a mall Santa, a smooching couple, an innocent family — high-schooler Jennifer and clever cop Sam begin to unravel the sinister pattern behind the slayings. Can they stop the murders before Christmas comes — and there’s no one left to celebrate?”

Diggin’ the twist: Santa and his dame are serial killers. But I have a few questions: like how many gangsta elves are in their employ? Does this mean their getaway car is a reindeer-fueled sled? Are candy canes used as stabby tools of the trade? Can’t wait for Christmas.

Religious Fireballs

Posted in Misc. Horror, Nature Gone Wild, Science Fiction with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on September 13, 2017 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Believers

In Believers (2007), YET ANOTHER cult wants to save your soul and take you to the other side of the galaxy where your unconditional faith will be rewarded with immortality. And to purify your soul, you must first enter the Gas Chamber of Salvation and divest yourself of all your earthly belongings: your KISS™ t-shirt and your life (which for SOME of us is the same thing).

Believers

The cult, lead by an older scientist-y looking fart, has convinced two dozen people he cracked the code, the one that proves God’s existence. (And here all this time we were worshiping the Bible instead of a math book. I am SO going to Hell.) It is further explained that everyone left behind will suffer total destruction via fire from the sky. (Whoever is planning on lighting candles and tossing ’em off your roof — not funny.)

Believers

Two paramedics are taken hostage by cult members. Locked in the Reflection Room (dirty bathroom stall with no toilet paper), their choices are to become one of the Believers and be saved from the fireballs, or be forced to take a death pill that also doubles as a breath mint.

Believers

One chooses poison, probably because it tastes better than gas chamber vapors. Everyone is locked into a room and the gas turned on. The medic pulls himself free from his cult handcuffs and force vomits the pill. Whew! Too late to rescue his buddy, though.

Believers

Jump ahead a month and the little girl lives with him and his wife in their sunny home and… Hmmm, the sky seems extra brighter today. Must be all those fireballs.

Alien Walkie-Talkie, Alaskan Ghosts, Chick Werewolf

Posted in Aliens, Evil, Ghosts, Nature Gone Wild, Science Fiction, Slashers, UFOs, Werewolves with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on July 26, 2017 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

UFO Journals

“If these are intelligent beings from outer space, they couldn’t be too intelligent if they’re visiting the planet Earth.”

Truer words were never spoken. This statement comes from the 1978 documentary, UFO Journals, which is (and this is gonna sound oxymoronic), one of the more weird and wackified treatments of the flying saucer phenomenon.

It starts with some narrator yappin’ bible verses, then goes into a bunch of stock footage of NASA rockets, then — and these are my two favorite parts — a guy with impeccably blow-dried and styled hair going into an eye-rolling trance and channeling communications from an alien in a different solar system. And he does it with a cartoon-y robotic voice. Then there’s a New Age spiritual guide who whips out a harmonica and a shot glass and entertains us with his skills while we contemplate WTF it is we’re watching. This is on Amazon Prime™ in case you need more wackified fulfillment about UFOs in your robotic, restricted-to-Earth life.

And speaking of things to enlighten you, here are a few upcoming horror and sci-fi movies/TV shows to channel on your channel…

Three Tears on Bloodstained Flesh

THREE TEARS ON BLOODSTAINED FLESH (August 8, 2017/DVD)
“A man with a dark past returns to bury his niece Lexie. Dragging his troubled daughter Kendall, he simultaneously reunites with his estranged sister, Stella and reignites a past rivalry with the corrupt town sheriff. Dominic begins digging around the town, and uncovers the town’s dark secrets, which include a mysterious cult, a supernatural curse, a masked killer, and a very high body count.”

Reunite and reignite. Maybe the masked killer is a pyromaniac. Wondering what the supernatural curse could be? Maybe it’s because the guy buried his niece before she quit breathing the town’s dark secret air.

Red Christmas

RED CHRISTMAS (October 17, 2017/Limited/VOD)
“The stressed-out mother of a squabbling family are gathered together in a remote Outback estate on Christmas Eve. When a mysterious, deformed young man named Cletus appears at their door, things soon change from petty insults to bloody, imaginatively orchestrated violence as she attempts to protect her family from the vengeful intruder. The film deliriously infuses comedy, dark family secrets with outlandish gore and adds the always controversial subject of abortion in its blood-stained mix.”

Wow, they actually named someone Cletus. I guess when you live in the remote Outback, you do whatever honks your didgeridoo. I like the outlandish gore part, though. It better not involve kangaroos (the locals call them “‘roos”). Those things can eat your face right off your face.

Ghost Wars

GHOST WARS (SyFy Channel/2017)
“Set in a remote Alaskan town that has been overrun by paranormal forces, the series focuses on local outcast Roman Mercer who must overcome the town’s prejudices and his own personal demons if he’s to harness his repressed psychic powers and save everyone from the mass haunting that’s threatening to destroy them all.”

While I do like the title of this series, the trailer looks very paranormal stock and doesn’t really sell one on the subject. Maybe if they added a kangaroo…

Betsy

BETSY (2018)
“After surviving a vicious assault in the city, Betsy moves to the country in hopes of starting over, but as she begins to recover, something begins clawing its way into the moonlight.”

They give it away with “clawing” and “moonlight”; Betsy is a raccoon! Man, I feel sorry for anyone who tries to pet her. Those things will eat your hand right off your hand.