Psycho Makers, Pyscho Santa, Psycho Dolls

Alfred Hitchcock’s studied horror classic Psycho, with its infamous shower scene that became ground zero for splatter movies, was released in 1960 and remains the most commercially successful film of his career. (Fun fact: Hitchcock personally earned in excess of $15 million from Psycho. He then swapped his rights to Psycho and his TV anthology for 150,000 shares of MCA™, making him the third largest shareholder in MCA Inc.™, and his own boss at Universal™.) So inevitably, as Hollywood has always done, if it’s successful, then milk that cow twice as hard for a sequel.

Hence, Psycho II, which came out in 1983, has a bare bones, but intriguing plot: “After 22 years of psychiatric care, Norman Bates attempts to return to a life of solitude, but the specters of his crimes — and his mother — continue to haunt him.” The film grossed $34.7 million at the box office on a budget of $5 million, and received mixed-to-positive reviews from film critics. While The Washington Post and The New York Times wiped their asinine opinions on it, Christopher John, in Ares Magazine (#15), wrote that “The real importance of Psycho II rests in its originality. Refusing to be just a blood-letting free-for-all, the picture goes to great lengths to create an entirely new story”. Now, 40 years later, there’s more to Psycho II that remains to be word barfed.

Screenwriter/director and now author, Tom Holland (Fright Night, Child’s Play, The Langoliers, Thinner) has put together his own recollections of writing and directing Psycho II. From the book’s press release: “Step behind the iconic Bates Motel’s eerie facade and delve into the mesmerizing world of film-making with the fascinating behind-the-scenes story of the making of Psycho II. From conception to release, unearth the untold story of the making of ‘the sequel that should never be made’, with recollections from director Richard Franklin, screenwriter Tom Holland and editor Andrew London. Oh Mother, What Have You Done? unveils the memories of casting, set design, and the evolution of the movie from script to screen.”

So while we all take a stab (heh) at reading Oh Mother, What Have You Done? by clicking this, here are a few out now/upcoming horror/sci-fi movies that may or may not be favorable reviewed by The Washington Post and The New York Times…

MARY CHERRY CHUA / Out now (Philippines), Release pending US (VOD)

“A popular and rich high school student is carnally assaulted and murdered by a deranged school janitor. The next morning, her corpse was found on campus by some shocked fellow students. Karen has an obsession with horror stories and urban legends. She hears about the legend of Mary Cherry Chua and decides she wants to investigate what happened.”

They already told you what happened in the first sentence. Get a life.

SANTA ISN’T REAL / December 8, 2023 (VOD)

“After suffering a brutal attack on Christmas eve, Nikki, a young woman, struggles to convince her friends that the assailant was none other than Ol’ Kris Kringle. When Santa returns to terrorize the group in their remote cabin the next Christmas, Nikki and her friends must overcome disbelief as they fight to stay alive.”

Santa Claus, or “Kris Kringle” (that sounds like a heavily-salted snack treat), has been a criminal for thousands of years. Let’s start with home invasion and go from there.

YU YU HAKUSHO / December 14, 2023 (Netflix™)

Yusuke Urameshi, who spends his days getting into fights, dies in an accident while trying to protect a young child. As he grapples with the fact that he is looking down on his dead body, a woman named Botan who calls herself a guide to the spirit world relays to him the shocking truth: no one expected a delinquent like Yusuke to die performing an act of goodness, and there was no place for him in either Heaven or Hell. Thus, Yusuke is given a chance to be revived, and after passing his trial, he becomes an Underworld Detective. From there, Yusuke becomes entwined in a mystery that envelopes the human, demon and spirit worlds.”

I liked this better when it was called Constantine (2005).

BARBENHEIMER / Release pending 2024 (Amazon Prime Video™, FullMoonFeatures.com™)

“Dr. Bambi J Barbenheimer, is a brilliant scientist doll living in Dolltopia, a world of endless summers and beach parties, and her boyfriend Twink Dollman. Dr. Barbenheimer, incensed by the brutal treatment the dolls receive at the hands of human children, ventures into the real world, where she experiences humanity at its worst and, naturally, decides to build a giant nuclear bomb to take it all out. They got great looks and a super attitude! Oh, and now they’ve got the bomb.”

Building a giant nuclear bomb to take out the human world. I think they’re onto something.

Cthulhu Condiments, Supernaturally Nude, Demonic Cookies

Fans of H.P. Lovecraft, Cthulhu and hot sauce can rejoice. Portland, OR-based ArkhamBazaar.com, home of all things H.P. Lovecraft/Cthulhu, has just released three themed pepper sauces. (They also sell Cthulhu shirts, books, patches, video collections, coffee mugs, pins, jewelry and more.) Pretty much one-stop shopping for all things Great Old Ones. 

These sauces, which can be purchased separately, in bundles of three ($17.98), or combined with a shirt with the same label art ($29.99), come in these flavors/heat signatures: Cthulhu Mind Flayer Pepper Sauce ($9.99), The King in Yellow Hastur Habanero Pepper Sauce ($9.99), and Unhallowed Jalapeño Dagon Pepper Sauce ($9.99). They also sell Cthulhu Cosmic Wing Sauce ($13.99), which pairs nicely with fried calamari. (You got that joke, yes?)

So while we load up our cupboards with more boutique hot sauce we’ll never use (click this), here are a few upcoming horror/sci-fi movies that may or may not be improved with spicy condiments… 

BRING HER TO ME / October 27, 2023 (FullMoonFeatures.com)

“A sensual new tale of supernatural terror, where reality and nightmares collide…with deadly consequences. A woman is plagued by nightmares about traveling to a dark realm and a demonic entity that awaits her arrival. With the help of a friend, she consults a dream interpreter to end the nightmares, only to find that no one is who they seem and the real horror is about to begin.”

Warning: This one contains a LOT of female nudity. Therefore you should probably avoid it.

CORA / October 28, 2023 (VOD)

“After a deadly mist has wiped out most of humanity, a mysterious organization is trying to save what’s left of humankind.”

What’s the point? The only benefit of a humanity-ending apocalypse is more available parking.

DEVIL’S BANQUET / November 16, 2023 (Indonesia), Release pending 2023/2024 (US)

Husband and wife Kala and Radit live happily with their only child, Bima. One day, their happiness slowly disappears after they have to go to Radit’s old house because his long-lost mother was found to have mysteriously committed suicide. The inexplicable death of the grandmother causes the family to experience terror by creatures beyond reason. And strangely, all the terror was aimed at their child. The thought of leaving was the best way to save Bima. However, they never thought that it was just the beginning of a series of nightmares that would soon occur and that the dark secret behind their grandmother’s death was related to the rise of a demonic figure.”

Also known as Perjamuan Iblis, which in Indonesia means “demon-invoking grandmas may be evil…but they make good cookies.”

VARIANT / November 17, 2023 (China), Release pending 2023/2024 (US)

“In 2050, the Dishi Biotechnology Company hires the spaceship Thunder God to search for an alien creature called Bali. On their way back to Earth, the captain’s son Jamie accidentally releases Bali, which immediately kills almost everyone on board. Only Jamie and the crew member Kirk survive. Twenty years later, alien creatures keep invading Earth and injuring humans. Doctor Joy recognizes Jamie in an operation and takes him back to the laboratory. Kirk appears in the laboratory and cruelly tells Jamie how he used his curiosity to release Bali and kill the crew on the space station. Meanwhile, the monster Bali breaks free and goes on a rampage at the laboratory base. Jamie wakes up from his nightmare and decides to take revenge. A life-and-death battle for the fate of humanity begins.”

I liked this better when it was called Alien (1979).