Archive for H.P. Lovecraft

Finnish Superheroes, Hitler Dinosaurs, Vampire Neighbors

Posted in Evil, Fantasy, Foreign Horror, Misc. Horror, Nature Gone Wild, Science Fiction, UFOs, Vampires, Zombies with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on May 17, 2017 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Rendel

Been watching the new Marvel™ TV series Iron Fist on Netflix™. There are good aspects and some so bad it causes involuntary facial flinching. Daniel Rand, introduced as a kid who lost his corporate rich mom and dad in a relaxing vacation plane wreck over the Himalayas, is rescued by invisible monks and raised for the next 15 years to be the next Iron Fist, solely designed to wipe out the evil gang, The Hand. They beat him with sticks every day to reinforce their clenched mandate.

15 years later he shows up unexpectedly in downtown New York as a shoeless street bum (with hipster beard and an iPod™), trying to reconnect with his dad’s company. (He’s an heir worth billions and yet can’t afford socks, matching or otherwise.)

All of this I can get behind except they make him say and do stupid things. (Really bad chi-generating meditation moves and stilted kung-fu reference dialogue.) Worst, they give him a lava glowing fist that, when he’s provoked by violence, lights up and he can punch criminals and/or walls right in the sheet rock. Walls pretty much deserve it because they impede proper feng shui. Stupid walls.

All in all, mildly entertaining, but a surprising misstep by Marvel™, whose only blemish on a stellar track record has been The Fantastic Four. (Note to Marvel — PLEASE quite trying to make that one work. No one gives a crap about a guy who can stretch like a rubber band and another one who looks like passed kidney stones.)

Speaking of things to pass on, here are a few upcoming horror and sci-fi movies that may or may not need to be medically assisted to leave your body…

RENDEL (2017)
“A dark avenger is born when a worldwide corporation known as VALA launches an untested vaccine called Nh25 into the market by bribing, threatening, and killing every official opposing them.

Rendel unleashes his own special kind of hell against VALA, threatening to put an end the distribution of Nh25 As blood spills and the money burns, VALA recruits a group of mercenaries to do what they seemingly can’t, eliminate Rendel permanently.”

Rendel is Finland’s first superhero movie. About time they jumped on the bandwagon. Heck, I’m filming my own superhero movie as we speak: Yell Man: Neighbor Wars (pending $10 million crowd-funding.) Sounds like Rendel is a cross between Spawn (1997) and, well, me (I have a suit just like his, so you can see why people would make the connection. And by people, I mean me.) Despite a personal affront, looking forward to this one.

Living Among Us

LIVING AMONG US (2017)
“A documentary crew is sent in to interview a family of vampires whose existence has been made known to the world. But soon the crew realizes their very lives are in danger as they uncover a deadly secret and must fight for survival.”

Sounds like they took the framework of Fright Night (1985) and went to town with it. So vampires are living next door. Might be time to order some garlic polo shirts and Internet-ordered wooden stakes and go door-to-door because now I’m thinking those aren’t just a-holes living next to me, but bloodsucking a-holes.

Iron Sky: The Coming Race

IRON SKY: THE COMING RACE (February 14, 2018)
“Twenty years after the events of Iron Sky, the former Nazi Moonbase has become the last refuge of mankind. Earth was devastated by a nuclear war, but buried deep under the wasteland lies a power that could save the last of humanity — or destroy it once and for all. The truth behind the creation of mankind will be revealed when an old enemy leads our heroes on an adventure into the Hollow Earth. To save humanity they must fight the Vril, an ancient shape-shifting reptilian race and their army of dinosaurs.”

You can look but you may not find anything as crazy cool as Iron Sky (2012). And now with it’s sequel (which I e-barfed about on November 11, 2014) is within release sight. The new trailer shows a reanimated Hitler riding a T-Rex like it was a hobby horse, looking to re-take the world from the inside out. (Turns out those hollow Earthers were right. My apologies.) Consider putting Iron Sky: The Coming Race on your to-do/bucket list.

Lovecraft_Country

LOVECRAFT COUNTRY (HBO/in-production)
“After his father goes missing, Black joins up with his friend Letitia and his Uncle George to embark on a road trip across 1950s Jim Crow America to find him. This begins a struggle to survive and overcome both the racist terrors of white America and the malevolent spirits that could be ripped from a Lovecraft paperback.”

Racists and dark god entities. And how does this differ from the current political administration? You’ve already seen this — every night on the news.

Physician to the Mutants

Posted in Classic Horror, Evil, Nature Gone Wild, Science Fiction with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on February 4, 2016 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Deep in the Darkness

Deep in the Darkness (2014) is a creature horror feature adapted from the 2004 book of the same name (what are the odds?) by Michael Laimo.

Lurking Fear

While Laimo has stated his novel was influenced by the 1973 horror movie Don’t Be Afraid of the Dark, it really smells more like H.P. Lovecraft’s short story The Lurking Fear (1922), which was fitted for VHS in 1994 by Full Moon Entertainment as Lurking Fear.

Lurking Fear is about mutant humanoid creatures – which lurked pretty cool – living underneath a church-sanctioned graveyard. Holy holes!

Bleeders / Dark Heritage

And since we’re digging deep in the darkness (aka, my soul), the 1997 Canadian horror movie Bleeders (aka, Hemoglobin), is another take on the H.P. Lovecraft story about sub-dwelling mutant-esque creatures (aka, the Van Dam family) who have become deformed and bloodthirsty from centuries of inbreeding.

Then there’s the obscure Dark Heritage: The Final Descendant (1989), which is also (unofficially) adapted from H.P. Lovecraft’s story.

Whew – I thought I was gonna have a Scanners (1981) exploding head moment trying to get that all out.

Scanners

Now that you know the premise, Deep In The Darkness, using the above as a business model, has a big town (Manhattan)  doctor moving to a small town (New Hampshire) that harbors an icky secret: mutated creatures living in caves in the woods.

Deep in the Darkness

A really small town (population: 1,700+), New Hampshire seems caught in time and doesn’t even have cable TV. (How do they live?!?) But as Dr. Michael Cayle acclimates to life without television, he discovers the dirty secret – there are creatures called Isolates infesting the town.

Deep in the Darkness

But these ick creatures have a Martial Law resolute: They control the entire town and demand sacrifices in exchange for allowing people to live. Okay, why isn’t anybody calling U-Haul™ and getting the ick outta there?

Deep in the Darkness

As the doctor is a medical dude, the grunt-and-growling man-creatures capture him and take him into their cave hole to help a female ick creature give birth. Upfront I’ll just say a muddy cave used for living space and bathroom-y stuff is the farthest distance from a sterile medical environment as you can get this side of a Manhattan sewer.

Deep in the Darkness

The creatures kill citizens in gory fashion and go all out to keep the doctor from fleeing with his wife and kid. Even so, Deep In The Darkness is a “meh” movie experience despite the ick factor. Pretty much the same with the aforementioned movies. Read H.P. Lovecraft’s story instead and avoid the sewer.

Monopolizing Horror

Posted in Classic Horror, Fantasy, Zombies with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on October 10, 2015 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Cthulhu Monopoly

Movie and TV themed Monopoly™ games have been around for years. And while the graphics get slicked up, game play is still the classic “buy/sell/buy/go to jail.” (It’s almost a certainty that whoever ends up owning Boardwalk and Park Place and built hotels on ’em will win every time. Unless you’re like me and load up on utilities. Hey, I had insider information…)

My dubious financial acumen aside, Monopoly™ has been around since the early 1900s (with the first Parker Brothers version coming out in 1933), and is the most popular and successful board game of all time, making about one trillion dollars a year. Give or take.

Cthulhu

So no big surprise that Entertainment Earth™ is offering limited themed editions of the game, the latest being Cthulhu Monopoly™, based on the dark workings of horror forefather, H.P. Lovecraft. Check out this action…

“Set foot for Miskatonic University, and battle it out with other Cthulhu occultists to find out who truly is the Great Old One among you. This Cthulhu Collector’s Edition Monopoly™ game features fun Cthulhu and H.P. Lovecraftian style imagery, plus game tokens straight from the Cthulhu mythos. The winner of Cthulhu Monopoly™ shall be deemed most like the Great Old One and the most fit to inherit his mantle. Whether you win or not, you lose and become one of Cthulhu’s mindless zombies.”

I must own this game, no matter what. You – and me – can pre-order now for a December 2015 release for only $39.99. (Good thing it isn’t $40.00 as I need that coin to invest in railroads.)

The Walking Dead Monopoly

And for fans of more zombies, there’s The Walking Dead™ edition Monopoly™. Instead of going to jail on a bad dice roll, you get your face eaten off. Neat!

Squishy Horror

Posted in Aliens, Classic Horror, Nature Gone Wild, Science Fiction with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , on September 3, 2015 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

The Dark Below

Don’t you hate it when you’re out deep sea diving in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean shopping for succulent breakfast clams, when your quest is interrupted by an unearthly creature? Man, that just sucks.

But that’s just what happened to Olive, a young marine biologist in the upcoming horror sci-fi movie, The Dark Below. But it’s not like the unearthly underwater creature just swam up to her and hopped into her to-go bag. Nope, there was a traumatic accident not related to eating bad clams.

The Dark Below

So she smuggles the monster home with every intent to study it, feed it, probably give it a cuddly name like Squishy and have someone/something to talk to besides her boyfriend. As the movie’s press release tells us, “Whilst struggling to re-adjust to landlocked life and recover from her recent trauma, Olive begins to realize that she and the creature share a symbiotic bond that drives her to carry out its sinister will.”

Sounds groovy, but it gets better…

“Plagued by gruesome nightmares, her fractured memories of what happened during the accident in the depths of the ocean begin to unravel and reveal an eldritch horror far older and malevolent than she could ever imagine, one which she has unwittingly set free. Olive’s obsession leads to madness as her discovery consumes her entire humanity, with deadly results for those around her.”

The Dark Below

An eldritch horror – that term means weird and sinister or ghostly and, as it’s inspired by H.P. Lovecraft, suggests the creature is gonna be all tentacle-y ’n stuff. (It could be a mutant clam with, like, five arms or something.) Just gonna have to wait – The Dark Below’s website says its coming out in 2016. Dang – I might be sober by then.

The Dark Below

P.S. Don’t confuse The Dark Below with The Dark Below, another underwater horror sci-fi movie with the same title coming out sometime in 2015/2016. I wrote about it on June 15, 2015. As I recall, the seas were rough that day…