Archive for Tokyo

Godzilla = Winzilla

Posted in Asian Horror, Asian Sci-Fi, Classic Horror, Foreign Horror, Giant Monsters, Godzilla, Nature Gone Wild, Science Fiction with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on March 9, 2017 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Shin Godzilla

With a mere four Oscars™, the gore slasher flick La La Land (2016) has nothing on Shin Godzilla (2016), which stomped away with SEVEN Japan Academy Prizes in Tokyo on March 2, 2017.

Shin Godzilla

Besides pocketing over $72 million fun coupons, which converts to over eight BILLION yen, Shin Godzilla snagged the awards for Best Picture and Best Director. I should’ve been for nominated for Best Fan. Since Godzilla has so many awards, maybe he’ll let me have one. That, or scrunch me into sidewalk paste.

Shin Godzilla

And to make your day even better than it was before you read that last sentence, Shin Godzilla is releasing here in the States on March 22, 2017. There’s a plus and minus to this joyous news: Comicbook.com reports that it won’t contain English sub-titles. (Toho™, who owns every radioactive/copyrighted particle of Godzilla’s DNA, is notorious for this jerk maneuver.)

Shin Godzilla

However, Funimation™, located in Flower Mound, Texas (that town name sounds naughty for some reason), will be releasing Shin Godzilla with all the pronounceable bells and whistles in October of 2017. The price? Who cares? It’s Godzilla, man! Even at eight billion yen, it’ll still be a bargain.

Detrimental Robots

Posted in Asian Horror, Foreign Horror, Misc. Horror with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , on February 20, 2017 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Marebito

After filming a suicide in Tokyo’s killing field (the subway system), cameraman Masuoka is drawn back to the scene for more answers. Upon replaying the footage, he notices that just seconds before the man stuck a knife into his forehead, he was looking at something — and that something scared the life outta him. Well, that and the knife.

Marebito

Intriguing set-up for the Japanese horror flick, Marebito (2006). Masuoka finds a door that leads to a vast subterranean labyrinth where the Detros (a contraction of detrimental robots) live. They’re eerie, white creatures who make people stab themselves in the head. He encounters a young naked gal chained to a wall. She can’t talk, but that doesn’t stop Masuoka from asking her out on a date. He takes her home and tries to feed her, but she keeps barfing all over the place. That’ll teach him to use Match.com™ to screen potential girlfriends.

MarebitoThe girl is drawn to Masuoka’s bleeding finger and sucks on it like a Tootsie Pop™. Instead of feeding her with his own liquid, Masuoka sets the dinner table with dead animals. If you’re thinkin’ yum, too, then we’re on the same wavelength. But the girl needs human blood. Masuoka goes so far as to slice his own tongue in half and feed it to her. Even though it looks like she’s kissing him, she’s really just removing the blood out of his face. Still, ick.

Marebito

But like all good love stories, it must come to a grisly end. So was it all in Masuoka’s crazed, Prozac™-deprived head, and that he really murdered his wife, and the mute girl was his daughter whom he kept chained like a dangerous pettable animal? Or are there really eerie white creatures living beneath Tokyo in huge caves? I’m going with the Detros.

And the Award Goes To…Godzilla!

Posted in Asian Horror, Asian Sci-Fi, Classic Horror, Foreign Horror, Giant Monsters, Godzilla, Nature Gone Wild, Science Fiction with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on January 18, 2017 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Add an Oscar to Godzilla’s list of accomplishments. It was just announced Shin Godzilla (2016) has been nominated for Best Picture in the Japanese Academy Awards (aka, The Japan Academy Prize). Okay, so Godzilla hasn’t won it yet, but how could it not happen? For those of us lucky enough to have seen it, Shin Godzilla is the Citizen Kane (1941) of giant monster movies.

Japanese Academy Prize

Besides being the highest-grossing live-action Japanese movie of 2016, Shin Godzilla racked up a staggering 11 nominations in all: Best Picture, Best Director, Best Actor, Best Supporting Actress, Best Music, Best Cinematography, Best Art Direction, Best Lighting Direction, Best Sound Recording and Best Film Editing. They left out one: Best Poop Yer Pants Awesome Destruction and Mayhem.

Shin Godzilla

Even though the Japanese Academy Award/Prize trophy looks like a coffee table leg, it’ll sit nicely atop Godzilla’s fireplace, which just happens to be all of Tokyo.

Shin Godzilla

Unfortunately, we here in the States will have to wait until later in 2017 to get the movie on a variety of viewing platforms. I’ll no doubt buy them all. Twice.

Japanese Girls vs. Tokyo Zombies

Posted in Asian Horror, Asian Sci-Fi, Foreign Horror, Science Fiction, TV Vixens, Zombies with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on May 22, 2016 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Battle Girl: The Living Dead in Tokyo Bay

A meteor crashes into Tokyo Bay, the resulting stink steam fusing with unknown heavy metal compounds and Hello Kitty™ energy drinks and creates Cosmo-Amphetamine, a chemical agent that revives the dead.

Battle Girl: The Living Dead in Tokyo Bay

Since the meteor just killed a city’s worth of people (6.5 million to be exact), Capt. Fujuka is tasked with keeping people from coming into Tokyo and zombies from leaking out. Thanks to grade-school special effects, he fences off an entire city in a few hours flat. That’s why they made him a captain.

Battle Girl: The Living Dead in Tokyo Bay

But Fujuka is ill-intent, experimenting on survivors, using Cosmo-Amphetamine to create a squad of military zombies that squirt green liquid when split open. Someone needs to clean up this mess, but who? How about the easily-pronounced K-ko, the hot daughter of Colonel Kirihara, who is working on the problem from outside the quarantine zone?

Battle Girl: The Living Dead in Tokyo Bay

You’d think she’d have her hands full, what with 6.5 million zombies and Fujuka screwing around. But there’s hardly any living dead encounters, and the fight scenes are so bad as to be nothing more than dance moves with chin kicks. Not a lot of gory undead gunk, either. Oh sure, a few rotters are made into sandwich bread slices, but hardly anything that satisfies a deep hunger for black gut stuff.

Battle Girl: The Living Dead in Tokyo Bay

If you’re gonna title a movie Battle Girl: The Living Dead in Tokyo Bay (1991) then you should have way more violent gore and ninja moves than, say, a chick flick. This felt like a snack when it needed to be all-you-can-eat.

Choo-Choo Boo

Posted in Asian Horror, Evil, Foreign Horror, Ghosts, Zombies with tags , , , , , , , , , on May 8, 2016 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Ghost Train

If you find a boarding pass on the Tokyo suburb commuter train platform where people spit and walk around with Shiatsu poop on their shoes, DON’T PICK IT UP. Besides countless germs, a ghost lady will appear and say, “Give me what is mine,” and you’ll become a ghost, too. But not just a regular ghost; rather one with evil eyes, evil dark circles under said eyes and pale white onion evil skin.

Ghost Train

Nana, a high school student, has a little sister. Up until today, anyway. Her sister found the boarding pass at the station and the next day she was gone. The day before that another little kid vanished. In fact, a bunch of people have gone missing over the years.

Ghost Train

This explains why a busy station appears to be empty most of the time. Reviewing the security tapes officials notice a shadowy figure stalking the victims. They explain the aberration as a trick of the light. Yeah, a trick of the light that will EAT YOUR BRAINS. There’s a whole lot of blah, blah, blah before the story finally starts to unfold.

Ghost Train

Finding a hole in the tunnel wall, Nana ventures forth to find more labyrinth tunnels. It’s here she finds her sister — on top of a literal mountain of dead bodies. Then the ghost woman shows up. Then the bodies come alive. Then the bodies crawl like arthritic spiders in their general direction.

Ghost Train

A conductor friend gets them aboard a train he just happened to have parked nearby. The bodies crawl all over the tracks in turtle-speed pursuit. Time to hit the gas. While you don’t get to see the bodies crushed and munched under the train wheels, you get to hear it. Sounds like a bowl of screaming Rice Krispies™ played through a Marshall™ amp with extra knobs.

Ghost Train

Ghost Train (2006) features zero blood, some ghost stuff, and really tedious pacing. Horror-lite for commuters. I should go haunt the train station and say, “Give me what is mine,” which is a refund.

Coach Class Ghosts

Posted in Evil, Foreign Horror, Ghosts with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on March 28, 2016 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Flight 7500

If you thought late flights were bad, Flight 7500 from Los Angeles to Tokyo was delayed four years. I speak of course of Flight 7500, the “stalled on the Hollywood runway” horror movie by Takashi Shimizu, the Japanese filmmaker behind all those tedious Grudge revenge ghost movies.

Flight 7500

According to someone on the Internet, Flight 7500 – originally titled 7500 back in 2012 – was released in 2014. No one told me as it slipped past my air control. Since then it’s been released in important media hubs like the Philippines and probably Antarctica, because those movie markets are way more strategic than insignificant outposts like Los Angeles and New York.

7500

So Flight 7500 is finally scheduled to be released on April 12, 2016 on DVD. Will it be worth the fuss/wait? Here’s what to expect: “Flight 7500 departs Los Angeles International Airport bound for Tokyo. As the overnight flight makes its way over the Pacific Ocean during its ten-hour course, the passengers encounter a supernatural force in the cabin.”

7500

Yep, a ghost. Maybe that’s why they tried to keep the movie stalled for so long. It gave the actors a chance to catch another flight outta town.

If the plot sounds familiar, it is. Thailand’s 407 (aka, 407 Dark Flight 3D) was released early 2012 and goes like this: “A passenger plane is haunted by ghosts that gradually trick the passengers into going insane and killing each other.”

Looks like that restroom’s been occupied for some time.

The Ghost of Flight 401

P.S. There was a polter-passenger on a plane in 1978’s The Ghost of Flight 401, which was based on a TRUE story and adpated from a book. Books don’t lie. I even compared 407 with 401 on a blawg post on October 20, 2011. No lie.

Godzilla Hotel

Posted in Giant Monsters, Godzilla, Nature Gone Wild, Science Fiction with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , on April 12, 2015 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Godzilla Hotel

Godzilla, the world’s most iconic monster who has dominated all other monsters and related merchandising for decades, is about to conquer another foe: the hotel industry.

Godzilla Hotel opens April 17th, 2015 in monstrous fashion in Shinjuku, Tokyo, with an 80-ton, built-to-scale, radiation-spewing G-Head atop the 31-story Shinjuku Toho building. (For hotel purists, the life-size head was based on his face from 1992’s Godzilla vs Mothra.)

Godzilla Hotel

From the press release that arrived with no free tickets to Japan OR complimentary five night stay with mini-bar privileges: “There are two viewing rooms, which overlook the massive head of the King of Monsters that erupts from the roof of the theater, while the third is a Godzilla Room boasting its own statue, movie posters and a gigantic claw over the beds. The hotel also offers Godzilla-themed memorabilia and treats.”

Godzilla Hotel

And the price to stay at what is now the best hotel in the world? $334 to $417 a night, depending on the date. The $125 view rooms are a less wallet destructive.

Godzilla Hotel

All this comes on the heels of Toho re-booting the Godzilla franchise for a 2016 release, no doubt re-energized by the American 2014 Godzilla movie blockbustering in $528.7 million worldwide. That would buy a lot of nights at Godzilla Hotel.

I wonder if the concierge is Rodan? That’d be so cool. Just don’t let him park your car; he’d probably eat it.