Fans of H.P. Lovecraft, Cthulhu and hot sauce can rejoice. Portland, OR-based ArkhamBazaar.com, home of all things H.P. Lovecraft/Cthulhu, has just released three themed pepper sauces. (They also sell Cthulhu shirts, books, patches, video collections, coffee mugs, pins, jewelry and more.) Pretty much one-stop shopping for all things Great Old Ones.
These sauces, which can be purchased separately, in bundles of three ($17.98), or combined with a shirt with the same label art ($29.99), come in these flavors/heat signatures: Cthulhu Mind Flayer Pepper Sauce ($9.99), The King in Yellow Hastur Habanero Pepper Sauce ($9.99), and Unhallowed Jalapeño Dagon Pepper Sauce ($9.99). They also sell Cthulhu Cosmic Wing Sauce ($13.99), which pairs nicely with fried calamari. (You got that joke, yes?)
So while we load up our cupboards with more boutique hot sauce we’ll never use (click this), here are a few upcoming horror/sci-fi movies that may or may not be improved with spicy condiments…
BRING HER TO ME / October 27, 2023 (FullMoonFeatures.com)
“A sensual new tale of supernatural terror, where reality and nightmares collide…with deadly consequences. A woman is plagued by nightmares about traveling to a dark realm and a demonic entity that awaits her arrival. With the help of a friend, she consults a dream interpreter to end the nightmares, only to find that no one is who they seem and the real horror is about to begin.”
Warning: This one contains a LOT of female nudity. Therefore you should probably avoid it.
CORA / October 28, 2023 (VOD)
“After a deadly mist has wiped out most of humanity, a mysterious organization is trying to save what’s left of humankind.”
What’s the point? The only benefit of a humanity-ending apocalypse is more available parking.
DEVIL’S BANQUET / November 16, 2023 (Indonesia), Release pending 2023/2024 (US)
Husband and wife Kala and Radit live happily with their only child, Bima. One day, their happiness slowly disappears after they have to go to Radit’s old house because his long-lost mother was found to have mysteriously committed suicide. The inexplicable death of the grandmother causes the family to experience terror by creatures beyond reason. And strangely, all the terror was aimed at their child. The thought of leaving was the best way to save Bima. However, they never thought that it was just the beginning of a series of nightmares that would soon occur and that the dark secret behind their grandmother’s death was related to the rise of a demonic figure.”
Also known as Perjamuan Iblis, which in Indonesia means “demon-invoking grandmas may be evil…but they make good cookies.”
VARIANT / November 17, 2023 (China), Release pending 2023/2024 (US)
“In 2050, the Dishi Biotechnology Company hires the spaceship Thunder God to search for an alien creature called Bali. On their way back to Earth, the captain’s son Jamie accidentally releases Bali, which immediately kills almost everyone on board. Only Jamie and the crew member Kirk survive. Twenty years later, alien creatures keep invading Earth and injuring humans. Doctor Joy recognizes Jamie in an operation and takes him back to the laboratory. Kirk appears in the laboratory and cruelly tells Jamie how he used his curiosity to release Bali and kill the crew on the space station. Meanwhile, the monster Bali breaks free and goes on a rampage at the laboratory base. Jamie wakes up from his nightmare and decides to take revenge. A life-and-death battle for the fate of humanity begins.”
I liked this better when it was called Alien (1979).
Drinkin' & Drive-in 