More from the astonishing world of AI-generated art, these being superheroes re-imagined as zombies in all their rotting righteous glory. And think of it: Superman could eat Kryptonite brains and it wouldn’t cause abdominal distress. Batman could finally be besties with Dracula since they’re both undead. Spider-Man, like his insect-y counterparts, could Saran™ wrap you in his web and feast on you later while watching TV. And Hulk could smash you and use your pulp to make a tasty omelet. (He could actually do that without being a zombie.) The possibilities are endless.
While AI superhero zombies is relatively new, they’ve actually been around since 2005 in comic book form when Marvel Comics™ published Marvel Zombies™, a limited series that ran until 2006. A marvel-ous description: “The story is set in an alternate universe where the world’s superhero population has been infected with a virus, which turned them into zombies.”
And to connect a dot or two, those stories were written by Robert Kirkman, the guy behind The Walking Dead and Fear of the Walking Dead. The cover art of the comics was done by Arthur Suydam, whose artistry includes Deadpool, Black Panther, and KISS Zombies.
So while we all ponder the tingly ramifications of letting zombie Wonder Woman eat our faces off (closest thing we’ll ever get to tongue smooching her), here are a few upcoming horror and sci-fi movies that may or may not cause abdominal distress…
WHEN EVIL LURKS / October 6, 2023 (Limited) October 27, 2023 (Shudder™)
“In a remote village, two brothers find a demon-infected man just about to give birth to evil itself. They decide to get rid of the man but merely succeed in helping him to deliver the inferno.”
A demon-infected man giving birth to evil. Sounds like somebody just had a Moe’s Southwest Grill Homewrecker Burrito.
DARK FACES (GUEULES NOIRES) / NOVEMBER 29, 2023 (Theaters/France) Release pending 2023/2024 US (VOD)
“1956, north of France. A band of underground miners is forced to lead a professor to take samples a thousand meters underground. After a landslide prevents them from going back up, they discover a crypt from another time, and unknowingly wake up something that should have remained asleep.”
One thousand meters down translates to 3,280.84 feet. That’s three times bigger than The Empire State Building. To dig a hole that deep must’ve taken a lot of shovels. An easier method would’ve been to dump the coffin in the Mariana Trench, which is 10,935 meters (35,876 feet) deep. That’s where I throw all my empties.
PANDEMONIUM / Release pending 2023 (VOD)
Nathan wakes up on the cold tarmac of an isolated mountain road, unable to remember how he got there. He’s not alone though. There is another man, Daniel, a cyclist, who is full of wild stories — stories about death, stories about horrific accidents — all of which are unsettling, but only the start of Nathan’s troubles. It soon becomes clear that he has no other choice but to continue his journey by stepping through the mysterious door that suddenly appears in front of them, as if out of nowhere. Some of the souls he finds littered along the way are too far gone, their stories too monstrous to suggest there’s any going back for them. The question is, is Nathan one of them, or has it all been a big mistake like he seems to think?”
To clean that up, this one is a French horror film about two men pondering their fates after a lethal traffic accident leaves them both dead. So, did they get flattened by baguette-delivery guy on a excès de vitesse vélo?
REVIVAL / Release pending 2023 (VOD)
“Two robbers on the run end up in the clutches of a doctor who experiments on people to navigate the afterlife. What seems to be an innocuous foray into a scientific and existential revolution for humanity soon takes a turn for the worse.”
For those unclear, the afterlife is the rolling credits after your sitcom of an existence is over.
Drinkin' & Drive-in 