Here’s a click-bait headline for you: “The Enfield Poltergeist Docuseries Tackles One Of The Most Infamous Hauntings Of All Time,” and the kicker: The Hodgson family’s ordeal was based on a real-life haunting in Enfield, London and considered one of the most well-documented — and terrifying — of all time.” I’ve seen bits and pieces of this story on YouTube™ and the evidence is overwhelming in favor of REAL ghosts working their trade and doing what they do: scaring the “you” out of your “tube.”
From the press release: “In 1977, the terrifying haunting of an everyday family in Enfield, London, dominated headlines across the United Kingdom and had a tremendous impact on an entire generation of children. The mysterious case forever changed ideas about the supernatural and that it wasn’t just restricted to castles and stately homes but could be experienced by anyone, anywhere. The chilling story has inspired fictionalized versions of the case, including the film The Conjuring 2, a television series, and two stage plays.”
The Enfield Poltergeist premiers in its entirety on October 27, 2023 on Apple TV+™. So while we debate piecing together the story on YouTube™ for free or paying Apple TV+’s™ frightful streaming subscription fee of $6.99 (plus applicable fees ’n tax), here are a few upcoming horror/sci-fi movies that may or may not scare anyone in the UK…
ADAM CHAPLIN (EXTENDED CUT) / Release pending 2023 (Screambox™)
“Following the suspicious death of his wife, he investigates her murder and discovers mafia boss Denny is involved. Unable to trust the corrupt police, Adam summons a demon who offers him superhuman strength and dark powers, and promises to lead him to the murderer if he does everything the demon asks.”
Couple ’o things: This is an Italian horror movie that came out in 2011. Now it’s being re-released with additional footage. Here’s the sales pitch: Adam Chaplin is described as “One of the goriest movies you’ve never seen; the extended cut is even more batsh*t insane” and “You are not ready for and truly aren’t prepared for Adam Chaplin” and “This Italian must-see-to-be-believed-madness.” They had me at Italian.
THE BELL KEEPER / October 13, 2023 (VOD) December 5, 2023 (DVD)
“A group of friends travel to a haunted campsite with a mysterious bell. According to legend, if you ring the bell at midnight, a murderer will appear. This group’s plan to debunk the myth goes awry as they discover that the truth is stranger — and far more frightening — than fiction.”
Or you could just look in the mirror and say the murderer’s name five times.
TAETER BURGER / October 25, 2023 (VOD)
“In the year 2161, the dictatorship of Taeter City, a newly-formed small American state, has lowered the crime rate and solved the hunger crisis by turning criminals into the latest fast food craze served exclusively at Taeter Burger restaurants. Robotic traps, crazed cops, the restaurant’s malignant manager, and an army of murderous mutants, are just a part of the atrocities they must face before they discover the truth behind the terrorist attack, in this prequel of Taeter City (2012).”
Crime Burgers — do fries come with that?
THE COFFEE TABLE / release pending 2023 (VOD)
“A middle-aged couple, blessed with a newborn baby, buys a gaudy coffee table, a decision that will dramatically change their lives.”
This came out in Spain in 2022. Glad they’re finally getting a US release as coffee tables are absolutely terrifying, which means this movie is gonna be super scary.
Drinkin' & Drive-in 