Leave it to Mondo™, purveyors of all things pop-culture cool, to bring to market a vinyl Aztec Godzilla figure that clearly is one of the more unique iterations of the KotMs. (Haven’t checked if anyone’s done a Barbie™ Godzilla as I don’t wanna know the answer.)
From Mondo’s™ website: “Urban Aztec (aka Jesse Hernandez) brings his signature style to his first Mondo™ soft vinyl…the King of the Monsters! The Godzilla — Vinyl Designer Figure measures in at 10” tall and debuts in its fiery Burning Variant, complete with an Urban Aztec-ized Heat Ray Blast.”
The Aztec Godzilla is pre-ordering for $150.00 (click here). This is in contrast to the ancient Aztecs whose currency was gold dust they carried inside the rachis of duck feathers, small cotton pieces named patolcuahtli, cocoa beans, small pieces of tin, and T-shaped pieces of copper known as axe-coins. Check with Mondo™ to see if they’ll take any of that cool “coin” in lieu of boring money.
So while we scream like an Aztec sacrificial offering over this action figure, here are a few out now/upcoming horror/sci-fi movies whose rental price may or may not be worth a wallet full of cocoa beans…
KILLER BOOK CLUB (EL CLUB DE LOS LECTORES CRIMINALES) / Out now (VOD)
“Eight horror-loving friends fight for their lives when a killer clown who seems to know the grim secret they share begins to pick them off, one by one.”
I liked this better when it was called Scream (1996).
AMITYVILLE EMANUELLE / Out now (VOD)
“On a cold night in 1974, Amityville would encounter the devil himself when Ronald Defeo, Jr opened fire. Now, not even death can stop him from finishing his killing spree.”
So they’re actually using real-life murderer Ronald Defeo, Jr’s name in this YET ANOTHER Amityville Horror spin-off. Even Amityville Horror II: The Possession (1982) wouldn’t touch that with a 10-foot crucifix.
AMITYVILLE DEATH TOILET / Out now (VOD)
“Gregg G. Allin has a semi-successful podcast exploring paranormal events. When Amityville is overrun with a spate of toilet murders leading back to the haunted house of yesteryear, Gregg wastes no time flying into town to get some answers. With Amityville’s Mayor Dump demanding answers and an end to the killings, Gregg is perplexed because this Amityville house doesn’t seem to be that scary. Looks are very deceiving, and, after a toilet in the house mutilates Sebastian the caretaker, Gregg is forced to act. What ensues is a battle like no other where Gregg is pushed to the very limits of hell and beyond in an effort to save the town…and the world.”
Gregg G. Allin is a thinly-veiled reference to late punk rock maniac “GG” Allin, whose truly unruly rock show antics included self-mutilation and taking a steamer onstage. Given this movie’s title, it all lines up.
BOWLING SATURNE (SATURN BOWLING) / Release pending 2023 (Limited theaters, VOD)
“When his father dies, Guillaume, a police officer, inherits the family bowling alley and decides to give it to his half-brother, Armand. But the gift is cursed, setting off a series of brutal murders. Both brothers find themselves drawn into a demon-filled abyss and will have to face their tainted heritage. Darkness reigns over their world where the only rules are the rules of the hunt.”
Only the French could come up with the concept of a demon-filled bowling alley. Wonder if bowling chaussures rentals are $6.66? That’d be comedy gold if they were.
Drinkin' & Drive-in 