Jaws, the Monarch of Munch, is always putting you in his mouth. But what if you could put Jaws in YOUR mouth? Now you can with Mondo’s™ Jaws Tiki — Get Out of the Water beverage mug. And priced at $70 for the limited edition sculpted chomping chalice, you’ll finally have an excuse to give up your Anhueser-Busch™ sippy cup.
From Mondo’s™ website: “Just when you thought it was safe to close out your tab, the Jaws tiki returns in a bloody good new colorway. Bigger than ever, our new mug holds 26 ounces of chum (or whatever else you’d like fill him with). These stoneware ceramic mugs are handmade, making each one unique, so slight variations from images shown may occur. Shipping is expected March 2024.”
So while we all preorder this deep sea drink holder by clicking this, here are a few upcoming horror movies that may or may not be filled with 26 ounces of chum…
PHANTOM FUN-WORLD / Out now (Amazon Prine Video™)
Struggling to support her teen brother Cole, Andi Campbell takes a job at the soon re-opening indoor fun park Phantom Fun-World. However, the park’s jaded and horrific past violently returns in the form of The Phantom, hell-bent on keeping Phantom Fun-World closed for good.”
A masked serial killer with a butcher knife stalking teens? If you were born yesterday, this would be a great plot.
STRANDED / November 7, 2023 (VOD)
A group of siblings go into the wilderness to fulfill their mother’s request to scatter her ashes near their cabin outside Fouke in Arkansas, a location she was fond of as a child. Along the way, the siblings are forced to hash out issues and reopen old wounds as they become stranded on an old country road and stalked by a legendary monster that lurks in the woods.”
Any excuse to get people into the woods so Bigfoot can turn those outdoor smiles upside down.
WALDEN / November 10, 2023 (Limited) December 12, 2023 (VOD)
“Walden Dean is a stenographer, whose mind witnessed all types of injustices in the courtroom. After discovering he has a terminal illness, repressed anger deep within him surfaces — taking justice into his own hands in the most gruesome ways imaginable.”
A killer court stenographer. So will he be taking shorthand testimony notes at his own trial?
LORD OF MISRULE / DECEMBER 8, 2023 (VOD)
“Rebecca Holland has recently taken over the parish church in a rural English village. When her young daughter goes missing at a winter festival, villagers and local police join in the desperate search. However, the closer they edge towards finding the girl, the more secrets emerge from the town’s dark past. Soon Rebecca must decide just how much she is willing to sacrifice to rescue her daughter from the grip of evil.”
And evil does have a grip. I’ve been in it since kindergarten and haven’t been able to release myself of its grasp. Then again, I haven’t really tried.
Drinkin' & Drive-in 