Horror-themed Christmas tree decorating ideas: Use zombie guts instead of tinsel. Put a cracked, dirty and blood-stained hockey mask on the top with red-blinking lights behind it. And instead of flocking the tree with fake snow, use pus. Or you could click on over to Horrornaments.com for a slay full of unique horror Christmas ornaments to really spruce up your spruce.
Horrornaments.com has everything you need to make your tree as visiting relative-repellent as possible: Zombie Santa, Biohazard Skull, Braindeer, Cthulhu, Dracula Parrot, Gingerdead Man, Krampus, Yeti, Zombie Gnome and even a Christmas Pickle. They have so many ornaments, it’d take me to next Christmas to list ‘em all. And priced $19.99 and less, you should buy ’em all and put up seven Christmas trees in your living room. Just don’t invite the Fire Department over for the holidays.
So while we all snag the Christmas Pickle before it sells out (and it will), here are a few upcoming horror/sci-fi movies that may or may not contain scenes overflowing with holiday pus…
REFLECT / January 9, 2024 (VOD)
“Unhappy with her current relationship, Summer sets out on a road trip to Sedona, AZ, accompanied by her four gal pals to a spiritual obstacle course. Upon arriving, they are greeted by Hermes, their uncanny host, who leads them into the vast desertscape which becomes the foreground for the inter-dimensional game show they unknowingly are participating in. Transported, they begin a colorful, surrealistic journey of the soul, diving into issues surrounding trauma, mental health, and female relationships. The girls start to go missing one by one as we discover mysterious hooded figures are following them. As the tension rises, who will figure out how to escape this and become the last one standing, ultimately winning The Game of Life?”
Inter-dimensional game show — pfffft! Sounds like these hippy dipsticks were transported to Woodstock.
THE SEEDING / January 26, 2024 (VOD)
“When a hiker gets lost in the desert, a gang of feral children — propelled by haunting legacies — traps him in a sadistic battle for survival with a frightening endgame.”
I thought all children were feral.
HORRORSCOPE / May 10, 2024 (VOD)
“After getting their horoscopes read a group of college friends begin dying in ways connected to their fortunes.”
I had my horoscope done by a vending machine at the Puyallup Fair last summer. The results: “You desperately strive to stand out of the crowd, and you display your non-conformism. But sometimes the situation gets out of control, and you become a misfit, totally maladjusted to your environment.” Never doubt the wisdom of vending machines.
PTERODACTYL 2 / Release pending 2023/2024 (VOD)
“A rural paintball weekend getaway turns into a living hell.”
Weirdo plot, but that’s all this British monster movie will tell us. They also want us to know this is the sequel to Pterodactyl (2022). Noted.
Drinkin' & Drive-in 