Cartoon Horror, Censored Aliens, Possessed Bigfoot

AI artists. That term should be insulting to real artists who use finger paint, styptic pencils, toxic crayons and chisels to express their art. The ONLY thing AI “artists” use to create their “art” is a computer keyboard. While I’ve expressed this valid opinion again and yet again, it’s fascinating to see the results of said “art”. Take for example, using AI to turn horror movie characters into Disney™ cartoon characters, matching the style and colors so exact, you’d swear Disney™ animators did ’em. (Note: These “illustrations” emulate the animation art from the Disney™ classic One Hundred and One Dalmatians from 1961.) 

I found these admittedly cool re-imagined character art on Instagram™, which were done by The AI Dreams. I don’t have an Instagram™ account — I was looking for porn, I mean, 16th century European Renaissance art and clicked across a related link that took me to these AI-generated horror icons Pinhead, Ghostface, Leatherface, Chucky, Jason, Michael Myers, etc. Was visibly disappointed Frankenhooker wasn’t represented.

So while we all try our fingers at AI and turn the Regan from The Exorcist into a vomit-spewing Disney™ character, here are a few out now/upcoming horror/sci-fi movies/documentaries that may or may not be shown on the Disney Channel™… 

CRYPTID: THE CHUPACABRA / Out now (VOD)

“Cryptid: The Chupacabra takes you deep into the history of the legendary phenomenon. From its earliest roots in the villages of rural Puerto Rico to its present representative in the American southwest, this film explores all angles of the mystery and feature narration by STM-staple, Lyle Blackburn, and interviews with witnesses and experts Nick Redfern and Ken Gerhard.”

These Small Town Monsters™ productions are like meatloaf — kinda tastes good, but a lot of filler.

THE MARFA LIGHTS / Out now (VOD)

“The Marfa Lights have been described as UFOs, gas clouds and even lightening balls but no conclusive decision has been made as to their true nature, until now. Follow investigative film maker Serena DC and her team of ufologists and investigators as they travel to Marfa, Texas where they meet with experiencers and experts who have interacted with the lights and believe them to be extraterrestrial in nature.”

Hate to spoil it for everyone, but the Marfa Mystery Lights are just headlights from cars heading to and from 7-Eleven™. The lights were first seen in 1883, and were merely the low beam lanterns on stagecoaches heading to and from 7-Eleven Trading Post™.

TOP 20 ALIEN AND UFO COVER UPS / Out now (VOD)

“The Government’s involvement in concealing UFOs has long been a subject of speculation and suspicion. Recent revelations from whistle-blowers, military personnel and astronauts disclose encounters with alien crafts in our airspace, outer space and on the Moon. Material evidence that includes photographs, recordings and suppressed footage serves as evidence that suggests the presence of malevolent aliens is a significant crisis that must be urgently addressed.”

Aliens/UFOs do exist. They’re on YouTube™ all the time. Would YouTube™ lie about such things? I think not.

BIGFOOT EXORCIST / Release pending 2024 (VOD)
A demonic cult has summoned Bigfoot, the ultimate beast, to prowl the mountains and slaughter innocent victims. When Frank, a young man, is attacked by the creature, the curse of Bigfoot is passed down to him. Now Frank turns into a hairy, fanged beast at night, thirsty for warm blood. Only the power of a nun trained in exorcism can hope to set Frank free from this nightmare. However, it may already be too late.”

Same thing happened to ’ol Larry Talbot after he was bitten by a werewolf. A right proper whack to the head with a silver-headed cane brought that nonsense to a screeching halt. Cheaper than hiring a trained exorcist, anyway.