Embroidered Horror, Latino Zombies, Demonic Revenge

Artist George Coghill, from Kent, OH, sells himself as a Monsterologist. George makes colorful embroidered patches of every cryptid in the entire world. Okay, maybe not the entire world, but more than you count on 50 fingers. These freakin’ cool 3”x3” patches, which includes large back patches (10”x11”), depict everything from Area 51, the The Jersey Devil and Mothman to the Kraken, The Loveland Frogman and the Hopkinsville Aliens. So yeah, he more than earns the title.

From George’s Monsterologist Etsy™ storefront: “Embroidered patches, stickers, buttons, enamel pins and more. Monsters, cryptids, Halloween and other fun paranormal-themed items, including Bigfoot, Yeti, Sasquatch, aliens, UFOs, ghosts, Halloween, Krampus and more.” Prices range from $3 to $46 (the aforementioned back patches), and you get EVERY SINGLE ONE OF ’EM by clicking this.

So while we all refresh our wardrobe by adorning ’em with these beyond cool paranormal patches, here are a few out now/upcoming horror/sci-fi movies that may or may not have loose threads (you got that joke, yes?)…

CHOLO ZOMBIES / Out now (YouTube™)

“A comedy horror film about zombie absurdity where only true Cholos turn and SoCal’s legal system is a little too lenient. Not to be confused with Cholo Zombies Monstro from the same team.”

I saw Cholo Zombies Monstro (2023). That one’s a zombie love story. Even with all the gore, I was tuned off by the romance, which was way more icky than the gore.

THE HOUSE OF THE SERPENT / July 30, 2024 (VOD)

“Naomi is writing a new play at a mountain villa she rented for the summer. Troubled by her thoughts, she calls her friend, actress Mizuki, telling her that there is something in the house. Naomi hears the screams of the children. When Naomi calls Mizuki, they talk about the new play. It’s based on a strange incident about a woman’s disappearance that she saw on a TV program a while ago. The daughter claims that she saw her mother running out into the garden and disappearing without a trace. Then she finds scorch marks on the ground where she vanished.”

Pffft! I leave scorch marks on the ground all the time. P.S. No, thank YOU 7-Eleven™ BBQ Bacon Cheeseburger Roller™.

CAMP TERROR / Release pending 2024 (VOD)

The quiet town of Forrest Lakes was paralyzed by devastating events that took place involving the myth of a bullied child, and his demonic revenge on the campgrounds where he had been murdered long ago. The events that transpired nearly two decades ago at the very location where this urban legend was rumored to occur, focus on the tragedy that plagued a young girl and the unexplained massacre she witnessed that to this day has still gone unsolved. Sheriff Katie Becks has sworn to serve and protect the place where she once lost everything. The infamous Jacob Phelps has yet again resurfaced and is hunting for the one survivor who escaped him. As a group of friends explore the empty campgrounds in search of ghost stories, they will soon find they have found more than they bargained for. Crippling fear and sheer terror are unleashed in what becomes the most disturbing acts this small community has ever seen.”

The most disturbing acts ever seen? Clearly, they’ve never been to the Tug Tavern on $2 Oyster ’n Hornitos Black Barrel™ Shooters Night. Call ahead to reserve a stool. And I’m not talking about a chair.

DECADE OF THE DEAD / Release pending 2024/2025 (VOD)

Ten years after the apocalypse, a group of bounty hunters finds refuge on a tropical island only to discover it’s ruled by a deranged cult leader with plans to take over the post-apocalyptic world. Stuck between the cult and the relentless hordes of the walking dead, the survivors must fight for their lives.”

An oxymoron as all cult leaders are deranged. They have to be — it’s in their charter.