Ghost Mirrors, Bear Eggs, Paranormal Charity

There are three types of ghost mirrors: haunted, cursed and spirit, each carrying a different portent not related to drinking. In Chinese culture, it’s believed if you carry a corpse past a mirror, you’ll become a ghost. Not sure why Chinese people would be carrying around a corpse in the first place, but hey, when in Rome. And in German and Dutch cultures, they think if you see your reflection after a loved one has passed away, it’s an omen that you’ll be the next to kick some buckets. Note to travelers — stay out of Germany and whatever country the Dutch come from. As for the rest of us, mirrors are used to fix stupid hair.

Then there’s the Victorian ghost antique mirror designed by Michael Locascio, a New Jersey-based artist and the owner of Dellamorte & Co. online store. The sculpture depicts a ghost coming out of the mirror, thereby breaking on through to the other side. (He also designs mythical creatures, catacombs, and mysticism, which comes in handy more than you’d think.) And here’s the cool part — the 3D ghosts in his mirrors ($60) glow in the dark…just like real ghosts! That’s supernaturally badass. Check out his ghost mirrors and other awesome wares by turning off the lights and clicking this.

So while we all replace all the mirrors in our house (I have 43) with these Victorian ghost antique mirrors, here are a few out now/upcoming horror/sci-fi documentaries that may or may not help you with your stupid hair…

PANDASAURUS / Out now (VOD)

“An egg discovered on an unchartered island hatches and becomes a new breed of cuddly…and deadly! The now fully grown Pandasaurus is the star attraction of a failing zoo until it escapes and goes on a rampage of destruction in an attempt to return home. Now it’s up to two zoo keepers to track down and capture the beast in hopes of stopping the most bizarre creature the earth has even known.”

Bears come from eggs? Why am I just now finding out about this?

POPULATION PURGE / July 9, 2024 (VOD)

In a dystopian world where a radical government has unleashed a deadly poison to control population, only those with blood type AB positive remain unscathed. But instead of outright death, the rest of the population is left to suffer in a state of chronic illness, causing widespread chaos and panic. As the majority slowly succumbs to the effects of the poison, their only hope lies in receiving transfusions of AB positive blood from the few immune survivors, like Charlie and his granddaughter Maya. Living in the decrepit remains of an abandoned amusement park, Charlie is a renegade supplier of blood to the underground market. But their sanctuary is threatened by the iron-fisted rule of District 22’s ruthless warden, Onslow, who will stop at nothing to save his own dying son. As Charlie and Maya fight to defend their haven and their own sanity, the eccentric duo must navigate through a world of danger and betrayal.”

If someone used me as a human keg, I’m afraid the rest of the population is doomed. Still, I demand my juices go for market value.

THE BIGFOOT EXPERIENCE / July 30, 2024 (VOD)

“The discovery of Bigfoot would be a momentous event with far-reaching implications for science, conservation, and society. It would challenge our understanding of the natural world and force us to confront the mysteries that still exist within it. For those who have encountered these legendary creatures, the emotional scars run deep, and their testimonials make one thing clear: that they truly exist. Whether Bigfoot is ever discovered remains to be seen, but the quest to unravel its secrets continues.”

Why are we still having this discussion on whether or not Bigfoot is real? That fact has been established in a plethora of YouTube™ videos. I say we turn our sights to other forest-dwelling cryptids like raccoons or penguins. Those things freak me out and… Okay, no more three Bloody Mary breakfasts for me. And speaking of Bloody Mary…

POPPY LOFTUS / July 30, 2024 (VOD)

“Failing at another job, Fiadh must return home to take care of her mother, ‘Mental’ Maggie. When the strange goings on appear to be more than her mother’s eccentricity, she decides to dabble in the field of paranormal investigation.”

Dabbling in paranormal investigation is like doing charity work — in the end you end up with a whole lotta nothing for your efforts.