Bleached Godzilla, Magic Bigfoot, Unnatural Marriage

2023’s Godzilla Minus One in color is visually staggering. Godzilla Minus One/Minus Color, a meticulous frame-by-frame black and white conversion, equally so. And since 2024 is The Year of Godzilla (70th anniversary in November), we’re getting Shin Godzilla: Orthochromatic, which makes its international premier at New York City’s 17th annual Japan Cuts: Festival of New Japanese Film in July 2024. If you haven’t seen Shin Godzilla — one of the most evil and destructive iterations of the King of the Monsters, it features several evolving versions of G, one of which dumps Olympics-sized pools of liquid blood out its gills — splashing all over previously clean Kamata district of Tokyo streets. Not sure how impactful this will look in black and white, but hey — liquid blood!

From the film’s press release: “Hideaki Anno and Shinji Higuchi’s 21st century masterpiece is reborn with this stunning black-and-white version. Shin Godzilla: Orthochromatic adds new dimensions to the 2016 film’s visual impact by rendering it in orthochromatic (“ortho” for short) black-and-white, a type of monochrome characterized by starker contrasts and more pronounced blacks. The results are awe-inspiring and presents Shin Godzilla as never seen before.”

So while we all take off our rose colored glasses and buy Shin Godzilla: Orthochromatic when it comes out, here are a few out now/upcoming horror/sci-fi movies that may or may not feature Olympics-sized pools of liquid blood…

A FLASH OF BEAUTY: PARANORMAL BIGFOOT / Out now (Tubi™)

“Does Bigfoot have paranormal abilities? Many eyewitnesses say yes, as they can’t explain what they’ve seen.”

Okay, this is a weird title for a Bigfoot doc. Someone must have a big foot fetish. Heh. So does Bigfoot have paranormal abilities? Duh.

STUPID GAMES / Out now (VOD)

“A girl’s discreet attempt to assess her one night stand and his friends takes a deadly turn when she and her roommates host a dinner party where they unknowingly unleash a malevolent force.”

If the dinner included a three-bean casserole and/or tacos, I might know what malevolent force they unleashed.

ANIMALIA / Out now (VOD)

“Itto, a young woman from a modest rural background, is slowly adapting to the Moroccan privileged codes of her husband’s family. But when supernatural events put the country in a state of emergency, Itto finds herself separated from her husband and new family. Alone, pregnant and looking for her way back, she finds emancipation.”

I had to look up Moroccan privileged family codes, which includes limiting the number of wives a man can have to four, but allows for exceptions in certain circumstances. You’d have to be supernatural to have four or more wives, if not physically but financially.

HERETIC / November 15, 2024 (Theaters)

“Two missionaries become ensnared in a deadly game of cat-and-mouse after they knock on the wrong door.”

A missionary is a member of a religious group who goes around knocking on doors in order to promote his/her faith. After being inspired by Home Alone (1990), I would hereby like to invite missionaries into my house where I can promote my cat-and-mouse faith.