Carnivalized Halloween, Evil Tree, Mommy Time Machine

For horror fans, every day is Halloween. Okay, I might have said that previously. If it ain’t broken… While we’re 147 days to Halloween from today’s date, Spirit Halloween™, the one-stop-shopping store of all things spooky ass horror, has been putting together Carnevil, this year’s Halloween extravaganza. Just writing that just gave me a pee shiver.

So for Spirit Halloween’s™ Carnevil, we’re getting Art The Clown (Terrifier), Michael Myers (Halloween), Ghostface (Scream) and Emily & Victor (The Corpse Bride) life size animatronics. Also on the delicious menu is Gravestone Ghoul, Night Terror, Wanda Webworth, Giant Death Ray, The Cremator, Mack Straw, Dark Princess, Demonic Gatekeeper and literal tons more. Click this for a preview.

So while we go back to reading the Halloween Bible (Necronomicon, 1st edition) and showing us how to live the good life, here are a few upcoming horror/sci-fi movies that may or may not be full of spooky ass horror…

KILL / July 4, 2024 (Theaters)

“When army commando Amrit finds out his true love Tulika is engaged against her will, he boards a New Delhi-bound train in a daring quest to derail the arranged marriage. But when a gang of knife-wielding thieves led by the ruthless Fani begin to terrorize innocent passengers on his train, Amrit takes them on himself in a death-defying kill-spree to save those around him — turning what should have been a typical commute into an adrenaline-fueled thrill ride.”

Still, taking on a gang of knife-wielding thieves beats getting married. If “pain on a train” is your bag, try Snowpiercer (2013).

STARVE ACRE / September 6, 2024 (Theaters)

“1970s, rural England. Richard and Juliette’s seemingly idyllic family life is thrown into turmoil when their son starts acting out of character. At Starve Acre, their remote family home, archaeologist Richard buries himself in exploring a folkloric myth that the ancient oak tree on their land is imbued with phenomenal powers. While Juliette turns to the local community to find some kind of peace, Richard obsessively digs deeper. An unexpected discovery soon occupies the couple’s attention and dark and sinister forces, unwittingly allowed into the home, offer a disturbing possibility of reconnection between them.”

They totally stole the ancient tree with powers from Harry Potter’s Whomping Willow. That freakin’ thing belongs in the WWE™. Still, if malevolent trees are your bag, try Devil’s Tree: Rooted Evil (2018).

WAKE / Release pending 2024 (VOD)

Lake Reed is an actress with a string of lackluster accomplishments under her belt. After blowing countless auditions, her agent threatens to drop her if she does not land a role. Her eyes are set on the lead role in a major classic movie remake. Lake tracks down actress Corin Abel who starred in the original film for advice. Corin is now a paraplegic recluse after a tragic accident that took her mobility half a decade ago. As Lake learns from her insightful experience, strange things happen involving macabre images and violent visions that suggest Corin’s acting methods may not be as innocent as they first seem. Lake is torn between her determination to land this role and her fear for her life.”

Macabre images and violent visions. This ain’t a movie…it’s a typical night at the Tug Tavern.

SHE LOVED BLOSSOMS MORE / Release pending 2024/2025

“Three brothers build an unusual time machine in order to bring their long-dead mother back to life. When their delusional father comes into the picture, the experiments go awry, and they descend into a psychedelic hellscape where the past and present fuse in a comedic yet disturbing exploration of grief.”

Hey guys, you might want to reconsider. If you bring your mother back to life, all she’s gonna do make you go to your room and/or take out the trash.