Texas Skateboard Massacre, Experienced Demonologist, Satanic Hippies

Two more reasons to crack one or six open — October 11, 2024 is the 50th anniversary of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, one of the most notorious horror films ever made. And as if you need a reason to crack open one or six, Madrid Skateboards™ have come out with a line of Texas Chainsaw Massacre themed skateboards to get your inner power tool/goofy foot on.

You can buy the TCM decks individually (prices range from $79.95 to $124.95) or get the limited Slaughter Collection for $499.95 plus $50.00 flat rate shipping. Says Madrid Skateboards™, “This insane collection features a whopping 5 decks along with Trick Or Treat’s™ amazing fully-functional replica chainsaw from the 1974 film. We have only 50 sets available, each shipping with an official hand numbered card of authenticity. The Slaughter Collection Includes: • Homefront Retro Deck • Hardesty Retro Deck • Headcheese Retro Deck • Hitcher Retro Deck • Sunburn Retro Deck • Trick or Treat Studio’s Replica Chainsaw! This is a preorder item and arrives on or before August 18, 2024.” Click here to get decked out.

So while those of us with good balance/coordination snap up these skateboards, here are a few out now/upcoming horror/sci-fi movies that may or may not give you road rash…

THE EVIL WITHIN / Out now (VOD)

“An expert exorcist and a demonologist critique two exorcisms involving the demons Lucifer and Leviathan to uncover the evil within.”

Think I’ll put “expert demonologist” on my resumé. Then I’ll be sure to get that night shift job cleaning gas station bathrooms. Score!

THERE IS A MONSTER / Out now (VOD)

“A photographer keeps seeing an entity. His wife Carol and best friend David wonder if maybe he’s losing his mind, because no one else can see it. But the damage being done to his body is very real and he has no way to make it stop.”

Yep, he’s been on a Steel Reserve™ bender. Just go with the flow, man.

INVERTED / May 28, 2024 (VOD, DVD)

“An off-the-grid satanic cult in the 1970s kidnap a group of hippies to brainwash and recruit for the Holy War against the second coming of Christ. The group has a choice to join the war or fight to survive one of the most brutal satanic cults in the annals of American history.”

This will be a challenge for the satanic cult as hippies are already brainwashed. In fact, their brains are the only thing hippies wash.

GHOST PLANET / June 1, 2024 (VOD)

“A group of astronauts venture to a mysterious planet to claim the find of the century.”

It’s beer, I’m certain of it. If I was one of those astronauts, I shan’t be coming home.