The Family Ghouls

The House of Seven Corpses

Watching 1974’s The House of Seven Corpses (featuring eight graves) is comparable to a sitting down to a Thanksgiving dinner with family and relatives: lots of arguing, some bloodletting, and a big turkey at the center of it all.

The House of Seven Corpses

So this horror movie film director is making a movie about the infamous Beal Mansion and the family who were the sacrifice party victims of occult mis-doings. Points for setting the mood.

The House of Seven Corpses

But the sticky part comes when the director wants the reluctant cast to re-enact said rituals/incantations from best-selling Tibetan Book of the Dead (available on – no kidding), which ends up resurrecting one of the family ghouls who shows up to coach the actors on how to die with more realism. Talk about your killer cameos – heh. [Note: This might be where The Evil Dead (1981) got the idea to do the SAME THING.]

The House of Seven Corpses

The zombie has his work cut out – there are 14 main characters, all of whom barely get along. Not helping that the director is constantly yelling and brow-beating his actors into emoting. (He’s actually more of a dick than a filmmaker.) But it’s the ghoul that squeezes the performance out of the dwindling actors/actorettes/everyone else.

The House of Seven Corpses

Best part: a school/graveyard fight between the director and a cameraman at the end – lens dude gets flipped into a freshly dug grave and through the magic of cinema, rises up as an icky dirt zombie. He crawls out and pursues his choke-worthy adversary so slow as to let turtles whiz by.

The House of Seven Corpses

The House of Seven Corpses has a great title. Not much more than that, unfortunately, even though a ton of horror movies after ripped it off. Kinda like people who dress like you. (Sometimes I hate being a fashion icon.)

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