Archive for The Evil Dead

Evil Girlfriends, Crosswalk Bigfoot, Horny Ghost

Posted in Bigfoot, Classic Horror, Evil, Fantasy, Ghosts, Misc. Horror, Nature Gone Wild with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on August 9, 2018 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

The Evil Dead

Gotta hand it to Monsters In Motion for coming up with The Evil Dead action figures of the possessed girlfriends. And like real girlfriends, they’re not cheap; both Shelly and Linda, in super cool retro styled packaging, costs $89.99…EACH. Even if your own girlfriend wasn’t possessed and dressed in a retro fashion style, that’d still be a hefty chunk of bit coin to spend on her, a romantic McDonald’s™ hamburger dinner notwithstanding.

The Evil DEad

Better hurry if you have the fun bucks to spare as they’re limited to 75 each. If they sell out, that’s $6,750.00 for a pile of painted plastic. And while you’re scrounging for the dough, here are a few just released/upcoming horror/Fantasy movies that may or may not be as affordable as your girlfriend and/or a McDonald’s hamburger…

The Back 80: A Modern Day Bigfoot Encounter

THE BACK 80: A MODERN DAY BIGFOOT ENCOUNTER (available now)
“During the summer of 2013, a woman’s world is turned upside down after seeing a Bigfoot cross the road in front of her one afternoon. She soon realizes that she is not alone on her own property and struggles to separate the truth from her own obsession. She finds others in town who have similar stories to tell and her quest for answers takes her to the abandoned, gated woods of the back eighty.”

Pffft — not seeing why everyone gets so gooned out from seeing a Bigfoot. I could, though, see causing an internal stink if the alleged cryptid jaywalker was wearing a funny hat.

Good Manners

GOOD MANNERS (available now)
“A mysterious and wealthy woman hires a lonely nurse named Clara to be the nanny of her soon-to-be born child. When a full moon brings about the birth of a werewolf, Clara makes it her mission to care for the monstrosity and protect it from others.”

A nanny to a werewolf. Clara isn’t thinking too clearly about this new job of hers. For one thing, it’d look really suspect on your resume when applying for future workings. Unless you wanna go to work for Victor Frankenstein. In which case, he’d probably hire you on the spot.

Muse

MUSE ( August 21, 2018)
“Inside a gritty, DTLA loft is a lonely, struggling painter who longs for artistic inspiration and to become a successful artist. But, when Adam’s muse takes form in a glimmering, mystical and deadly spirit creature from Celtic lore, the Leannán Sí, who is based upon the Gaelic legend of a mythical Celtic, she chooses Adam as her human lover to protect and seduce.”

Is there a downside to this? I’m thinkin’ win-win here.

Dead Love

DEAD LOVE (August 21, 2018)
Brandon is a young train engineer whose world is upended when his mother suddenly takes her own life. At the funeral home, he meets Fiona, a beautiful and mysterious mortician who takes a strong interest in him. Soon they discover they share a passion for music. And when Fiona serenades him with an ancient folk song, their lives become entwined for eternity.”

They share a passion for music? How about a little “bedspring symphony”? Heh.

Printed Splatter, Foreign Demons, Immortal Daycare

Posted in Classic Horror, Evil, Foreign Horror, Ghosts, Sharks, Slashers, Vampires, Werewolves, Witches with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on July 1, 2018 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Ad Nauseam: Newsprint Nightmares from the 1980s

Before there were iPads™ and “smart tablets,” you got your news and non-porn ads from newspapers. Those things were cool — lots of pictures, tons of useless information and you never had to plug it in or recharge it. It was in those newspapers that movie companies placed ads. And in the ’80s, you got gore and slasher movie ads, which were an art form unto themselves.

Ad Nauseam: Newsprint Nightmares from the 1980s

Author/horror movie expert Michael Gingold (Fangoria, Rue Morgue, Birth.Movies.Death, Time Out New York, Scream, The FrightFest Guide to Monster Movies, Shark Movie Mania), has a new book coming out October 9, 2018 called Ad Nauseam: Newsprint Nightmares from the 1980s, a compilation of all those luridly glorious horror movie/TV ads. And even more frightening is the price: $34.95. In 1980s money, that’s worth the price of nearly 140 newspapers. That’s some serious fire hazard buying power.

Ad Nauseam: Newsprint Nightmares from the 1980s

I’m thinkin’ that the reprinted horror movie ads are all black and white, which gives ‘em a grindhouse-y aesthetic. The book might have a few color ads, though, (I’m hoping to see The Evil Dead/1981 ads in full blood-esque color).

Ad Nauseam: Newsprint Nightmares from the 1980s

While we impatiently wait for October (why won’t my homemade time tunnel work? I put new double AA batteries in it…), here are a few upcoming horror movies/TV series that may or may not be worth cutting out of a newspaper or downloaded onto your maxi-iPad™…

Wellington Paranormal

WELLINGTON PARANORMAL (July 11, 2018/New Zealand)
“The new mockumentary series follows officers Minogue and O’Leary as a pair of paranormal cops focused not just on vampires this time. New Zealand’s capital is a hotbed of supernatural activity, so Officers Minogue and O’Leary take to the streets to investigate all manner of paranormal phenomena including ghosts, demonic possession and werewolves.”

This is the TV series sequel to the incredibly hilarious What We Do In The Shadows (2014) vampire movie, and will premier July 11, 2018 on New Zealand channel TVNZ. My antennae doesn’t reach that far. Word around the antennae store, though, is the follow-up movie is tentatively titled, We’re Wolves. Flippin’ genius.

Open 24 Hours

OPEN 24 HOURS (2018)
“Mary knew her boyfriend James was the Rain Ripper serial killer. But she felt powerless to act until he forced her to watch another victim being slaughtered before her eyes — and then she set him on fire. On parole from prison despite everyone thinking she was guilty by proxy, and on medication to control her paranoid hallucinations, Mary gets a graveyard shift job at the remote Deer gas station. Then the killings begin. Is what’s happening real? Are they just blood-soaked delusions? Or does she really like to watch people murdered as her ex always intimated?”

Rain Ripper seems like a dumb name for a serial killer. And since when does a pyromaniac get a job at a gas station? That’s like me going to work for Anheuser-Busch. (Note to AB — I totally promise to stay drunk on the job, as I am a company man, through and through.)

The Witch in the Window

THE WITCH IN THE WINDOW (2018/2019/Shudder™)
“A separated father Simon and his estranged twelve-year-old son, Finn, head to Vermont to repair an old farmhouse and encounter the malicious spirit of a previous owner, an infamously cruel woman named Lydia. With every repair Simon makes, he’s also making her spirit stronger…until a terrifying encounter leaves him doubting whether he can protect his son from the evil that’s making its way into their heads and hearts.”

“Infamously cruel.” That’s some serious street cred. Looks good on a resume, though, especially when applying to work for Yelp™.

NOS4A2

NOS4A2 (2019/AMC)
“A young female artist named Vic McQueen discovers she has a supernatural connection with Charlie Manx, a seemingly immortal man who feeds off the souls of children and deposits their remains in a twisted holiday village known as Christmasland. Vic sets out to defeat Manx and rescue his victims while keeping her sanity intact.”

This one’s gonna be a TV series (whoohoo — binge time!) on AMC, and is based on the same named 2013 book by Joe Hill, Stephen King’s son. I can see why he didn’t take his dad’s last name — then he’d be “Joe King/Joking”. Heh.

Evil Music, Headless Sex, Bad To The Drone

Posted in Aliens, Asian Horror, Asian Sci-Fi, Classic Horror, Evil, Fantasy, Foreign Horror, Ghosts, Science Fiction, TV Vixens with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on June 12, 2018 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Evil Dead – A Nightmare Reimagined

Remember when the only way to summon evil was to play heavy metal vinyl albums backwards? Now you can do it with the Evil Dead – A Nightmare Reimagined two-album vinyl set. And at $35 smackos, it’d be a bargain at twice the price.

Evil Dead – A Nightmare Reimagined

So Joe LoDuca, the guy who did the soundtrack for The Evil Dead movies, re-recorded the original score and even wrote (or “composed”) a bunch of all new music as well. What a swell guy! And hey, with cover art by Graham Humphreys, the 180 gram vinyl comes in a variety of demon-spewed colors: green, yellow, and purple swirl with red splatter effect. Now there’s something to shout at your shoes over. Lest I forget, there’s an included Necronomicon booklet with liner notes from composer Joe LoDuca, producer Robert Tapert and Evil Dead icon himself, Bruce Campbell (aka, Ash).

After you click HERE to buy it, here are a few just released/upcoming horror and sci-fi movies that may or may not have you doing the technicolor yawn…

2036 - Origin Unknown

2036 ORIGIN UNKNOWN (available now)
“After the first manned mission to Mars ends in a deadly crash, mission controller Mackenzie ‘Mack’ Wilson assists an artificial intelligence system, A.R.T.I. Their investigation uncovers a mysterious object under the surface of Mars, that could change the future of our planet as we know it.”

Always up for a good Mars mystery. I’m thinkin’, though, the “mysterious object” under the surface of Mars is probably an extraterrestrial rave club, with glow sticks, aliens dancing stupidly and music that sounds like a clogged space vacuum cleaner.

Marlina The Murderer In Four Acts

MARLINA THE MURDERER IN FOUR ACTS (June 22, 2018)
Marlina is a grieving woman, hard at work all year long to save enough money for the traditional Sumba burial of her late husband; who now sits as a mummy in the living room. Markus knocks on her door and informs her that his gang intends to rob her in half an hour; a promise well kept. Marlina poisons the robbers and seduces Markus. During sex, she beheads him and starts a journey with Markus’ bloodied head inside a plastic bag. She embarks on a journey of redemption and empowerment, but the ghost of one of the men she killed returns to haunt her.”

Cutting off someone’s head while you’re having sex with them? I’m pretty sure there are less violent forms of birth control.

Hover

HOVER (June 29, 2018)
“In the near future, environmental strain causes food shortages around the world. Technology provides a narrow path forward, with agricultural drones maximizing the yield from what land remains. Two compassionate caregivers, Claudia and John, work to help sick farmland inhabitants end their lives. When John dies under mysterious circumstances, the locals help Claudia uncover a deadly connection between the health of her clients and the technology that they are using.”

I watched the trailer; A.I. drones flying around and doing the whole electronic peeping tom thing. As laughable as this is, I get the feeling it’s already happening. Better start using the bathroom indoors from here on out.

Detective Dee: The Four Heavenly Kings

DETECTIVE DEE: THE FOUR HEAVENLY KINGS (July 26, 2018/China)
Accused of wrongdoing by Empress Wu, Detective Dee faces a formidable foe while investigating a crime wave that’s marked by strange and seemingly supernatural occurrences.

If you haven’t seen any of the Detective Dee movies (Detective Dee and the Mystery of the Phantom Flame/2010 and Young Detective Dee: Rise of the Sea Dragon/2013), then you’re depriving yourself of crazy wild fantasy visuals that make you rethink reality. You’ll need a seatbelt for your mind.

9 Years of Parade-Worthy Horror

Posted in Aliens, Asian Horror, Asian Sci-Fi, Classic Horror, Evil, Foreign Horror, Ghosts, Giant Monsters, Godzilla, Nature Gone Wild, Science Fiction, Sharks, Slashers, UFOs, Vampires, Werewolves, Witches, Zombies with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on June 9, 2018 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Horror Questions

Today is the nine-year anniversary of my very first posting on WordPress™. After I upload this, I’m going outside to wait for my parade. There’s sure to be tens, maybe dozens, of people showing up, so I better get there early to get a good viewing spot. Okay, that made no sense at all.

Thriftway

That said, over the years and in line at the grocery hole (Thriftway™ — more expensive than Safeway™, but easier to get to), I’ve been asked a least one million billion questions about myself and this here Drinkin’ & Drive-in blog. Figured it was about time to put it on the glass so everyone who reads this thing (thank you) can finally get some closure.

Horror

“How long have you been doing the Drinkin’ & Drive-in blog and how did you get started?”
I was hired by Microsoft (aka, MSNEntertainment.com) back in 1997 to do a PAID daily horror/sci-fi movie blog called Fright Site. That program ended in 2010 (at least their checks didn’t bounce), but I wasn’t done yet. After about three seconds of studied and careful consideration, I started up Drinkin’ & Drive-in on WordPress.com and have been doing it WITHOUT PAY since June 9, 2010. So 25 years total, give or take. (I’m not really a math guy.)

Horror

How come you don’t accept paid advertising on your blog?
Because ads suck. I’d rather keep doing the blog for no pay than have it cluttered with banners promoting trendy pants and boxed squeezy mattresses. (Disclaimer: WordPress™ might have small pop-up ads that, like my thirst for beer, I have no control over.)

Ultimate Hamburger

“How would you describe your blog?
I don’t do horror/sci-fi/fantasy movie reviews as it requires more brains than I currently have operating inside the vending machine that is my head. Rather, I just endlessly watch all kinds of horror and sci-fi and merely relate what I’ve witnessed. As opposed to a food critic, I would rather not analyze the notes and complexities of food and just eat the damn hamburger.

Godzilla

“What are your favorite kinds of horror movies?”
Longtime readers (thank you, David. H and Jon from NC) will know I’m a big fan of giant monster movies, Japanese or otherwise. This is followed by ghosts, werewolf and shark movies. My least favorite types of horror movies are those with slashers/serial killers. There’s more than enough of those types of people in the news everyday. For sheer crazy weirdness, I really dig those Japanese extreme gore movies and pretty much anything regarding UFOs.

UFO

“Have you ever seen a UFO?”
Not as yet. But I do believe the people who say they’ve seen one. The truth is out there, I want to believe, etc., etc. I do, however, eat UFOs  almost every day: unidentified frying objects.

Zombeavers

“Are there any types of horror movies you won’t watch?”
Though I have seen enough of ‘em to know not to watch that kind of stuff anymore, are horror movies involving torture porn, rape and real or fake violence against real and/or fake animals, though I will make an exception for critters that are zombies. (I’m looking in your direction Zombeavers/2014). Oddly, I don’t feel the same way about violence towards fish. (Ironically, I’m eating a tuna fish sandwich while writing this.)

“You don’t use swear words in your blog — why not?”
Anyone can swear — it’s like the karaoke of language. My “journalism skills” are offensive enough without adding salty/florid language to it. That, and I just sound dumber than usual if I do.

Horror

“What are your favorite horror/sci-fi movies?”
Too many to list, but here’s a few classics I never get tired of watching over and over and over: Planet of the Apes (1968); Godzilla (1954); The Legend of Hell House (1973); 30 Days of Night (2007); The Thing (1982); The Wolf-Man (1941); Alien (1979); The Evil Dead (1981); Let The Right One In (2008); An American Werewolf in London (1981), and A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984). There’s about two dozen more, but this is a nice representation of my cinematic tastes.

horror

Recent ones (as this time and space) that kicked me in the britches are The Witch (2015), It (2017), It Follows (014), Stranger Things (2016), The Babadook (2014), Godzilla (2014), Shin Godzilla (2017) and Kong: Skull Island (2017), to name a few.

Budweiser

“After all these years, why keep going?”
A curious but relentless compulsion, really. That, and it’s a way to justify all those decades sitting on a couch watching TV. And no, I’m not fat from doing that, nor would I even think about body shaming someone who is. I currently weigh just 6.5 lbs. over my target weight for height and age, despite my insatiable thirst for all things adult beverages, which is generally Budweiser™. And I don’t drink hard alcohol — too many notes. That’s not to say I’d turn down a complimentary sip or three. Ahem.

Alcohol

What critique would you give your blog?
I tend to ramble. I feel as though it should be more “don’t bore us — get to the chorus.” But I don’t wanna leave anything out. Obsession is harsh mistress. Also, I occasionally repeat myself due to the erratic nature of both my brainwaves and horror movie release schedules. That bugs the insects outta me.

Horror

“How come your blog or even yourself is not on social media?”
I do this blog for free, so why make more work for myself? As for me not being on social media, besides the fact that trendy medium sucks green donkeys, I don’t think the world needs to hear what I had for breakfast or what cat video I just watched.

“How old are you?”
For an accurate answer, cut my liver in half and count the rings.

Horror

“How much longer are you going to keep doing Drinkin’ & Drive-in?”
That’s up to my liver.

Virtual Undead, Love-Struck Mermaids, Death Janitor

Posted in Classic Horror, Evil, Ghosts, Nature Gone Wild, Science Fiction, Vampires, Zombies with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on May 11, 2018 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Evil Dead: Virtual Nightmare

Want to experience demon-possessed zombies without letting them stick pencils into the squishy marshmallow that is your flesh? (Tell me you got that reference.) Well now you can do it writing-utensil-free with Evil Dead: Virtual Nightmare.

Deadite

As first reported by Bloody_Disgusting.com, the online site Horror-Fix.com issued a press release: “Evil Dead: Virtual Nightmare will offer fans a truly unique opportunity to fully immerse themselves within The Evil Dead universe unlike ever before. With 360 degree sound and vision the players can roam freely around The Evil Dead world. Evil Dead: Virtual Nightmare will offer players a thrilling experience in first person mode inside the infamous cabin and engage them taking on Deadites in the surrounding forest.”

Deadite

This sounds way cooler than the virtual horror reality that is real life. While we wait for Evil Dead: Virtual Nightmare to arrive June 2018 on iOS and Android devices (this sucks as I only have a walkie-talkie — hey, it was FREE), here are a few upcoming horror/sci-fi movies that may or may not seem real to you…

Sequence Break

SEQUENCE BREAK (May 24, 2018/Shudder™)
“A reclusive video arcade repairman experiences bizarre biomechanical mutations and Cronenbergian hallucinations when a mysterious new arcade machine appears in his shop. Reality itself threatens to fracture as the young man works to solve its mystery — and overcome the new chaos that has entered his life.”

I’m a bit unclear with this — when doesn’t an arcade machine cause mutations and hallucinations? Heck, that’s why I play ‘em! I bet the arcade machine takes your soul instead of quarters. Too bad — I have more quarters than soul.

The Mermaid: Lake of the Dead

THE MERMAID: LAKE OF THE DEAD (July 19, 2018)
“An evil mermaid — who was once a beautiful young woman that drowned centuries ago — falls in love with a woman’s fiancée and aims to take him back to her deadly underwater kingdom.”

Sounds like Splash! (1984), but with the high potential for grievous bodily harm. Not clear on why the mermaid is evil. I’ll have to consult Flipper. He’s so dang smart.

Overlord

OVERLORD (October 26, 2018)
“Two paratroopers are caught behind enemy lines after their plane crashes on a mission to destroy a German radio tower in a small town outside of Normandy during the D-Day invasion. After reaching their target, the two paratroopers come to realize that besides fighting off Nazi soldiers, they also must combat against supernatural forces that are a result of a secret Nazi experiment.”

Nazis are the go-to bad guys in lots of horror movies, second only to vampires and sharks. Maybe they should all start a band.

The Cleaning Lady

THE CLEANING LADY (2018/2019)
“As a means to distract herself from an affair, a love-addicted woman befriends a cleaning lady, badly scarred by burns. She soon learns, these scars run much deeper than the surface.”

If you work with cleaning solvents and are badly scarred by burns, quit washing your face with Clorox™ followed by a good burnishing with an S.O.S.™ pad. (P.S. Do NOT wash your face with Clorox™ — unless you want to look like The Joker.)

Eviler Dead

Posted in Classic Horror, Evil, Zombies with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on April 21, 2018 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Evil Dead 2: Dead By Dawn

Evil Dead 2: Dead By Dawn (1987) is a sort of sequel/re-telling of the first movie with Ash, the morning-after lone survivor of the evil dead onslaught, having to go through one more night of relentless Three Stooges styled demon attacks and spraying body fluids.

Evil Dead 2: Dead By Dawn

Joining him are several guests related to the evil cabin’s previous owner (whose demon-bloated wife is hanging out in the cellar). It’s here we get more of a back-story on the skin-covered Necronomicon (first edition), which is missing some pages needed to throw down some incantation action to stop the madness. They’ll need those pages as Ash’s hand is possessed and is needing a chainsaw manicure.

Evil Dead 2: Dead By Dawn

The incantation opens up a swirling hurricane portal where evil is sucked back to whence it came. Ash and his awesome 1973 Oldsmobile Delta 88 Royale are also transported back in time o 1300 A.D., where locals are being body-shamed by Deadites. If you’re a fan of the Evil Dead series, you know this is the beginning of Army of Darkness (1992), the sequel. If you didn’t know that, then I don’t know YOU.

Evil Dead 2: Dead By Dawn

Great demons, demon humor, demon blood, demon possession and demon black gunk coming out of possessed holes. And Ash’s chainsaw prosthetic means he’s handi-capable and can handle it. Heh.

Color Coordinated Aliens, Devil Diapers, Burning Man Zombies

Posted in Aliens, Asian Horror, Classic Horror, Evil, Foreign Horror, Nature Gone Wild, Science Fiction, Scream Queens, UFOs, Witches with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on April 1, 2018 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Christopher Shy

Horror/sci-fi/fantasy artist Christopher Shy should be a billionaire for his stunning illustrative interpretations of classic genre movies like Alien (1979), A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984), Salem’s Lot (1979), The Shining (1980), The Walking Dead (2018) and more. Maybe he already is in a higher tax bracket; I haven’t tried to borrow money from him. Yet.

Christopher Shy

These ridiculously brilliant art pieces are not only suitable for framing, but belong in a museum that doesn’t smell like wet books. Shy founded Ronin Studios in 1994 and has arted for movie companies like Lionsgate and Marvel, as well as acrylically expressing himself for Dark Horse Comics and more. Wonder how much he’d charge to paint my house to look like the demon rental cabin in The Evil Dead (1981)? Probably more bit coins than I currently have in my bit piggy bank.

Christopher Shy

While you drool over these magnificent art of works, here are a few upcoming horror/sci-fi movies to distract you from the fact you’re not as talented as Christopher Shy

The Possessed

THE POSSESSED (April 6, 2018)
“When two documentary students venture into a small rural village, they witness a local ‘soul restoring’ ceremony. Upon investigation, they’re introduced to an exorcist who educates them on the exorcisms performed throughout the village’s history.”

I wanna be an exorcist when I grow up. You get to travel to exotic trailer parks, meet people who swear, float and puke gas station food, and make a difference to people who clearly take the bible literally. 

Bus Party To Hell

BUS PARTY TO HELL (April 13, 2018)
“When a party bus on its way to Burning Man filled with a bunch of sexy young adults breaks down in the desert and in the middle of a group of Satanic worshipers, all hell literally breaks loose. A massacre leaves seven survivors trapped on the bus, fighting for their lives while wondering if someone or someones are not what they seem.”

Not seeing the difference to the part buses that go to Burning Man every year. This one has zombie mummies, as well. Unless you’re a naked hippie attending Burning Man, the next popular dress code is being a mummy. More effective than sun block.

Gray Matter

GRAY MATTER ( April 20, 2018)
“After a meteorite crashes to earth awakening the extraterrestrial creature within, a young woman is abducted by an alien ‘gray’ to aide in hunting down and destroying the creature before it can reach a second meteorite that fell to earth decades earlier unleashing its deadly infestation of earth.”

I thought charcoal-colored aliens were called ‘greys’, not ‘grays.’ Calling ‘em Grays means they should accessorize with colors like seafoam, rose, marshmallow and cherry to properly color coordinate. If you’re an alien, this will match your season and help to blend in with hipster corporate executives and Mormons. 

The Sitter

THE SITTER (June, 2018)
Charlotte, a broke college student, gets a gig to house sit for an eccentric couple for a long weekend. She couldn’t believe how lucky she is. When darkness falls, things start to take a far more sinister turn. Charlotte is unable to shake the feeling that her every move is being watched and it is not long before her worst fears are confirmed — there is something else in the house with her…”

Um, was this not the exact same premise of House of the Devil (2009)? In that one the broke college student earns her pay by changing the diapers of the Devil, an experience later described as “hellish.” Heh.