Metal Deadpool, Christian UFOS, Loving The Alien

A few more character posters for the rabidly-anticipated Deadpool & Wolverine movie coming to theaters and Imax™ on July 26, 2024 which, if my refrigerator magnate calendar isn’t lying to me, is a Friday. Expect long movie lines, overpriced concessions and people yapping through the previews. This is the new reality of going to the movies these days. And you actually pay to experience/endure all of this.

Here’s the movie’s official plot: “Wade Wilson lives a quiet life, having left his time as the mercenary Deadpool behind him, until the Time Variance Authority (TVA) — a bureaucratic organization that exists outside of time and space and monitors the timeline — pulls him into a new mission. With his home universe facing an existential threat, Wilson reluctantly joins with an even more reluctant Wolverine on a mission which will change the history of the Marvel Cinematic Universe.”

If you’re a fan of Deadpool and have a spare $10,145.03 laying around, Etsy™ seller MetalArtProductions™ has created a life-size metal sculpture of DP, perfect to accentuate whatever you call furniture in your living room. A review of the sculpture says that “MetalArtProductions™ artists hand craft each unique piece they create, as is the case with this Deadpool sculpture. Only parts that are recycled are used. Each piece undergoes hours of designing and meticulous planning. Once a design is ready, the welding process starts. This can take up to months, all depending on the size, scale and detail of a particular piece.” Yep, totally worth every penny. Spend it here.

So while we all “pool” our money together and buy the Deadpool sculpture (I get to have it first), here are a few out now/upcoming horror/sci-fi movies/documentaries that may or may not have long lines waiting to see ’em…

ABDUCTION: THE HARVESTING / Out now (VOD)

“A mother confronts occult phenomena and a conspiracy when her teenage son appears possessed by demonic forces. Despite tests and Church intervention, his condition deteriorates, hinting at an extraterrestrial influence.”

Like the Church has ever been effective against demonic forces OR aliens. God only knows what the Church even does in the first place. 

GOD VS. UFOS / June 25, 2024 (VOD)

“This film looks into whether UFOs are not just physical crafts but could actually some form of paranormal phenomena. Are they inter-dimensional beings, time travelers, or are they actually something more scary like demons? Does the US government know this dark truth and is keeping it hidden from the people?”

Another wacko offering from the tin hat crowd. The presented theories don’t hold holy water because extraterrestrials are atheists. Want proof? Ever see an alien in church?

ALIEN LOVE / June 25, 2024 (VOD)

“A NASA astronaut returns from space a hero and reports the mission a success, but fails to reveal an alien encounter to the public let alone to his beautiful wife.”

The movie title tells us the astronaut hooked up with an alien, so of course the mission was a success. On Uranus, there was some serious probin’ going on. Heh.

THINE EARS SHALL BLEED / July 9, 2024 (US digital), July 15 (UK digital)

“In the 1860s American West, a minister and his family are traveling in a covered wagon when they hear a mysterious sound from the woods. Believing the sound to be God, they worship it, until they realize the sound is something much darker.”

And thus, heavy metal was born.