Cretaceous Carnage, Extraterrestrial Tech, Krampus Cookies

The last time I blogged about Carnosaur was nine years on June 24, 2015. The seas were rough that day. And I had opened the first of 12 chilled cans of Smart Water™. Ahem. The first Carnosaur movie, inspired by the 1984 Harry Adam Knight novel, was released in 1993 as a mockbuster alternative to Jurassic Park (1993), and was followed by Carnosaur 2 in 1995 and Carnosaur 3: Primal Species in 1996. Watching people being torn apart and subsequently taste-tested by marauding modern day dinosaurs was, no pun intended, deliciously satisfying. And now you can read all about those toothy rascals with the new soft-cover compendium (book), History of Carnosaur, by hardcore fan/author Joseph Palinkas. (FYI — Books are for people who don’t have TVs.)

The book’s description (as if you need it): “30 years ago, Carnosaur was dropped into theaters, making a solid box office and starting a pulpy fun run of 1990’s creature feature dinosaur carnage. 30 years later, for the first time, History of Carnosaur, a varied, brisk dive into the beginnings and lifetime of this beloved series. Featuring exclusive interviews and photos.” They had me a brisk dive. So I clicked this to buy it for $14.99. You might wanna do that, too.

So while we all bone up on Carnosaur in case the topic comes up at parties/Town Hall debates/church, here are a few out now horror/sci-fi movies/documentaries that may or may not need drinking chilled cans of Smart Water™ to enjoy…

ALIEN ELITE: UFO DEFENDERS OF NATIONAL SECURITY / Out now (VOD)

“The UFO enigma has entered a new era with recent government and military disclosures but their interest in UFOs isn’t new, for decades special projects within the defense industry have been pursuing hidden agendas relating to advanced alien technology that are still unknown to the public. Explore these classified programs and the mysterious people involved in the UFO enigma.”

If not for leaked alien tech, we wouldn’t have such things as Pizza Scissors, the Charmin™ Rollbot, and the must-have “As-Seen-On-TV Hat.”

SHADOWS / Out now (VOD)

“Six former gangsters face retribution from the demonic spirit of a man they once murdered.”

Always wondered why you turn demonic after you’re murdered to death. Is acquiring that trait a bonus of being dead? Counting on it. 

SHADOW SIDE / Out now (VOD)

“The harrowing journey of Sophie, a young woman who, while seeking a romantic retreat in an isolated chalet, finds herself trapped in a supernatural nightmare. The discovery of an ancestral pact, involving her fiance Cal, triggers a series of inexplicable events, leaving her at the mercy of dark forces. Confined to the chalet, Sophie faces horrifying apparitions, macabre riddles and a terrifying creature, forcing her to uncover the hidden secrets that haunt the place. As Sophie fights for her sanity, she discovers that an ancient mandala is her only hope for survival.”

And that ancient mandala is a poster of a kitten dangling from a stick with the caption, “Hang In There!”

GRANNY KRAMPUS / Out now (VOD)

“An estranged family is brought together for a final reunion at the old family home for Christmas. Returning to the home of the old matriarch of the family and her bed-bound brother, they quickly find themselves at the mercy of a nightmarish entity from the past.”

Still, I bet Granny Krampus makes really good cookies.