Cannibal Cuisine

Trouble Every Day (2001) is a French horror movie about a chick that has sex with dudes and then eats their flesh. Hopefully in that order.

Shane Brown is an American scientist on his honeymoon in Paris. Instead of frenching his wife, he’s plagued by reoccurring nightmares of having sex and ripping flesh apart. He looks up Dr. Léo Sémeneau, his brain experimenting buddy, in order to figure out why he wants to eat his wife, but not in the legally married way.

The doc’s gone, but his hottie wife Coré is hanging around, having sex with local monsieurs and chowing on their flesh. Talk about soul mates — Shane needs to get an annulment and hook up with this broad and get their flesh freak on asap.

Coré looks good sans clothes and shows her bare upper half a lot. That both sweater busters are covered in blood and particulate matter most of the time is moot. Shane looks like the drummer for Foghat. Do not gaze upon his nakedness as it will turn you off to such rockin’ songs as “Slow Ride” and whatever Foghat’s second hit was. (I think it’s “I Just Wanna Make Love To You — And Then Eat Your Flesh.”)

The cannibal scenes are tame, as is the depictions of sex. Long stretches of emoting (there’s barely any dialogue) bring this thing to an attention deficit crawl. I guess the French figured the subject matter was enough to shock the viewer into thinking this is a great movie. The French are wrong.