Three-Dimensional Shark

Jaws 3-D

A 35-foot Great White shark gets caught in Sea World, an all-people-you-can eat theme park. This is where admission paying citizens come to swim, water-ski and pee now that everyone has lost their, um, appetite for swimming in the ocean. (See Jaws and Jaws II).

Jaws 3-D

Once the rogue chomper has been outed, a big game diver goes in to kill it. The shark swallows him whole and chews on him like seal jerky—and they show this from the inside of the shark’s mouth looking out! You don’t see that every day. (I do because I bought the DVD. Hey, it was only $1.99 at the gas station still in its original wrapper.)

Jaws 3-D

Where Jaws 3-D (1983) further belly-ups is with the appearance of Mama Jaws, a submarine-sized shark that’s looking for her little lost torso-biter. Filmed in 3-D didn’t help matters much and only made the sharks look even more rubber-esque and thus by extension not cool.

Jaws 3-D

The original title for this wet willie was the best thing going for it: “Jaws 3, People 0.”

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: