Boobs For Dracula

Blood For Dracula

The campy, art nouveau Blood For Dracula (1974), produced by eccentric ’60s/‘70s pop artist pop artist/filmmaker Andy Warhol (he turned Campbell’s Soup™ cans into profitable statement art), is also known as Andy Warhol’s Dracula. After watching it, I think a better title might be Boobs for Dracula, as there are lots of those in this straight-faced, porn-lite black comedy.

Blood For Dracula

Count Dracula is fresh out of virgins. Well, who isn’t? In his homeland of Romania, he and his vampire family have bled the countryside dry, and now he’s less than two weeks away from dying. Oh sure, there’s lots of regular blood still left, but he needs the pure blood from virgins. And I thought I was a picky eater.

Blood For Dracula

He and his assistant travel to Italy and are hosted by a family of strapped landowners. They figure if they can get one of their four daughters married off to him, they’ll get a cash bail-out. But the Count and his weirdo accent has specific rules – his new wife must be a “wirgin.”

Blood For Dracula

Of course, the two smoking hot middle sisters lie as they’ve been getting the handyman’s handy man for some time now, and even take off their clothes to prove it. Dracula, starved to the point of being pushed around in wheelchair, bites the hell out of the eldest daughter’s throat and… Uh, oh – the tainted blood wants back out.

Blood For Dracula

In one of the greatest – and longest – convulsive vomiting scenes ever filmed, Dracula is hunched over the bathtub barfing his brains out, while squirming around like a worm on a hot frying pan. “Vomiting looks great when you’ve got a tuxedo on,” he decides later. True that.

Blood For Dracula

One down, one to go. Drac goes after the next sister and gets another gut full of rotten blood. Dang it – why do they keep lying to him? Getting fed up with not being fed up, Dracula sets his sights on the 14 year-old sister. But the Handyman is on to him. After a preemptive reputation besmirching of the young lady (please tell me you know what I meant), he fetches an axe and chops off Dracula’s pointing arm and both of his legs. Undead or not, that looked like it hurt like hell.

Blood For Dracula

So the sisters and the estate now become the property of the Handyman. All in a day’s work. And hey, no more wirgins left to put a damper on the party!

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