Ghost Pirate or Pirate Ghost?

Jolly Roger: Massacre at Cutter’s Cove

Jolly Roger: Massacre at Cutter’s Cove (2005) sports an evil treasure chest (aren’t they all?), which happens to contain an evil pirate ghost who needs to collect 16 heads in order to get back his 16 pieces of gold. Some curses are impractical as to be totally unbelievable.

Jolly Roger: Massacre at Cutter’s Cove

Named Jolly Roger (now there’s some originality), the undead mud-faced pirate goes around slicing heads off. The cops think it’s the work of some law-unabiding teens hopped up on goofers. We know they’re innocent, but why waste an opportunity to lock up a teenager?

Jolly Roger: Massacre at Cutter’s Cove

J-Rog also kills strippers because even though they don’t have sunken chests (sorry, couldn’t resist), he needs to get a little head from them. (Sorry, couldn’t resist.)

Jolly Roger: Massacre at Cutter’s Cove

Roger, Jolly or not, is a poor excuse to franchise yet another wise-cracking horror icon (see what you did, Freddy Krueger?), and is about as threatening as a piranha with dentures. As for the strippers, they were exceptionally awesome.

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