Archive for Jolly Roger: Massacre at Cutter’s Cove

Pirate Zombies

Posted in Classic Horror, Evil, Fantasy, Ghosts, Zombies with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on November 28, 2013 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Zombie Pirates

Zombie pirates or, “pirate zombies,” are not exactly new to the horror genre. If what few remaining brain cells serve me correctly (and why wouldn’t they – I let them live), a recent example would be the cursed pirate zombies in the ba-jillion dollar Pirates of the Caribbean franchise. Then there was Jolly Roger: Massacre at Cutter’s Cove (2005), which featured a ghost pirate zombie. There were more, but like I said, limited brain cell resources.

So Zombie Pirates, releasing January 21, 2014, carries on in the fine tradition of swashbuckling, swording, stabbing and, presumably, a treasure chest full of flesh-eating.

Zombie Pirates

What to expect: “A dangerous young woman offers up human sacrifices to a ghost ship of the dead in return for an ancient treasure. When she comes up one sacrifice short, her zombie masters exact their bloody revenge in this gory tribute to Spain’s popular Blind Dead Euro Horror series.”

Night of the Seagulls

A little obscure reference, but the Blind Dead series is an excellent inspirational source, i.e., Tombs of the Blind Dead (1971), Return of the Blind Dead (1973), The Ghost Galleon (1974), Night of the Seagulls (1975). In fact, I pattern my own moral stance on seagulls.

So we’re promised a dangerous young woman, human sacrifice, a ghost ship that may or may not have proper running lights, taxable ancient treasure, zombie masters (i.e., Republicans) and gory bloody revenge, the best kind of all reprisals.

P.S. Seagulls rock.

Ghost Pirate or Pirate Ghost?

Posted in Evil, Ghosts, Scream Queens, Slashers with tags , , , , , , , , , on October 2, 2013 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Jolly Roger: Massacre at Cutter’s Cove

Jolly Roger: Massacre at Cutter’s Cove (2005) sports an evil treasure chest (aren’t they all?), which happens to contain an evil pirate ghost who needs to collect 16 heads in order to get back his 16 pieces of gold. Some curses are impractical as to be totally unbelievable.

Jolly Roger: Massacre at Cutter’s Cove

Named Jolly Roger (now there’s some originality), the undead mud-faced pirate goes around slicing heads off. The cops think it’s the work of some law-unabiding teens hopped up on goofers. We know they’re innocent, but why waste an opportunity to lock up a teenager?

Jolly Roger: Massacre at Cutter’s Cove

J-Rog also kills strippers because even though they don’t have sunken chests (sorry, couldn’t resist), he needs to get a little head from them. (Sorry, couldn’t resist.)

Jolly Roger: Massacre at Cutter’s Cove

Roger, Jolly or not, is a poor excuse to franchise yet another wise-cracking horror icon (see what you did, Freddy Krueger?), and is about as threatening as a piranha with dentures. As for the strippers, they were exceptionally awesome.