Japanese Porn Horror

Carved: The Slit-Mouthed Woman (2007) is a sorta porno lite movie dressed up as a Japanese horror flick. I see nothing in my liberal upbringing that has an issue with that.

The slit-mouthed woman is one of those Ringu (1998) type ghosts with long stringy black hair, bulging eyeballs and, in this case, a mouth that opens wider than usual. SMW is the daughter of a politician, and who gets involved with a married man, rebuffed, then distraughtly rams her car into a steel pole pointing towards her face.

Taken to a cosmetic surgery hospital, the doctors can fix everything except her cracked coconut. Still stinging from being dumped (and those painful face Band-Aids™), she commits suicide – and the hospital room where she freshness-expired is sealed. After doctors and nurses later turn up missing there’s no one left to run the joint, so they shut the damned place down.

This leaves the abandoned hospital open to horny couples wanting a few minutes of uninterrupted romantic power mattressing in a sterile setting. Anyone making the sign of the humpback whale causes Slitty to walk out from a dark corner and scare the pants back on you.

Ghost gal doesn’t really do anything else except look frightful. The thing that’ll goon you out more than the slit-mouthed woman herself is watching horny people kiss. Their tongues look like two slugs fighting over whatever slugs eat. So revolting, it’ll actually make you lose your taste for slimy bananas. Don’t let it – bananas are good for you.