Windmill of Doom
No sooner than I do an entire blog about the resurgence of the word “massacre” in a horror movie title [click HERE for excellence in fake journalism], a new one pops up. Called The Windmill Massacre (releasing 2016), this Dutch made dust-up concerns a chick on the run from the law, Devil-worshipping, and windmills. (Historical fact: windmills were centuries ahead of those fancy-pants wind turbines you see all over the place these days.)
Anyway, here’s how The Windmill Massacre spins: “Jennifer is an Australian girl on the run from her past who washes up in Amsterdam. In a desperate attempt to stay one step ahead of the authorities, she joins a coach-load of tourists embarking on a tour of Holland’s world famous windmills.”
“When the bus breaks down in the middle of nowhere, she and the other tourists are forced to seek shelter in a disused shed beside a sinister windmill where, legend has it, a Devil-worshipping miller once ground the bones of locals instead of grain. As members of the group start to disappear, Jennifer learns that they all have something in common – a shared secret that seems to mark them all for doom.”
Doom is a tidy word as it doesn’t need explaining. But what does is the Devil-worshipping miller grinding human bones. If its used in place of flour, you can only imagine what kind of taste bone powder gives to doughnuts. And what good are doughnuts that only a cannibal could choke down? Not a very good business model.