Archive for devil-worshipper

Windmill of Doom

Posted in Classic Horror, Evil, Foreign Horror, Slashers with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , on November 18, 2015 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

The Windmill Massacre

No sooner than I do an entire blog about the resurgence of the word “massacre” in a horror movie title [click HERE for excellence in fake journalism], a new one pops up. Called The Windmill Massacre (releasing 2016), this Dutch made dust-up concerns a chick on the run from the law, Devil-worshipping, and windmills. (Historical fact: windmills were centuries ahead of those fancy-pants wind turbines you see all over the place these days.)

The Windmill Massacre

Anyway, here’s how The Windmill Massacre spins: “Jennifer is an Australian girl on the run from her past who washes up in Amsterdam. In a desperate attempt to stay one step ahead of the authorities, she joins a coach-load of tourists embarking on a tour of Holland’s world famous windmills.”

The Windmill Massacre

“When the bus breaks down in the middle of nowhere, she and the other tourists are forced to seek shelter in a disused shed beside a sinister windmill where, legend has it, a Devil-worshipping miller once ground the bones of locals instead of grain.  As members of the group start to disappear, Jennifer learns that they all have something in common – a shared secret that seems to mark them all for doom.”

The Windmill Massacre

Doom is a tidy word as it doesn’t need explaining. But what does is the Devil-worshipping miller grinding human bones. If its used in place of flour, you can only imagine what kind of taste bone powder gives to doughnuts. And what good are doughnuts that only a cannibal could choke down? Not a very good business model.

Goth Airlines

Posted in Science Fiction, Slashers with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on March 9, 2014 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Turbulence 3: Heavy Metal

Satan death metal thrash Goth rocker Slade Craven is performing a concert – in the cargo hold aboard a 747 commercial flying machine. This means the cockpit is now the mosh pit. The first-ever airborne heavy metal gig is also being simulcast on the Internet, or “world wide web.”

Turbulence 3: Heavy Metal

Shortly after take-off the show begins, with Craven looking like a cross between Marilyn Manson and that white-faced vampire thing in Subspecies (1991). In the background, a law-pursued hacker manages to hack his way into the web TV’s mainframe to watch the concert for free. (I totally bet it was my neighbor.)

Turbulence 3: Heavy Metal

During the show something goes wrong besides the concept; Craven shoots the pilot – and personal baggage is NOT stored safely in the overhead compartment. Seems an imposter Craven – a real devil-worshipper – is hijacking the plane with the plan to crash it into a specific church in Kansas, reputed to be the gateway to Hell, thereby letting out all the stink demons. (No wonder Dorothy wanted out of that town so bad.)

Turbulence 3: Heavy Metal

The hacker sees all of this on his screen, as does the FBI, and the race is on to save a plane load of really stupid-looking Goth rocker fans from a fate they deserve for dressing so stupid.

Turbulence 3: Heavy Metal

Wild twists and cool shifts in plotting turn this preposterous premise into a real headbanger. At the very least, no one can accuse Turbulence 3: Heavy Metal (2001) of being clichéd. FYI: The ending is worth three times the DVD rental. I won’t spoil it so as to not ruin your heavy metal dreams. And hey, death metal songs to sing along with!